PART II
The Houses
Destiny’s Gifts
Introduction to the Houses
The following sections define the exact nature of the flow of Love between you and another individual as shown by the nodal axis. In every relationship there are gifts that we are destined to bring the other person, and gifts that they are destined to bring to us. When you know what it is that another person is predestined to give you, you can choose to be receptive to honoring and receiving their gift.
And when you know what gifts you are meant to give another, your awareness and active cooperation make your support much more powerful. Also, since the gifts you are giving come from your own North Node attributes, consciously participating in the process will activate these strengths—and energize all areas of your life.
Receiving and Giving Love
The section “Receiving Love” describes the gifts that people in your life are bringing you (where their North Node falls in your birth chart), and the section on “Giving Love” discusses the gifts that you are bringing to others (the placement of your North Node in their birth chart). To calculate these placements go to www.cosmiclove.com. Even though these gifts are usually exchanged on an unconscious level, when someone is destined to help you develop in a certain way, they will inevitably impact your life and cause you to grow in that area. Sometimes you can feel their loving influence, and sometimes it may feel like you are making these changes as a reaction against them. Either way—with or without their conscious awareness—their presence in your life will help you to develop the attributes depicted by the position of their North Node in your natal chart. And in the area of your life influenced by the house where their South Node falls, they will tend to diminish you—most likely in a totally unconscious way.
The Nodes function in this way because there is a certain karma attached to them. (See Frontmatter for more information on karma.) So all those who play important roles in your life are there for a reason. Different parts of ourselves need to develop at different times in order for us to attain heightened levels of awareness, inner balance, and vitality. We unconsciously attract those people to us who can bring out the qualities that need to be stimulated at a certain point in our life.
When a significant person enters your life, notice in which of your houses their North Node falls. This is the area of personal and spiritual growth where you need strengthening at that time. For instance, if their North Node falls in your 3rd House, the Universe is telling you that it’s time for you to expand your ability to communicate effectively—which is a 3rd House attribute—and this person will have a unique capacity to stimulate your growth in that area. It is then up to you to graciously accept their gift, allowing their influence to advance your maturity in that specific way. And when we consciously accept another’s gift and grow from it, both parties benefit and a channel of Love is opened between you.
Disappointment and difficulties occur in our relationships when we expect the other person to show their love and caring for us according to our preconceived expectations of what Love looks like. Our relationships will prosper to the degree that we allow the other person to demonstrate their love in alignment with who they really are, and accept the gifts they are destined to bring us. The Nodes are operating at a tremendously deep, foundational level in the personality, so wherever a person’s North Node falls in your chart, be open to letting them use their unique ability to teach you how to “get it straight” in that area. If you resist their gift, you will get nothing but resistance back from that person.
We can always get our needs met in our relationships if we maintain an objective awareness of this natural flow of energy and learn how to cooperate with it. It brings out the best in the other person when we accept the particular gifts that they, on a Soul level, are meant to give us, and it brings out the worst in them when we don’t. By remembering that Love depends on the reciprocal flow of giving and receiving, we can experience Love in our relationships more consistently.
To activate the flow of Love between you and another, become aware of the special gift that you are destined to give them, as shown by the house in their birth chart where your North Node falls. As you consciously take action to bring them your gifts, they will become more aware of you, and the flow of Love between you will be stimulated. When you graciously receive another’s gifts and allow their influence to help you develop the qualities they were destined to encourage, it validates and strengthens them and allows the flow of Love to continue between you.
It is also useful to understand that a whole different orientation and awareness is required for receiving gifts than for giving gifts. You will notice that the sections on how to receive gifts are longer than those on how to give them. This is because when we give our gift to another, we have no control over the outcome. It is completely up to them what they do with it. However, we are in control of what we do with the gifts that others give to us. Therefore, more guidance is given for how to accept another’s gift and use it to our advantage.
Reciprocity
The way that reciprocity works in astrology is that when we benefit someone in a specific area of their life, they simultaneously begin to benefit us in that same area. For example, if your North Node falls in another’s 10th House, you are a helpful influence in terms of their profession. And regardless of the placement of their North Node in your chart, they will also be a positive influence in your profession. So in a way there are two gifts: the gift another is destined to give us through their North Node placement, and the reciprocal support they will give us simply because we are giving it to them!
Identical Gifts/Opposite Gifts
When you and a significant person in your life have your North Nodes in each other’s same houses, destiny has chosen you to encourage the same area of Soul growth in each other. For example, if their North Node is in your 1st House and your North Node is in their 1st House, you are meant to encourage each other to take independent action and develop your leadership potential. Being aware that you are giving and receiving the same gift gives you both a greater degree of understanding that can be helpful in breaking through each other’s natural resistance to change.
If you and another person have your North Nodes in opposite houses (six houses apart), you have been given the opportunity to create a unique kind of give and take in your relationship. Like an Infinity Sign, the flow of energy between you needs to keep looping back and forth.
In order to reap the rewards of this relationship, it is especially important to follow the recommendations for receiving Love in the house where their North Node falls, and be generous in gifting them in their house where your North Node falls. For example, if their North Node falls in your 2nd House (boundaries and self-sufficiency), and your North Node falls in their 8th House (bonding and merging of energies toward a joint goal), then through a conscious reciprocal give and take of these polarities it is possible to activate the full scope of material and physical sharing.
If an imbalance should occur, make sure that you remain open to receiving the gifts they are bringing you and become more conscious in giving them your gifts. The idea is to reactivate the energy so you can keep it flowing back and forth between you. A truly remarkable and satisfying exchange can occur with this house reversal of the Nodes, but both people must stay tuned in so that the energy does not stagnate in either house.
Gifts Given Obliquely
If your South Node is in the same house (in your own chart) where another’s North Node falls, your relationship may hold special challenges in the area depicted by that house. This person may bring you their gift indirectly by not letting you get away with any behavior that reflects less than your full potential in terms of the attributes of that house.
For example, I had a client whose South Node is in her 3rd House, indicating that she is learning not to tell white lies or indulge in superficial conversations that aren’t based on what is true for her. Her father’s North Node also fell in her 3rd House, and growing up she felt she had almost no communication with him. His energy didn’t allow her to continue in past life patterns of misusing communication as a form of manipulation.
So she was silent around him quite a bit because it took many years for her to mature enough so that her words could indeed be based in her own truth (her North Node was in her 9th House). Her father did give her the gift of authentic communication by forcing her to carefully consider the integrity of her words, but it was not given in a direct and loving manner.
Conscious Communication
Words—the way we present things to others—are so important. The part of ourselves we are coming from when we approach another is integral to the outcome of the interaction. We are much more likely to get what we want in Life if we just learn how to state our needs in a way that the other person can really hear, so they can have the opportunity to cooperate with us.
You will find recommendations for helpful communication techniques specific to each house—for both Giving and Receiving—in the sections “Potential Areas of Concern” and “Best Approach.” Experimenting with these suggestions can help you become open to accepting the strengthening influence of the gifts you are destined to receive. These pointers can also assist in circumventing the “energy drain” that can be caused inadvertently by the South Node influence of another.
Consciously using the tools presented in this section can open the door to actively experiencing a deeper exchange of Love between ourselves and those with whom we are in relationship.
If you don’t know the house position that shows the gifts that you are exchanging with another, go to www.cosmiclove.com and type in the birth information for yourself and other person involved. You will need the date, location, and time (if available). This service is free of charge.
RECEIVING LOVE: GIFTS YOUR PARTNER BRINGS YOU
When their North Node is in your 1ST HOUSE, they are bringing you the gifts of:
SELF-AWARENESS—When your personality is out of balance because you need to strengthen your awareness of your own identity and have your sense of “I” validated and expanded, you may attract someone into your life whose North Node falls in your 1st House. Their gift will be to put you back in touch with who you really are. Someone with this nodal position truly sees your glory. They will help you become aware of your specialness and how you are different from others, which deepens your level of self-awareness. They are interested in you and impressed by you. By repeatedly telling you how smart and talented you are, they bolster your confidence.
Life also brought this person across your path because it’s time for your personality and self-expression to more accurately reflect the truth of your inner being, and they empower you to more effectively communicate this truth to others. They believe in your ability to be self-sufficient, which increases your awareness of your own personal strength. In addition, you are naturally receptive to their manner of encouragement and are willing to try their suggestions. You will also be aware of their strengths in a way that further increases you. For instance, if they exhibit the traits of diplomacy, good business skills, or social awareness, you may recognize that you also possess those qualities. By watching their demonstration you naturally learn to use these abilities more effectively in your own life.
This person has come into your life to strengthen you in the areas where you need to grow, so if you actively participate in receiving their gifts, you will speed ahead on your own karmic path. And simultaneously, you also validate their effectiveness in the very area where they need confirmation.
INDEPENDENCE—A person whose North Node falls in your 1st House has also been drawn to you to infuse the qualities of strength and independence into your sense of self. They can help you establish a base of healthy self-sufficiency in your life. Another aspect of this person’s gift to you is helping you to develop more independence in your relationships with others. To this end, they will totally discourage any form of co-dependency or reliance on others. They like it when you are “feisty,” discovering yourself, being yourself, and asserting yourself.
One of their jobs in your life is to help you strengthen your individuality, so when you are not exhibiting the trait of independence, they subconsciously pull away until you reestablish it again within your personality. Then they are attracted to you and come closer. So if you desire closeness in this relationship, maintaining your independence is actually the key factor in creating it.
This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t choose a partner with this nodal position, but sometimes this can be a bit tricky. I had a client whose boyfriend’s North Node was in her 1st House, bringing her the gift of independence. But HER North Node was in HIS 8th House, bringing him the gift of learning about bonded, Soul Mate relationships! Since these gifts could have opposed each other, the energy in their relationship needed to stay in constant motion in order for them to be happy.
For instance, sometimes when she was giving to him and creating a sense of Oneness, he would push her away so that each of them could internalize the shared energy and allow it to strengthen their own separate personalities. This was a unique situation where as a couple they were learning how to be in a committed relationship without losing their individuality—and their personal astrological charts showed that each of them was challenged with learning this lesson. They had subconsciously attracted each other when they were ready, so they both could master it.
This person can permanently strengthen your life by encouraging your individuality and enhancing your sense of independence. As you accept their gift and allow them to help you recognize that you can do things on your own, your demonstration motivates them to actively begin exploring their independence and pursuing their own talents. In this way, you empower each other to evolve into the full expression of your own unique potential.
COURAGE AND LEADERSHIP—If you have a significant person in your life with this nodal position, the Universe is letting you know that it’s time for you to become more assertive and develop your leadership potential. This person is here to awaken the natural leader within you. They will encourage you to take charge of your own life, and help you develop your ability to assert yourself in ways with which others can cooperate. They will support you in being decisive and open in letting others know what you want.
Courage is also a quality that you need to strengthen at this time, and your readiness to develop it has attracted this person to support you. They want you to actualize your full potential, and to this end they inspire your boldness to take risks and go after what you want in life. This person is aware of any shyness or hesitation in your personality and they have the ability to help you overcome it, increasing your self-confidence through their confidence in you. In the process they encourage your competitive nature in a healthy way.
When you take the initiative and start something, this person will almost always come along to support you. Even if you don’t succeed the first time, they will remain strongly convinced that soon your light will really shine. Your job is to accept their gift by allowing them to help you assume a position of leadership and attain your goals. And as they bring you the gift of courage and the ability to exercise clear and direct leadership, they are learning to be responsive to the style of leadership you naturally exhibit. So when you become more open in displaying your leadership through their influence, it brings out the best in them and they also gain a greater sense of self-confidence.
PERSONALITY EFFECTIVENESS—This person understands the inner working of your personality and can help you heal any hindrances you may have in terms of effectively expressing yourself to others or successfully interacting with your environment. For example, if you are shy and normally have a quiet voice, they may encourage you to speak up so that others can hear the important information you have to share.
They recognize your strengths and talents, and want to bring your inner beauty out into the world so that others can see your true worth. They would make a good life coach for you in the areas of public speaking, marketing, or otherwise presenting yourself to others. They can also assist you in developing your inner talents and help promote your gifts to a wider audience or market.
Someone whose North Node falls in your 1st House is “good karma” for your physical body, so they would be a good doctor, cosmetic advisor, wardrobe/color consultant, or plastic surgeon for you—assuming they are qualified in their particular field. This is the friend you want to take shopping with you in order to benefit from their accurate advice on what clothing and accessories look best on you. They also love to “show you off,” which helps you gain confidence in your personal appearance and the way you present yourself to others.
As you receive this person’s gift by allowing them to help you become more effective in reaching your goals, you gain the impetus you need to boost yourself to success. And by accepting their gift and appreciating what they do for you, you bring out the best in them. In supporting you, their own life is strengthened.
POTENTIAL AREAS OF CONCERN—In bringing you the gifts of increased self-awareness, strength, independence, and personal effectiveness, they inadvertently drain energy from the area of partnership and interdependency. Even if this is a marriage relationship, if you become too undefined in your own personality or too reliant on them, something within them will begin to push you away.
This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t choose a partner with this nodal position. But if you want to experience teamwork in the relationship, you will have to take the initiative to bring it about, rather than assuming that it will happen naturally. They will not automatically see the benefits of creating an interdependent partnership with you: They see a partnership based on your increased strength and independence, where you assert yourself and take the lead. So in a partnership, they will consistently shift the focus from “doing it together” to putting you in a position of self-reliance. You’ll say: “Let’s do this together,” and they’ll reply: “Well, I think you can do that on your own.” They will never let you become dependent on them—they want you to approach the relationship from a position of independence.
The best way to create a happy marriage or other close relationship with this person is to allow yourself to be a strong, independent entity and let your partner know specifically what you need from them. And they will be totally supportive of you as an independent being, even at the expense of the partnership. From a larger point of view, it’s important to be sure that in their willingness to support you, you do not allow them to be diminished or harmed in any way. If you want an equal interdependent partnership in your life, you may need to look outside this relationship to create it. You might consider partnering with someone else on a joint project, or having close friends you can share with on a deep level. Or maybe you can create a job situation that involves a lot of teamwork.
Another thing to be aware of is that this person is not able to give you good advice about how to cooperate with others—either socially or in the workplace. They can tell you how to communicate more clearly, but even with the best of intentions, they will inadvertently give you bad advice in terms of relationships, so don’t choose someone with this nodal position as a relationship counselor.
BEST APPROACH—The words we use to propose things to others are so important. They reflect where we are coming from, which always determines the outcome. If a person’s North Node is in your 1st House, they will be able to hear you if you take a position of leadership and simply let them know how they can support you, without justifying your position. Since their gift is to help you learn to focus on yourself, when you try to focus on what is good for them or for the relationship, you will lose.
For example, if you say: “I think it will help our relationship if we take turns doing the laundry,” they won’t be able to hear you. To get the results you want, put the focus on yourself: “I feel frustrated with always doing the laundry and I would really like you to do it every other week.” Stated this way, they will be able to hear you and you are more likely to get a positive response. In the same way, if you try to change them directly by focusing on their behavior, they will turn a deaf ear. So saying “You need to pick up your own clothes and do your own dishes” won’t work. But if you say, “I want you to pick up your own clothes and do your own dishes from now on,” they WILL hear you and will be much more likely to do it.
The “I” approach will always work best with this person, even if it’s something they don’t want to hear. For example, if they want to come to see you and you really don’t have time, just tell them: “I have such a heavy work commitment right now, I just can’t do it.” When you are direct and honest with them, showing that you have accepted their gift by demonstrating your independence, they won’t take it personally.
Phrases like “I’ll be better company if I have a half hour to myself every day to regain my perspective” or “I need you to do the grocery shopping so I can cook for our friends tonight” actively focus the attention on you, and will allow your partner to respond from the best part of themselves instead of getting bogged down in unconscious resistance.
One final example: If your mate has their North Node in your 1st House and you say: “I think it would be good for our relationship to go out once a week for a romantic date,” they won’t be able to hear you and meet your needs. But if you say: “What I need at this point to be happy in our relationship is for us to go out once a week for a romantic date together,” they will cooperate. Using your own words and style of delivery, experiment with how you can step into the leadership role with this person in ways that naturally allow them to cooperate with you.
PAST LIFE INFLUENCES—There are no specific past life influences related to this nodal position unless a person’s North Node falls in your 1st House and their South Node conjoins one of your planets (see Part III). Then, meeting them in this lifetime is truly a matter of destiny—a contract to be fulfilled—and these influences may be strongly felt.
In a past incarnation, this person somehow eclipsed your independence for selfish purposes. It may have been a husband who made you a slave to his “whims,” or a partner who for reasons of personal gain would not allow you to leave the relationship. The effect on you from this past life situation may have resulted in tendencies—carried over into this lifetime—that prevent you from being effective in going after what you want.
Regardless of the specific circumstances, from a karmic point of view this Soul has a “contract” to repay their debt to you by encouraging you to stand free of the partnership, look out after your own interests, heal your limitations, and pursue your own path of self-discovery. However, because this Soul is so familiar to you, you may try to fall back into a habitual tendency to become dependent on them. You may judge them harshly because they will not allow you to develop a co-dependent relationship.
