Pisces North Node People

and North Node in the 12th House

SPECIAL GIFTS THEY BRING TO RELATIONSHIPS

          An orientation to service

          An analytical mind

          Attentiveness to detail

          Willingness to process issues and change their behavior

          A helpful spirit

          Conscientiousness

          Organizational ability

MISCONCEPTIONS THAT BLOCK INTIMACY

          “If things don’t unfold according to my plan, the results won’t be workable.”

          “Things should always be in order.”

          “There’s a right way of doing things.”

          “If everyone’s performance isn’t perfect, the planned outcome won’t be reached.”

          “If I don’t control my surroundings, something bad will happen.”

          “Others don’t behave properly.”

          “Everyone wants something from me.”

          “When things go wrong, others blame me unjustly.”

COMPLAINTS OF THEIR PARTNERS

          “They can’t handle any form of criticism—they have to be right.”

          “They are overfocused on what is not right.”

          “They are often so tightly wound and anxious that they make me uncomfortable.”

          “They are insensitive to where other people are coming from.”

          “If they get stressed, they panic—they lose control.”

          “They’re so critical—they think they know how everybody else ought to be behaving.”

Healing Self-Sabotaging Patterns of Behavior

Pisces North Node people are learning that their power to create a positive experience in this lifetime lies not in trying to change other people or the external world, but in becoming more aware of their own inner world. If they want to change what they are experiencing in the outer world, they must first become conscious of—and change—the dynamics they are putting into motion. They can only change how others behave toward them by examining the energy they are putting out that is inviting the other person’s response. If they change their behavior toward others, they will naturally evoke a different response in return.

For example, I have a Pisces North Node client who recently started her own Web site. When there were problems and delays, she totally freaked out and began yelling at the Webmaster and hosting services. She was in a constant state of anxiety because something was always “wrong,” and this made the people she was dealing with anxious. Since they never knew when they were going to get yelled at, after a while they stopped returning her calls promptly. Then she started judging their behavior: “They’re not responsible people,” etc.

To shift results, her first step would be to calm down and get in touch with the reality of the situation, which is that in the Web business, technological glitches occur on a regular basis. All the Webmaster’s clients experience these problems—it’s nothing personal. It’s also natural that the clients he responds to first are the ones he most enjoys working with or who pay him the most money. Since my client is on a tight budget, to get the results she wants she needs to take a more diplomatic approach.

Part of this issue stems from their many past incarnations as un-cloistered nuns or priests. It was their job to live among the people to demonstrate holiness and teach others how to behave properly. As a result, in this lifetime they often feel the need to straighten out others’ behavior. But since the past life tape is incorrect for this lifetime, if they speak to others in terms of their behavior—“You should clean up your clothes”—they won’t be able to hear the native. But when they share their vision of what they are trying to create—i.e., “I’d love to create a clean, orderly environment today”—the other person can hear them and will be more inclined to cooperate.

By focusing less on the tangible results they want to create and more on the intangible “causes” they are putting into motion, these people can learn how to affect changes that help to create order and calm in their world. This will also allow them to experience greater personal power, because while they can’t change the behavior of others, they can change their own. One of their lessons this lifetime is to accept that Life just “is” and “what is” doesn’t need to change—only how they adapt to it.

Pisces North Node people often feel that everyone wants something from them, and that others don’t support them in taking downtime to rest and rejuvenate. This is largely due to their overattachment to their image of “being the one who serves.” They have given in to the needs of others so many times that those who are close have come to expect the native’s participation in their lives.

Sometimes the native may not want to help. But if they say they need a break, others may urge: “Oh, come on, we really need you.” Then their desire to live up to others’ expectations and demonstrate “correct” behavior may pull them forward against their own Truth. However, when they take on another’s responsibility at their own expense and feel resentful, it’s a sign that they are “off path” they need to step back and reevaluate the situation.

These people actually love to be of service when they can, and they too easily think that others are taking them for granted. This leads to resentment, which can also drain their energy. In fact, their motive is of key importance in these situations. If they stay focused on their vision—i.e., being of service because they truly want to help—their attitude toward the situation changes, which often shifts their experience into one of joy.

And if they need the other person’s behavior to change so they can enjoy being of service, then it’s their responsibility to say so—but without judgment. For example, rather than: “You should be checking in to see how your child is doing,” they could say: “For me to continue babysitting for you, I need to know you’ll answer your cell phone when I call.”

They are learning to take the focus off of trying to change the behavior of others, and instead to let go, have faith, and expand their acceptance of others’ limitations—as well as their own. This is scary for them, but in this lifetime their job is self-purification by working through their own issues. They need to rise above their unhealthy need to exemplify “perfect behavior” and take responsibility for their own health and well-being—physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual.

