Taurus North Node People

and North Node in the 2nd House

image

SPECIAL GIFTS THEY BRING TO RELATIONSHIPS

image           Psychological depth

image           Sensitivity to the circumstances of others

image           Eagerness to support others

image           A powerful spirit

image           A natural team player

image           The potential to create financial abundance

image           A willingness to invest in others


MISCONCEPTIONS THAT BLOCK INTIMACY

image           “My relationships work when I pour all my energy into supporting the other person.”

image           “Supporting my partner means getting involved in helping them make their decisions.”

image           “I need to be in a relationship in order to survive.”

image           “I’m safer if I ignore my boundaries and give beyond my comfort zone.”

image           “Others don’t realize how valuable I am to them.”

image           “If I reveal my needs, others may not respond in a positive way.”

image           “It’s okay for me to buy what I want now and pay for it later.”

image           “Others don’t care enough about me to tune in to where I’m coming from.”


COMPLAINTS OF THEIR PARTNERS

image           “They’re always having some kind of a crisis.”

image           “I can’t trust them to respect my values.”

image           “They are very judgmental.”

image           “They use intimidation to gain control.”

image           “They’re extreme in the ways they deal with money.”

image           “They feel entitled to be treated in a certain way.”


Maintaining Healthy Boundaries

One way that boundaries are defined in relationships is by the amount of time and energy exchanged. Taurus North Node people are out of touch with their boundaries due to many past incarnations where they deliberately overlooked their own needs in order to wholeheartedly support others. So in this lifetime they tend to yield too easily to supporting their partner in developing their gifts and values at the expense of what the native feels is important. Intellectually, they know better than to spend time, energy, or money beyond their limits, and yet they continue to do it again and again.

Eventually, the native starts to feel like they’ve lost themselves in the process of taking care of everyone else. Then they feel resentful and may suddenly just withdraw their support. This causes the other person—who doesn’t understand what’s going on—to feel shut out and alienated. They are learning about the proper use of boundaries and the importance of letting the other person know their limits: “I can be here to support you for an hour, and then I need to go.” In this way the other person can become more aware of them as an individual and more appreciative of the time and energy the native gives to them. And the native won’t be so likely to feel as if there’s “no end” to the other person’s needs.

Another block to intimacy in Taurus North Node people’s relationships is their subconscious notion of “ownership” over the other person. Whether it’s their child, lover, friend, or business partner, they tend to become enmeshed and lose their sense of self. They think: “What I invest my energy in and make successful should be mine.” And this is correct ONLY in terms of business or personal projects, not people! But when they see the potential for success in someone, they can’t seem to help putting all of their energy into helping that person become successful and wealthy. Due to their subconscious issues with self-worth and boundaries, they often do this without any written or verbal understanding. So the other person may get all the fame and financial rewards, for something that succeeded—in great part—due to the native’s efforts. The native thinks the other person should be loyal to them and give back to them in some way, and if the person they supported doesn’t see it that way, they feel betrayed.

When the native is supporting their partner’s success their focus is totally on them. They put their own needs on the back burner, not insisting on the reciprocity that is an intrinsic part of any healthy relationship. Instead, they tend to play the whole relationship out in their heads and decide what they are entitled to have once their partner has reached their goal. And then if they don’t get it, rather than communicate and work it out with the other person, they just shut down. Their partner doesn’t understand why the native has distanced themselves—they didn’t know that the native’s support came with a hidden price tag. The results of this dynamic are anger, resentment, and distancing for both people, because the process of the relationship isn’t honest. The Taurus North Node person denies their needs in the moment, and then demands that they be met in a specific way later on. And then, whether their partner meets their needs or not, they cannot experience true intimacy because the natural reciprocal process that can be created when needs are expressed AS THEY ARISE has been circumvented.

Our true boundaries are not a mental construct. They are innate, and are actually felt as an urge within the body that lets us know whether or not we feel comfortable in a particular situation. For most of us, stretching beyond our “comfort zone” is a requirement for personal and spiritual growth. But for Taurus North Node people this process is reversed. They tend to feel safer when they discount their own comfort and ignore their boundaries. It may even feel very frightening for them to remain aware of their comfort zone and stay within it, but it is through that process that growth can occur. And in this lifetime, it is an absolute necessity if their relationships are to succeed. So if they feel uncertain in a situation, they need to slow down, take a deep breath, and wait until they know if they are comfortable with the timing and level of reciprocity that is unfolding. In this incarnation, there’s no rush, they have plenty of time—and if they stay within the parameters of where they feel good about themselves, they will know they are on track.

Taurus North Node people know when their boundaries are being trespassed—they feel frustrated, fatigued, uncomfortable, and unsettled. In this state there can be no intimacy because they can’t risk being vulnerable at the deepest level. They fear other people will continue to violate their boundaries, and since they don’t know how to stop that process they shut everyone out and end up feeling alienated. The native thinks that others don’t care whether or not they feel comfortable, but this is because they don’t express their needs so that others can accommodate them.