This person may even resist forming a healthy interdependent relationship with you, since their obligation is to make sure that you regain your own strength: a self-aware, individual entity. Their gift is to help you become an independent leader. Life is much easier if we accept the gifts that others are trying to give us, thereby creating an experience of mutual increase. There are no accidents. If someone significant has their North Node in your 1st House, graciously allow them to help you blossom as an individual—as they are uniquely qualified to do—and both of you will win.
When their North Node is in your 2ND HOUSE, they are bringing you the gifts of:
MATERIAL WEALTH—If someone has come across your path whose North Node is in your 2nd House, it’s time for you to become more aware of your individual talents and learn how to create a strong financial base. This person is good “money karma” for you, and their presence in your life will increase your material wealth in some way. They may give you money directly, make money for you, or attract others who will add to your financial resources. They can also infuse you with such a heightened awareness of your special abilities that you start making more money on your own.
This person really recognizes your talents, knows how good you are at what you do, and understands your value, so they can instinctively give you good financial advice. They are internally motivated to assist you, and their energy stimulates you to make decisions that will bring you more money. For instance, they might encourage you to request a raise at just the right time and pinpoint how your contribution is worth more than your current level of compensation.
When a person has this nodal position, it is definitely in your best interest to allow them to increase your business and/or your money in some way. In fact, if they come to you for a loan and you feel their project will make money for you, the chances are good that your financial payback will be quite lucrative. But make sure that your money remains completely separate from theirs, or their “good money karma” won’t work! It’s tricky. Whenever possible, it’s always best to begin a small test loan before making a large investment. For example, I have a client whose brother’s North Node falls in her 2nd House. He buys houses to renovate and sell, and has come to her periodically for loans. She has consistently gotten profitable returns when he sells these properties.
Personally, if someone comes into my life with this nodal position, I always listen to their ideas about money. I listen if they tell me there are valuable things about me that I haven’t recognized, and I listen if they tell me how I can develop my talents in ways that will be of value to others. Actually, they would be a good financial advisor or career coach, in terms of pinpointing your unique talents and skills that are valuable and marketable.
As you accept—and act on—this person’s gifts by allowing them to help you develop your abilities and increase your resources, your demonstration motivates them to begin actively exploring their own individual talents. In this way, you empower each other to gain a greater self-sufficiency, and the dynamics between you will result in financial benefits to you both.
SENSE OF SELF-WORTH—Someone with this nodal position will recognize what is important about you and how valuable you are as a person. They are automatically aware of your talents—the unique qualities that you bring to the table—and they make you aware of how special you are and how much you have to offer. Also, they have no qualms about letting others know your value. In fact, they will sing your praises right in front of you, greatly enhancing your self-image. They are so sure of your talents and abilities, they leave no room for anyone to doubt your worth—even you!
This person is also aware of areas where you lack confidence and experience self-doubt and fear. They can help heal those issues by pointing out how adept you actually are in a way you can really hear. This naturally motivates you to take action and make positive changes in your life that further enhance your self-image. For instance, I had a client whose boyfriend’s North Node fell in her 2nd House. Soon after they got together she began getting promotions and raises at work. And with his encouragement and support, she lost twenty-five pounds and began working out to keep her body in shape. Her sense of self-worth soared as a result of his influence in her life.
A person with this nodal position will also encourage you to fulfill your needs for physical and sensual pleasure—with a good meal, a massage, or just taking time to enjoy life’s generous bounty. They are also a positive influence in terms of helping you choose possessions that will increase in value or that you will really enjoy, so take them with you when you shop for any major purchases. In general, this person will be very helpful with your physical and material needs—if you take responsibility for voicing them. They don’t want to be your Soul Mate in every area of your life—their job is to increase your confidence and strengthen your independent sense of self-worth so that you can access your own personal power.
Rather than allowing you to rely on them to constantly feed you validation, they bring you permanent strength within yourself. You can accept their gift by allowing your inner resources to manifest on the material plane. And since the process of supporting you in this way brings out the best in them, it becomes a win-win situation!
SELF-RELIANCE—This person is also in your life to increase your level of self-reliance. If they are a parent, they may provide you with a good physical environment in which to grow up, but they won’t baby you. In fact, they will constantly throw you back on your own resources, requiring you to become aware of your strength as an independent entity, and it is always best to relate to them from this position.
For instance, if you ever need financial help from your family, your best bet is to approach them with a list of specific needs. Have a dollar estimate attached to each item, and let them know how these things are precisely what you need to survive and thrive in your current situation. This way you are demonstrating an attitude of self-reliance, rather than entitlement.
This person won’t partner with you and let you make money with them—in terms of pooling your resources. This is not a Soul Mate relationship in the sense of shared energy always working toward common goals. They may agree to do one project at a time with you but they won’t partner on everything. When they don’t want to partner with you, they have great ideas for how you can do it, and they will feed you the energy and encouragement you need to better yourself. In some way, your values and sense of what is meaningful in life resonates with what is also inherently important to them. So when you independently assert an objective that expresses your ideals, they support you instantly because it reflects their own values.
However, you cannot rely on their support unless you ask for it. Their job is to help you become more assertive about getting your physical and material needs met. So if you expect them to notice that you need help unloading the car, they may let you down. However, if you take the initiative and say: “Hey, will you please help me unload the car?” they will be happy to oblige.
POTENTIAL AREAS OF CONCERN—In the process of bringing more prosperity into your life and increasing your sense of self-worth, this person inadvertently drains energy from the area of interdependency. They are here to help you strengthen your ability to assert yourself—to clearly define and state your own personal boundaries and your specific needs as they arise. If you begin to lose your boundaries and seek to merge with them, they will push you away. They increase your personal resources and strength at the expense of allowing you to rely on them in a “bonded” relationship.
So if you relate to this person by trying to get them to combine their energy with yours, you are not accepting their gift. You will find that this person doesn’t want to combine with you as a single entity—that’s not the gift they are destined to give you. This doesn’t mean that the two of you won’t be successful in a joint project. In fact, this is a great business aspect for making money, as well as for satisfying specific physical needs, and you will likely feel very comfortable with this person. However, for any financial venture to be successful and satisfying, be aware of staying within your own boundaries. Financially, this means that it is imperative that your money remains under your control. If you try to “help them out” in a joint business where your resources are combined with theirs, you will likely lose money.
For example, I have a client whose brother-in-law’s North Node falls in her 2nd House. Against her instincts, she agreed to invest both labor and money in his family business. There were no clear boundaries or system of accountability, and she began losing money. With this nodal position, you can’t count on this person in a financially interdependent relationship. For success, both people’s money needs to remain separate. They can either give you money or—with a clear contract—make money for you, or bolster your confidence so you can make more money on your own.
BEST APPROACH—The words we use to propose things to others are so important. They reflect where we are coming from, which always determines the outcome. Most people will support you if you come into alignment with the presentation that they can hear. When someone’s North Node is in your 2nd House, remember that they are in your life to help you learn to focus on yourself, so when you communicate with them, it works best to concentrate on your needs rather than on their behavior.
For example, rather than spotlighting the flaws in their behavior—“I wish you would stop laughing at me when I discuss politics”—use words that put the focus on your needs: “I need you to support me in having my own political ideas.” Or, rather than “Stop rushing me—it makes me nervous,” focus on what you need to feel comfortable: “I need you to be patient and loving with me when we’re getting ready.”
Also, this person will be better able to hear you and cooperate with you when you speak to them from a sense of your own needs, rather than being dependent on mutual energy. If you say “Let’s start a business together,” they will resist you. However, if you say “I want to start a business, and I need your help in setting up the computer” (or any concrete task), they will be right there to give you a hand. If you are struggling with something, rather than assume they will be aware that you need help, it is in your best interests to ask them directly. Don’t expect them to spontaneously “pitch in”—they need to be asked.
On a deeper level, taking charge and asking for help strengthens your self-reliance and increases your sense of self-worth. When you take the initiative and express exactly what you need from them, they will carry it out brilliantly in a way that benefits you both. To bring out the best in them, stay away from their personal business and psychology and allow them to focus on your needs.
PAST LIFE INFLUENCES—There are no specific past life influences related to this nodal position unless a person’s North Node falls in your 2nd House and their South Node conjoins one of your planets (see Part III). Then meeting them in this lifetime is truly a matter of destiny—a contract to be fulfilled—and these influences may be strongly felt.
From a karmic point of view, this person was probably a past life Soul Mate who created a relationship where you were totally enmeshed and dependent. This excessive bonding erased your sense of self-worth as an individual. It may even be that you had a special talent or gift to offer society that they didn’t allow you to develop independently. In fact, they may have used your abilities to support their own agenda, stealing from you in terms of taking the credit and reaping the financial rewards.
So in this lifetime, they have a subconscious need to enhance your freedom in terms of your personal and financial strength, and to make sure you know that you can survive on your own. They again see your unique talents, and now they want to help you become more aware of your value to others and to reap the rewards yourself. And since they most likely owe you a financial debt from a past life situation, in this incarnation they may leave you money or possessions upon their death.
If they give you a financial gift, they do it in a way that strengthens your sense of personal power, rather than having strings attached that create a sense of debt or dependency. If you get the feeling that there are strings attached, your best bet is to not buy into that perception—just accept it as a gift. Then any past life debts between you can be healed.
When their North Node is in your 3RD HOUSE, they are bringing you the gifts of:
COMMUNICATION—If a person who plays a significant role in your life has their North Node in your 3rd House, it’s time for you to improve your communication skills. You will feel an easy, mental rapport with them. Without effort, you will “hear” what they say, and be able to respond naturally in the flow of the moment. Through your conversations with them you will learn how to more effectively establish a comfortable mental connection with others.
This person’s influence will help you see if aspects of your communication style are actually interfering with your ability to connect with others. For instance, a friend with this nodal position was the first person to “instant message” me online, and we communicated for an hour that evening. Later, when I reread our conversation, I noticed that I was answering him too quickly. I wasn’t taking time to really hear—and take into account—his responses to my previous message before I answered him.
As if a light came on in my brain, I suddenly realized that when I begin feeling a romantic attraction, I start responding to the other person before I really take in what they are saying. This is an example of how this person can improve your communication skills—sometimes without even being aware of it. However, they may also do this by not being able—or willing—to cooperate with what you are saying when you interact in your accustomed manner, thus forcing you to grow to a new level where your communication more accurately expresses what you actually mean.
For instance, I have a client whose son has his North Node in her 3rd House. He makes fun of his mother when she doesn’t communicate clearly. “Mom, you never finish a sentence”…“Mom, you never say what ‘the thing’ is…you just tell me about ‘that thing,’ or ask me to bring you ‘that thing’…you never tell me what it actually is!” In this way, he is helping her learn to communicate more clearly.
Another gift this person is bringing you is to help you develop a more concrete way of thinking and communicating. Rather than “assume” they know what you mean, they are likely to ask you questions so they can gain more information. If something doesn’t make sense to them, they ask for more facts, and if you can’t provide them, you will likely be inspired to go and find out. In this way your thinking can gain a more logical foundation. For these reasons, someone with this nodal position would make a good speech coach, writing teacher, language instructor, or computer coach for you.
As you receive this person’s gift by allowing them to help you improve your communication skills and your capacity for connecting with others, your example motivates them to begin actively expanding their own skills in this area. In this way, you empower each other to develop these abilities.
CONNECTING WITH OTHERS—Life seems to bring people across our paths who supply the energy for helping us with that part of ourselves we next need to develop in order for our lives to progress. For instance, the “instant messaging” friend I mentioned earlier also introduced me to using e-mail. This was something I had been resisting, and it was time for me to learn a whole new way of connecting with others. We are still friends, and sometimes talk on the phone for hours. We both enjoy the satisfying feeling of talking about our daily lives and the acceptance that flows between us with this nodal position.
The connection develops because this person inspires you to communicate with them. This doesn’t necessarily mean there is a deep affinity between you, but because of the ease of interaction you tend to talk with them a lot and learn the value of everyday activities—going to the movies, playing cards, and getting to know each other by just hanging out. In fact, one aspect of their gift to you is bringing you experience in establishing rapport and mutual understanding with others. They can also be an influence that connects you to something that is important to you, such as the arts, technology, or another area of interest.
Another facet of their gift is to teach you how to relate successfully with those people with whom you have brief daily interactions of a helpful or cooperative nature. If you have been having difficulties with a neighbor or a sibling, this person can give you good advice about how to view the other person and help you heal the situation in a logical, practical way.
You will also feel a “brother/sister” type of affinity with this person, even in a romantic relationship. Knowing this can help you see how to handle any disagreements or uncomfortable situations that might arise. For instance, if this is someone with whom you have some discomfort—a new romantic attraction or a boss—simply pretend that they are your brother or sister, and your interactions with them will automatically become easier. With this technique they will be very receptive to engaging in “small talk,” and soon an easy rapport will begin to unfold. This is also the correct way to address any larger issues in your close relationships with these people. And in terms of handling any problems with your actual siblings, they will likely give you particularly good advice.
DAILY INTERACTIONS/LASTING RELATIONSHIPS—This person is always interested in hearing about what’s happening in your life. They feed you the energy that makes you want to communicate with them, and you pick up the phone even if normally you would avoid such frequent contact because it’s too much work. You sense their receptivity to hearing your point of view. When they ask you how your day went, you feel inspired to ask them about their day. This simple process increases your ability to respond readily to the everyday circumstances of life.
This easy rapport and flow of communication between two people on a daily basis is one of the most frequent indicators of a lasting relationship, and I often find this nodal connection among my married clients. The fact that this person motivates you to communicate with them creates closeness and safety. Normally, if you have a misunderstanding with someone, you may not feel comfortable letting them know how you feel. However, with this person, something about their energy field gives you the confidence to get past your fear and openly share your thoughts and feelings.
In fact, this person won’t let you get away with being manipulative by not communicating what is really true for you. If you withhold information in an attempt to avoid connecting with them regarding a difficult issue, the communication between you may break down altogether. They definitely inspire you to say what’s real on a concrete level, and to slow down your mental process so you can share your ideas more effectively. So despite any differences in “style” of communication, a connection is established between you in which you understand each other’s point of view without judgment. Even though you may not necessarily be on the “same page” spiritually or philosophically, you can be supportive of each other’s personal growth.
TALENTS AND ABILITIES—This person will definitely support you in developing your talents and abilities, especially in terms of continuing your formal education. They are good “school karma” for you, and would be very helpful in the role of a teacher or tutor. Someone with this nodal position understands and values your ways of viewing life, and knows that further developing your mind will empower you to become even more effective in using your innate mental abilities. If you have difficulty with any of your classes, they are likely to provide insights that can help you overcome any challenges. They are also willing to bolster your efforts by assisting you with homework or in memorizing specific material.
Also, if your profession includes writing, teaching, or sales, this person will be very supportive of your work. Their ability to hear what you are saying will build your confidence that others will also be able to understand you. They are naturally aware of your writing skills and will encourage you to use them. They may not be particularly helpful in terms of publishing or distributing what you write, but they will definitely be good luck for you in terms of the actual writing.
Life may have sent this person to you in response to your desire to increase the amount of time you spend writing, learning, teaching, or selling, as their influence will propel you to get to work in these areas. They are bringing you the gift of validating your ability to get your ideas out to a wider audience, and any advice they may give you about how to teach or sell more effectively is definitely worthwhile. In fact, you might even consider doing a writing project with this person, or some other project that involves sales or teaching.
Stimulating healthy curiosity is another way this person will influence you. For instance, if you’re working on a problem, they may ask you a question that takes your mind in a whole other direction—and the result may be the very resolution you are looking for. The curiosity they engender helps you become more aware of your environment and your options, as well as different ways of perceiving data.
POTENTIAL AREAS OF CONCERN—In the process of improving your ability to communicate and connect with others, this person may inadvertently drain energy from important areas, such as ethics and morality. For instance, rather than help you become more ethical, they would be more likely to encourage you to trust your logic rather than listen to your intuition or your conscience.
When someone’s North Node falls in your 3rd House, their purpose in your life is to recognize and encourage your mental talents and increase your ability to communicate in a way that others will accept. In fact, they may encourage you to sacrifice Truth in favor of clear, logical thinking that will gain a positive social response. By supporting your logical reasoning, they take energy away from abstract thought and intuition. Also, this person is not good legal karma for you, and would probably not be your best choice for an attorney.
Although it’s easy to interact with them on a daily basis, this person does not necessarily understand your spiritual or philosophical beliefs. They may discuss higher concepts with you so that you can share in the “high” that results from two minds deeply listening, understanding, and connecting with each other, but their purpose is not to put you directly in touch with Truth. Of course, if this person is a spiritual teacher, in the process of sharing their ideas you will have an opportunity to grow spiritually.
