I’ve been held back a couple of times, so I’m bigger than most kids in my class. But Orville was like a small mountain. I swallowed hard.
This Vietnamese kid named Phon Le Duc started to giggle. “Go get him, Duncan,” he said.
I could have killed Phon for that. The problem was, I nearly had killed him a couple of times last year, since I used to beat him up about once a month. So I could see why he would have been happy to watch Orville cream me.
“What did I do?” I asked, stalling for time.
“Nothing,” said Orville. “I just don’t like your face. Come on outside so I can rearrange it.”
“Oh, shut up and sit down,” said a voice from behind me.
It was Susan Simmons—the girl who had unmasked the alien last spring.
Susan Simmons, one of the five best-looking girls in seventh grade.
Susan Simmons, who was probably the smartest kid in our class, now that weird Peter Thompson was gone.
Susan Simmons, who walked up to Orville Plumber and said, “Go away.” That’s all she did—just said, “Go away.”
You want to know the amazing thing? Orville went. Actually, the first thing he did was turn pale. Then he went.
I turned to Susan. “How did you do that?” I asked.
She shrugged. “Ever since last spring a lot of people have been afraid of me. The dumber they are, the more they’re afraid. Orville probably thinks I stole some secret weapon from Broxholm and I was ready to use it to drill a hole through his skull.”
“Is that true?” I asked, remembering the way Broxholm had melted the school doors shut when he was making his getaway. I also remembered how much time Susan had spent exploring Broxholm’s house. Maybe she had found something there.
She just smiled and said, “What do you think, Duncan?”
Then she turned and walked back to her own table.
I was frustrated. I wanted to talk to Susan some more. I felt good when I was with her. But she had her own group of friends, and just because I had helped her fight the alien didn’t mean she was going to let me in. OK, I guess I hadn’t really helped. But I’d been involved! Me, Susan, and Peter—we were the only ones who had really known what was going on. You’d think that would count for something.
I was also embarrassed, since it doesn’t look good to have a girl save you from being turned into dog meat.
Things didn’t get any better after lunch. I still hadn’t figured out how to get around the building, so I was really late for my sixth-period class, which was math. I tried hard to find it—I really did. I had promised myself I would do better in school this year. (So far that idea wasn’t working out very well.) Also, I knew kids would laugh if I came in late again, especially if they had already heard about Susan saving me from Orville. To top things off, I knew from Patrick that the math teacher, Mr. Black, was pretty cranky.
So I really wanted to get there on time.
I kept running up and down hallways, looking for Mr. Black’s room. My brain felt like it was melting. I couldn’t make any sense of the building. When I finally did find the room I was panting and my heart was pounding.
“Ah, Mr. Dougal, I presume,” said Mr. Black when I walked in. “I will accept your lateness today. However, in the future either be here on time or plan to spend the period in the office.”
I had had it. Between my brother, my father, the Mancatcher, and Orville Plumber, I just wasn’t ready to have anyone else dump on me—especially when I had been trying so hard to do something right.
Does your mouth ever do things without getting your permission first? Mine does. It did it right then. I looked at Mr. Black and my mouth said, “Bug off, pinhead!”
About three seconds after the words came out of my mouth I realized what I had done. My skin turned cold. At the same time I felt a hand grab my arm.
“What did you say?” asked Mr. Black, yanking me around and staring into my face.
“Nothing,” I whispered. “I didn’t say anything.”
Mr. Black pulled open the door and shoved me through it. “You can try again tomorrow, Mr. Dougal. For today, I think you’ll be better off out here.”
Inside I could hear the kids laughing.
I really hate it when people laugh at me.
If Mr. Black thought I was going to stand in the hall until the end of the period, he was wrong. I was getting out: out of his hall, and out of his school.
I was heading down the hall when I saw the fire alarm. I figured since I was leaving, everyone else might as well leave, too.
That’s not true. I don’t know what I figured. I just know that I reached out and pulled it.
The bell started to clang. Doors flew open. Screaming kids poured out of the classrooms. “It’s the aliens!” they cried. “The aliens are back!”
It should have been funny. It would have been funny, if not for one terrible fact: when I pulled the alarm, it sprayed purple ink all over my hand! It didn’t take much brainpower to figure out that the ink was to mark people who turned in false alarms.
I had to wash the stuff off. I ran for the boys’ room.
Duh! Brilliant move, Duncan. That’s exactly what they expect you to do—which shouldn’t have been too hard to figure out, except I was either too scared or too stupid to manage it. Fortunately, my brother had warned me about this.
I shot back into the hallway. Things were still in an uproar. Some kids were actually crying because they were convinced the alien invasion had begun. Teachers were shouting and trying to get them out of the building.
As fire drills go, this was a total disaster.
Jamming my purple hand in my pocket, I pushed through the confusion and headed for the back door of the school. The door opened onto a loading dock. Three or four empty cardboard boxes were stacked at the far end. Closer to me stood a big green dumpster, already starting to stink in the afternoon heat.
What I really wanted to do was take off and run. But since about half the school was outside already, I couldn’t do that without being caught. I had to hide someplace.
Well, at least I wasn’t in the boys’ room. I figured the Mancatcher was there right now, looking for a kid with a purple hand.
I pulled my hand out of my pocket and stared at the purple stain. It was like a big sign that shrieked, “Duncan did it! Duncan did it! ”
Where could I hide? I peeked back around the door. Things were quieter now. Maybe I could hide someplace inside until school was over.
I opened the door, slipped through, and almost swallowed my tongue.
The Mancatcher was heading right toward me.