Everyone wants to be comfortable. However, these natives tend to be more concerned with the comfort of others—which they can’t really control—and neglect taking responsibility for creating what they need to feel comfortable. Subconsciously they think: “If I feel comfortable, someone’s going to ask me to do something. Then they’re more comfortable, but my comfort has gone out the window.” For example, a Taurus North Node client was reading her book, finally comfortable after her long day. Then her husband came in: “What’s for dinner?”—and her son: “Hey, Mom, help me build this!” So she immediately jumped up and responded to their needs at the expense of her need to have a little time to relax.

The dynamics of this scenario block intimacy, because again the interaction isn’t honest. Truthfully, the native wanted to enjoy her own comfort, but instead of saying anything, she took care of her family and—once again—felt resentful. Others don’t sense the resentment because the native covers it up. Intimacy is thwarted because the native has set it up for everything to be all about the other people.

A good experiment for these natives would be to set time limits that include what they need to feel comfortable. For instance, if my client is relaxing and someone says: “Can we do this?” she could say: “Sure! I need another fifteen minutes (or an hour—whatever her real needs are) for myself, and then we’ll do your thing!” This validates to the other person the importance of the native’s comfort and points out that they also have individual needs. And it opens the door for intimacy to be created because the other person appreciates the native more. They think: “There’s a person over there! And she’s willing to come and help me when she gets through with what she needs to do!”

Reconnecting with a Sense of Self-Worth

Taurus North Node people generally aren’t aware that anything about them is inherently valuable. This “blind spot” was created by many past lives where they were so focused on how brightly ANOTHER person was shining that they lost sight of their own light. They developed a pattern of seeing their partner’s talents, investing all their energy into demonstrating that person’s worth to society, and neglecting to nurture their own inner spark. Also, from being so focused on promoting their partner, they began discounting their own personal values. They allowed what society valued—and what brought material gain—to eclipse their inner sense of what was truly important. Over time, they became disconnected from their own values and actually began BELIEVING that what society values really is what’s important.

From these repeated past life experiences, these people have lost touch with their sense of self-worth and the inner voice that tells them what’s truly worthwhile. Until this pattern is resolved, it emerges again in this incarnation as a block to creating happy relationships. For one thing, they tend to think that for any relationship to succeed, they must focus on supporting their partner. This blocks intimacy because underneath the native knows they are disrespecting themselves by giving so much to their partner—and they are—when they don’t also reveal their own needs. They just assume that their choice is to partner with someone and be responsible for meeting their needs, or to not have a partner. So rather than following their own natural attraction and finding what they need for personal fulfillment, they usually choose a partner whose needs they think they can fulfill without expending too much energy.

These folks often come to conclusions without the other person even being aware of this process. The native may not allow for their input or explore how together they might structure the relationship to be mutually satisfying. For example, one client—a professional business woman—became involved with a Taurus North Node man, and there was a powerful, mutual attraction on all levels. However, when he was approached by a secretary in his office, he chose the secretary, since he felt he could satisfy her needs and wasn’t sure he was “worthy” of my client. This all came out later—he didn’t share his thoughts with her at the time.

People in this nodal group also experience insecurity when they go out of their way to let the other person know how important and special they are, and their partner doesn’t reciprocate. Then the native begins to doubt their worth to that person and pulls back. For example, the husband of a Taurus North Node client noticed that his wife was distant, and asked what was wrong. She said: “I went through all the Valentine’s cards in the store to find just the right one. And when I gave it to you, you just said: ‘Thanks. I’ll read it later when I have my glasses.’—and you went to sleep.” In her eyes, he was discounting her value to him, and it damaged her sense of self-worth. Another client with this nodal position had a significant other who didn’t do anything special for her on Valentine’s Day because, he said, “It’s too commercial.” For both of these natives, their partners are not meeting needs that are important to them.

If the native doesn’t say anything, others just assume that they will continue going out of their way to show their love and support—and may never acknowledge them. Then the native isn’t sure if the other person even recognizes their contribution. Just a few words of appreciation would mean so much, and when their partners don’t validate them, it undermines their confidence. Of course, no one asked the native to give so excessively, and they never make it clear to their partner what they need in return.

So again, it’s the “hidden price tag,” and when the other person doesn’t “pay up,” the native shuts down. This reaction blocks intimacy because, to their partner, the native has suddenly become cold and distant and they don’t know why, so they pull back as well. These people are learning that in this lifetime their destiny is to risk asserting their own needs in their relationships and to “train” the other person to satisfy them. And when they do, it makes their lives—and their partners’ lives—much happier and more fulfilling.