BEST APPROACH—The words we use to propose things to others are so important. They reflect where we are coming from, which always determines the outcome. With someone with this nodal position, be prepared to talk more than you would with other people, since they’re here to teach you how to communicate more effectively. And if you have a differing point of view, be willing to put it out there and keep the conversation going. If a problem develops, just by relating to them as if they are your brother or sister, your interaction will immediately become more comfortable.
When you speak abstractly or theoretically to this person, they are not able to hear you. However, if you approach them logically or factually, they can hear you and will most likely want to cooperate. For instance, if you say, “I just know that if we rent to these people they’re going to be late with their payments,” they will probably discount your intuition. But if you say, “Before renting to these people, let’s get more information about them from their previous landlords,” they will be open to your suggestion. Or if you say, “My conscience will bother me if we withhold the information about the brake problem when we sell the car,” they will probably respond in a negative way. But if you say, “If we don’t mention the brake problem and someone gets hurt, the buyer could come back and sue us,” you will get through to them.
If this person is overriding you in a particular situation, use logic to get their attention, or ask them some factual questions about what’s involved. As you attempt to get more information, they will feel your interest and are more likely to become interested in your point of view. And using the “how was your day” beginning almost always leads to a naturally happy connection and interaction with them.
PAST LIFE INFLUENCES—There are no specific past life influences related to this nodal position unless a person’s North Node falls in your 3rd House and their South Node conjoins one of your planets (see Part III). Then meeting them in this lifetime is truly a matter of destiny—a contract to be fulfilled—and these influences may be strongly felt.
In a past incarnation this person may have interfered with your ability to share your philosophical or spiritual views with others. It may be that your beliefs were too controversial to be socially acceptable at the time, so they squashed them in some way. Or it could have been a time of religious persecution—such as the Spanish Inquisition or the Salem witch burnings—and they participated in silencing you.
Whatever the past connection, in this lifetime they will feel compelled to encourage you and help you get your message out to the world so their karmic debt can be repaid. Even if your ideas are strongly opposed to their own personal beliefs, they will not interfere with your spiritual or philosophical perceptions and will feel compelled to help you if they can. One way they may assist is to put their skills at your disposal. For example, if they are a computer wizard they may offer to help you set up a Web site. If they have the appropriate connections, they may help you get some publicity for your ideas. Or they may encourage you to develop your writing or communication skills so that you can make your message even more powerful.
As you accept their help and allow yourself to move into a position where your ideas are more widely heard by others, you are giving this person the honor of repaying their debt—and you both win. If you have attracted several people into your life whose South Nodes are on a planet in your 9th House (see Part III), the Universe is telling you to rise above any unconscious past life fear of violent repercussions and let your truth out to a larger audience.
When their North Node is in your 4TH HOUSE, they are bringing you the gifts of:
INTERNAL FOUNDATION AND CORE BELIEFS—If a significant person in your life has their North Node in your 4th House, their role is to be your protector and help you survive until you have developed an internal foundation strong enough to allow you to successfully accomplish your destiny in the world. This may include material assistance, such as supplying money and transportation, or other forms of concrete support you might need in any situation where you get shaken on a core level. For example, I had a client who decided to move to another state, but when she got there everything went wrong and her life began to fall apart. Internally, she felt like she was dying. She instinctively called a friend with this nodal position, and he immediately said: “That’s it. I’m coming to get you.” And he did. He flew out, packed her up, and drove her back to her previous home.
So if you have a crisis and need to be “rescued,” this person will always be there for you. It may not work if you try to make the relationship into anything more, but they can help you gain the internal strength and security that allows you to form other kinds of healthy relationships that fulfill different needs.
This person’s gift is to help you reinforce your inner strength by becoming more conscious of your internal foundation and core beliefs. For example, if your innate orientation to the world is philosophical or spiritual, they will increase your awareness of this foundation, either by validating or challenging the accuracy of your beliefs. Either way, the process of interacting with them will increase your confidence in your own internal base. They may argue with you in a way that exposes where you are really coming from and teaches you how to be more direct in sharing your core beliefs with others. They encourage you to open the deepest part of yourself in a way that is healthy and empowering.
Your 4th House shows the part of your underlying belief system that you use to navigate your life. For example, if on a deep, internal level you believe that money is scarce, that frame of reference influences all of your perceptions and decisions. This belief may have originated in a past life or from early childhood conditioning, but either way, it can be undermining your current financial security. For instance, due to this belief you may tend to be careless in financial situations, leading to problems you wouldn’t otherwise have.
A person with this nodal position is innately aware of your beliefs. They can see any that are based on incorrect information, and will try to help you shift them in ways that can better support your life—or they may have additional information that can shore up any weak areas. Another way they do this is to help you deal with any painful emotional experiences. Personal history and hurtful memories if not processed can hold you in a negative place, destabilize your foundation, and undermine your sense of satisfaction in life. This person is likely to elicit your stories of past painful events and help you to deal with them. When you accept their gift and allow them to help you let go of debilitating past influences—and empower you to change old beliefs that are undermining you—you will receive great benefits in your life, and simultaneously bring out the best in them.
SECURITY AND SATISFACTION—Someone with this nodal position can help you become more attuned to your inner self—what you need for security, what drives your life, and what makes you happy. This person sees you, acknowledges you, and loves you just as you are. Their awareness of who you really are on a core level validates you, increasing your attunement to your true self and giving you a secure sense of self-acceptance. In various ways, they will help you become aware of the richness you experience on a day-to-day basis and the satisfaction available to you in the life you have created.
This person’s influence can keep you from being swept up in the “rat race” and losing your sense of innate value. Their influence teaches you to “turn down the volume” on your worldly expression, slowing you down so that you add more substance to your message. They will help you strengthen your inner core so that your success out in the world does not disconnect you from your inner self. Also, they are aware of those activities that bring you joy and fulfillment and encourage you to spend time pursuing them.
Your stability and security are important to this person, and one of their gifts is to actively increase these components of your life. To this end they encourage you to build a home base that will give you peace of mind and a strong sense of safety. In fact, they are good real estate karma for you and may well be a factor that supports you purchasing your own home. They can also be a positive influence in choosing and decorating your home, buying land, or entering real estate as a business—and they would be a good real estate agent or interior decorator for you. If you buy a fixer-upper, for example, and something is an underlying major problem, they will likely be able to scout it out.
When you accept this person’s gift and allow them to help you build a strong, supportive foundation and enhance your appreciation of the bounty that you already have, you also motivate them to actively develop a more secure foundation. In this way you empower each other to experience a greater sense of personal security and the satisfaction that comes from being aware of the richness of your inner life.
NURTURANCE—It is not uncommon to have a family member whose North Node falls in your 4th House. These are people with whom you have had a family connection in a past incarnation, and you share certain unconscious core beliefs. Their presence in your life validates that you are okay—they love and accept you for who you are, regardless of your level of achievement. They are also teaching you about letting yourself be taken care of as you bring out their maternal instincts. This person is giving you the gift of strengthening your sense of belonging. With family, you don’t have to “earn the right” to be taken care of—you belong because you are one of “the tribe.” They bring you this special sort of belonging: the feeling of being included and protected regardless of your behavior. This person is also good family karma for you in other ways, and can be a positive influence in your relationships with current family members. If you need to mend a relationship within the family, this person can probably give you valuable advice.
Someone with this nodal position simultaneously evokes both the vulnerable and nurturing aspects of your own nature. They activate your maternal instincts and inspire you to feel love and protection for them. At the same time, you are willing to be vulnerable with them, and they teach you how to be open without compromising your safety. You sense that it’s your job to take care of them—that in some way they need your material, emotional, physical, or spiritual help. Others may abandon this person or deal with them on a superficial level, but you deeply understand them and care about their well-being. Even if they are your parent, you will naturally want to support and encourage them.
One reason this person has come into your life is because you need to strengthen the nurturing aspect of your nature. You will not begrudge your caretaking with this Soul—you do it willingly, as it feels correct to you. You will naturally see how to support them without creating a situation of dependency. And as you learn how to nurture this person in a healthy way, it will benefit your other relationships. In the process of receiving their gift, you can develop the caring part of your nature so that it really shines forth. And when you accept their support, you bring out the best in them.
POTENTIAL AREAS OF CONCERN—In the process of strengthening your inner core, sense of security, and nurturing nature, this person can inadvertently drain energy from your public self and your ability to achieve your external goals. They are not likely to give you good advice in terms of your profession or how to increase your status in the world. In fact, if you mention a goal, they won’t be able to hear you. But if you say, “This is what is happening and this is how I feel,” they will understand.
One of their purposes in your life is to increase your sense of security in terms of who you are and where you’re coming from within yourself. This person has the ability to really listen to you when you tell them how you feel in various situations. They will accept and validate your core feelings, even when you think they may be threatened by your responses. However, if you try to justify your position with them, you may lose them.
Although this person is great at empathizing with how you feel, when you discuss your worldly goals with them, they inevitably give you bad advice about how to achieve them. For example, my father’s North Node is in my 4th House. Although I know he loves me and sincerely has my best interests at heart, every time I follow his advice about my profession it turns out to be counterproductive. I have learned not to talk to him about my plans and goals until after they are accomplished.
BEST APPROACH—The words we use to propose things to others are so important. They reflect where we are coming from, which always determines the outcome. If a person’s North Node falls in your 4th House, one of the reasons they are in your life is to help you learn how to reach results through staying in touch with the PROCESS. If you speak to them in terms of your specific goals, they won’t be able to hear you or help you. But if you focus on your personal needs as you take the steps to reach your goals, they can hear you and are likely to be right there to support you.
For example, if you say, “I plan to take this proposal to my boss on Monday,” they probably won’t show any interest. However, if you say, “I’m taking a proposal to my boss on Monday and I really need a quiet, restful weekend to prepare,” they will probably go out of their way to arrange it for you. You have communicated the kind of support you want, and the best part of them hears you and wants to cooperate.
Sometimes we resist saying the very words that will most effectively elicit the support we need. I had a client whose father was elderly, and she needed her family to help plan his long-term care. Her sister’s North Node is in my client’s 4th House, and when she presented the problem as a goal-oriented statement—“We really need to start planning for Pop’s future care”—her sister replied: “Pop is fine. He doesn’t need our help.” All my client had to say was “I need you to help me,” and her sister would have probably responded in a positive way. It’s not arbitrary with these folks—it’s how it is presented in order for them to feel empowered to respond with support.
Someone with this nodal position is bringing you the gift of teaching you how to come from your gut and let them know exactly how they can support you. They awaken your willingness to be vulnerable with others and let them know what kind of help you need. In graciously accepting their gift, you develop the quality of humility, and simultaneously you bring out the best in them.
PAST LIFE INFLUENCES—There are no specific past life influences related to this nodal position unless a person’s North Node falls in your 4th House and their South Node conjoins one of your planets (see Part III). Then meeting them in this lifetime is truly a matter of destiny—a contract to be fulfilled—and these influences may be strongly felt.
In a past life, somehow this person supported your gaining fame in the world at the expense of your Soul’s growth. It may be that the two of you accomplished a major social or public goal that got you in some kind of trouble, or perhaps you exhibited a lot of talent at a young age, but by being pushed into the limelight too early you were unable to develop to your highest capabilities. Another example would be if as a young spiritual teacher you were encouraged to go out and teach, receiving public acclaim before you yourself had truly experienced Enlightenment—a step that would have stopped all inner growth.
Regardless of the specific circumstances, this person was responsible for you gaining fame and renown before you had the inner strength and maturity to handle it. So in this payback lifetime, they are here to help you develop a solid internal core and fortify your authentic inner being so that you can fully actualize the potential within your Soul. Consequently, they may seem to delay you, not to see your talents, or to give you bad advice in terms of presenting yourself out in the world in a successful way.
In this lifetime, they will help you develop a loving humility. Their influence detours you away from the spotlight until your inner gifts have become so solid and self-evident that they stand forth and are recognized by virtue of their innate brilliance. And this person will always let you know how valuable you are to them, even if you don’t gain fame and fortune.
When their North Node is in your 5TH HOUSE, they are bringing you the gifts of:
CREATIVITY—When someone’s North Node falls in your 5th House, they will be aware of your talents and your desire to express yourself creatively. This person will back you in actually doing something to manifest your creative ideas. This could take the form of a craft project, music, art, writing, or joining a local theater group—they will encourage any activity that stimulates your creative drive and makes you happy. They may even become actively involved, helping you to take your ideas to a higher level and making the process more fun.
This person will also teach you how to be successful in creating particular outcomes. If a part of your life has been unclear and you have been producing results that are counterproductive to your happiness, their influence will help heal that area for you. For example, you may be good at creating success in your job or profession but be unsuccessful in creating a happy romance. They can show you specifically where your creativity is not functioning properly in terms of romance, and help you get back on track.
Someone with this nodal position is giving you the gift of recognizing the value of your creativity and helping you bring it into expression. When you are receptive to their gift and take action to manifest your creative ideas, it increases the flow of Love in the relationship.
OPENING YOUR HEART/ROMANCE—Life has brought this person across your path to help you heal your heart and rekindle the spark of happiness within you. Their influence reconnects you with the innocent joy of being alive on planet Earth and inspires that part of you that seeks fun and adventure. They are teaching you how to willingly give Love and awaken to the good feelings that result.
On a deep, unconscious level, you may have been feeling unrecognized and this person is here to respond to that need—to validate your specialness and bring you the gift of romantic love energy. The way they are with you totally disarms you—your heart opens and you trust them completely, as you feel no need for defense. This feeling is not only true in romantic relationships, but with a friend or co-worker as well. The innocence of their natural responses compels you to love them in the same candid way you would love a child. They make you want to give back to them and play with them.
This person understands your romantic nature and feels drawn to help you express it by kindling your desire for a happy love affair. They will drain energy from the romantic dreams or ideals you have tried to manifest in the past and put you back in touch with the responses of your own heart. And when you learn to follow the natural movement of your heart toward whatever makes you happy, you will begin to create the success in this area that has eluded you. They have the innate understanding of what you want from romance and they want to give you those ingredients that make you happy. And in the process of accepting their gift, you also bring out the best in them.
CHILD ENERGY AND LEARNING TO PLAY—When a person’s North Node falls in your 5th House, they are also in your life to release your inner child—to teach you how to enjoy life. Their energy can naturally reconnect you with the happiness of that simple, childlike playful spirit within your own nature. They can see the ways that you inhibit your self-expression. Their influence can help to set you free in this area because they know how to get you to take risks and play with them.
However, they can also inspire you to get in touch with your inner child indirectly and under difficult circumstances. When one client’s mother passed away after a long illness, a friend with this nodal position told her: “You will miss her, but now you have a chance to find out who you really are and what you want to do in life.” This comment was a huge insight for my client and instantly put her in touch with her inner child.
If you have children, this person will be very respectful of them and supportive of the role your children play in your life. They can give you good advice about interacting with children and enhance your skills in this area.
Part of this person’s gift includes encouraging you to take more risks—to be yourself and express your own natural energy. You instinctively know that they approve of you, so you feel safe to risk being yourself. They also inspire you to take risks by becoming more involved in life. In fact, when they don’t want to take a particular risk, they may get you to do what they don’t have the energy to do, or can’t do. Usually, they know that you want to do it anyway, so they just need to nudge you a little. Someone with this nodal position can also help you strengthen your will in a positive way. When you do decide to take a risk, it is to your advantage to have the clear intention and willpower that it takes to win. This person can say the right words that inspire you to summon the determination you need to carry you through to success.
Another important reason this person has come across your path is to help you develop your “play muscle” so that your tasks take on a lighter tone and life can become more enjoyable. It’s time for you to learn how to play. They’ll have lots of ideas: “Let’s go to the ocean!” “Let’s go dancing!” If you say: “No, I can’t,” or try to get them to see the bigger picture of things that have to get done, you frustrate their gift.
Sometimes this person may evoke your sense of play by being so serious that you are forced to be playful just so you can be around them. For example, Ginger Rogers’ North Node fell in Fred Astaire’s 5th House. There was something kind of staid about Fred Astaire, and Ginger Rogers was able to bring out his playful spirit. However, it’s much more likely that you find them so endearing that it’s easy to play with them. For example, my eleven-year-old nephew has this nodal position. One night we were playing cards and I said: “Dillon, I have a lousy hand.” He replied: “Aunt Janny, I have a bad hand too.” So we both started laughing and threw our cards back!
This person can also help you get in touch with the fun you can have with games, hobbies, and indulging in particular personal pleasures that appeal to you. Their awareness of your playful nature and their appreciation of the joy you feel when you’re engaged in fun activities helps you enjoy these experiences even more. They understand your need for leisure and play and want to support you in manifesting these adventures. Usually, they are happy to leave the planning to you—even if they pay for the trip! They want you to enjoy yourself.
They are particularly good vacation karma for you. For example, I have a client whose boss has his North Node in her 5th House. She often has to go where he goes, and she’s been to Canada; New York; Washington, D.C.; and Maui. She went to Maui for one week and ended up staying for five. Each week he told her: “We didn’t finish our business and you’ll have to stay another week.” So she rented a convertible, and after work she would drive all over the island having adventures.