These natives are gaining the awareness that they need to keep themselves serene enough to enjoy life. If they don’t, their tightly wound anxiety blocks emotional intimacy with others. Also they tend to go into high-focus, tunnel-vision mode to “get the job done.” But this robs them of letting the magic intervene that can make the journey along the way more fun—for themselves and for those who are close. They are learning to relax.

Rising Above a Subconscious Urge to Be Right and Create Perfect Order

Pisces North Node people have an incredibly strong attachment to being right. Sometimes they can’t even hear what others are saying because they are so rigid in terms of a belief that things are pretty much black and white—and they’re always right. For these natives to admit they were wrong in their original judgment takes a lot.

For example, a client’s Pisces North Node son blamed his mother for everything that led to his parents’ divorce and went to live with his father. After five years, he said to his mother: “I finally understand why it was so hard for you to be with Dad.” It was huge for him to admit that he was wrong about something that was so important to him. These natives do have the potential to change their judgment with enough evidence—but it takes a lot.

They are so invested in being “Mr./Ms. Perfect” that they are always on the alert for any criticism from others. It may seem to them that the other person is watching them—to catch them if they slip up. So if someone says: “You forgot to unplug the coffeepot,” the native freaks out. In past lives as nuns and priests, these natives did have to be perfect, so now when they do something that others perceive as wrong, it really jars them. This is why their reactions to these kinds of simple statements are so exaggerated.

When others blame them, their tendency is to become defensive and get stuck in the blame—both internal and external—rather than working with the other person to fix the problem. They may even make up an elaborate story to prove that leaving the coffeepot plugged in wasn’t their fault (someone else distracted them, etc.). When the other person gets upset, these people are learning to look at the situation objectively and see how they can help resolve it. When they get blamed for something, if they can remember to silently recite the affirmation “All is well and everything is unfolding as it should,” it will give them the mental distance they need to respond appropriately.

A HUGE block to closeness in their relationships is the fact that they are so resistant to input from others. In fact, they are resistant to any input that is not in total alignment with their preconceived notion of how Life ought to be progressing. This comes out of the notion that what they perceive to be “perfect order” IS perfect order. One of their lessons this lifetime is to learn how to relax and be more open to allowing others’ feedback to affect their behavior—to be changed instead of trying to change everyone else.

Even when these natives are stressed over having a great deal to do, their problems are so “big” in their own minds that they think no one could possibly help them. And their “be perfect” script may cause them to panic or react with anger. A client’s Pisces North Node business partner was feeling overwhelmed trying to get their company’s tax forms prepared in time for the IRS deadline. So while she was on vacation, my client got all the paperwork completed as a happy surprise for her partner. But when the native returned, she went ballistic, and started the entire process over from scratch to make sure it was done perfectly. Naturally, this sort of reaction blocks intimacy. The other person feels discounted and helpless—there’s nothing they can do to relieve the native’s constant worry and stress.

Pisces North Node people don’t like not knowing the future. Having a plan they can follow makes them feel secure. The drawback is that when things don’t go according to their plan, it can paralyze them. It’s almost as if they have a superstitious belief that if others don’t follow every detail “perfectly,” the plan won’t work and something bad will happen. Naturally, this creates stress for those around them.

To get the plan to work, the native may start repeatedly telling the other person what they should be doing. They even get tired of hearing themselves say the same thing over and over—and they don’t understand why the person isn’t listening. Usually others just tune out the native because they resent being told what to do, and often their own needs aren’t being met in the situation.

These people are learning that they can’t force others to change their behavior, but they can change their own behavior and the way they are initiating their plan, which will alter the response coming back to them from others. For example, if “the plan” is to spend the afternoon working, and they chastise their child for disrupting them, the child may respond with antagonism and interfere with “the plan” even more. But if the native shifts their own initial behavior—by taking the child’s needs into account and perhaps giving the child a project of their own to do or hiring a babysitter—they can do their work and change the result coming back to them—i.e., the child’s cooperation.

Ultimately, these people are recognizing that they need to let go of all these perceived duties and obligations. Their job is to do what they can, be honest about what they don’t want to do, and trust that the Infinite is in charge of taking care of us all. If their plans are interrupted, they are learning to understand that—for whatever reason—Life has a different plan and they just need to widen their view. Tuning in to themselves, trusting a Higher Power, and being authentic with others is the key to their Soul’s growth in this lifetime.