For their relationships to be successful, Taurus North Node people are learning to take responsibility for strengthening their sense of self-worth and reconnecting with their own personal values. They can accomplish this by focusing on the people and activities that bring them inner feelings of satisfaction. Rather than compare themselves with others, their “right path” is in the direction of whatever brings them comfort and fulfillment. Whether it’s cooking, walking in nature, planting a garden, hanging out with their best friend—it is correct if it evokes inner contentment. On some level it is filling their personal needs, strengthening their core, and reestablishing their sense of self-worth.

The next step for these people is to make sure they set aside enough time to engage in these pursuits—time when they use their energy solely for themselves. Regardless of how busy they are, it’s absolutely essential for the health of their primary relationships that they block out at least half a day every week when they only nurture themselves. When they create this boundary by making themselves important and devoting time to themselves, it strengthens them in every area of their life. Then they will be able to connect more intimately with others because they won’t only be depending on their partner to meet their needs, and they won’t feel so resentful if they don’t get exactly what they want from them.

It is also essential for these natives to start setting limits on how much time and energy they give to others. Their compulsive drive to “shore up the leaks” for their partner not only drains Taurus North Node people of their energy, it also disempowers the other person by robbing them of the independence they need to build their own inner strength. So another benefit of increasing their sense of self-worth by setting personal boundaries is that those around them will become more autonomous as well. For example, when they say: “I can’t help you until 2 P.M. because I take Friday mornings for myself,” the other person not only sees them more clearly, they gain a clearer picture of themselves too. They realize that they can’t just assume that the native will always take care of them because the native is a person with their own needs.

Respecting Others’ Values

In past lives, Taurus North Node people were accustomed to having a Soul Mate, so now whenever they bond with someone—a lover, spouse, child, or business partner—they give 100 percent to support that person being successful. And they can be a powerful ally in helping others make their dreams come true, because they understand society’s values and how to win in that arena. However, in their past incarnations they “sold out” to society’s values so many times that now they don’t take personal values into account—their own or others’. They just assume that the other person wants the things that society labels as “success,” and push them to succeed in that direction. In fact, they think that adhering to society’s values is the only safe way to exist in the world.

If the native has children, they tend to overbond with them and put their full energy into making them successful in the eyes of society. Perhaps the child is musically gifted and wants to be a singer. But because the Taurus North Node parent doesn’t understand the process of first discovering what is innately valuable to the other person and then helping them develop their talents, if the child is also good at math, they may try to turn them into an accountant—or some other artificially imposed role that will ensure society’s approval and monetary gain. In this way they run roughshod over others and their “support” often creates opposition rather than gratitude and cooperation.

In fact, Taurus North Node people tend to invalidate any values other than those THEY think are legitimate—i.e., society’s approval and monetary reward. This can be particularly hurtful to those who are close. If a loved one is interested in something that to the native doesn’t seem like a viable way to earn money or gain status, the native can be strongly judgmental, or even combative. This is a serious block to intimacy because others can’t trust the native to respect their values. Rather than feeling accepted for who they are, the other person feels they are constantly being judged.

The Taurus North Node person may even put someone down or make fun of them if they don’t agree with their values. It can be very psychologically subversive. They may also urge the other person to openly share themselves and their values, and then try to show them that their values don’t hold water. Naturally, the other person defends their values, so conflict is created. Eventually, others will no longer risk revealing themselves to the native because they get tired of having their feelings ignored and their ideas rejected. The other person feels they have to pull back so they can redefine who they are in their own eyes. So the native ends up creating distance in the very relationships that are most important to them. If the other person had felt accepted and understood, the results could have been rapport and intimacy instead of anger and mistrust.

Another way that this fixation on society’s standards creates difficulty in their relationships is that they want others to treat them according to how they think society defines their “role”—father, friend, lover, child, etc. The native believes they are entitled to feel the way they want the other person to make them feel when performing their role “correctly.” For instance: “Children should do well in school and make their parents feel proud.” Or: “Men should spend a lot of money on their girlfriends so they will feel valued.” Then, if the other person doesn’t treat them this way, the native takes it personally and creates distance in the relationship.

All these issues stem from Taurus North Node’s underlying “magical belief” that if they totally support the other person, then everything will work out the way they want it to. However, by imposing the values that guide THEIR life on those who are close, they cross the boundaries of the other person. They seldom even ask their partner what they want. The native just “helps them” make decisions, in alignment with what the native thinks is important, and then puts all their time and energy into supporting that decision. And it never works. Even if the other person is happy with the results—i.e., the job change, new location, etc.—they will tell the native that the only reason they did it was because the native wanted it. And if they’re NOT happy with the result, they blame the native, who feels responsible.

When the native becomes so intimately involved in their partner’s process, they rush the other person into making a decision before that person can get in touch with what it is they really want. The native’s partner doesn’t appreciate it and doesn’t feel supported. In fact, from their perspective, they are actually supporting what the native wants them to do or be. They feel like the native owes them, not vice versa, while at the same time the native feels like they have given so much and are never acknowledged.

