I was awoken by someone banging on my door and I was suddenly filled with fear. It was almost three in the morning. Who the hell would be here at that time unless it was the cops or someone intent on harm? My hands were shaking and I pulled the covers up to my chin as I stared at the bedroom door. What the frick do I do? Shitshitshitshit.
The banging stopped and I held my breath as I tiptoed from my bed to the door.
BANG BANG BANG!
I almost jumped out of my skin and squeaked. My hands covered my mouth and my eyes widened. Blood was whooshing in my ears as my heart battered my rib cage.
“Chloe...Chloe please.”
Six? What the hell? I walked to the front door. “What do you want?”
“I just...I need to talk. I know I fucked up. But...I just need a friend right now.” His voice cracked as he spoke and my heart cracked with it. “Just a friend.”
I clicked the dead bolt and opened the door to be greeted by a lost looking, broken man. He didn't look like Six at all. His eyes were bloodshot and his skin pale. His hair was unkempt and it was clear he hadn't rested for a while.
“Please...can I just come in?”
I nodded and stepped aside for him to enter. The distasteful odor of sweat and stale alcohol wafted into my nostrils as he walked past me and over to the couch. He slumped down and immediately dropped his head forward into his hands. I closed the door and walked over to sit beside him.
Placing a hand on his back I rubbed gently. “What the hell happened, Six?”
He turned to face me. “Um... Cain's been shot... He...he may not make it, Chloe. He's...he's in a really bad way.” And with that his lower lip began to tremble as tears spilled over from his red rimmed eyes.
I gasped and moved to put my arms around him but he crumpled into my lap, burying his head into my stomach and clinging to me as if his life depended on it. A pain filled sob vibrated through his body and salt water welled in my eyes too. I had never seen him like this. He wasn't the type to show emotion but this was clearly breaking him in two. My tough, six foot plus wall of muscle and tattoos was reduced to a little boy right before my eyes.
I stroked his hair, trying my best to comfort him but not really knowing what to do. What to say. Eventually he sat up and wiped his face roughly with his palms.
“Fuck. Sorry about that. I don't usually do that. I guess I'm just so wound up about everything. I just can't deal with all the shit that's happened over the last year.”
I shook my head and reached out to squeeze his arm. “No need to apologize, Six. Look, why don't you go take a shower and I'll make you something to eat.”
He chuckled and smiled. “Trying to tell me I stink?”
I cringed but couldn't help returning his smile. “A little.”
His shoulders juddered as he laughed. It was a wonderful sound after what I had witnessed only moments before. He tucked his greasy hair behind his ears. “Okay, well better go get cleaned up then, huh?” He stood and shrugged out of his leather cut and jacket, dropping them onto the couch where he had been sitting.
He began to walk toward the bathroom but stopped just as he passed me. “Thanks Chloe. I know I've been a total dickweed to you and I'm truly sorry. Thanks for being a friend tonight.” He squeezed my shoulder and walked through the door to the bathroom.
A friend. The word sounded strange when speaking about Six and I. The amazing sexual chemistry that we had always shared didn't feel the same. Perhaps he had finally given up and decided to let me move on. But could I deal with having him in my life as a friend? That was the question.
♥♥♥
Around twenty minutes later he appeared in the kitchen doorway where I stood preparing him a cold cuts sandwich. I could sense him before I saw him, but when I turned around I almost swallowed my tongue. He was standing there in his jeans, no shirt, no socks. His hair wet and slicked back from his shower. The fly of his jeans was open and I could see that he wasn't wearing any underwear. I heard him laugh and I lifted my eyes to connect with him.
“Why, Chloe dancer are you ogling my body?”
His fake southern belle accent made me giggle. “Haven't heard that name in a while.”
His smiled disappeared. “Well I don't suppose I can call you it any more really.”
I shrugged. “Oh I don't know. I kinda liked it.”
His demeanor brightened. “You did?”
I chewed my lip. “Kinda.”
We shared a definite moment where the chemistry between us smouldered like a flickering ember. But he broke the spell when he cleared his throat.
He pointed to the plate on the counter top. “So, is that my sandwich?”
I turned and inhaled deeply to calm my jangling nerves and I handed him the plate.
He picked up the sandwich and took a huge bite. A groan erupted from his chest and his eyes rolled back. “Fuck me. Almost better than sex,” he moaned with a mouth full of bread and ham.
“Urgh, you are truly disgusting.”
He winked. “And baby you know it.” He swallowed and gave me his panties melting grin. My heart stuttered in my chest and I covered my reaction with shake of my head and a roll of my eyes.
♥♥♥
We sat in the living room as he ate his food and once he had finished he washed it down with the coffee I had made for him.
He cleared his throat. “So, how's it going with...um...Zak?” he asked without making eye contact.
Why the hell is he asking me? What good will it do? “Oh...fine...thanks for asking.” And please let that be the end of the conversation.
“He treating you right?”
I sighed. It was not a topic I wanted to discuss with my ex. “Yes. It's all good.”
He lifted his head and suddenly made intense, penetrating eye contact. “All good?”
I knew exactly what he was getting at. But he didn't need to know anything about my sexual relationship with Zak...or lack thereof. “Yes. All good,” I repeated. “We have things in common you know? He has no dad...” My words trailed off as that snippet of information seemed to be all I could think of.
He nodded and pulled his lips in between his teeth. He was clearly unhappy about my response and a twinge of guilt tugged at me for lying through omission about our relationship status.
Eventually he spoke again. “I'm happy that you're happy, Chloe. I really am. You deserve to be. And you deserve someone who isn't involved in all kinds of twisted shit. So... I wish you well.”
His words seemed so final and caused my insides to knot. I had to fight the growing urge to slide into his lap and hold him close to me one last time and admit the truth.
His voice dragged me from my reverie. “You know... I used to love watching you dance. And...not because of the sexual aspect. Well not just because of that.” I glanced over at him to see him smile sadly. “I always said you could have been... you know...like...in a show. A professional gig and all. You're more than good enough.”
“That's really kind of you. Thank you, Six.”
“Hey, I mean it. You're so graceful.”
That wasn't a word I ever expected to fall from his lips and I suddenly felt my cheeks heating. “Really?”
His caramel eyes widened with enthusiasm. “Really. Chloe, you have this air about you. Something...superior but not...not in a conceited way, if you know what I mean?”
I shook my head. “No, I'm afraid I don't.”
He sighed, and ran his hands through his damp hair, clearly exasperated with himself. “I mean... shit... You're too good for The Fox Hub. Too good for the library.” He moved his face and gazed into my eyes once again. “Too good for me.”
“Six, I—”
“Would you dance for me once more?”
Huh? I stared at him in disbelief. “What? Here?”
He nodded slowly, keeping his eyes focused on me. “Here. One last time.” He moved closer to me and reached out for my hand. My fingers were swallowed up in his rough palm and he smoothed his thumb over my knuckles. “Look, Chloe, I know I've lost you. I lost you before I even had you. You and I are from completely different worlds. I was dumb to ever expect anything different. And...if I'm going to have to let you go permanently, would you dance for me one more time? Please? I...I don't mean in a sexual way. Nothing like that. I just... I want to see you dance again.”
His eyes sparkled and at that moment my heart shattered into a million tiny pieces. He was willing to let me go and it almost broke me. I swallowed hard as I kept my focus on him, trying hard not to let my emotions run free and I nodded.