As you accept this person’s gift and allow them to encourage you to play, take risks, have adventures, and generate more fun in life, your demonstration motivates them to also become more playful and adventurous. In this way, you empower each other to relax, be yourselves, and enjoy the ups and downs of life on planet Earth.
POTENTIAL AREAS OF CONCERN—In the process of stimulating your creativity and your sense of play, this person may inadvertently drain energy away from your intellectual nature: your ability to see the Big Picture, your humanitarian pursuits, and your interest in esoteric forms of knowledge (New Age topics, astrology, etc.). In fact, you may feel that their knowledge and understanding of life is somewhat limiting—that they don’t really get where you are coming from or share your perspective of life. But they disarm you and you have so much fun with them that usually you don’t care.
Although this person is a good influence on your romantic relationships and your relationships with children, they may encourage you to become so involved in these special relationships that you neglect your friendships. They are also not likely to give you good advice about friendship in general, and it will be up to you to ensure that you have the time you need to keep your friendships alive. This person is here to stimulate your sense of play and increase your ability to experience the vitality of life. However, it is in your best interest to also pursue other arenas that are mentally stimulating for you.
BEST APPROACH—The words we use to propose things to others are so important. They reflect where we are coming from, which always determines the outcome. If you want something from someone with this nodal position, just approach them with a light, playful attitude and they’ll go along. Or make a game out of it.
If you try to discuss things with this person as an equal on an intellectual basis, they will probably have a hard time hearing you and won’t really follow your train of thought. In fact, you will have to approach them playfully in order to get around their habitual objections.
Just by being in your life, this person makes you happy and you make them happy—and that’s where you want to come from when you interact with them. If you think of them as a child, not as an equal, and respond to them from the child within you, you’re more likely to approach them in a way that allows the relationship to be the fun exchange it is meant to be.
When you have to confront them about something, if you can kid around with them and do it in a playful way, they are much more likely to cooperate. If you try to be serious with them, they will tend to shut down. If this happens you can usually just suggest an activity: “Let’s go to lunch and forget about it; let’s do something else.” Then their doldrums will dissolve and you may be able to approach the subject later with a lighter tone. For instance, you might tease them by saying: “Listen, I know you don’t care about this—you’re not even interested—but I’m going to show you anyway.” And if there’s something you want to do, don’t try to talk about it in an objective way, just say: “I want to go hang out with my friends; it just makes me happy.”
One of their purposes in your life is to reconnect you with your playful childlike nature, and when you accept their gift and speak to them from your inner child when dealing with any issue—“I don’t like playing this way,” or “Can’t we make this more fun?”—you automatically shift them back into the best part of themselves. Then the resolutions you find together will be much more mutually satisfying.
PAST LIFE INFLUENCES—There are no specific past life influences related to this nodal position unless a person’s North Node falls in your 5th House and their South Node conjoins one of your planets (see Part III). Then meeting them in this lifetime is truly a matter of destiny—a contract to be fulfilled—and these influences may be strongly felt.
In a past incarnation this Soul was somehow responsible for robbing you of the personal joy of your connection with a child, a love affair, or your own creative expression. They interfered with your awareness of your own natural likes and dislikes, and your individuality. They enlisted your talents and energies for their own selfish purpose, or in the name of a “higher cause” that benefited others at your expense. For example, they may have been a parent who separated you from a romantic relationship and put you in a convent or monastery for an ulterior purpose—perhaps your lover’s family wanted him to marry another for political or financial gain. Or they may have channeled your artistic talents away from the landscapes you loved to create and convinced you to paint portraits of the rich, which was more lucrative.
Whatever the specific scenario, in some way this person denied you the desires and joys of your heart. They violated your own true instincts of attraction and sacrificed the child within you, causing you to lose touch with your desires and your awareness of what makes you personally happy on a deep, heart level. And this loss may still be affecting you in this lifetime.
This person is uniquely equipped to put you back in touch with the energy of your own true attraction so you can again follow your heart by consciously recognizing what really makes you happy. This is a “payback” lifetime for them, and in some way they are destined to awaken your awareness of your heart’s guidance. They may drain energy from any “idealized dreams” you are aiming toward if these are interfering with your pursuit of the things that will make you happy on a concrete, personal level.
When their North Node is in your 6TH HOUSE, they are bringing you the gifts of:
WORK—If a person who plays a significant role in your life has their North Node in your 6th House, it’s time for you to get organized and get to work! They don’t like it when you’re not producing, and they know just the right way to help you keep your nose to the grindstone and bring projects to successful completion. Knowing this, you can learn to use their energy to your advantage. For example, one of my personal challenges is procrastination. Sometimes, even though I have a deadline, I just can’t seem to force myself to get down to work. However, if I call my friend who has this nodal position and say, “Debra, I have work to do and I’m just sitting here doing nothing,” that’s all she needs to hear. Right away she takes me to task and says the exact words that inspire me to get back to work!
This person is good work karma for you, and it is wise to listen to their advice on any issue concerning your job or profession. They are aware of how you express yourself through your work and other daily responsibilities. Their suggestions can increase your efficiency and support you in staying true to yourself and honoring your talents, so if you have any kind of work-related problem, by all means go to them and explain the situation. They can help you sort it out and will give you the insights you need to make decisions that support your goals and improve your relationships with co-workers or employees.
Someone with this nodal position is also able to spot areas where you are sabotaging yourself around work. For example, if you own a business and have tried partnering with others—perhaps with a profit-sharing plan—they will be able to see if this has created difficulties for you. If so, they can help you come up with other ideas that will benefit your business. Their influence can also increase the flow of work coming to you—sometimes in unexpected ways. One client was visiting her daughter (her North Node is in her mother’s 6th House), who was in the hospital in another state. Her daughter introduced her to everyone who came into the hospital room and told them that her mom was a gifted astrologer. It turned out that lots of appointments for readings came out of that visit. There’s no time off when you’re with someone who has this nodal position, which makes them a perfect choice to promote your work or products.
As you accept this person’s gift and allow them to increase your productivity by acting on their advice, you also inspire them to make positive changes in their own work situation. In fact, over time you will develop accurate insights that can help them out in these areas, eventually creating a relationship where you empower each other in terms of your jobs or professions and your work-related relationships.
ORGANIZATION—One of the reasons this person has crossed your path is because you need to strengthen your organizational skills at this time. They have good ideas about how to structure your time, and are a positive influence in terms of sticking to your routines. If you have lots of different activities you want to do but can’t see how to fit everything in, this is the person to consult. They can also help you by creating a system that brings the details of your life into more efficient order, or by taking care of some things for you. A person with this nodal position makes a great employee, co-worker, or employer for you, as they will validate and encourage your work efforts. They can also plan and organize things in the most efficient way—including your work environment. So they would be an especially good choice for you in terms of a secretary, accountant, personal assistant, or an architect for designing office space.
In all areas of your life, if you are having difficulty producing a particular result, this person will give you practical ideas that help you achieve your desired outcome. They can also help you to grow personally, because they see how certain shifts in your behavior can empower you and make your life more efficient and productive. They will bring order into your life through encouraging and assisting YOU to organize your business, home, and personal routines in ways that help you achieve your goals.
By accepting their gift and allowing them to help you successfully organize your life, you simultaneously bring out the best in them. Also, your example motivates them to begin actively creating more order in their own lives. In this way, you empower each other to experience the clarity and ease that results from a greater level of organization.
PROCESSING, INTEGRATION, AND FOCUS—We process intangible input in much the same way we digest food—“digesting” our experiences by integrating what is useful into our being and letting go of the rest. If a significant person has their North Node in your 6th House, they are in your life because you are ready to begin understanding and integrating your experiences on a higher level. They bring you the gift of helping you process, organize, and integrate data in a way that allows you to use it effectively in your life. And as you become more integrated internally, the situations you create in the outer world will come into greater alignment with what is healthy for you and makes you happy.
For example, under the guidance of a Past Life Regressionist with this nodal position, I connected with many past life scenarios that helped me better understand my current circumstances. I realized that some of my negative responses were based on past life memories, and were actually illogical and counterproductive in this lifetime. In one life I was stoned to death for ideas that were considered heresy in that society. I have no logical reason to fear expressing my ideas now, and yet that unconscious memory had created tremendous fear about publishing my first book—which I didn’t understand at the time.
A person with this nodal position can help you process troubling situations. If there are circumstances that are causing you to feel victimized or confused, they have the ability to give words to your apprehensions and assist you in gaining clarity. Just their presence—even as a friend or lover—has a healing influence, and as you accept and acknowledge this gift your anxieties subside. They also assist in releasing tension by helping you focus on practical steps you can take in the here and now to create productive results. They can teach you to consciously stay in the present moment—instead of the past or the future—which allows your life to become more energetic and expand in a way that empowers you to enjoy each moment more completely.
An example of this would be the Samurai of Japan. Their hyper-awareness of the present moment expands their consciousness to register even the tiniest detail within that moment—including any sounds, movement, the temperature of the breeze, and the exact position of everyone present. This ability not only creates an unbeatable warrior, but a sensual, vibrant experience of all of life. It’s as if time stops—your senses are fully awake and your experience of everything is heightened and intensified. This is an invigorating and pleasurable space for the mind, and it also creates an opening for the way of Discipleship—seeing a path that will lead to a practical application of your visions or dreams.
At an optimum level, this person’s influence can put you into that space of expanded awareness. As you accept their gift and allow their influence to help you stay in the present, your example inspires them to join you so you can both gain an expanded sense of being alive.
PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL HEALTH—This person is also in your life to positively affect your health. Sometimes they do this by being a good example—they may exercise, have a healthy diet, and thereby inspire you—or their poor health habits can remind you what NOT to do! For example, I have a friend with this nodal position and we both came down with the winter flu at about the same time. I tried to ignore it, didn’t take time to rest, and ended up with acute bronchitis that hung on for weeks. She rested, took good care of herself, and recovered quickly. I learned a better approach to my own health from her example.
Even the energy of someone whose North Node falls in your 6th House is good for your health—you feel stronger and are more inclined to adopt healthy habits just by being around them. They will also be aware of any attitudes or ideas you have that could undermine your health. So having a doctor, counselor, or other type of healer (nutritionist, acupuncturist, personal trainer, etc.) with this nodal position can be a definite asset.
This person will also be very supportive of your hobbies, because they know that having interests outside of your vocation is important in maintaining optimal health. When you are involved in a physical activity you enjoy—golf, crafts, gardening, woodworking, etc.—they are aware of how happy you are and will support this use of your time. They are even a good influence on your pets, giving you objective feedback concerning your animal companions, or helping you choose a pet you will enjoy. Any suggestion they have regarding your pets is likely to be accurate: This would be a good person to provide grooming, pet sitting, interspecies communication, veterinary care, or other healing practices for your animal friends.
Another way this person will influence your life is that in order for you to become healthier on every level, you need to become involved in work that supports your psychological well-being and increases your flow of energy. To this end, they will appreciate and encourage your desire to help those who are less fortunate, because they understand that it is healthy to look beyond personal interests and it makes you feel good about yourself. Someone with this nodal position understands the ways your talents are of help to others, and their validation strengthens your impulse to serve. In the workplace, they may recognize the subtle ways you assist others, and at home they will notice the ways in which you support loved ones.
In romance, this person has the key to helping you adjust your behaviors so that your primary relationships can be more successful. When unhealthy patterns of relating arise, they will point it out so that you can heal any dysfunctions that may have habitually gotten in the way in your close relationships. As you accept this person’s gifts by adopting healthy habits, pursuing activities that feed your life force, and healing counterproductive behaviors, you simultaneously bring out the best in them. Your example can even inspire them to enact these beneficial changes in their own life.
POTENTIAL AREAS OF CONCERN—In the process of enhancing your focus on work and active participation, this person may inadvertently drain energy from your pursuit of solitude, inner reflection, and self-renewal. Someone with this nodal position definitely won’t support you in taking downtime for rest and recuperation—to them it feels like you are wasting time. They feed you the energy that prompts you to take action! So if you are a person who needs time alone to recharge yourself on a regular basis, you will have to take responsibility to ensure that you get it.
Also, although they can help you learn to recognize self-sabotaging behaviors in terms of how they are affecting your ability to produce results and attain your goals, this person is unlikely to be aware of any underlying issues of a deeper nature. Especially if this is a close relationship, don’t count on them to recognize if you are encountering serious difficulties. In fact, if this type of situation arises it is in your best interest to consult someone else to assist you in getting beyond any profound psychological issues.
BEST APPROACH—The words we use to propose things to others are so important. They reflect where we are coming from, which always determines the outcome. If someone’s North Node falls in your 6th House, it is part of their destiny to help you develop your capacity for getting organized, making a plan, and getting the job done. So if you approach them from an analytical, work-oriented perspective, they will be able to hear you and respond to you in a positive way.
By translating your needs or wants into a practical plan of action, you give them something they can relate to. If you’re anxious about a particular situation, you can best share your feelings with them in the context of a task. For instance: “You know I have problems with commitment in relationships, and I would feel a lot less anxious if we could write down a list of our mutual goals.” By presenting fears or concerns in the form of a plan to overcome them, they will be able to hear you and support you. In fact, if this is a primary relationship, making a list of the goals you are aiming for as a couple will really help to keep things on a positive track.
In planning playtime, if you say, “I’m so exhausted; I need a vacation,” they may not be able to hear you. So instead say, “My work is slipping. I need a vacation so that I can think more clearly when I return”—then, they are likely to support you. Or you can create the downtime you need by presenting them with a concrete plan and asking for their help in implementing it: “Look, to be efficient and be at my best, I need one hour of alone time a day. Will you help me figure out how to fit that into our schedule?” Even if they are your lover or child, if you think of this person in the role of an employee, you will suddenly know how to interact with them in a balanced way that works for both of you.
PAST LIFE INFLUENCES—There are no specific past life influences related to this nodal position unless a person’s North Node falls in your 6th House and their South Node conjoins one of your planets (see Part III). Then meeting them in this lifetime is truly a matter of destiny—a contract to be fulfilled—and these influences may be strongly felt.
In a past incarnation this Soul was in some way at least partially responsible for your being imprisoned against your will. This could have been a “gilded cage” situation where you were kept as a concubine or were the wife of a wealthy man. You may have actually been in prison due to a miscarriage of justice, or shut away in a convent or monastery. But regardless of the specific scenario, you were kept away from the daily workplace. Consequently, this is a payback lifetime for this person and they are subconsciously driven to involve you in work so that you can reconnect with the power of your own material autonomy.
Due to your past journey together, they are uniquely equipped to help you develop the skills and talents that you were previously prevented from expressing. Whether this is a short-or long-term relationship, their influence can result in a healing that greatly increases your self-confidence and takes your work to a whole new level. However, if this is a partnership, because your old pattern with this Soul is so familiar, you could begin to feel like their initiative invalidates you or somehow inhibits your talents. But on a deeper level you will know it is not correct to keep these parts of yourself hidden in this lifetime. So if in the process of stimulating your work energy this person is simultaneously suppressing you in some way, your challenge is to speak up and not allow this to happen. Through this process you will reclaim previously buried parts of yourself and allow them to be revealed in new, positive ways.
When you accept this person’s gift and allow them to involve you in work projects that help you develop the skills you need to more effectively produce tangible results in the world, you are also allowing them to repay their debt. In this way it becomes a win-win situation that benefits both of you.
When their North Node is in your 7TH HOUSE, they are bringing you the gifts of:
PARTNERSHIP—If someone whose North Node falls in your 7th House comes into your life, your Soul was calling out for someone to partner with you, or to help you learn how to do partnerships successfully. It’s time to stop trying to live life by doing it on your own, and to experience the joy and support that comes from being part of a team. This person will immediately recognize your abilities in this area and be totally comfortable with establishing a partnership with you right away. They automatically want to partner with you and support you in getting what you want—and you are likely to feel the same way. They inspire you to be generous with them and to share what you have. They want to create a kind of co-dependency with you—doing everything together as a team. So when you say, “Let’s do this together!” they usually say, “Yes!” and a happy, mutually beneficial partnership is formed in which you are both sensitive to what the other person needs in order to feel supported.
You will see their gifts and feel inspired to activate your own talents. For instance, if you have always wanted to sing, dance, create art, etc., this relationship may create an opening for you to begin performing together. In fact, one of the reasons this person is in your life is to help you fulfill some of your personal dreams in situations where you may not have had the motivation or opportunity to do it on your own.
For example, I had a close friend with this nodal position who was a gifted Tarot card reader. Because of his nodal position I was objectively aware of his talents and could see that his philosophy was very healing for people. So I was inspired to combine my talents with his and we co-created a board game, Psychic Connection, which had an incredibly positive effect on those who played it.
Whether this person is your child, co-worker, parent, friend, or mate, their energy is automatically going to teach you how to “do relationships correctly.” They may teach you in a positive way, or through their negative example. I have a client whose father has this nodal position. He was mostly absent during the important moments of her life, and she learned that this causes relationships to NOT work. Now she makes a conscious effort to be present in her important relationships so that she can create results that are different from what she experienced with her father. But he did teach her—in a backward way—how to do relationships successfully.