This dynamic defeats intimacy in their relationships because the other person can’t trust that the native won’t bulldoze them into making a decision that isn’t really what THEY want. And sometimes people just want to do their own thing—they may not want everything to always involve their partner. So before investing a lot of time and energy, Taurus North Node people are learning to first discover and respect what their partner wants to create in the situation, and how that person wants to express their talents and abilities. This means giving them time to discover what they inherently value, and being open to what they want.

These folks are learning to ask their partner: “How can I support you?” Then when they give their support, they will create positive energy as well as results that make both people happy. Their help will be truly valued by their partner, and cooperation, intimacy, and heartfelt appreciation will be the results.

And in the process of listening to their partner share their own personal innate values, the native will be able to see how their partner’s internal values are an intrinsic part of what they are interested in, who they were designed to be, and their instinctive needs for personal and spiritual growth. In this way the Taurus North Node person will have the opportunity to better understand the process that they need to follow in order to reconnect with their own inherent values on a Soul level—and to put their life force into growing in that direction in this lifetime.

Overcoming Crisis Orientation

Taurus North Node people create crises in their lives that could easily be avoided. On an unconscious level, they do this to demonstrate their power—like a person who starts a fire so they can run in and save someone. It’s a way for them to get the recognition they feel they never get from others. Whether they’re the rescuer in moments of crisis or the person in crisis, either way it keeps everything revolving around them for a change. Everyone expends energy to help them during the “crisis,” as opposed to their modus operandi of using all of their energy to support others.

In addition to their addiction to crisis, these people also block intimacy by creating unnecessary friction in their relationships. Particularly in the area of the other person’s profession, the native tends to push their partner in the direction they think will bring the greatest social and monetary rewards. For instance, if a Taurus North Node father has a son who wants to be a veterinarian, he may try to convince him to go into computers to make more money. The son will naturally rebel to maintain his own identity, which creates distance in their relationship.

These people may also maintain a crisis environment by partnering with someone whose life is in constant crisis. This has the same effect of preventing intimacy because everyone is busy handling the crisis instead of relating to one another on a personal level. They are learning the value of choosing the path of “comfort and ease,” over the path of “crisis.”

Taurus North Node people also tend to be secretive and only share with others selectively—telling them only what they want them to know. There’s a separateness, an aloofness, because they have a protective shell around them and are on “high alert” at all times. They’re so afraid of letting someone in who might hurt and betray them that their guard is never down. They’re calculating—even on the most minute level—what to do, how to do it, and what the results will be. They are learning to just “go with it” and accept things at face value.

The dynamics of mistrust block intimacy in their relationships because the other person has a tough time feeling close to the native. The native doesn’t reveal themselves, which makes their partner afraid to reveal himself or herself. Others don’t feel comfortable—that they can just “be” without the native doing something that creates crisis and separation. Those who are close can’t feel intimacy because they’re always busy trying to fix the current crisis. In addition, the constant crisis distracts others from the things they want to do—it’s exhausting.

So a lot of energy gets wasted and the other person feels drained. They don’t have any energy to give to the native to create positive outcomes. Subconsciously, the native is trying to build self-worth by having others validate how powerful they are. So when the other person resists their attempts to forcibly change what’s going on, they feel unappreciated and resentful, and begin withholding Love. As a result of these dynamics, each person begins to resent and blame the other for the same reason: They feel it’s the other person’s fault that they’re feeling so spent, unnurtured, and unsupported.

Taurus North Node people also create drama as a distraction from dealing with their own inner complexities. In a crisis, they display their level of mistrust in negative thoughts: “This person is going to betray me…that person is going to hurt me…” They create crisis in the outside world as a way to interact with their powerful unresolved emotions on a secondary level—outside themselves. It’s like they’re trying to learn how to deal with their internal feelings by creating external crises that they can face and handle. Ultimately, the idea is for them to turn inward and deal directly with these intense issues, which include unresolved past life betrayals.

Lifetimes when they supported another who tricked them or betrayed them in some way has led to a seething inner rage and constant fear of an unexpected betrayal—which is why they are so self-protective. It may have been that they innocently fed all their power to someone they trusted to be operating from a high level of integrity and noble ideals, and when that person became powerful they used their power to harm others. In this way the native would have inadvertently been part of something that went against their own ideals and values, and they lost their sense of self-worth. Past life regression therapy could be great for the people of this nodal group. By allowing memories from their subconscious to come to the surface and be dealt with, they can release their many layers of inner tension.

Gaining Financial Power

Taurus North Node people subconsciously equate their financial survival with developing and supporting their partner’s talents. They don’t think that anything about THEM personally is valuable, or that they know how to make money themselves. So if their partner leaves, they fear that they can’t make it on their own. As a result, they may interact with some partners in unhealthy ways. For example, they may allow their parents or their ex to interfere in their life for fear that without the other’s financial support they might not be able to survive.

