Manage by Exception

“Why do great managers break the Golden Rule?”

“Everyone is exceptional” has a second meaning: Everyone should be treated as an exception. Each employee has his own filter, his own way of interpreting the world around him, and therefore each employee will demand different things of you, his manager.

Some want you to leave them alone from almost the first moment they are hired. Others feel slighted if you don’t check in with them every day. Some want to be recognized by you, “the boss.” Others see their peers as the truest source of recognition. Some crave their praise on a public stage. Others shun the glare of publicity, valuing only that quiet, private word of thanks. Each employee breathes different psychological oxygen.

Kirk D., a sales manager for a pharmaceutical company, learned this quickly. He tells of one particular salesperson, Mike, who was always in the top ten of the company’s 150 salespeople, but who, Kirk felt, still had more to give.

“Initially I couldn’t figure him out. I’m real competitive, and since he was a professional football player for eight years, a running back, I naturally assumed he must be as competitive as me. I would try to rile him up by telling him how much some of the other salespeople had done that month. But when I told him he just looked bored. No fire, no burn. Just bored. It turned out that, despite his background, Mike wasn’t competitive at all. He was an achiever. He simply wanted to beat himself. He didn’t care about anybody else. In his mind, they were irrelevant. So I started asking him what he was going to do this month to better himself. As soon as I asked him this he couldn’t stop talking. Ideas poured out. And together we made them happen. He became the number one salesperson in the company for six straight years.”

Remember the Golden Rule? “Treat people as you would like to be treated.” The best managers break the Golden Rule every day. They would say don’t treat people as you would like to be treated. This presupposes that everyone breathes the same psychological oxygen as you. For example, if you are competitive, everyone must be similarly competitive. If you like to be praised in public, everyone else must, too. Everyone must share your hatred of micromanagement.

This thinking is well-intended but overly simplistic, reminiscent perhaps of the four-year-old who proudly presents his mother with a red truck for her birthday because that is the present he wants. So the best managers reject the Golden Rule. Instead, they say, treat each person as he would like to be treated, bearing in mind who he is. Of course, each employee must adhere to certain standards of behavior, certain rules. But within those rules, treat each one differently, each according to his needs.

Some managers will protest, “How can I possibly keep track of each employee’s unique needs?” And who can blame them? It’s hard to treat each employee differently, particularly since outward appearance offers few clues to an individual’s particular needs. It’s a little like being told to play chess without knowing how all the pieces move.

But the best managers have the solution: Ask. Ask your employee about her goals: What are you shooting for in your current role? Where do you see your career heading? What personal goals would you feel comfortable sharing with me? How often do you want to meet to talk about your progress?

Feel her out about her taste in praise: does she seem to like public recognition or private? Written or verbal? Who is her best audience? It can be very effective to ask her to tell you about the most meaningful recognition she has ever received. Find out what made it so memorable. Also ask her about her relationship with you. Can she tell you how she learns? You might inquire whether she has ever had any mentors or partners who have helped her. How did they help?

With such a bulk of information to remember about each employee, managers often find that it helps to jot it all down. Some design organized filing systems, where each employee has his own folder, flecked with ticklers that remind the manager when each employee’s check-in cycle has come full circle. Others just scribble the details down on scruffy little note cards and carry them around in their pocket — employee “cheat sheets,” they call them.

Obviously there is no right way to capture this information. Just capture it. Without it you are functionally blind, flailing around with stereotypes, generalizations, and misguided notions that “fairness” means “sameness.” But armed with it you are focused. You can focus on each person’s strengths and turn talents into performance. You can “manage by exception.”