This person is good relationship karma for you, and will have a positive effect on all your other relationships and partnerships. They would be a great relationship counselor for you, as they can give you good advice about how to handle your interactions with others. And because the 7th House also rules the public, they could successfully act as an agent or coach to increase your effectiveness in relating to the public.
PRIMARY RELATIONSHIPS—A romantic partner with this nodal position will really let you know that you are loved. They innately know the best way to let you see how special you are to them and to make you feel good about yourself. In fact, they may go around telling everyone: “This is the man/woman of my dreams!” When you first meet this person, it’s likely that they will immediately decide that you are the right person for them and want to move in with you right away and begin a life together—long before you even know how you feel about them. But they will be generous with you, and their influence inspires you to open your heart to them. You may also feel you have met your perfect mate. They are bringing you the gift of showing you the potential of creating the kind of primary relationship you have always wanted—a dream come true!
With this nodal position, one of their purposes in your life is to help you become more aware of how you interact with others. They are aware of your needs in partnership and want to do everything with you. They are teaching you about true reciprocal support and how to be a good partner. Something about their energy stimulates your desire for partnership and makes you open to learning from them.
This person is bringing you the gift of objectively being aware of another and allowing yourself to love them even though you see their flaws. And because you are so deeply aware of this person’s identity, issues of enmeshment may arise. In fact, you may feel so much love for them that you act counter to your intuition and your own internal limits. However, part of successfully receiving their gift is learning how to prevent this from happening. A strong team is based on two people maintaining their own identity.
As you accept their gift of themselves as a significant other you will learn about the potential and joys of primary relationships. And when you allow them to teach you about partnership and cooperation, you bring out the best in them. In fact, it may become a mutual learning experience as you find patterns of unconscious co-dependency that need to be addressed. Then you can work together to heal these dysfunctions so you can experience the joys of a healthy, interdependent primary relationship.
COOPERATION AND DIPLOMACY—When a significant person in your life has their North Node in your 7th House, one of the reasons the Universe has brought them across your path is because you need to enhance the qualities of cooperation, tact, and diplomacy in your personality. It’s time for you to become more aware of the individuality of others and to learn new ways of interacting so that your relationships can be more successful. Because you are instinctively sensitive to this person, you are naturally more tactful and cooperative with them. This is one way you learn—through your interactions with them—how to relate to others more smoothly.
Someone with this nodal position will develop your ability to be diplomatic and help you to become a team player just by virtue of how they interact with you. Their influence is teaching you patience, tolerance, increased awareness of others, and the art of healthy cooperation. They are helping you learn when it is correct to put the other person first.
Also, your response to being confronted in one-on-one relationships will change, as you won’t feel threatened by this person in a way that evokes defensiveness. If they are upset, you will naturally respond with a “let’s work it out together” approach rather than being combative. In fact, you are likely to never be harsh with this person. As you graciously receive their gift of Love and allow them to help you become more cooperative, diplomatic, and tactful in your relationships, a channel will open for a greater flow of Love between you.
INTEGRITY AND DISCRIMINATION—A person with this nodal position will help you break the habit of projecting your identity onto others. In relationships, it’s important to recognize who the other person really is so that your decisions are based on accurate information. This is vital, because a person will always take action in accordance with their own true identity. So it is to your advantage to understand that the character flaws you see in this person will indeed impact your relationship. This is where your integrity comes into play: Rather than ignore red flags, it is important to be honest with yourself and acknowledge them. Then you can decide whether you can accommodate that quality, if you want to ask the other person if it is something they are willing to change.
For example, regardless of the image they present to others, if this person is dishonest with money, you will see that quality in them. And that dishonesty—rather than any idealistic expectations you may have—will, in the end, be what dictates their behavior, because it is part of their identity—unless they consciously decide to change it. Also, if they are giving you mixed messages, pay attention to that: Let their influence help you learn to trust your own instincts about what you observe in others—without judgment, but with an objective appraisal of who they really are as an individual. Then you can use discrimination and partner with people whose character is truly compatible with your own.
This person is not only making you aware of how they are, but of how they need you to be in order for the relationship to work at an optimal level. They are bringing you the gift of opening your sensitivity to “the other.” However, this can lead to so much forgiveness for them that you avoid giving them a true picture of yourself. You understand them so deeply that you may compromise your own integrity in order to avoid saying anything that will hurt them. The challenge here is to communicate the truth of what you feel in a loving way that validates the relationship. For example: “For our trust and closeness to really thrive, we need to follow through by calling each other when we say we will.” They are helping you recognize that the success of any relationship will depend not only on the other person’s integrity, but on yours as well. And tactfully sharing your ideas with them about what works in terms of team integrity can also help them to grow.
Another gift that someone with this nodal position gives you is to help you overcome any judgmental tendencies that may have been blocking your involvement with others. They open the doorway for you to love someone unconditionally because of your ability to see them more clearly and understand them on a deeper level than others do. You see the best in them, and they inspire you to love them, even if they don’t match the image of someone to whom you would normally be attracted.
POTENTIAL AREAS OF CONCERN—In the process of this person bringing energy into your area of partnership, they may inadvertently drain energy from you as an individual. Even though they may not say this or even believe it, somehow their influence makes you feel that the team is the key to your success as an individual, and that supporting the team is the same as supporting yourself.
In fact, the biggest danger in this relationship is loss of your own identity. You work so well with them that you could have a tendency to become co-dependent. In the process of partnering so quickly with you, they may unintentionally deprive you of your independence and the time alone that you need to nurture your own identity. The results can be that you end up feeling depleted and “off course” in terms of your own life.
If this person is a child who eventually moves out on their own, they may have a tough time letting go and are likely to try to create a co-dependent relationship with you. But one of their gifts is to teach you how to do healthy relationships—so if they try to become co-dependent, they need you to stay in touch with your independence and figure out how to maintain the relationship without losing your sense of self. Whether this person is a friend, spouse, child, sibling, or co-worker, in order to keep the relationship healthy and have it be of mutual advantage, it is important that you take time alone on a regular basis so you can keep yourself strong and remember who you are as a separate autonomous being. Someone with this nodal position will take energy out of the context of “me” and put energy into the context of “us” on such a broad scope that they are not likely to give you good advice in terms of your clothing, hairstyle, or any other area having to do with your personal appearance. They are not a particularly good influence on your physical body, and probably not the best choice for a doctor, cosmetician, or help with your wardrobe.
BEST APPROACH—The words we use to propose things to others are so important. They reflect where we are coming from, which always determines the outcome. Because this person is in your life to strengthen your ability to form and maintain partnerships and other relationships, you will get the best results when you relate to them in terms of “we.” If you put the accent on “self”—who you are and your own personal needs—they won’t be able to hear you. But in seeking to affect outcomes, if you present the same issue to them in the form of what is good for “us,” you are much more likely to be successful. They will be able to hear you and support you, because when you speak in the context of the “relationship,” you tap into the part of their basic nature that wants to support the team.
For example, if you tell them, “I want to go to this concert,” they will probably resist your plan. But if you say, “Let’s go to the concert together,” they are likely to be happy to go with you. Of if you say, “I need more time alone,” they won’t “hear” you and may feel hurt or rejected. However, if you say, “I think it will enrich our relationship if we plan things in a way that supports my having more alone time,” they will probably be happy to help you get the time you need.
Whenever you need to communicate with this person, their level of cooperation will be determined by the way you present things and your response to them. So rather than say, “I want you to start doing the dishes at night,” say “I think it would give us more time to spend together if you take on the task of doing the dishes each night.” And as you tune in to their identity on a deeper level, they may request that you phrase things in a different way so they can respond more positively. For instance, they may say, “I’d rather you use the words ‘I need you to do the dishes each night.’” They will tell you what works for them, and your natural sensitivity to them will hear what they are saying. By giving them what they need from you in order for them to be cooperative, a channel for Love and mutual support will open between you.
PAST LIFE INFLUENCES—There are no specific past life influences related to this nodal position unless a person’s North Node falls in your 7th House and their South Node conjoins one of your planets (see Part III). Then meeting them in this lifetime is truly a matter of destiny—a contract to be fulfilled—and these influences may be strongly felt.
In a significant relationship, this is likely a Soul who in a past lifetime deprived you of the benefits of their support. They somehow pushed you to be on your own and develop your independence at the expense of having healthy relationships with others. They may have singled you out as “different” from the rest of the tribe, or used your persona to benefit themselves in some way. Whatever the specific scenario, they were responsible for your feeling apart from others—ostracized and deprived of normal relationships—contrary to your personal desires.
This was deeply hurtful to you in ways that may still be affecting you in this incarnation. So this is a payback lifetime for this person, and their contract is to bring you the gift of a happy partnership—either through becoming your partner or mate or in some way being an influence that attracts a suitable partner to you. Another way they may repay their debt to you is by teaching you how to reconnect with others in ways that are more harmonious than you could have ever experienced before they entered your life.
They have a unique ability to be a catalyst that heals you of feelings of loneliness, isolation, and forced independence when you link with their energy. Their job is to know you so well that they connect you with others on a level that reestablishes your experience of belonging and being part of the whole. In fact, through this person’s influence you are destined to create relationships that are deeper and more fulfilling.
When their North Node is in your 8TH HOUSE, they are bringing you the gifts of:
SOUL MATE RELATIONSHIPS—When a significant person enters your life and their North Node falls in your 8th House, it’s time for you to bring an increased awareness of the value and needs of others into your personality. You will likely feel that there is already a strong natural affinity between you because they are here to teach you about Soul Mate relationships—how they work and how to do them correctly. Soul Mate relationships, whether personal or business partnerships, occur when two people merge their energy and resources on a very profound level in order to reach a common goal. Combining with someone in this way is very empowering, and allows you to achieve much greater success than either of you could accomplish on your own.
Doing things with this person is easy, as there is a natural emotional rapport and similarity of purpose. For example, I have a client whose boyfriend’s North Node is in her 8th House. In doing the landscaping of their new home, they discussed everything, taking time to share their unique perspectives. In this process they became more patient as individuals and as a couple in terms of making joint decisions that reflected each person’s values. They learned how to figure things out together in a way that made use of both partners’ talents and resources, and the results they produced far surpassed what either could have achieved alone.
This person will teach you about the advantages of partnership—how to be supportive and combine your resources with another in a healthy way. They won’t let you get away with old self-defeating behaviors you may have around relationships. They see past any unconscious blocks and will not acknowledge any barriers to joining with you—they just keep moving forward. They have a deep understanding of your psychology, and trust develops as you sense the innate feelings of forgiveness and empathy between you. This allows you to be yourself and still experience the benefits of an emotionally and financially interdependent relationship. When this is a union between mates, the sexual aspect is often blessed with a depth of emotion that makes the relationship a source of well-being on all levels. They are bringing you the gift of understanding that sex can be a pathway to deep emotional bonding and mutual nurturing.
Although someone with this nodal position will create a bond with you that makes you feel that you can be far more successful partnering with them than you could ever be without them, you may also feel that many of your own values and your sense of independence have to take a backseat in order to join with them. And while it is generally true that you must work with their idea, project, or business in order for the team to produce positive results, their energy opens you to understand what about them is innately valuable and feel inspired to combine with them. And as you recognize their talents and potential, you can also see that they need your energy and abilities to help promote them in the larger world. When they share an idea about something they want to create, you are immediately aware of how you can contribute and how by working together you can create a success that is in alignment with their values as well as your own.
This person is also teaching you about humility, in terms of accepting others’ resources to help further your own aims. They will awaken your desire to merge with another, and they will give you the energy you need to accomplish things together. They will inspire you to want to help them with their project or dream. As you validate their life goals and accept their gift of blending energy, you bring out the best in them and your influence motivates them to actively appreciate your value.
MERGING RESOURCES—Life also brought this person across your path because you need to develop a greater understanding of how to share your resources with another in a healthy way. If you are overly attached to keeping your money separate and don’t know how to share, they can help you to heal this pattern. Or if you have had a tendency to share your resources without first establishing proper boundaries, their influence will support you gaining greater wisdom in this area. They can also teach you the appropriate way to accept others sharing their resources with you.
One way they will help you learn how to share money is through their example. They often view their money as “joint money,” and will usually suggest that you take care of the finances, even if they are contributing more. They are very supportive of you having the resources you need to develop and use your talents or gifts. Their impulse toward you is truly to benefit you, because on some deep level they identify with you. So it is unlikely that there will be any strings attached to their giving—they just assume you are both working toward the same goal. This person is also good inheritance karma for you. They often appreciate your service or connection to them more than you know, and may end up leaving you money. Because the 8th House also rules inheritance and taxes, someone with this nodal position would be a good tax consultant or tax attorney for you.
The issue of money can be a tricky one. This person is not likely to increase your money if you give them total responsibility for it. It is only when you jointly invest money and energy and share in making the decisions that the financial potential of this union can flourish. For example, I had a stock broker whose North Node was in my 8th House, and I lost $4,200 of the $5,000 that I invested with him in two and a half weeks! However, the 8th House does have to do with investment and business opportunities, so if they bring something to your attention for you to mutually invest in and you feel excited about it, go for it! Working together, you are likely to create a product or service that yields substantial profits. Just remember that it is a matter of JOINT finances and responsibility for guiding the venture toward a mutually agreed goal. And in matters of shared finances, it usually works out better when you are the one who takes care of the money.
MAINTAINING APPROPRIATE BOUNDARIES—A person with this nodal position will teach you what does and doesn’t work in terms of Soul Mate relationships—sometimes in painful ways. And you will find that one thing that doesn’t work is ignoring your boundaries. It is important that you don’t become so bonded with another that you lose sight of your own values and what’s important to you. The crucial thing with this person is to be sure about the goal of your relationship or joint project before making a commitment. If you are both dedicated to the same aim and consider it valuable to the same degree, then you can safely merge your energies and create success—in business or in a personal partnership. However, it will still be important not to surrender leadership to them. To receive their gift properly, you need to continue to participate in guiding your mutual efforts.
This can be a difficult nodal position in a parent/child relationship if the parent’s North Node is in the child’s 8th House. An “overbonding” can occur that results in the child having difficulty bonding with others because of the close connection (for good or ill) with the parent. It may be a challenge for the child to establish their own individual identity and gain a sense of self-worth apart from the parent. One way to counter this tendency is for the child to make two lists: one of the parent’s personality and character qualities, and the second of their own individual personality and character traits.
Sometimes if the child feels a strong aversion to a certain quality in the parent, it is a sign that the opposite quality is part of their own true nature. For example, if the child especially hates it when the parent lies, it may indicate that the child innately values truth. Then if they consistently tell the truth, their own identity will be validated and strengthened. If the child is an adult, this process of self-definition is their own responsibility. However, when a child is still young, it is the parent’s job to help them form their own identity and learn to set appropriate boundaries. The parent will need to consciously validate the child’s ability to develop their own opinions and tastes and make good decisions for themselves.
INSIGHT, EMPOWERMENT, AND TRANSFORMATION—A significant person whose North Node is in your 8th House will renew your life force with a level of intense energy that fuels your ability to change and grow. Their influence opens you to core emotional, sexual, and psychic energies that can act as gateways for profound transformational and regenerative experiences. They heal you by transforming your values and expanding your sense of what’s important. This includes helping to free you from any self-imposed limits on your behavior. For example, I had a client whose roommate had this nodal position. My client had always been obsessive about having a clean house. It was a ritual she thought she had to maintain in order to feel good about herself. But due to her roommate’s influence, her values have changed. Because she noticed her roommate taking naps, now she takes a nap after work instead of compulsively cleaning house. As a result, she’s healthier, happier, and more relaxed.
Someone with this nodal position really sees and appreciates your talents and resources, and they automatically support and encourage you to use your gifts in ways that will be socially validated. They want to combine with you and stimulate your power so that you experience greater fearlessness and your accomplishments can reflect the changes you’ve made on a core level. They also bring you the gift of increasing your understanding of your own unconscious motives so that you can live your life with fewer psychological hindrances. Sometimes they do this by virtue of their own dysfunctions, in that seeing their incongruencies alerts you to your own subconscious, self-sabotaging beliefs about life and relationships.
You will also become aware of any expectations you hold that are blocking you from using your power to renew your own life. This person’s presence opens you to truly understanding the psychology of another, which stimulates a deep and honest level of self-reflecting. This empowers you to become aware of your own unconscious psychological beliefs and objectively look at whether they support you or are actually undermining your life. For instance, another client’s roommate had this nodal position, and my client was acutely aware that her roommate was operating from the expectation that “Someday a man will come and rescue me and then my life will be wonderful.” But my client knew that was never going to happen. Her roommate was an older woman who never went out, and was living her life in a way that guaranteed her dream wouldn’t come true. Then my client took a closer look at herself: “Am I doing the same thing? What am I waiting for? What is really going to happen if I don’t go out and make it happen?”