These people definitely have issues around money. For one thing, they are convinced that making money requires a team effort, and that they can’t build financial security alone. However, the fact is that this nodal group has more innate gifts for accumulating money than most others. But due to past lives where they depended on their partners, they are not aware of their financial power. There’s a place inside of everyone that contains the gift of “making money and becoming wealthy.” These people have overlooked this place in so many past incarnations that they don’t even know it’s there. But once they rediscover it, they’ll find that they have an incredible ability to create wealth.

Those with this nodal position usually also resist taking responsibility for the practical, monetary side of life. For example, they can spend money they don’t have, or spend more than makes sense—past the boundaries of what they feel comfortable with after the fact. Debt and credit cards can be a problem for them. They’re willing to get what they want now and deal with it later, which is one way they create crisis in their life. Even when they make more money, all that happens is that their standard of living rises, along with their debt. In fact, it’s not uncommon for them to make an enormous amount of money at some point and just burn through it.

Subconsciously, these folks often try to make their partner responsible for the money—i.e., they lose the bank statements, can’t seem to balance a checkbook, etc. They think their financial problems will end when they get married, trusting that the other person will somehow take care of any debt. For instance, a Taurus North Node client moved in with her boyfriend, who had a $40,000-a-year job. They were so excited they went out and bought a big screen TV and many other luxuries—all on her credit card. In past lives she was used to rich husbands who took care of all the bills, and she spent as if someone else was going to pay for it. She ended up leaving the relationship and all the “stuff,” but was still responsible for her credit card debt.

Although this dynamic was appropriate in past incarnations, in this lifetime it’s only when they take charge of their own money that they can begin to regain their independence and a healthy sense of self-worth. But until they learn this lesson, they continue to be outrageously extravagant and may need others to bail them out when they can’t take care of daily necessities. Their irresponsibility with money creates an energy that drains those around them. Others are diverted from focusing on their own affairs by attempting to “save” the native from their latest crisis.

These people also tend to blame others for their lack of financial stability. For instance, I had a client whose Taurus North Node ex-husband always said: “My divorce ruined me financially.” In fact, they had split all of their financial assets 50/50, but in his mind he still blamed my client for his money problems. And their carelessness with money undermines their relationships because their partners are afraid to merge their finances. They can’t trust the native to be responsible with money, which supports the physical survival of the partnership. This leads their partner to think that the native doesn’t have their best interests at heart—they won’t watch out for them by being financially responsible.

Financial irresponsibility also blocks intimacy because it creates chronic underlying tension. Knowing they’ve got outstanding debts, the native can’t really be fully present and close with their partner because they’re constantly worried and preoccupied. Also, it may be that their partner has gotten used to the flow of spending, and if it stops, they may not be very understanding. On a deep psychological level, this dynamic serves as a way for Taurus North Node people to create some sense of boundaries. Because there’s always a part of them stressed out about money, that part is held back from being fully enmeshed with the other person. It’s like a technique that unconsciously helps them learn how to start setting boundaries.

So when these people begin consciously constructing healthy boundaries—by setting aside time for themselves, letting others know their needs as they arise, and building reciprocity in their relationships—they will naturally cease to create money crises. When they gain a healthy sense of independence from others, they will no longer need to have subconscious, self-sabotaging behaviors around money to provide some sense of separation. And although the native resents the fact that they have to deal with money at all, learning how to handle it successfully will bring an emotionally soothing sense of comfort and stability to their life.

Relinquishing Manipulation and Intimidation

Taurus North Node people often use subtle forms of manipulation or coercion in order to get their way. They have a deep and accurate understanding of the psychologies of others, and use the tactic they think will best help them gain control in each situation. With one person they might decide that getting really angry might help them win. If they think that by being intellectual they would gain power over another, that’s what they’ll use. They switch their approach according to the circumstances, and share information with others in a strategic way. However, even though this may work on an external level, internally they will not feel satisfied with the results. In this lifetime they are learning to present their plans openly so that others have a clear choice about whether or not they agree and want to participate.

If these people are in a situation where they feel powerless, they may overcompensate with rage or other strong emotions in an attempt to intimidate the other person so that they will withdraw. Although this reaction is appropriate in a life-threatening situation, it is not acceptable behavior in close relationships. Taurus North Node people feel “entitled” to be treated in a certain way according to their values, and when this doesn’t happen, they can be abusive. This is almost always verbal abuse aimed at bringing the other person into line. The native may not even be aware of it, because this “bully response” stems from their unconscious lack of boundaries.

