‘I think we should have a souvenir of our time here,’ said the Headmaster. ‘Something big that says NEW YORK.’
‘Well, there’s plenty of big stuff in America,’ said Betty. ‘They’re always going on about how everything they’ve got is bigger than everyone else’s.’
‘Their bottoms are,’ said Ffiona.
‘And their food,’ said the Cook.
‘I think I have the perfect suggestion,’ said Winchflat, ‘but we’ll do it in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep.’
‘There is never a time when everyone’s asleep,’ said Betty. ‘After all, New York is called The City That Never Sleeps.’
‘I thought that was Antwerp,’ said Ffiona, who was a bit of a geography nerd.
‘No, no,’ said the Headmaster. ‘I think you’ll find that Antwerp is The City That Sleeps In Late Every Morning.’
‘I thought that was Buenos Aires,’ said Merlinmary.
‘No, that’s The City That Sleeps Every Afternoon,’ said Winchflat, turning on his Wonderful-Memory-Implanting-Machine. ‘Anyway, a few quick adjustments and tonight New York will be The City That Decided To Have An Early Night.’
So they packed their bags and removed every tiny scrap of evidence that might show any of them had been in New York. Then they transferred ownership of the Summer School building to a charity for sad, lost, lonely puppies. They removed all evidence of Le Inondazioni Olive Oil Import and Export Company and shuffled the buildings back to fill the gap they had created for it. Winchflat did the best he could with his Wonderful Machine to erase all memories of the election and Morbid becoming Mayor and the Great No Toilet Roll Pandemic, but for weeks afterwards every New Yorker was left with a head full of the uneasy feeling that something wasn’t quite right though they could never put their finger on it.42 The huge numbers of red rubber balls everywhere only added to the confusion.
But all of that was nothing compared to the thing the Floods took away with them when they left.
‘And you must admit,’ said Winchflat as he stood on the steps of Castle Twilight back in Transylvania Waters, looking out over the town towards Lake Tarnish where it now stood, ‘the Statue of Liberty looks a lot better here than it did in America.’
‘Indeed it does, darling,’ said Mordonna. ‘And the wizard’s hat is a great improvement.’
42 I think you’ll actually find that this is how New Yorkers always feel.