This person can help you unlock some of the psychological “stuff”—including your unconscious motives and needs—that you’ve had in bonded relationships, so that you can see what you’ve done in the past that has been destructive. This includes self-defeating behaviors that may have been with you for a lifetime and have unconsciously blocked you from having a successful bonded relationship. They may push the same “buttons” as people in your past, but when they do it, you become aware of your own responses in a way that empowers you to change. For example, maybe your habitual response when others disagree with you has been to become silent, and over time this has led to you not sharing your own truth with anyone. But when this person disagrees with something you’ve said, you suddenly recognize that your response is to get quiet, and you see how this reaction has been diminishing every area of your life. Just this awareness will begin to transform your behavior.
Someone with this nodal position is also bringing you the gift of a deeper perception of the “shadow side” of life. Their presence inspires you to investigate different realms of energy, such as psychology, the occult, metaphysics, or physics. One of the reasons Life brought this person across your path at this time is because you need to incorporate increased awareness of your own psychology into your personality. In graciously accepting their gift, you simultaneously bring out the best in them.
POTENTIAL AREAS OF CONCERN—In the process of encouraging you to bond with them and participate in joint ventures, this person inadvertently draws energy away from your ability to do things on your own and any plans you had for your own life. They want to be your Soul Mate in every area of life and do everything with you. In fact, they may not see your value apart from how you join with them—and together you do make a formidable combination. However, before linking with them too closely, make sure that your values are compatible and that their potential is something you are willing to support wholeheartedly. If so, you both will win. But if their values are not truly compatible with yours, it is better for you to not get involved.
Someone with this nodal position inspires such a “let’s do it together” feeling that you may forget about the things you want to accomplish as an individual. So if you have projects of your own, it will be up to you to ensure that you have the time, space, and energy you need to pursue them. And when you do try to achieve results in your own way, don’t expect this person to give you any support, praise, or validation. They won’t tend to feed you energy unless you are using your talents to advance one of your joint projects, nor are they likely to carry out your requests. However, if you choose to share your ideas and incorporate their input, together you can achieve striking results that are greater than either of you could have achieved on your own.
Also, any time you want to make a major change in your life and need support, you can call on this person. If they can see that by making the change and dealing with the resulting crisis you will experience transformation and renewal, they will help in any way they can. For instance, if you are leaving an unhealthy marriage, they will even come and help you move. They totally support you living on the edge, but will never support you in maintaining a situation that, while it may be comfortable, has become stagnant (in their opinion). Nor will they be particularly supportive of you acquiring new possessions—and they are definitely not able to give you good advice about your own money.
Another thing to be aware of is that this person may give you their gift in a backhanded way—i.e., they may teach you how to bond by withholding the bond you seek. For example, I had a client whose father’s North Node was in her 8th House, and he was absent during most of her childhood and adult life. Her deep loneliness in missing that connection with him eventually led her to marry an older man, much like her father, who did give her the experience of bonding and deep love. These lessons in bonding can be quite complex and involve many different factors. For instance, if you have had problems with enmeshment and co-dependency in a past life, this person may help you learn to bond correctly by refusing to bond with you in any way that would reinforce these unhealthy experiences—a gift that releases you from the karmic pattern of not having appropriate boundaries.
BEST APPROACH—The words we use to propose things to others are so important. They reflect where we are coming from, which always determines the outcome. In dealing with someone with this nodal position, it will help to remember that their purpose is to be a Soul Mate with you—in sexual bonding, in a project, in business, or in terms of money—and to teach you how to do Soul Mate relationships correctly. So your best approach is to put everything in the context of “we” rather than “me.”
For example, instead of saying, “I need you to stop offering me snacks in the evening because I’m gaining weight,” a better approach would be: “For us to keep our chemistry going, we need to help me maintain my proper weight by not having snacks after 6 P.M.” Whenever you put things in terms of “I need,” this person won’t be able to hear you. But when you begin with “I think it would be good for us to…” or “We need…” you will trigger the best in them and they are likely to be receptive.
As you discover that there are things that are important to you that your partner doesn’t value, their influence teaches you to take care of those needs on your own. In fact, part of having a healthy Soul Mate relationship has to do with getting your own needs fulfilled rather than expecting your partner to meet all of your needs all of the time. In terms of effective communication that will evoke support for your actions, again you will need to keep the focus on “us” rather than “me.” For instance, if you say, “I need to go to the movies alone tonight,” they will probably resist you or interpret it as a personal slight. However, if you say, “I think it would be good for our relationship if I take some time alone and go to the movies tonight,” they are more likely to support you. If you want them to go with you, try saying: “I think it would be just what our relationship needs if we take some time off and go to the movies tonight.”
PAST LIFE INFLUENCES—There are no particular past life influences relative to this nodal position unless a person’s North Node falls in your 8th House and their South Node conjoins one of your planets (see Part III). Then meeting them in this lifetime is truly a matter of destiny—a contract to be fulfilled—and these influences may be strongly felt.
In a past life, it is likely that this Soul withheld their resources from you in some way, creating a situation where you had to develop your talents and moneymaking abilities on your own. It could have been that they kept you from prospering in a business relationship with them; they may have been a parent who abandoned you as a child; or they may have been a mate who withheld the joys of intimacy from you. Regardless of the specific scenario, they were responsible for forcing you to become self-reliant in a way that was not healthy for you, and deprived you of the experience of being in a bonded, mutually empowering relationship. This resulted in a psychic injury that you may have brought into this lifetime, creating an exaggeration of self-sufficiency due to your fear of trusting a bond with another.
So this is a payback lifetime for this person and they are uniquely equipped to heal that past wound by bringing you the gift of themselves—their energy, ideas, resources, talents, and values—all for you to use by combining with them. When this person enters your life, you will immediately see what is special and worthwhile about them in a way that inspires you to link closely with them and help them manifest their goals. Then they can give you back your power from that past life, and you will rediscover how potent you actually are in terms of manifesting things in the material world.
The first time you meet this person (in this lifetime), you may feel tremendous desire combined with deep mistrust. But when you see their willingness to share everything with you so freely, you could become overly excited, blindly accept the bond that had been denied you for so long, and just begin living your life with them. The challenge is to slow down and determine how their values and goals actually fit with what is important to you. Then you can make good decisions that can help you build successful results that are mutually satisfying.
Once you have received their gift and reclaimed your ability to merge with another in ways that revitalize and empower you, you can continue building with them—if your values are indeed compatible—or go out on your own. Either way, you will have gained an awareness of your ability to do what you truly value in the world and have a whole new level of energy, self-confidence, and determination.
When their North Node is in your 9TH HOUSE, they are bringing you the gifts of:
ETHICS AND LEGAL MATTERS—When someone’s North Node falls in your 9th House, this person has come across your path because you need to refine your understanding of how ethics work in order for your life to become stronger. Often we are completely unconscious of our unethical behavior. Sometimes tendencies from past lives emerge, and we repeat old patterns of unethical behavior without even realizing it. Naturally, this attracts defeat in the area of our life where it’s occurring. Then we wonder why we have such a difficult time manifesting those things that are most important to us, when we actually may be pushing good fortune away with our unconscious “lies.” Another way this can happen is if you continue to ignore your conscience, eventually it becomes silent relative to that particular act. For example, the first time someone steals, their conscience clearly tells them that they are “off path.” However, if they continue to steal, their conscience becomes dimmer with each repeated offense, and by about the fourth time, they don’t “hear” it at all.
Either way, this person is good karma for you in terms of helping you straighten out your ethics. For example, in this lifetime I have experienced a lot of emotional pain in romance. I truly didn’t understand what I was doing “wrong” until life sent me a boyfriend with this nodal position. As the relationship progressed I realized that I wasn’t really in love with him. But with this person, rather than hide that fact—from myself and from him—I was honest about it. He didn’t like it, but for the first time I was not guilty of the unethical behavior of feigning emotion in romance. Through the influence of his energy I saw where I was “off path” and began correcting my unethical behavior—and my “luck” in this area changed dramatically.
This person is also good legal karma for you, and will teach you how to interact with the law in a way that will be successful over time. Their presence can help you straighten out any legal matters that may be pending, possibly even bringing an old legal matter to light so that it can be permanently resolved. So having a qualified attorney whose North Node is in your 9th House would be ideal. In terms of Universal Law, ethical congruency builds power. When you give your word and keep it, the integrity of that action eliminates the disabling shadow of discrepancy between word and deed. The Universe notices the integrity of an absolute commitment to ethical behavior, and by consistently keeping your word, your word continues to become stronger over time. Eventually, when you say you’re going to do something, your word becomes “law,” and Life itself supports you by bringing opportunities for your word to manifest.
This person is bringing you the gift of Love by opening the way for you to expand your power through increasing your commitment to ethical behavior. As you accept their gift and allow them to help you become more honest and direct with others, your example also motivates them to begin speaking more honestly. You have the potential to build a relationship with this person based on communicating your deepest feelings and inner Truth—one that can reach new depths of mutual understanding.
FREEDOM AND ADVENTURE—In astrology, the 9th House is freedom. On the physical level, this is the freedom to take long trips. Socially, it’s the freedom to disagree with social mores and be an adventurer. Mentally, it can open an awareness of higher truths, bringing the freedom to see that there is a bigger picture than what we normally observe in our daily lives. With their North Node in your 9th House, one of this person’s purposes is to help you expand your experience of freedom. They will prompt you to grow by exploring unfamiliar places—either physically, through travel to foreign countries, or mentally, through exploring new concepts, philosophies, and religions.
Someone with this nodal position is fabulous travel karma for you. If you were thinking of taking a long trip, they would be a great travel companion or travel agent. They would definitely connect you with exciting places that fit both your taste and your pocketbook. In fact, this person will be very receptive to any kind of adventure you have in mind. For example, if you present a work project as a joyous adventure, they will be excited for you and support you all the way, possibly even wanting to be part of it.
They are in your life to keep you from getting stuck and to nurture you in expanding your horizons. One way they may do this is by offering financial or moral support to help you pursue a degree through higher education. They will also enlarge your viewpoint by encouraging you to attend cultural or religious events, and go to museums, plays, etc. Or through their own background they may introduce you to a whole new cultural experience. You are ready to learn and grow by seeing life as an adventure from a wider point of view, and this person was drawn to you to help you realize your potential in this way. As you accept their gift by allowing them to open your life in unexpected ways, you also bring out the best in them. Your example motivates them to begin expressing more freedom in their own life, and you empower each other to experience more expansiveness and joy beyond your everyday circumstances.
PURPOSEFUL ACTION—Another important influence this person has in your life is to help you focus on using your time to pursue meaningful activities. One way they may do this is by helping you become more aware of time. For instance, I had a client whose girlfriend had this nodal position. She would say things like: “Since you have to leave by 5:00, we won’t have time for our walk this evening.” In this way she increased his consciousness in terms of whether he was using his time in a way that allowed for activities that were important to him.
Their presence prompts you to channel energy into purposeful action instead of just “passing time” in less meaningful ways. This can happen through their direct encouragement and positive example, or in reverse. For instance, their enjoyment of mundane activities (reading the newspaper, watching television, spending time on the Internet, etc.) can rouse you to engage in some type of purposeful activity on your own.
This person is also good karma for you in terms of publishing and public speaking, encouraging you to grow by taking the risk of bringing your ideas to a wider audience. They have the ability to accurately discern which of your ideas could be successfully promoted to the public, and are likely to use their talents to help you with distribution. In fact, someone with this nodal position would be a great agent for helping you promote your ideas to a more extensive market—perhaps even internationally. And as you accept their gift and allow them to support you in using your time more consciously and sharing your ideas with the public, you simultaneously bring out the best in them. Your victory becomes their victory.
SPIRITUAL GROWTH—If someone with a significant role in your life has their North Node in your 9th House, it’s time for you to grow spiritually and integrate a greater attunement to a Higher Truth into your personality. This person can be a guru for you in the sense that their energy puts you directly in touch with your own inner knowing of Truth and helps you transition onto a spiritual path. This may happen in a variety of ways. You may be inspired by their example, or they might introduce you to a particular teaching that has meaning to you. Even if they are not on a spiritual path, or if you disagree with their belief system, their presence in your life will in some way increase your awareness of your own beliefs and strengthen and validate your philosophies. They may also bring you opportunities to demonstrate your spirituality—not only “talking the talk,” but “walking the walk.” Through their influence you will become more aware of spiritual help you can link with in your daily life.
They will always support your freedom, so even if you accept their teaching, they will not allow you to become dependent on them. They will encourage you to listen to your own conscience and intuition to direct your life, and through their influence you will become more reliant and trusting of your own intuitive knowing. In fact, they will prompt you to turn away from too much thinking and have more faith in positive outcomes. Their optimism will definitely have a soothing effect on you emotionally and help to restore your basic trust in life.
Someone with this nodal position can also help you in your search for meaning and answers. If there is a moral issue you have been pondering, this person can add insights that will help you better understand the higher ethics involved. In any confusing situation with others, they are often able to help you see “the forest for the trees.” For instance, maybe you are having a problem at work with someone who is gossiping about you or undermining you in some way. If you consult someone with this nodal position, they can put you in touch with a path to a more enlightened resolution. They may say: “Simply tell the Truth, be direct, and stay in the Light.” Their influence will take you beyond intellectual or logical understanding to a direct feeling/knowing experience of higher spiritual answers to the problems that arise in your daily life.
They are also bringing you the gift of encouraging you to be more direct and honest in your communication than you may have been in other relationships. Direct, spontaneous communication works best with this person, and exhibiting this trait with them creates a channel for greater Love to flow between you. In the process of accepting their gifts by growing spiritually and becoming more open to your intuition, your example motivates them to begin actively pursuing their own spiritual growth. In this way you empower each other to attain greater heights.
POTENTIAL AREAS OF CONCERN—When you turn on a lamp that is plugged into an electrical outlet, you are drawing power from one place (the power lines coming into the home) and rerouting it to another place (the lamp). In the same way, someone with this nodal position draws energy out of the normal day-to-day process and the easy flow of conversation about daily life and focuses it on connecting you with your own integrity and Higher Truth. As a result, factual conversations about the realities of daily life aren’t easy or natural with this person. They are not really interested in exploring what you are thinking about or your logical conclusions; their job is about expanding your mind to a point of view that is larger than just “you and them.” When conversation happens, it is more likely to be around looking for higher answers or spiritual and ethical solutions to life’s problems.
In terms of daily living, the two of you may not quite “click”—even if they’re the love of your life. You may have different lifestyles, enjoy different activities, and use time in different ways. For example, you might prefer to debate and explore ideas, while your partner prefers to withdraw or watch television. If this person is your primary partner, in order for the relationship to succeed you will both need plenty of space and private time to pursue your own interests. Then at the end of the day you can come together and share your feelings about what you have accomplished or experienced.
In other areas, it is important to understand that this person is not particularly good school karma for you. Even though they may help you in terms of pursuing higher education that leads to a degree, they will probably not see the value of taking a class just because it’s an area of interest. And they may inadvertently give you bad advice about your schoolwork or classes. For instance, they might recommend a course of study that is not really aligned with your best interests. Also, although they are a good influence on distributing your ideas to a wider audience, they may not give you good advice about the process of writing itself, or about how to further develop your ideas. Nor are they likely to give you good advice in the areas of sales, teaching, short trips, or issues involving neighbors.
BEST APPROACH—The words we use to propose things to others are so important. They reflect where we are coming from, which always determines the outcome. If you approach someone whose North Node falls in your 9th House logically and try to change their point of view, they will probably not be able to “hear” you. But if you speak directly from your intuition or your own Truth, they are more likely to be supportive.
For example, if you say, “Look—logically, I can’t hold down a full-time job, come home, make dinner, AND keep up the yard,” you may well meet with emotional resistance because you are speaking from a logical, problem-oriented point of view. However, if you say, “Look—intuitively, I feel that things would work a lot better if you start making dinner during the week,” they will probably be far more receptive. You have spoken in terms of a solution, rather than phrasing it as a problem. Also, if you present things to them in terms of options or choices, again you are likely to meet with resistance. Asking “Would you rather go to a movie tonight or go out to dinner?” may not yield good results, because you’ve given them a choice and they will probably feel frustrated. However, by saying, “Would you like to go to dinner at the Thai place tonight?” they are likely to go along with you since you have presented a plan in the spontaneity of the moment.
Someone with this nodal position is bringing you the gift of teaching you to take the initiative and follow the next happy adventure that feels exciting to you. And when you present your desires to them in that way—without “logic” or mental manipulation—they can hear you and will feel inclined to give you what you want. For instance, “Let’s go for a walk in the woods and enjoy this beautiful day.” Or, if this is a child: “Molly, first clean up your room and then we’ll go to the mall.” And as you accept their gift by learning to present your desires directly in the form of a plan or solution, a channel opens that increases the flow of Love between you.
PAST LIFE INFLUENCES—There are no particular past life influences relative to this nodal position unless a person’s North Node falls in your 9th House and their South Node conjoins one of your planets (see Part III). Then meeting them in this lifetime is truly a matter of destiny—a contract to be fulfilled—and these influences may be strongly felt.