They may also use psychological intimidation to gain power and they know just what buttons to push. For example, one client had a boyfriend with this nodal position who had been living with her and her daughter for several months. When she tried to talk to him about her feeling that things weren’t working out, he would always put her off by focusing on how hard a breakup would be on her daughter. And he said: “It would be a shame if anything happened to her as a result.” He knew that my client’s greatest fear was for her daughter’s safety. And while his tactics did keep her in the relationship a while longer, she hated him for it and kept her distance.

In an intimate relationship, manipulation and intimidation are out of place and they certainly block intimacy. The other person feels betrayed, and angry with themselves for allowing the native to get away with it. They think: “What’s wrong with me? I should be stronger.” But the truth is that when these people annoy or frighten someone long enough, they usually give in—and the native knows it. To avoid their destructive reactions, those who are close usually either “go along” or else flat-out lie to the native. It can be the only way to get away from the negative energy.

Due to unresolved past life issues of betrayal, these people also have a tough time forgiving. Others feel that if they wrong the native even once, that’s the end. They just don’t let things go. In fact, when they perceive that another has wronged them, they may label that person a certain way, and then collect evidence to justify their position. Once this occurs, there’s no way the other person can open up the channel of Love again. Others feel that there’s no hope since nothing they do makes a difference, and eventually they give up.

This dynamic occurs because if these people trust someone and that person betrays them, it triggers a seething rage. It’s a bottom-line survival issue and they experience absolute terror and rage inside. They’re afraid to let it out, and keeping it under wraps means that they are in protection mode all the time. So they are very discriminating about who they allow to become close, and just how close they allow each person to be.

Taurus North Node people are terrified of losing control and releasing intense destructive energy. And since the rage is emanating from unresolved past life experiences, subconsciously they believe that resolution or healing isn’t possible. But when they consciously channel that energy into building something they feel is worthwhile, the pressure can naturally express in a controlled manner. Then the native can direct that energy in ways that make them feel good about themselves. It’s the difference between turning a faucet on full blast so it erodes the earth, or attaching a hose to it and using it to gently water a garden.

Succeeding in Sexually Intimate Relationships

Due to significant issues regarding their sense of self-worth, Taurus North Node people often maintain a veil of secrecy, thinking that being mysterious makes them more attractive. They believe if they reveal themselves and really let the other person get to know them that their partner may not think they’re good enough. And regardless of how handsome/beautiful or gifted they are, these people don’t think they can survive without their partner.

Yet feeling dependent on another also makes them feel weak, and unconsciously they often begin to resent the other person. They have the belief that they must pour all of their energy into their partner for the relationship to work. But when they give without any limits, it further diminishes their sense of self-worth and creates even more resentment.

These people think they are empowering their partner, but when they compromise their own needs to fulfill their partners’ needs, the truth is that they are enabling them to not take responsibility for creating a reciprocal relationship. It doesn’t occur to their partner to give back if the native never lets them know what they need. As a result, over time their partner becomes insensitive to their needs, and the native ends up feeling taken advantage of because their partner doesn’t validate and take care of them in return. But since it’s never stated, when the native “punishes” their partner by pulling away, the other person doesn’t understand why. And even if their partner responds by giving to them, the native feels like they’re just appeasing them rather than demonstrating true caring. The native thinks that by distancing themselves they can avoid conflict, but if these issues are not resolved, they just keep creating more problems.

These people understand that bonded relationships are meant to be reciprocal, but they have the idea that if two people love each other they will just automatically take care of each other’s needs—and it doesn’t work that way. Successful, healthy relationships require a lot of feedback, vigilance, and constant mutual adjustment. The native wants to receive sensitivity, love, and support back from their partner without having to ask for it. But this can only manifest through their willingness to train the other person how to be the reciprocal partner they seek. It’s when they take responsibility for making sure that their own needs are met that the energy they’re longing for comes back to them.

For instance, it’s important to most Taurus North Node people that they and their partner exchange concrete expressions of their value to each other. So they have to share this information and set it up with their partner so this need gets met. Internally, this can feel like a catch-22, because Taurus North Node people also think that if they state their needs directly, the other person will leave. And since they believe they need their partner to survive, they may compromise themselves to keep a relationship going, even if it isn’t meeting their needs and their boundaries are being violated. Often their anger and resentment have to build to the point where they decide “I don’t care if they leave” before these people will risk revealing their true needs and boundaries. They are learning that if they never ask for what they need, they’ll never get it.

In healthy intimate relationships, one person doesn’t just adapt to the other—both must reveal their needs for true bonding to occur. These people are learning that just because they are psychically attuned to others doesn’t mean that their partner has the same ability. As long as the native just expects their partner to know how to support them, they will continue to feel disappointed. The key to successful relationships for this nodal group is to clearly define their boundaries so their partner can become more aware of their needs. The idea is to be willing to teach the other person about reciprocity and the process of mutual awareness and sensitivity.

