My entire life has revolved around golf, in one form or another. It started when I was five. I hit my first shot on the course with my father during his regular Saturday morning game, continued playing through the collegiate and amateur ranks, and ultimately played 10 years as a touring professional. Throughout all these years, I’ve encountered more than my fair share of disasters on the golf course. Like all good disasters, most of these were unexpected—but ultimately they taught me quite a bit about myself and the game.
SURVIVAL RULE #1: Watch where you’re driving.
One year, my friends and I decided to enter a night tournament in Phoenix. We were all good players and thought that we would win most of the prizes easily. We were in our cart approaching the green on a par-3 late in the round—it was very dark—when the cart path suddenly split. Our partners went right, we went left. The next thing I knew, I was really wet. My partner and I burst out laughing. A hundred yards away, the members of the other cart were howling, too. Sure enough, we’d driven our carts into the greenside lake—and both carts were almost completely submerged. We didn’t win that tournament, but we had by far the best stories to tell at the awards party. Still, we weren’t invited back.
SURVIVAL RULE #2: An eye for an eye only makes the whole tour blind.
Physical confrontations are usually few and far between on the golf course. However, early in my career I played in a Nike Tour event in Santa Rosa, California. I was paired with a friendly acquaintance for the first two rounds of the event. We had been paired together a disproportionate number of times that particular season, and I guess we were just growing a little tired of each other.
After he brought it home in 42 on the back nine to ruin a front nine 31, he signed his scorecard, approached me, and proceeded to antagonistically inform me that the lack of heart, talent, skill, and character he displayed on the back nine were all my fault. (In truth, some of it probably was, because I wasn’t playing very inspired golf after a horrible front nine that left my clubs and my enthusiasm bruised and battered.)
Not wanting to get fined or suspended by decking him right then and there, I calmly listened to him and politely disagreed with everything he said. I tried chalking it up to end-of-the-year weariness, but it festered in my mind all night, and I knew that the next day would be agonizing, because we were still paired together. So I decided something had to be done.
On the driving range in the morning, I dropped my clubs, went over to him, and said, “If you have any intention of talking to me in that tone again, be prepared to settle it like a man.” I spent the rest of the day trying to antagonize him into starting a physical confrontation.
In the end, we both played horribly, we both acted like children, and we both knew that our emotions cost us any chance of performing well in that tournament. To this day we’re still friends, but I hope I never have to play golf with him again.
SURVIVAL RULE #3: When the weather gets rough, get going.
During the first round of the 1991 US Open, I was on the golf course putting out on the sixth green as a storm produced some vicious lightning. In those days, we were still allowed to complete the hole we were playing even if play was suspended due to threatening weather—and we decided to do so. Once finished, we were herded into a school bus, and we heard the sirens of an ambulance. We later learned that a spectator was killed by a bolt of lightning. Later that same year, another spectator was killed at the PGA Championship in Indianapolis. The danger of lightning was now thoroughly understood by everyone in golf.
Later in my career, I was among a group of three that actually terminated play for the entire field at a Nike Tour event in Shreveport, Louisiana. We felt in danger because of lightning, and decided to walk off the course. Our decision wasn’t overly popular with the rules officials, but we weren’t about to take any chances. You shouldn’t either.
Golf has taught me many valuable lessons, and it has brought me many joys—but I still never know what’s awaiting me on the next hole. Expect the unexpected. And the next time you find yourself in a situation that you never dreamed possible, remember, I warned you.
—Jerry Foltz, Tournament Player and Journalist
When I’m on a golf course and it starts to
rain and lightning, I hold up my one iron,
’cause I know even God can’t hit a one iron.
—Lee Trevino
They say that life is a lot like golf—don’t believe them.
Golf is a lot more complicated.
—Gardner Dickinson