Freeing Themselves from the Habit of Judging Others

Pisces North Node people often have strict standards of behavior—for both themselves and others. They also believe that their standards are “right,” and if everyone were just like them the world would be a better place. This blocks intimacy because their judgment forms a barrier between themselves and others.

For example, a client in this nodal group was complaining about one of his employees: “I said, ‘Rene, the coffee wasn’t made this morning,’ but rather than just admit when she forgets, she makes excuses: ‘I was running late,’ or ‘A call came in.’” I asked: “Did she make fresh coffee?” and he said: “Oh, yes—but she should take responsibility and admit she made a mistake.” Such judgments of the minute behavior of others block these natives from being able to relax and just allow others to be themselves.

The truth is that blaming someone diminishes that person’s power to bring about the results the native seeks. By making the other person feel small and guilty, not only do they feel less potent in rising to the native’s ideal, they also feel less inclined to do so.

Due to subconscious past life memories as healers, where they were totally responsible for fixing what was wrong, these people are naturally attuned to seeing where things are out of order. However, this is not a correct agenda for them in this incarnation. Now they are learning to shift their focus from judging where others aren’t perfect to having compassion for the fact that we all make mistakes. How can we come into alignment with what does work unless we experience the consequences of what doesn’t work?

The idea that there’s a “right way” of behaving no matter what also blocks Pisces North Node people from just being themselves, and can even cause them to make decisions that go against what their inner being is saying is correct for them. But if they don’t follow their own integrity—by saying yes or no in the moment, in alignment with what they’re feeling, there can be no intimacy, because they are not really part of the equation. Unfortunately, they tend to stick with their own pre-conceived idea of what they “ought” to do, when perhaps God’s plan for them in the moment is completely different.

When these people violate their own boundaries in order to demonstrate “perfect” behavior, internally they feel resentful, which makes them more likely to be critical of others. For example, a Pisces North Node client was helping out with her newborn twin grandchildren. Her daughter and son-in-law came home with sandwiches and sat down to eat. The native said: “You know, if you had any manners you’d at least offer me something.” Her son-in-law immediately gave her half his sandwich—which she refused because she wasn’t hungry, and her point was to correct her daughter’s behavior. This led to an unpleasant scene. The native also exaggerated feeling neglected, because in truth, she had helped them out when she really didn’t want to, and then they didn’t go out of their way to consider her.

Naturally, these dynamics block intimacy in the native’s relationships. If my client were to let go of her judgment, then if she wanted something to eat, she could have just said: “Gosh, I’m hungry too. I’d sure like it if you’d offer me something.” Then the results could have been intimacy instead of alienation.

These people can have an intense attachment to things being done in a certain way, and they can really be a stickler on some things. It may be writing thank-you cards, basic etiquette, not leaving dirty dishes in the sink, etc. They have endless concerns in terms of: “This is how it should be done; this is how people should behave.” This blocks intimacy because they often seem more concerned with people’s behavior than with their basic character.

If someone close does something that is not in alignment with their sense of “rightness,” they may get so upset that they pull away from the person. It’s like their heart just automatically closes. Also, since they’re judging the other person as doing the wrong thing, it pushes their partner away. Although they don’t know what it is, the other person can sense that they’re doing something wrong in the native’s eyes, and it makes them feel unworthy. As a result, neither person feels close. And when these natives pass judgment on another, on a subconscious level they are creating more restraints on their own behavior: “If I make that mistake, someone’s going to judge me.”

Instead of believing that there’s a right way of behaving, Pisces North Node people are learning to accept the higher perception that whatever happens is okay, people are just being themselves. And that frees them to figure out what creative action they can take to feel personally comfortable in the situation. But until they make this shift, they always seem to notice when someone is “not doing something right,” and others think: “Oh, gosh, do they always have to find the negative in everything?” Others feel they can’t really be themselves because they never know when they’re going to step over some invisible line and get zapped.

When these people finally do rise above their habit of judging others, their own mechanism of self-judgment relaxes and they are finally able to free themselves of the inner tension that has always been with them. This allows them to become more aware of their own self-sabotaging behaviors, so they can put their focus on their own personal and spiritual growth.

Also, life becomes easier and more joyous, because when they stop judging, they eliminate so much of their fruitless resistance to the flow of Life. They are learning that life is not only about them, but about the learning and growth of others as well. We all make mistakes along the way, and their loving acceptance of that reality can allow them to support others and heal themselves.