Most likely you shared a past life with this Soul where they supported unethical behavior on your part that resulted in mutual gain—at the expense of your having clear thinking and success in future lives. For example, maybe you had a financial scheme that was out of integrity but made a lot of money where they supported you—either actively or passively—and shared in the profits. If you abused money in that lifetime, in future lives your thinking would be shrouded with confusion about money. This may have led you to make mistakes with investments and to generally have bad judgment in this area, resulting in your accumulating far less wealth than your talents merited.
The above example involves money, but by observing the area in this lifetime where you experience confusion that leads to painful misjudgments, you will know what type of unethical behavior occurred in a past life. And because this person participated in some way in that behavior, this is a payback lifetime for them, and they are uniquely equipped to be an instrument of your healing. Their contract is to actively intercede and help you make a spiritual and/or ethical shift so that you will be healed from the confusion and wrong action that has created negative results for you. So they will not be lulled to sleep by the adroit presentation of your logic. They have the innate ability to “see” any “ethical glitches” you might have so that they can reacquaint you with the importance of your conscience and the power that consistent right action can bring to your life.
Among other possible connections, this person may have been your brother or sister in a past life, which could create an underlying “sibling energy” in your current relationship. They are also here to show you that you have the freedom to live your life as an adventure, despite what your conditioned thinking has led you to believe. And as you receive their gift by allowing yourself to grow ethically and spiritually through their influence and to experience more joy and freedom in your life, they will also gain a more direct connection with Truth.
When their North Node is in your 10TH HOUSE, they are bringing you the gifts of:
AMBITIONS AND GOALS IN SOCIETY—If someone who plays a significant role in your life has their North Node in your 10th House, you need to focus on your goals, activate your ambition, and accept the discipline required for achievement. This person has come across your path because it’s time for you to elevate your status and reputation, expand your professional impact, and build a strong foundation in society. Their energy totally supports your position in the world. They will contribute to your success, either by improving your financial status, helping you complete a professional project, or giving you advice that keeps you on track toward manifesting your goals.
This person will encourage you to do something that will have an impact in the world. They see your potential for achievement and will back you all the way, joyfully using their talents to support you. It excites them to see you being the best you can be, and because they are so proud of you, you will gain added self-esteem from your accomplishments. They are genuinely invested in your earning a place of prominence and being seen as an authority in your field. They are an excellent influence on your career or profession and their presence will strengthen your attunement to society and the outside world. They will naturally benefit your social status and increase your prestige and public image, perhaps by virtue of their pleasing appearance or their own position in the world.
In fact, someone with this nodal position would be a good business consultant, career counselor, or agent for you, and if they give you advice about enhancing your public image or reputation, it would be wise to take their ideas seriously. They will give you suggestions and information that can guide you in the direction of successfully achieving your professional objectives. Even if they are unfamiliar with your field of endeavor, their counsel will still be accurate. And if fame is one of your goals, they will give you clear advice about how to create situations where your talents can be seen and respected by a wider audience.
This person will naturally yield their own personal needs in order to unhesitantly support you in achieving your professional aims. They instinctively know that your goals are important. They are aware of how your talents and qualities match society’s current needs, and will give you good advice about how to fill this niche. Their prompting and support can be the force that propels you to take action that increases your status in the world. This person will also know how to help you create the correct image—and what “role” you should play with your employer—that will best allow you to further your ambitions.
As you accept their gift and allow them to help you focus on clarifying and manifesting your goals and bringing projects to completion, your receptivity to their energy brings out the best in them. And by tuning in to how your talents can benefit society, they simultaneously gain a new awareness of how their own unique gifts fit with society’s current needs. This motivates them to begin actively achieving their own goals, which increases their ability to make a difference in the world. In this way, you empower each other to experience more success in your lives, which leads to an easy flow of appreciation and Love between you.
TAKING CHARGE—This person has come across your path because it’s time to incorporate a stronger “take charge” attitude into your personality and accept the position of “CEO” in your own life. They can help you to get on top of things and increase your self-sufficiency in areas where you feel out of control. For example, if you consistently have difficulty paying your bills on time, they will enthusiastically introduce you to a computer bill-paying program—or some other system—that will empower you to gain control in that area. Their gift is to help you take charge and make a success of your life under your own authority rather than allow you to become dependent on them. So if you allow your moods or your feelings of dependency to take over, they won’t be empathetic or respond to you in a positive way. But if you are clear about your goals and actively pursue them, then they will jump in and help you get there.
For instance, if you are clear about your career path and are ready to move forward, a mate or parent with this nodal position may be willing to work to support your getting an education that gives you more authority and respect in your chosen field. Or if you have started your own business, their energy will encourage your willingness to take full responsibility for its success. Even if they are a romantic partner, they will support the extra time it takes for you to get ahead in your career.
As another example, if you tell them that you want to buy a house, they are likely to verbally support your goal. However, if you actually take charge, find the house you want, and start negotiations, they will come in behind you with whatever kind of assistance you need. This could include: contributing financially, helping you move, actively helping you plan a budget that allows you to make the payments, etc.
When you take charge and make a commitment, they will support you so that you can succeed—whatever your endeavor. They will also encourage you to take the next step and make something happen rather than just having an idea about it. For instance, one client had a friend with this nodal position. My client had had a crush on her dentist for a couple of years. Finally her friend said: “Why don’t you just ask him out?” She did, and the dentist let her know that he had a steady girlfriend. This allowed my client to move on. Taking a real step gave her the feedback she needed to go in another direction to reach her goal of finding a boyfriend.
Another way this person’s influence benefits you is that you may recognize how some of their personal qualities or aspects of their personality contribute to their success in certain areas. Then, as you begin to model those traits in your own life, your level of success increases. For example, they may exhibit specific personality traits or social skills that bring them the kind of personal life that you would like to have, and by emulating those qualities, you can create this experience for yourself.
Whenever you need support in carving out a niche for yourself in the world—if your goals are clear—consult this person. Most often, the advice they give you will be accurate and their approach will make sense to you and fit your own natural style. By accepting their gift and allowing them to support you in taking charge in new and more effective ways, you simultaneously bring out the best in them and your appreciation opens a channel through which Love can flow between you.
AUTHORITY FIGURES—Someone with this nodal position will help you learn to relate to authority figures with greater comfort and effectiveness. This might include your boss, your father or mother, those you hold in high esteem, or those you feel have authority over you. If this person is your boss, then through your relationship with them you will find a more balanced and healthy way of interacting with authority figures than you have experienced in the past.
They will help you heal any negative patterns in this area. For instance, a woman who had a strained relationship with her father and has consequently had problems with men might attract a man with this nodal position who could help her heal from her past. It would be a relationship where she learns to interact with this person without projecting that he is some type of authority figure that she “can’t get past.” Through your relationship with them you can work out any negative father karma—or mother karma, if she was the authority figure—and heal it.
In fact in a relationship, this person may personify qualities similar to your father or mother, and this may be the unconscious basis of your attraction. As the relationship unfolds, they may evoke emotions in you that are out of proportion to the current situation—as you begin reacting to them as though they were your parent. However, because of their nodal position, you have the opportunity to respond openly, realize that you are reacting to the past and not the present, and then make a conscious choice to shift your behavior. In this way you can begin to heal any scars in your psyche that resulted from your relationship with your parent, and also regain confidence in your ability to take charge in emotional situations.
POTENTIAL AREAS OF CONCERN—In the process of helping you focus on your goals and take responsibility for creating success, this person will inadvertently drain energy from the area of emotional intimacy. In fact, it can be challenging to even let this person know how you feel about something. Most likely they won’t be receptive to your feelings, or else they’ll go on a “power trip” and either put you down or try to use what you say to their advantage. This is because in order to direct the energy in a way that inspires your authority, they tend to discount any needs you have for dependency, and will not support you if you come from this position. For example, if you say, “I just don’t think I can make these travel reservations by myself,” they probably won’t come to your rescue. However, if you say, “I need to get these travel arrangements in place by Wednesday. Will you help me by finding the best rates?” they are much more likely to cheerfully give you a hand.
This person is not especially interested in understanding your feelings or fears except to help you rise above them. If you become emotional, they will probably shut down or get angry with you, but when you present things in terms of a goal, they can hear you. For instance, if you say, “I’m so upset about this misunderstanding at work, I just don’t know what to do,” they are likely to be irritable with you. However, you can come from a position of taking responsibility by saying: “This misunderstanding at work is most upsetting. I need to figure out how to approach my boss so she won’t think that I’m not doing my job.” Then they can be supportive and help you come up with the best plan. They can relate to you as an equal when you clearly outline your goal and ask them to help you achieve it.
Although this person gives you excellent advice about your career, they are not particularly good real estate karma for you. In fact, they may be negative about a house that would really be a good investment for you, or encourage you to buy one that is not a good choice. Nor are they able to give you good advice on decorating your home. Your best bet is to avoid asking for their counsel in any decisions related to real estate.
BEST APPROACH—The words we use to propose things to others are so important. They reflect where we are coming from, which always determines the outcome. Someone with this nodal position is not naturally sympathetic to your feelings or where you are coming from, but they will be very supportive if you clearly state your goal. For example, I have a client whose father has this nodal position. For years my client had felt misunderstood, criticized, and unsupported by his father, and he didn’t trust him. Nevertheless, his father’s energy had helped my client to become very financially successful in a business partnership with him. They eventually sold the business for a huge profit that enabled them both to live very comfortably.
After the sale, the father asked: “Well, son, what are you going to do next?” My client wanted to honestly say: “Dad, I’m tired and just need to rest. And I don’t know yet what my next direction should be.” However, he knew from past experience that this approach would only invite criticism. So I suggested, “Tell him that since you’ve just gotten married, your goal for the next year is to really get to know your wife and build a strong foundation for your marriage.” And with that approach his dad was very supportive. Toward the end of the year the father asked again: “Son, what are you going to do with your life now?” My client’s wife had recently found out she was pregnant, so I advised him to say: “Dad, we have a baby coming and I’m going to take the next year to support my wife and really appreciate the experience of being a father. I want to give my child a lot of love and attention so he or she develops a solid foundation.” Again, when my client expressed his needs in terms of a goal, he was able to get his father’s support.
Since this person is in your life to help you clarify and accomplish your goals, by presenting your feelings in the form of a constructive goal you open the way for them to be able to hear you and support you. If you say, “This is how I feel,” they won’t be able to hear you. But if you rephrase it to “This is my goal in the situation,” they can respond to you in a positive way. The idea is to translate your needs and/or feelings into one positive goal after another that this person can relate to and support. Even if you’re feeling tremendously fearful about something, you can communicate your insecurity to them without negative repercussions by presenting it in the framework of a goal. For instance: “You know I feel insecure about leaving this home and buying a new one, so right now my goal is to overcome this issue so I can move forward.”
Or if you say, “I’m so upset; I’ve gained ten pounds over the last six months,” they probably won’t be empathetic. However, if you say, “I’ve decided to lose weight and establish my weight at 145 pounds,” they will be solidly in your corner and help you to attain that goal. They’ll say the right things and remind you in key moments to “stay on track” in a way that inspires you, and their influence will increase your success. Their gift is to support you by helping you to identify and reach goals that are important to you and teach you how to approach situations from an energetic position of taking charge rather than from a position of neediness.
PAST LIFE INFLUENCES—There are no specific past life influences relative to this nodal position unless a person’s North Node falls in your 10th House and their South Node conjoins one of your planets (see Part III). Then meeting them in this lifetime is truly a matter of destiny—a contract to be fulfilled—and these influences may be strongly felt.
This Soul is a longtime family member from past lives who blocked your worldly goals and ambitions through binding you to the family and keeping you confined in the home in some way. It may have been a marriage and family situation, but there was a feeling of enslavement and being forced to live in a world that was too small for your innate personality and talents. You were probably the “power behind the throne,” totally supportive of this person who was out in the world displaying their talents and receiving all the recognition.
So this is a payback lifetime for them, and their contract with you in this incarnation is to disentangle the unhealthy dependency and expectations that they were responsible for creating with you in the past, so that they can help you reconnect with your power. To this end, they feel compelled to push you out of the nest and support you in using your talents and abilities in the larger world. Now, even if they don’t understand what it is you are offering or why it is important, they will support you in gaining public acceptance.
If you clearly state goals that you want to manifest, this person can give you the inner strength and “permission” for attaining success—that is the gift they are bringing you. And you have drawn them into your life because you are ready to take charge and demonstrate your leadership and management talents to others.
When their North Node is in your 11TH HOUSE, they are bringing you the gifts of:
FRIENDSHIP—When a person’s North Node falls in your 11th House, they are in your life because you need to experience the benefits of friendship. Their gift is to teach you how to receive love and increase the feeling of equality in your relationships. In the exchange of Love, the polarities of giving and receiving must both be activated for the flow of energy to nourish both people. Sometimes we become so wrapped up in giving love to others—in terms of errands, household chores, and daily duties—that we lose touch with our ability to be on the receiving end.
The art of receiving love goes beyond the ways we traditionally expect others to show their love for us (i.e., remembering birthdays, favorite rituals, etc.). It is really about appreciating the ways that others demonstrate their caring for us according to the uniqueness of their own nature, and our ability to spontaneously receive and acknowledge their gifts. If you are stuck on the polarity of giving love and have forgotten how to open yourself to graciously receiving it, this person will help you remember.
One way they may do this is by bringing surprises into your life. A lover may bring flowers or a gift just because they were thinking of you; a friend may call with a loving insight that brightens your day. Whatever this person’s specific influence, in some way their presence helps to activate your ability to receive Love—simply by being yourself.
A person with this nodal position can be your best friend. Even if you don’t see them often, when you do connect it’s like you’ve never been apart. They may not demonstrate their friendship by taking care of you or promoting dependency, but they will always be an incredible source of encouragement and invaluable insights that can help you in any difficult situation. Even if they are your romantic partner, the relationship will work best if it is based on a strong sense of friendship. They will not let you get away with displays of willfulness, role playing, or childish attitudes. However, if you approach them with honesty and a sense of equality, they can support you in making your dreams come true.
When you are having a problem, this person is unsurpassed as an objective ally. Their unbiased viewpoint can pull you back from the immediacy of the situation to allow things to unfold on their own. In this way they have a good influence on your timing. You evoke their keen discrimination, which sees your situation from a unique perspective, helping you to gain clarity and resolution in your own mind.
The Universe has sent this person across your path because you need to strengthen the qualities of friendship in your personality at this time, and bring a greater feeling of equality to your relationships with others. In receiving their gift by relating to them as an equal and a friend, you benefit your own life and simultaneously bring out the best in them.
OBJECTIVITY: SEEING THE BIG PICTURE—Another reason someone with this nodal position is in your life is to help you gain insight that will enable you to view situations and events with an expanded awareness that can keep you from becoming lost in your own personal will or ego. Their perspective on your life problems provides the objectivity that empowers you to transcend any limitations you are experiencing due to ego involvement. For example, if you are having problems with a child, or in your primary relationship, they can point out where the other players in the situation are in terms of their personal growth, life situations, goals, etc. They say, “Well, he may be thinking ____ because ____,” and then suddenly you see that the situation makes sense, and you are released from the internal anxiety of not understanding what was going on. This allows you to relax, let things be, and cooperate with the natural flow of events when appropriate, rather than always feeling like you have to immediately “do something” to control the outcome.
We all have unresolved judgments about life, ourselves, and other people that manifest as stumbling blocks to creating what we desire. These misconceptions have been jumbling around in your psyche your whole life, but you can’t really identify or resolve them on your own. A person whose North Node is in your 11th House will say one little phrase and suddenly you have that “aha” experience that allows you to see the larger objective view that can permanently free you from these past psychological limitations. So someone with this nodal position would be a good therapist, astrologer, or mentor for you.
Another area of your life where this person can be extremely helpful is that they recognize how your talents and skills can benefit larger groups. They will naturally support you in any way that can improve your ability to function as part of the group. They are aware of your rightful place in groups or organizations, and if there is an area where you could be more effective, their insights can help you improve your position in a way that feels more comfortable. They are good networking karma for you, so if there is a particular group you have been wanting to join, this person can probably facilitate access. They also feel drawn to promote your expansion into a larger arena so that your talents can be seen and recognized by others.
DREAMS AND ASPIRATIONS—There is a mutual helpfulness with this nodal position, and a desire to support each other in attaining your dreams. This person can see what’s really important to you. For example, maybe you always wanted a happy marriage, but have experienced so many encounters that led to emotional pain that you have given up on that dream. If this person can see that a happy marriage is part of your destiny and is still what your heart desires, they will continue to encourage you.
They may point out how old beliefs or other unconscious factors—such as problems from your childhood—kept you from succeeding in the past. And they do it in a way that enables you to let go of these self-sabotaging patterns. When they help you see that you now have a chance for success, you are empowered to take action that can successfully manifest your dream.