For example, a Taurus North Node client was in crisis because her mother was dying. She was spending every day taking care of her mom and supporting her dad. Exhausted, she returned home one night and her husband said, “Well, are you going to spend some time here?” She replied that she needed emotional support in the situation instead of her family just wanting more from her. The husband’s response was: “We’re trying to do what we can”—he really didn’t know what she needed.

These natives are learning to be more specific about what they need, to define exactly how they want their partner to support them. For instance, my client might have said, “When I come home each night, I want you to give me a big hug. Then I need you and the kids to prepare dinner while I take an hour for myself. And after dinner, I want us to spend some time together as a family.” When these people own their needs and take responsibility for integrating them into their relationships, it works. They get back the energy they need from their partner, which opens the door for intimacy to be created.

Another issue is that Taurus North Node people want their partner to be more ambitious and excel according to society’s standards. They don’t just accept their partner for who they are. They tend to twist and manipulate things to make what THEY want for their partner look like the best thing for them. Naturally, this blocks intimacy because when their partner is continually pushed into things, after a while they start feeling disempowered and resentful. They may start fighting back—which can take the form of not doing anything.

When this happens the native is shocked because it seems like the other person has suddenly changed—but they’re simply refusing to be manipulated anymore. This dynamic is a formula for disaster, especially in a sexually intimate relationship. A partner who feels manipulated and discounted won’t want to share physical affection. Their libido may even begin to dissipate because they feel impotent in their life. So if these people want a happy sex life, they need to stop draining their partner’s power by thinking they know what’s best for them.

Tension also occurs in their primary relationships when Taurus North Node people become so overidentified with their partner that they don’t have any sense of separation or privacy. Sometimes they even feel entitled to investigate their partner’s life in outrageous ways—by reading their journal, listening to their phone conversations, etc. Part of this issue stems from their past life memories of betrayal. On an unconscious level they are driven to understand the deep motives of others in order to try to avoid betrayal in this lifetime. Also, because the native gives excessively to the other person, they feel justified in taking from them without considering what’s appropriate or what the other person wants to give. The native thinks: “I gave you all my resources and energy, so now you should give me all that you have.” But in reality, life doesn’t work that way.

These people are learning to mitigate their giving in a way that is more balanced with their own needs, so when they do give, there are no strings attached. Until they become willing to do this, they will continue to think there’s always something else they need in order to feel validated by their partner. It’s a bottomless pit. And the other person feels inadequate because they can’t fill the native’s needs—it would cost them their own identity. What the native is really looking for is to be forced to maintain their own boundaries by a partner who is as strong—or stronger—than they are and who refuses to become enmeshed with them.

All of these unhealthy dynamics block intimacy. The ongoing psychological battle drains both partners of the energy they need to satisfy each other’s basic need to be nurtured by physical affection, so they miss out on feeling close and enjoying the sensual beauty of life.

Taurus North Node people are learning to avoid creating negative energy in their relationships and find ways of relating that allow the other person to feel understood and validated. This will open the door for their partner to reciprocate by being more aware of wanting to pamper the native and satisfy their needs. And when the native makes this shift, they are among the best of love partners since they are naturally curious about the psychology of others, desire emotional closeness, and recognize its value. More touching or massage really helps in their intimate relationships.

How Others Can Help Them Heal

Prompt Them to Express Personal Needs

Taurus North Node people are overly focused on the needs of others and tend to discount their own needs. Encourage them to get in touch with—and communicate—their needs in any particular situation. For example, if the room temperature is too warm for them, they may simply endure it, thinking: “Well, everyone else seems to be comfortable.” In these circumstances, encourage them to get in the habit of speaking up: “Is it warm in here, or is it just me?”

Since these people love crisis, if you say: “I realize that letting me know what you need is going to feel to you like ‘living on the edge,’” they are likely to be more willing to try it. And because bonding is so important to them, if you present the challenge of letting their partner know what they need as something that will deepen the bond between them, they will probably take the risk. It’s also helpful to remind these people that if they never ask for what they need, they’ll never get it.

Encourage them to begin verbalizing what they need in order to experience physical comfort, by letting them know that you want them to tell you. Explain that partnerships are give and take, and when they don’t verbalize their needs, they deprive the other person of an opportunity to support them in return. Help them to understand that when they express their own needs, it empowers their relationships because the energy can flow in both directions.

Encourage Them to Stay Within Their Boundaries

These people are learning about boundaries in this lifetime. Encourage them to mitigate their excessive giving in a way that is more balanced with their own needs. Then their giving won’t always have an agenda and a hidden price tag in terms of what they are supposed to get back from the other person. Help them to understand that even if they give everything they have, it doesn’t entitle them to take whatever they want from others.

Remind them to tune in to their “comfort zone” in various situations. In troubling circumstances or when they are distressed, ask them, “What do you need right now in order to feel comfortable?” Their sense of inner comfort is a true barometer of whether or not they are on track for staying within their boundaries. To maintain their balance in terms of giving and receiving, support them in setting aside enough time to nurture themselves by pursuing activities they enjoy and that bring them a sense of contentment, such as music, gardening, or massage.