Embracing Flexibility by Seeing a Bigger Picture

Pisces North Node people have a tendency to focus on the details and forget the bigger picture. They know the outcome they want to create, and usually make a detailed plan for getting there. But they get so attached to their plan that they lose sight of the positive outcome that motivated their plan in the first place. For example, their vision may be having the perfect happy family, but if they get too attached to how they think everyone in the family “ought” to behave in order to bring about their vision, they end up creating stress and resentment instead. They are learning to keep their eye on the vision, and allow the plan for how to get there to be flexible.

These natives have spent many past incarnations being of service to others and receiving accolades for their sacrifices. In order to get more praise, they often became overinvolved in the world of details in an attempt to do an “ever more perfect” job. This unresolved pattern is manifesting in this lifetime in terms of their attachment to details and to changing other people’s behavior.

In addition, after repeatedly turning their backs on the spiritual vision behind being of service, to focus on the details, in this incarnation they are often out of touch with this energy and can only see “the plan” through the tunnel vision of the details. This not only leads to frequent failure in their relationships, but if their energy is being drained, the reality is that—no matter how “perfect” their behavior—in the long run no one is truly being helped. Sometimes the situations they are faced with strain their plan and their “be perfect” script. I had one Pisces North Node client who insisted on taking care of her aging father, her mother who suffered from dementia, and a sickly sibling. She would not be flexible and change her plan, even though she was exhausted. She ended up dying suddenly of cancer in her fifties, and the others are still alive.

These people need to realize that the idea “I only know how to focus on the details” is not the truth. The capacity to see the true visionary potential in any situation is fully integrated within them. However, due to invalidation and neglect, it is lying dormant and needs to be acknowledged and encouraged in order to become active again. They can do this by consciously focusing on their original vision in various situations as they unfold.

Resisting the feedback that the world is giving them just leads to crises and pain for Pisces North Node people. If they hold too tightly to believing that their perceptions are right, even when the facts are showing them “This road is a dead end,” they still don’t change. They think that their plan is going to work somehow, against all evidence to the contrary, and this throws them way out of balance. Eventually, the situation may show itself in a way that allows them to break through into reality, which can cause them to totally fall apart—physically, mentally, or emotionally.

An important lesson for these people is to become less rigid. Then the feedback from the environment doesn’t have to get so intense that it blows them apart before they make the necessary changes to their plan. They are learning to have a more relaxed attitude about whatever the input is—to weigh it, include it when appropriate, and adjust their plan accordingly. It has to do with staying in touch with the present moment, noticing how things are developing, and—when necessary—yielding to the inevitable. A good approach for them is to say “It’s all good. So how does my plan need to shift in order to create my vision?” rather than “Why isn’t the environment behaving the way I want it to?”

For example, maybe the native’s vision is to take their family on a trip to Disneyland. However, if they resist information coming in, they may miss the fact that their spouse can’t get a vacation until after the date of their original plan, and the airline they wanted to use is on strike. If they’re stuck in their tunnel vision and won’t change their plan, they will have to cancel the vacation.

On the other hand, by being less attached to the details and more open to the feedback coming in, the native can change the hotel dates. And when the airline goes on strike, they can choose a different airline or decide on a family adventure by train or car. Then their vision of the family going to Disneyland can be realized—possibly in a way that’s a lot more fun!

Actually, if all their plans manifested exactly like their mental blueprint, life would be dry and dull. It’s only when the “unknown” factor enters the picture that things get magical and turn into an adventure. These people are learning that when there’s a change in their plan, it’s simply a nudge for them to step back to see a larger view—the Universe has a better plan. They’re learning about “letting go and letting God” on a daily basis.

Learning to Value Themselves and Others for Who They Are, Not What They Do

Pisces North Node people always tend to think they know what’s best, which has the effect of shutting others down. They are learning to be less focused on the behavior of others, and more aware of where others are coming from—the motive behind their behavior.

When these natives gain the consciousness that everything is unfolding perfectly as the logical effect of the causes that created it, they can better understand why others behave the way they do. When they become more aware of the other person’s motivation, then they can see how to best support them on their path in a way that does not diminish them. However, it can take the native many years to embrace this concept.

For instance, a Pisces North Node friend used to yell at her two small children when they were misbehaving—according to her rules—because it interfered with her plans. But this undermined her ability to parent effectively, because she always felt guilty and then compensated by spoiling them. She was so overconcerned with her children’s behavior that she neglected taking time to actually connect with them and find out who they were as individuals, which could have helped her understand where they were coming from. This blocked intimacy, because her children didn’t feel “seen” or valued. The quality of their interactions with their mother was based on whether or not they are going along with her rules of behavior.