Also, if one of your aspirations is to become involved in some type of humanitarian project—such as protecting animals, feeding the poor, or providing shelter for the homeless—rather than discounting the importance of these issues in your life, this person will help you gain the confidence you need to take action. They will directly support any desires you have to benefit society, especially any unorthodox ideas that include a larger view of social reform. They may provide ideas that can help get your message out to a greater audience, and will even make sure that you have the free time you need to pursue the causes you believe will benefit humankind as a whole.
A person with this nodal position makes you aware of your unique potential and what is really important to you. They don’t let you forget your dreams, or feel that they are unimportant or unreachable. Their gift is the objective knowledge you need to help you realize your dreams by tuning you in to the larger picture of what is going on. Then you have the opportunity to come into alignment with the circumstances in your life and successfully navigate the situations that arise. They make you aware of how lucky you are, and how the Universe is working in your life.
POTENTIAL AREAS OF CONCERN—When you turn on a lamp that is plugged into an electrical outlet, you are pulling power from one place (the power lines coming into the home) and rerouting it to another place (the lamp). And in this same way, as this person enables you to more deeply enjoy friendship, and helps you develop your ability to see the “Big Picture” and “go with the flow,” they inadvertently drain energy from your will to take creative action. They likely are not good children karma for you. They may not encourage you to have children, or inadvertently give you bad advice about any children you may already have.
Someone with this nodal position is naturally sensitive to what you want, and will do what they can to support you in attaining it. However, although their insights about what’s happening in various situations are correct, they are not good with the nuts and bolts of how to reach the end goal. In fact, they are likely to inadvertently give you bad advice about taking action—especially in terms of your love affairs, your children, your creative projects, and other areas of your life where your passionate nature is involved.
Your best bet is to ask for their insights regarding any issue you’re dealing with—since they can show you components that may be hidden from you—but to discount their advice about what action to take. Especially in terms of creative projects, their advice could result in delays. With a love affair, they can show you the larger picture and give you the objective information you need, including how the situation looks to the other person, or a particular character trait that you need to strengthen. However, in terms of how to actively move the relationship forward, ignore their advice and follow your own heart to bring about the results you desire.
BEST APPROACH—The words we use to propose things to others are so important. They reflect where we are coming from, which always determines the outcome. If someone’s North Node falls in your 11th House, one of their purposes is to activate the expression of friendship and equality within your personality. So when you approach them from a position of objective friendship and interact with them as an equal—just one person to another—they can hear you. However, if you approach them in the context of a role—i.e., wife to husband, employer to employee, parent to child—they won’t be able to respond to you in a positive way.
This is a very honest relationship, and playing a role doesn’t work with this person. Even if they are your parent, it could be to your advantage to stop addressing them as “Mom” or “Dad.” For instance, try calling your mom by her first name, or an affectionate nickname, such as: “Hey, Pretty Lady,” or “Hey, Ms. _____.” This will help establish a feeling of equality and friendship, which will bring out the best in both of you.
If your child has this nodal position, your best bet is to think of them as your friend and explain things as an equal. If you order them around: “Go to your room until you can be pleasant company!” they will probably be uncooperative. Try talking to them privately and sharing the “Big Picture” of what you’re trying to create: “Look, we’ve all had a tough day and we need to help one another out by being nice so we can have a fun evening.” Then they are more likely to hear you and want to cooperate.
If you get too much into the romance or fantasy of the situation with a spouse or lover whose North Node is in your 11th House, the communication is likely to break down. If you cast them in the role of “my boyfriend/girlfriend,” “my husband/wife,” etc., your subconscious expectations about that role will limit the possibilities of the relationship. But if you share your ideas and life goals with them in the spirit of camaraderie, they are likely to understand you, give you valuable insights, and do their best to cooperate with you.
Whether this person is your child, spouse, friend, or employer, by accepting their gift and approaching them in the spirit of friendship, equality, and objective self-disclosure, you simultaneously bring out the best in each other.
PAST LIFE INFLUENCES—There are no specific past life influences related to this nodal position unless a person’s North Node falls in your 11th House and their South Node conjoins one of your planets (see Part III). Then meeting them in this lifetime is truly a matter of destiny—a contract to be fulfilled—and these influences may be strongly felt.
In a past life, this person probably recognized your natural glamour and ability to enliven others and somehow selfishly directed your charismatic energy to their own personal enjoyment rather than honoring your unique nature and the dreams you had for your life. Perhaps they forced or lured you away from your dreams and introduced you to a life of personal pleasure and sexuality. Other examples could be a ruler who purchased a young girl from her parents, or a duchess who chose a mate because he fit the role of the duke she wanted to create.
In this type of situation, it’s easy to see how the way you played your “role” determined your value to those who had power over you. This may have caused a permanent misunderstanding in your psyche that is still affecting you in your current life. Because they were at least partly responsible for creating this situation, they are here to repay their debt to you in this incarnation. They will show you how to take back your power and prevent people from relating to you through the filter of a role.
They are uniquely equipped to restore your sense of freedom, and will do whatever it takes to prevent you from becoming rigidly defined by any one role or by the expectations of others. They will encourage your individuality, including that part of your nature that desires to live beyond conventional expectations. In addition, they feel compelled to discover your dreams and aspirations and to actively support you in pursuing them. Since in the past they dominated you and used your talents for their own gain, in this life they have the means to help you succeed in manifesting your goals. And as you graciously allow them to enrich your life in this way, you both win.
When their North Node is in your 12TH HOUSE, they are bringing you the gifts of:
SOLITUDE AND SERENITY—If someone who plays a significant role in your life has their North Node in your 12th House, it’s time for you to pull back from an outer material focus and the hectic activity of daily life, in order to become more closely aligned with your inner spiritual self. This person is in your life to help you increase your awareness of the self-sustaining nourishment and wellspring of inspiration that is only available to you in solitude. They support your having time to yourself so that you can rejuvenate and reconnect with your Higher Power and the spiritual protection surrounding you. Someone with this nodal position will be totally supportive of your need for rest and privacy. They will want to help facilitate a situation where you don’t have to work all the time. In fact, if this is your mate, they are likely to want to be the sole financial support of the family. However, they will happily encourage any activity or occupation you want to pursue that is compatible with solitude—such as writing, painting, mystical knowledge, or any form of the arts.
This person may expose you to soothing spiritual views, or be an influence that prompts you to explore spiritual avenues as a means of gaining serenity. Their influence can also help you learn to be “in the world but not of it”—in touch with a spiritual serenity while doing mundane tasks. For instance, if they are your boss, they may give this gift by constantly saying: “Take a break—you’re working too hard!” Or they may do it in reverse, by working you so hard that you finally decide to “let go and let God”—releasing the tension and just doing the best you can. In this case, through their demands to produce more work than is possible, they inadvertently give you the gift of learning how to participate in work constructively without being totally caught up in it.
A person with this nodal position will put you in touch with who you really are—bringing you the gift of authenticity. They may help you see this consciously, or they may prompt you into this awareness by showing you a way to “be in the world” that isn’t who you are at all. Then, when their way doesn’t work for you, it acts as a catalyst for you to discover your own way. Their influence will also pinpoint your hidden weaknesses and strengths, and help you see any behaviors that are counterproductive to attaining your goals. Their influence shows you the inner workings of your own psyche so that you can gain awareness of the internal causes that have contributed to your suffering. They don’t actually give you any advice about it—their presence just has that effect. When you are with this person, you will become conscious of the areas where you still engage in self-sabotaging patterns that keep you from experiencing success, and will see how you can make adjustments within yourself that will allow your life to become more workable.
These new awarenesses will likely prompt you to become introspective, and this person’s energy can help you do inner work in a positive way that empowers you to release unconscious fears and obstructions. As you spend more time in the home environment to get the solitude you need, you will also become more aware of the psychological patterning of your children. In this way you can spot their self-sabotaging patterns and help them to change their behaviors before they become adults. And because this person’s presence stimulates your ability to surrender to your unconscious, they are also a good influence on your sleep patterns and can give you good advice about any sleep problems you may be having. You are likely to sleep better around them, and they will go out of their way to make sure you get a good night’s sleep.
Someone with this nodal position can also help you become aware of what you are repressing, avoiding expressing to others, or expressing so indirectly or subtly that others miss it. You will feel comfortable revealing to them those parts of yourself that you would not normally share with another, and they will be able to hear you and draw you out. They can be a good influence in encouraging you to bring whatever it is you want to say out into the world in a way that others can hear. As you accept their gift and allow them to help you reconnect with your inner self and become aware of—and release—old self-sabotaging patterns, your example motivates them to also begin ridding themselves of ideas and behaviors that are undermining their life. In this way you can empower each other to overcome unconscious negative traits and make your lives happier and more successful.
SPIRITUAL TRUST AND SURRENDER—Someone with this nodal position is in your life to help you gain stronger spiritual and psychological health by reconnecting with your spiritual nature. They will encourage you to build a basic sense of trust in the Universe—that positive forces are at work and a Higher Power is in charge. This person will boost your confidence in believing that the flow of life is working to your advantage by helping you be able to see how things unfold on a deeper level. They can quell your inner anxieties—either directly in a positive way, or by creating a harsh situation that forces you to turn inward for relief. This helps you relax and allows your intuitive abilities to function. For example, I had a client whose parents both had their North Node in her 12th House. Growing up, there were no routines that she could rely on in their household—nothing was ever the same twice. But her parents consciously helped her in a positive and supportive way to develop a sense of trust in an overall plan—that things are going to turn out as they should. They gave her the positive knowing that the Universe would take care of her, even if she couldn’t see any order in her daily life.
This person can increase your awareness of your thinking on a spiritual level and show you exactly what is missing in your connection with the Infinite. They are also in your life to validate any psychic gifts or abilities you may have. Even if you have not had a strong sense of spiritual intuition in the past, their influence will make you more aware of these forces. For instance, when you share what you are sensing about a situation and they reinforce your perceptions, your intuition and psychic abilities will become stronger because they are being validated. As they encourage your sensitivity, you will develop the mental refinement that enables you to tap into a mystical, transcendent faith. The other way they can influence you in these matters is by creating such emotional opposition in your life that you are forced to turn inward to find some higher answers. In this situation you will be able to see beyond their negativity to the purity of their intent and be inclined to overlook their bad behavior. You are very sensitive to them and have a psychic understanding of how their mind works.
A person with this nodal position is here to help you take the next step in a spiritual way—in a tangible way. You don’t have to mentally understand what’s going on, and you don’t have to DO anything. You just need to relax and trust that God is in charge and somehow everything is working out as it should. And as you accept their gift and allow them to prompt you to act from a position of trusting in a Higher Power and developing your psychic abilities, you also motivate them to be in touch with the power of positive Universal Forces. In this way, you empower each other to trust in the natural unfoldment of life.
COMPASSION—When someone’s North Node falls in your 12th House, they are bringing you the gift of helping to develop your sense of compassion. You may become more aware of the condition of helplessness—within yourself or as it affects others in your life. It may be that you experience your relationship with this person as a kind of prison. If so, by feeling compassion for yourself in the situation you will learn to have more compassion for others. And as you watch this person grapple with their own self-sabotaging behaviors, it strengthens your compassion for them and increases your awareness of other people’s issues. In fact, compassion can result from understanding another so deeply—from their point of view and from a consciousness of the shared struggle of all humankind—you can’t really be angry with them. When you have compassion for someone, you see their subconscious stresses and forgive temporary misbehavior or careless words.
As you become more aware of the self-sabotaging mind-sets and behaviors of those around you, you may feel moved to try to help them. This person can be a good influence in inspiring you to be of service to the needy, the disturbed, or the handicapped, since one of their purposes in your life is to put you in touch with the choice between serving others or suffering yourself. They help you to understand that when you set something in motion that causes a disservice to others, it results in your own suffering. Their presence can help you see any tendencies you may have in this direction in a way that can lead to healing.
If you share your dream for helping others in need, this person will be right in your corner, understanding and supporting you. Even if their ideas reflect a more conventional approach, as you stand firm and keep communicating your own ideals, their presence will make you stronger in your determination. Their influence may even cause you to develop your vision further and express it more clearly to the world. And if they are your partner or spouse, they may give you the gift of having more time and energy to pursue your dream by not having to work outside the home.
POTENTIAL AREAS OF CONCERN—In supporting your serenity, self-awareness, and spiritual connection with a Higher Power, this person may inadvertently drain energy from your ability to function effectively in the world. So they are not likely to be a positive influence on your health, your job, your organizational skills, or helping you establish orderly routines that assist you in interacting with the material realm in an efficient, productive way.
For instance, I had a client who married a man with this placement. He immediately talked her into quitting her job as a nurse (which she loved), bought her a house, and years later she found herself just taking care of him and their four kids—which was a full-time job—and she was miserable! He didn’t even want her to go to town, and she felt like she was in jail. As another example, a participant in one of my workshops shared that her North Node was in her husband’s 12th House and they had a very happy marriage. In supporting him having solitude and rest, she had always told him: “Honey, you’re working too hard. You need more time off.” He was a private contractor, but he listened to her advice regarding his business—and now he has no business!
Even with the best of intentions, this person will give you incorrect messages about your job, your health, how to organize your environment, and how to behave in the world. If you actually do what they say to try to please them, it won’t work for you in the long run. So if your work or profession is important to you, you will need to look to others outside this relationship for advice, motivation, and encouragement in this area. In fact, you can’t usually even make a plan with someone who has this nodal position. For the best outcome, show them your vision of what you want to create; since taking action to support your private dream brings out the best in them, you will both benefit. And as you receive their gift of encouraging you to rest and turn inward for personal and spiritual growth, keep in mind that you need to follow your own instincts in terms of handling your work and personal routines.
BEST APPROACH—The words we use to propose things to others are so important. They reflect where we are coming from, which always determines the outcome. This person is in your life to help you let go of the logistics of “how,” and stay focused on your vision of the way you want things to be. Therefore, if you talk to them about mundane details, they won’t be able to hear you, but if you speak in terms of your vision, you create a space that allows them to support you.
For example, if you say, “Will you please stop by the store and pick up some chicken and celery?” they are likely to resist or forget. But if you say, “I have a vision of making chicken and dumplings for us tonight…do you have time to stop at the store after work?” they will do what they can to help you manifest your dream. If a child has this nodal position and you say: “I’m cleaning up the house today. I want you to put your toys in the trunk, hang up your clothes, and put all your papers in your desk,” they will resist. Their gift is to prevent you from focusing on the details of “how to get it done” and support you in connecting with your ideal vision of what can be—allowing others to help you in their own way. So if instead you say, “I have a vision of cleaning up the whole house today. Will you help by cleaning up your room?” they will be far more likely to assist in manifesting your vision.
Or with an employee who has this nodal placement, your best bet is to avoid telling them how to do their job more efficiently. Instead, remind them of the “Big Picture” and let them bring their work into alignment with your concept. If you say, “You have to change the way you’re organizing this job, because you’re not meeting the deadlines,” they will resist. But if you say, “Here is the vision of this project and here are the deadlines. Do you have any ideas that will make the process more efficient so these deadlines can be met?” they will go into action to support you.
Another reason this person has come across your path is to encourage you to rely on the protection of a positive Higher Power. Sometimes they do this by worrying about the details of your life and pointing out all the things that could go wrong. Should this occur, you can convert their energy to a more positive form by saying: “Don’t worry, in the bigger picture of things, all is well.” By openly claiming the gift they are bringing you—trust in a Higher Power—you bring out the best in them and they will instantly align with you. But if you start talking about the details of how spiritual forces work, they are not able to hear you. Your best bet with this person is to just stay in that spiritual space while speaking to them, and take a mystical, psychic approach.
PAST LIFE INFLUENCES—There are no specific past life influences related to this nodal position unless a person’s North Node falls in your 12th House and their South Node conjoins one of your planets (see Part III). Then meeting them in this lifetime is truly a matter of destiny—a contract to be fulfilled—and these influences may be strongly felt.
In a past life, this person was responsible for pushing you out into the world in a way that led to your downfall—at least in terms of your spiritual understanding and growth. They really encouraged you to use your power to produce and succeed in the workplace by pampering your ego and appealing to any attachment you had to wanting to “be somebody.” However, they wanted you to succeed and look good for their own purposes. What it cost you was your serenity and any sense of your own spiritual life. So in this incarnation, their contract with you is to facilitate you in reconnecting with your inner self. Subconsciously, they give you such bad advice about how to be successful in terms of work that it forces you to get your spiritual foundation straight before you attempt to go out into the world.
On the surface it may even look like they are trying to motivate you to produce and succeed and be “Mr./Ms. Perfect” in your behavior, but on a Soul level they want to support you in connecting with the power of your own inner life. In some way their behavior will propel you back into your own essence and help you to get in touch with your self-sabotaging patterns—rather than encouraging you to be “in the world,” where acting out those patterns could again lead to your downfall. This person may not consciously recognize that they are having this effect on you, but this is a payback lifetime for them and that is what’s going on. All your programming about what is “right” dissolves in their presence so that you will embrace a sense of confusion. This allows a new orientation to emerge in your psyche—one that is beyond the daily grind of the material world and facilitates your connection with a Higher Power.