- Early on, we’re given insight into Mark’s views on happiness: “He wasn’t so naive as to think anyone could simply choose to be happy… but one could choose paths that allowed for happiness. One could choose to accept any happiness one found” (here). How much control does a person have over his or her happiness? Is it naive to believe it’s possible to choose happiness? Why did Mark feel this way even before Brendan’s death?
- At first, Mark believes that he owes Allie marriage because she “had trusted him enough to love him” (here). Can a sense of duty or obligation be the foundation for a good marriage? Does Mark truly love Allie?
- Before he proposes to Allie, Mark talks to his father and Lew about his plans. Why does he feel the need to tell them first? Is Mark is hoping for support or for disapproval?
- Was Connie Pelham wrong to seek out Mark after her son told her about Brendan’s ghost? Should she have tried to solve the problem without involving Mark or Chloe?
- While comforting Chloe about her breakup, Mark reassures her that it’s all right to allow herself to feel pain in her situation, saying, “Like we’re not allowed to ever be sad about anything else?” (here). Has Mark taken his own advice to heart, or has he put similar restrictions on his pain?
- When Mark tells Chloe about his engagement to Allie, he is surprised by her reaction: “Chloe took a deep breath, drew back from the table. Almost as though he’d slapped her… He was, oddly, excited. The news hurt her; news about him could still hurt her,” (here). Does Mark’s excitement come from a place of love or from something more selfish? Is it possible to love someone yet take pleasure in his or her pain?
- Compare Mark and Chloe’s reactions to their conversations with Connie. Why is one more willing to believe her than the other?
- When Mark meets Helen, he is surprised because he “had never considered that Sam might end up falling for someone so different from Mark’s mother” (here). Why do you think Mark hasn’t considered this possibility? Did Mark do the same thing by dating Allie after Chloe, or are the two women more alike than Mark realizes?
- Mark believes “there was nothing shameful about Allison, about the way they’d met” (here), but when Helen asks, he and Allie don’t tell the full truth. Why do they lie about how they met? Do you think that Mark and Allie lie for themselves or for other people?
- Mark repeatedly wonders whether or not he “deserves” to be happy (here, here). Is happiness something that must be deserved? Why is Mark so hesitant to move on?
- Allie seems to recognize that Mark has begun drinking again after the window-breaking incident (here). Why doesn’t she confront him? Does Allie let Mark off the hook more than once because of his grief?
- As Mark sits in Brendan’s old room again, he decides that Brendan’s death wasn’t an accident, that it was both his and Chloe’s fault: “You were trying to run away, but that was only because, that morning, Mommy and I were worth leaving. Because we didn’t love you the right way. Because I wanted to drink and watch the television more than I wanted to teach you. Because your mother wanted to punish me with you” (here). Is this a fair conclusion? Is there a difference between being a factor in someone’s death and being at fault?
- According to Trudy, “mothers tell a child how to be born, and to grow” while “fathers show us how to fight. How to die” (here). Is it true that mothers and fathers have inherently different relationships with their children? Relate this to how Mark and Chloe each handled their grief.
- As he contemplates his relationships with Chloe and Allie, Mark often idealizes his own parents’ marriage. How does the revelation of Sam’s affair (here) impact Mark’s view of his father? Of his mother?
- Why is Chloe unwilling to accept that Brendan hasn’t returned, even after Jacob confesses to lying (here)? If Brendan’s spirit had been in the house, do you think that Chloe would have been able to say goodbye once and for all?
- If Mark hadn’t revealed the spirit as a hoax, would Mark and Chloe have been able to make things work between them? Why does Chloe once again seem to blame Mark for the loss of their son?
- In the end, Mark seems ready to tackle fatherhood again with his and Allie’s daughter. Would things have been different if Allie had been pregnant with a boy? Will Allie be able to forgive Mark?