However, Pisces North Node people generally aren’t interested in where other people are coming from. Their excessive concern with others’ behavior blocks healthy intimacy, because they don’t go deep enough to make the true connections that allow others to feel close. In fact, sometimes the other person thinks that the only way to get the native’s attention is to exhibit “bad behavior.” Ultimately, this pattern of being critical and trying to “fix the other person” is exhausting for both parties and leads to alienation, not intimacy.

Another issue that blocks intimacy is that these folks are already so critical of themselves that when another person points out any defect, they tend to react with resentment and anger. It makes them think that the other person doesn’t understand them at all, and will never be able to see their good intentions. They tend to be constantly fearful that others will blame them for things unjustly, and worry that they’re going to be misunderstood or punished because of something they didn’t do. In fact, one of the reasons they tend to become perfectionists is to try to prevent this from happening.

These natives are learning that when things go wrong to not take it personally. For example, a Pisces North Node client was dining out with friends and paid for the meal with a credit card. The waiter came back and told him—very respectfully—that his card had not been accepted. Instead of calmly handling the immediate situation by using another card or paying with cash, the native exploded at the waiter with a long diatribe about how he must have made a mistake—his credit had to be in good standing because he always paid his bills, etc. This didn’t solve the problem, and everyone involved blamed the native for making them feel extremely uncomfortable.

The native simply doesn’t realize that if another person’s input is incorrect, it’s not personal. Maybe it’s just an innocent mistake. Or maybe that person has a habit of getting their facts mixed up, states things as facts that really aren’t, or tells lies. By not taking it personally, the native can have the objectivity to better understand the other person’s nature—what they can count on, areas where they should be cautious, and ways in which their compassion might help the other person heal.

It is not Pisces North Node people’s job in this lifetime to judge or correct the behavior of others. They are learning to let go of their preoccupation with others’ behavior and see them in a larger context. In fact, their job is to dismantle—within their own psyche—the mechanism of judgment that creates barriers between themselves and others, and to learn to love others unconditionally.

To begin releasing all these blocks to intimacy, these people need to stay focused on others’ good qualities. To help develop this new pattern, they could experiment with deliberately noticing one good thing in everyone they meet (it may be a nice smile, a hearty laugh, or an attractive shirt they are wearing). As they start to observe what is “right” about people, their body and their psyche will relax. Then they can allow the flow of Love between themselves and the other person to begin dissolving the rigid barriers.

Trusting in a Higher Power—Releasing Tension and Anxiety

As they begin the process of self-reflection and purification, Pisces North Node people will encounter internal obstacles that need to be dissolved or surrendered to a Higher Power. It is to their advantage to get in touch with spiritual principles that they can apply in a practical way to help them transform their lives. For example, Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)—and similar 12-step programs that deal with other issues—provide practical, spiritually based guidelines to use in daily life. Other disciplines that could be useful include meditation and yoga.

A willingness to trust in a Higher Power is, in fact, a barometer of these people being “on path.” To access their natural connection with the flow of Life’s nurturing energy, they need to take time alone—a minimum of forty minutes a day in quiet retreat is crucial to maintain their internal balance. If they don’t, they tend to lose touch with their spiritual connection—and themselves—and become defensive. Taking this time allows them to relax enough to become peaceful, although others may still need to remind them to chill out every once in a while.

These people hold a strong belief that they are solely responsible for organizing their environment in a way that creates healthy results. This pressure in their subconscious is coming from their past lives as healers, when others really did depend on them to “bring things into order” in life-or-death situations. However, this orientation is NOT correct for them in this lifetime, so although the native feels a sense of crisis around fixing whatever is “wrong” in their environment, their efforts tend to intensify the very issues they are trying to control.

For example, one Pisces North Node client had a vision of a happy family, but her husband was an alcoholic and often exhibited abusive verbal behavior. Because she couldn’t control her environment, she felt helpless. She thought: “I’m out of control here—he has to change his behavior or something bad is going to happen.” So for fifteen years she focused on trying to change him—being upset with him, nagging him, monitoring him, etc.

Naturally, this sabotaged any chance for intimacy they might have been able to share. She didn’t want to be close to him—even when he wasn’t drinking—because she was disgusted with his behavior. He was afraid to be open with her because he didn’t want to experience a tirade that made him feel even worse about himself when his behavior didn’t match her expectations. In fact, in response to the native’s righteous attitude, her husband felt he had to resist her rules just to maintain any sense of being his own person.