Stimulate Them to Embrace Financial Responsibility

Becoming conscious about money is essential for Taurus North Node people—it’s the key to their sense of well-being. Due to unconscious past life memories of being taken care of financially by others, in this incarnation they resist being responsible for money. They almost have a disdain for it, which is why they spend without ever considering the future consequences.

Encourage them to see money as their friend, welcoming money and consciously appreciating the money that is coming into their lives. Money is a form of power, and by regularly putting part of their income into a savings account, they will begin building a solid sense of their own power. And this will bring them feelings of comfort and emotional stability. Tell them that by accumulating money in a responsible manner, they will be demonstrating their worth in a concrete way—to themselves and others.

Rather than losing themselves in desiring “more,” encourage them to appreciate what they already have. The energy of conscious appreciation is essential for nurturing their emotional bodies. It can be as simple as being grateful for having a comfortable home, enough food, and people in their life who care about them. And as they learn to be more appreciative of what is in their life they open a channel for more good things to flow to them.

Assist Them in Strengthening Their Sense of Self-Worth

Encourage these people to be interested in themselves—to find out what projects, causes, or activities they feel good about. Once they discover “their thing,” encourage them to focus their intense, internal energy in that direction. They have the innate ability to empower anyone—or any cause—that they consider worthy. Encourage them to empower their own cause and build something for themselves that will enhance their self-esteem.

If they are uncertain about a decision, ask them: “Will doing this increase or diminish your sense of self-worth?” If it is an action that makes them feel better about themselves, encourage them to do it regardless of the outcome. When they experience a social upset, ask them, “What do you need to do to feel good about yourself in this situation?” And once they get in touch with their personal values, encourage them to take that action. It will directly help to strengthen their sense of self-worth.

Influence Them to Be More Accepting of Others

If these people erupt in a judgmental tirade about what someone else is or isn’t doing, help them see that they are upset because that person’s values are different from their own. Point out what the situation has shown them about their own values, and how important being true to their values is to them. The I Ching says that the best way to fight evil is to “make energetic progress in the good,” and this is a positive mantra for Taurus North Node people.

When they become involved in a crisis with another—which is often of their own making—support them in turning their back on the fight and focusing on what will make them feel good about THEMSELVES in the situation. See if they can come up with a practical step they can take independently that will put them on a more constructive path. Help them to get in touch with their own options in the current stage of the situation rather than trying to change the behavior of others.

Habits to Discourage

Discourage crisis: Taurus North Node people have an addiction to crisis situations as a way of getting attention from others and because, on an unconscious level, the adrenaline rush makes them feel alive. But in fact, this dynamic is destructive for all concerned, including themselves. If they become combative with you during one of these episodes, your best bet is to just leave the room and simply refuse to interact with them on a destructive, combative level.

If they follow you, still wanting a fight, just leave the house for a couple of hours without saying a word. This will give them a chance to recognize their bad behavior and notice it is not producing the desired result. Then you can come back in a cheerful mood as though nothing happened. Likely, they will apologize, or at least they will be in a more accommodating mood.


Discourage their preoccupation with others: Due to a lack of awareness of boundaries—theirs and others’—Taurus North Node people tend to become preoccupied with other people’s business. Discourage this. For example, if they are raging about how terrible a neighbor is for cheating on her husband, point out how that just shows that her values are different from the native’s values.

It is helpful to remind them that by being true to their own values and “walking their talk,” they can be a positive example for others, and that what others are doing is none of their business. Encourage them to refocus on how they can constructively use their energy to produce positive results for all concerned—including themselves!


Discourage rage and revenge: These people have so many unresolved past life issues of abandonment and betrayal that in this lifetime, they are quick to assume that someone close to them is going to wrong them. And when their “betrayal mechanism” is triggered, they experience feelings of enormous, intense rage and find it impossible to ever forgive the other person—sometimes even seeking revenge. Discourage this. Interrupt this pattern by encouraging them to risk personal transformation through therapy or past life counseling. This will enable them to understand and come to terms with these emotions, and release the pressure in their subconscious, resolving it through forgiveness.

Discourage them from holding on to their anger, and encourage them to forgive those who they feel have injured them. Here is one process you could suggest: They go into a room alone where they have placed two chairs, facing each other. Sitting in one chair, they close their eyes and imagine the person who has wronged them sitting in the other chair. Then the native can tell the person—silently or out loud—of the injury they experienced, and ask any questions that might help them resolve the issue, listening for the answers in their heart. When they feel complete, they can say: “I forgive you.” Then have them turn to the left and apologize to any soul—either in this life or any past life—whom they may have injured in the same way. What goes around, comes around. The apology completes the cycle and allows the negative energy that was created to dissipate.