After one particularly difficult crisis, my client finally said: “I can’t do this alone anymore,” and found an Al-Anon meeting, a 12-step program for friends and relatives of alcoholics. After a few meetings she realized that the only person she had the power to change was herself. By applying the program’s practical, spiritual guidelines in her daily life, she began surrendering—a life lesson for this nodal group—and was able to “let go and let God.” She stopped being so controlling, gave up constantly worrying about her husband’s behavior, and began doing more for herself and her children.

With the help of the program, she learned how to start focusing on what was working and move forward with the good things happening in her life—her own interests and her children’s activities. In the bigger picture, this entire scenario turned out beautifully—which is often the case when these natives become open to spiritual insights and guidance. When my client’s behavior changed, naturally her husband’s did as well. In this case he joined AA and has been sober for twelve years as of this writing.

Most of us become accustomed to the fact that often things don’t go according to plan. However, when this happens to Pisces North Node people, they stress out and can become like a whirligig out of control, pulling everyone around them into their quagmire. This is because it’s so difficult for these people to be open to seeing a new vision. They are learning that if something isn’t working out, they have a choice. They can say: “Oh, well, I knew it wouldn’t work out,” and give up on their vision; or they can take a risk and say: “Things didn’t come together as I planned, but what other possibilities might work out in this situation?” Then they can begin to realize that the puzzle may still come together, even if all the pieces don’t fit exactly the way they thought they should.

Another lesson around manifesting their vision is that as long as they are depending on others to make it happen, the other person will never be able to do it “right.” As with my client and her alcoholic husband, these people need to get in touch with what it is they want to experience in the situation (she wanted a happy family), and then take action themselves to make it happen.

Pisces North Node people don’t trust the Universe in terms of positive outcomes, and often feel they’ve been shortchanged in life and that “everyone else has it better.” Instead of feeling betrayed by life when things don’t work out their way, it would be a far better choice for these folks to form the habit of greeting every turn of fate with the mind-set “What is Life showing me here? What can I do to make this work?” Then, because they would no longer be resisting what Life presents them, they could learn their lessons without so much drama. Until they become conscious, these people can be so resistant to accepting the deeper Truths that sometimes it’s as if they need to be “beaten down” by circumstances until they get it.

For example, the Pisces North Node son of a client recently fathered an extremely premature baby—less than two pounds. His first response: “Well, here we go again. Everybody else in the family has healthy babies and mine is born like this.” Having such a premature first child rocked this man’s world, but from a larger perspective, it was the perfect learning experience for him. The details of his plan hadn’t worked out, there was nothing tangible he could do to change the situation and no one he could blame. And he was forced to include the emotional component of unconditional Love because it was his child.

In this most intense situation, he had to let go of his old way of being and just feel all the Love from everyone around him, which created a deeper level of closeness between him and his wife. The situation also forced him to become more reliant on a Higher Power. It was exactly the perfect thing because it forced him to pray. And when he “let go and let God,” and accepted the situation instead of railing against it, his child began gaining strength. The entire process resulted in a newfound beauty and lovingness in his nature.

These people actually have an innate ability to access mystical forces that can help them see the higher reason behind unfolding events. But until they give themselves the gift of spending time alone on a daily basis, they may not even realize they have this connection. As a result, they go through life so tightly wound that they almost appear to be obsessive/compulsive. Often the tension builds to the point that they just blow up emotionally. Then they lose their power and it sabotages any chance of intimacy.

This is why—after consulting with a health care professional—a chemical relaxant could be of real temporary help for many of these natives at some point in their life. It’s only by finding a way to relax their overanalytical mind that they can experience inner peacefulness. And it’s only when they accept the Truth of a Higher Power being in charge that their inner anxiety can be healed permanently.

Succeeding in Sexually Intimate Relationships

Pisces North Node people are flexible about some things in their primary relationships. For instance, they may happily let their partner decide what restaurant to go to, but be very attached to their plan about what time to leave and what time they have to be back. When they can’t pin down a time or place and have to “wing it,” it’s very stressful for them. This blocks intimacy in their relationships if their partner is spontaneous. Their partner can end up feeling like the native is more attached to the plan than to them.

For example, if they’re running late to get to a party, not only would the native be upset while they were getting ready, but would most likely remain stuck in upset energy about their plan not working out for the rest of the evening. As a result, they would miss out on the closeness of the connection with their partner and others at the party. This creates anxiety for their partner because they always fear: “Oh, my God, if anything goes wrong with this plan, they’ll be upset for days.”

Also, when the native does plan time with their partner, they tend to spend so long getting prepared that there doesn’t end up being much time for togetherness. If they set aside an hour, they may spend fifty-five minutes in preparation and five minutes in enjoyment. One experiment that could greatly benefit their relationship would be to allow themselves only fifteen minutes to organize, and then spend forty-five minutes really being present with their partner.

It’s also difficult for these people to relax if their environment is not in order. They feel a compulsive need to “clean up”—they can’t just let it go. So instead of relaxing and spending time with their family, they’re running around picking things up. Their partner may say: “Let’s just let it go—the cleaning lady is coming in a couple of days.” But the native just can’t do it—and then they get frustrated with others for not being as neat and tidy as they are.

Pisces North Node people tend to discount what the other person needs in order to make things “perfect.” For instance, their spouse may feel that things are truly perfect when on one day of the weekend they just lie back and let the adventure of the day unfold spontaneously. If the native will consciously allot time to support their mate’s picture of perfection, it will promote intimacy in their relationship.

Another issue in their sexually intimate relationships is that these natives can become so immersed in what other people want from them that their service orientation gets out of control and they end up living their life for everyone else. This blocks intimacy because then the native doesn’t have enough time to give to their partner because they’re giving too much of themselves to so many other people. They often deal with this in a way that further blocks intimacy—by focusing on satisfying their partner’s wants instead of really being present and nurturing their connection.

A different aspect of this issue is that the native may get so focused on what their partner wants from them that they don’t stay in touch with what they want for themselves. They want to be seen as selfless—because that would be perfect behavior—but at the same time they’re aware that they do want something, and it’s confusing for them. This problem is compounded by the fact that they don’t feel “seen” and, in fact, how can the native be accurately seen by their partner—and how can there be intimacy—when they aren’t being authentic? All the other person sees is their presentation of the “perfect person,” not their feelings and needs.

In their primary relationship—as in the rest of their life—until they gain awareness, these people tend to magnify problems, turning molehills into mountains. At any time, something could trigger the native to lash out in objection to the way daily events are unfolding. This blocks intimacy because it’s difficult for their partner to be open and vulnerable when the native is so unpredictable with their anger and anxiety. Also, the other person doesn’t trust that they can honestly reveal themselves without the possibility of long-term repercussions. Even if it’s a small thing, if the native takes it personally it can become such a Big Thing that it causes them to erupt—and then their partner has to deal with the native’s irrational, negative energy. No one wants to risk being vulnerable with someone who explodes unexpectedly.

It is especially damaging to the relationship when what sets the native off is feedback about their behavior. If the native is always defensive about the other person’s input and responds with anger, it blocks intimacy because their partner feels shut down—there’s no room for discussion or compromise.

These people can also become anxious as a way to control the situation and get the other person to defer to them. If every time their partner broaches a difficult issue the native has a “panic attack,” deeper problems in the relationship never get resolved. Panic creates confusion and blocks what’s really going on. These people are learning to look beneath the panic and risk taking an honest look at what they’re feeling. If they don’t, even though they’re in a relationship, there can be no intimacy and both people will continue to feel alone.

Until they become conscious, Pisces North Node people tend to focus on where they think things are “wrong” instead of on everything that’s going right. This preoccupation with always seeing the flaws is especially problematic in their primary relationship. It blocks intimacy because their partner often gets the idea that the native thinks the relationship is not going to work out, which naturally makes them anxious. They may feel like they have to maintain emotional distance for their own self-protection.

Also, when something goes “wrong”—according to the native’s judgment—they can fall into a state of full-blown anxiety. Their energy field becomes so chaotic that it makes those around them back away. They don’t want to be caught up in the tension the native is creating, since there’s nothing they can say or do that seems to help.

Until these folks learn to take the time alone each day that they need to stay connected to a Higher Power, if something doesn’t meet their picture of perfection, they feel anxious and expect the worst: “I’m not surprised—I knew it wouldn’t work out.” The native does enjoy life, but it’s from a defensive position of being prepared for the ax to fall at any moment. So they can’t feel deeply intimate with their partner because they think: “Well, this is good now, but it’s only temporary.”

So until the native learns to trust the Universe and acknowledge that things are always working out perfectly—regardless of how it seems in the moment—their relationships are subject to constant upset and blocks. They are learning to focus on actively creating their vision of a happy relationship—applying objective intelligent effort to solve problems so that their relationships can succeed. These people have the power to create the nurturing intimacy and joy that they seek with their significant other, they just have to be willing to claim it.

How Others Can Help Them Heal

Support Their Conscious Connection with a Higher Power

Help the native to see the importance of taking time alone each day to consciously connect with a Higher Power. Remind them how much better they feel—and how much more effective they are—when they make this a priority in their life. When they lose touch with this awareness, these people tend to become anxious about how events in their life are unfolding. Keep putting them in touch with the idea that everything that happens is somehow correct in the bigger scheme of things, with phrases such as: “No worries” or “It’s all good.” Emphasize that through the process of trusting in a Higher Power, they will be able to see how best to align themselves with the path that will create highest right order.

Being of service is very important to Pisces North Node people. If you frame these ideas in the context of seeing that the greatest service they can be to others in this lifetime is to stay immersed in the energy of their own personal connection with their Higher Power, they will do it. When that link is intact, the energy of outer reality changes and obstacles magically disappear, which creates healing for themselves and others.

Help Them to Suspend Judgment

Pisces North Node people are overly attached to being right, which leads them to be highly judgmental of others’ behavior. When you see them becoming upset, combative, and defensive, your best bet is to say: “You are 100 percent right, and from another point of view, ____.” Their need to be right must first be acknowledged before they can relax enough to actually hear other ideas.

When these people start to overanalyze a situation and judge the people involved, encourage them to step back and remember that the other person didn’t mean to make a mistake. Remind them that everyone is learning and doing the best they can with the tools they have. If you encourage Pisces North Node people to suspend judgment of others so they can discover any flaws in their own behavior and make self-adjustments, they will be more likely to do it.

Help them to become aware of the causes they are putting into motion. Instead of working to change other people and external circumstances, their power lies in turning inward and changing their own thoughts and behavior. As they see and correct self-sabotaging behaviors, they gain a greater sense of personal empowerment. And when you assist them in recognizing behaviors that are sabotaging the results they want to create, over time it will help them to begin placing more importance on their inner world and less on external circumstances.

Remind Them to Stay Focused on Their Vision

When these people interact with others, especially in the workplace, their focus on the details and setting of procedures doesn’t work for anyone. When instead they remind co-workers or employees of the common vision they are all striving to create—and then allow others to get there in their own way—positive energy is created, the job gets done, and everyone wins. So encourage them to keep their eye on the vision of what they want to create, and be flexible about how to get there.

Pisces North Node people are born analyzers. If you remind them that by keeping their eye on their vision, they can access more data that can empower them to be able to “put the puzzle together,” they will do it.

These folks are very motivated to fix situations. Every time they feel upset by how a situation is unfolding, they could experiment with silently saying: “All is well, and everything is unfolding as it should.” This “mantra” will help them to disconnect from the situation and gain the perspective they need in order to see the appropriate next step.

Encourage Their Compassion for Others

Pisces North Node people have a special ability to access the energy of bliss that comes from recognizing the union of all that is. As they learn to stop judging others and remember to stay consciously aware of their connection with a Higher Power, they will be able to understand others’ actions with their heart and develop greater compassion. You can help this process by encouraging them to consciously notice at least one good thing about someone who is faltering, instead of passing judgment on them.

Since these natives are so deeply motivated by wanting to be of service, if you recommend that they approach the situation with compassionate understanding by saying: “It will be the meaningful way you can be of service to the other person,” they are likely to go along. Remind them that we are all learning and growing and that it’s all God’s job. Then when another around them falters or falls, they are more likely to open their hearts and feel compassion.

Support Them in Surrendering to “What Is”

Pisces North Node people are learning to give up trying to control everything and surrender to a Higher Power. In past lives they became so entrenched in being the one responsible for fixing everything, in this lifetime when something goes against their plan that they can’t control, they panic inside, and when they “go ballistic” because some detail isn’t perfect, those around them tend to become anxious themselves. You can help by choosing not to get caught up in this. If you stay relaxed around the native, it affects them in a positive way so that they can start to relax too.

By framing the idea of surrender to “what is” as the first step in seeing how to change a situation, they will be more willing to try it. Remind them to take some time alone so they can see the bigger picture of what’s important. Tell them: “If you really want to get this right, you first need to accept that the current results are ‘correct’—given the input—and then see if you want to change what you’re adding to the mix.” These people are learning to trust Life itself to take care of them. Phrases like: “It’s all God’s job” help shift them into the best part of themselves.

Habits to Discourage

Overanalyzing situations: When these people start analyzing things, they tend to get caught in a force field of anxiety that they can’t control. Discourage them from trying to “figure things out.” Remind them to “let it go, it’s God’s job.”

Scrutinizing others’ behavior: Discourage this habit. Judging the behavior of another blocks them from Love. Refuse to join in or listen when they are being critical of themselves or others.

Obsession with details and perfectionism: Don’t allow this. When they start to become fixated on the details, tell them to relax. Phrases such as: “It’s all good,” “No worries,” “All is well” can have an amazing impact on relaxing their anxieties.