After getting back from Camden, I changed straight into my pyjamas and take refuge under the magnolia and pale lilac duvet despite the afternoon sunlight. Bella is sitting on my bed. My room isn’t as stylish or vibrant as hers, with the overflow of dog-eared books from the lounge stacked on the floor. On the wall is a yellowing framed photo of Mum and Uncle Kevin, taken when they were little. He’s sticking his tongue out. Before these recent weeks, the only visible cosmetics were a powder compact and clear nail varnish – now I’ve converted a small writing desk into a dressing table and it’s laden with colourful eye shadows and lipsticks, plus my new hair dryer and straighteners.
On the inside of my wardrobe door is a new full-length mirror. I came home from work one day to find that Bella had bought and installed it. I’ve never had one before. I was never the kind of person to rate their own appearance out of ten nor to ask their partner if their bum looked big. It didn’t seem relevant. I peek out from under the sheets so that my voice sounds less muffled.
‘I can’t believe I saw Lenny. What if he recognised me?’
‘From what you tell me, there’s no way that happened,’ says Bella and hugs her knees. ‘He and Beatrix won’t be able to believe their eyes at the party.’
‘What must Casey think? I’m such a fool. And I’ve completely failed in persuading him to offer his manuscript to Thoth.’
‘You assume too much. Did he actually say that?’
‘He said he was working on his agent, but that’s no guarantee.’ I pull the duvet up to my chin. ‘My phone keeps bleeping. I know it’s him texting. Casey will want to know that I got home okay.’
Bella gives me a stern look. ‘Then you text him back, bright and breezy. Say you’re feeling better. It must have been something you ate. He’ll understand.’
‘I can’t do that.’
‘Why not?’
‘To start with, it’s a lie – perhaps I should be honest. Tell him about Lenny and Beatrix and that it was just too much seeing them.’
‘Tell him anything but the truth. And play down wanting him to send the manuscript. Make out it’s his loss, not yours.’
I sit up and lean against the velvet headboard, fiddling with my watch. Bella lays her hand on mine and my fingers relax.
‘There’s something I didn’t tell you about when I split up with my ex,’ she says. ‘Oh, I revamped my image and my career and yes, I knocked him back in the pub when he wanted to get back together. But even though I just felt sorry for him, I still hadn’t quite moved on back at my flat. Photos of him were still up. I’d kept all the gifts from him, the jewellery, the perfume and scented candles he knew that I liked. One corner of my bedroom could have been mistaken for a shrine to him. However, if I’d let on in the pub that a small part of me pined… if he’d come back for a coffee or if we’d shagged… I wouldn’t be where I am today building my own life, saving to buy my own house, writing my own story without waiting for a man to fill any potential plot gaps.’ She squeezes my hand. Her slim fingers are remarkably strong. ‘You tell Casey the truth. You admit seeing your ex upset you, then it’s giving the power back to that loser and Beatrix. You don’t need either of them in your life. All you need is your own agenda and self-respect. Get Casey on your side. Acquire his book. Take him to the party. This is all still possible.’
‘You really think so?’
‘We have two weeks. Let’s pull out all the stops and really get you into tip top shape. By the time we’ve finished, Beatrix will look positively B List compared to you. I’ve seen miracles happen at the spa in fourteen days.’
‘Is that what I need? A miracle?’ I manage a smile.
Except that was the great thing about Bella. She didn’t make it sound as if I looked awful right at this moment. Bella didn’t focus on the here and now, she concentrated on the what ifs. She made me feel as if anything was possible and images fill my head of Casey and me having wild, passionate sex. My cheeks feel hot as I ask myself where those thoughts came from. You fancy him, idiot, says a smug voice in my head.
Bella continues to talk and my neck and forehead become less tight. She says the two of us are in this together and that she’ll join me on a three day juicing detox. She’ll give me two facials a week and insists I accompany her every night on her late jog. Plus, she’s discovered some amazing rehydration cream to apply to my arms and legs every day, so that whatever I wear to the party, I’ll look positively dewy – her words. I feel like a Hollywood star in the making as I listen to her grooming plan.
‘First of all, though,’ she says, ‘text Casey. Suggest that you meet tomorrow. Subtly make him realise you’re interested in seeing him and that you really aren’t that bothered about the book. I mean, you like him anyway, right?’
As usual, Bella seems able to read my mind.
‘In fact, let me do it.’
Before I know it, she’s picked up my phone from the bedside table. I try to protest but she scrolls through my contacts, taps in the words and presses send.
‘Come on. Time to get up. Feeling sorry for yourself won’t achieve anything.’
I smart at her words but know that she’s right. Whistling, Bella leaves the room, muttering something about googling new juicing recipes. I pick up my phone and read what she typed.
Hi Casey,
Thanks for your texts. Sorry I haven’t replied sooner. Please accept my apologies for leaving so abruptly. I suddenly felt very ill. How about we meet up tomorrow morning? Hopefully this is just a twenty-four hour bug. The weather is due to be decent. We could catch up in Phoenix Garden. It’s very pretty – and then head to Foyles’ Cafe afterwards. My treat. It’s not too far.
Vi
He doesn’t reply straight away and I do my best not to feel disappointed. Instead I open an unexpected text from Farah. She’s started inviting me out for coffee and cake or dinner more than usual. I swipe it away.
I take a shower and get changed into a pink jogging suit like Bella’s. My stomach rumbles but instead of filling it with food, I fill my mind with images of Beatrix’s jealous face when I walk into the party with Casey on my arm. That feels far more satisfying.
I sit on the sofa and my phone bleeps.
Vi,
I’m so glad you’re feeling better. I felt like Prince Charming abandoned at the ball by Cinderella! Not that I see you as some sort of scullery maid. I’m sure you look just as fantastic after midnight. And you didn’t leave a shoe behind – just your pink sunglasses. I was tempted to keep them for myself but my head’s too big (please, don’t make any observations about that). Sunshine and snacks sound great. How about ten thirty? I think that cafe opens at half past eleven on a Sunday. And we can discuss submitting Alien Hearts to Thoth.
Casey
Warmth courses through my veins. Bella may be a little overpowering at times, but thanks to her, everything is back on track. I message back my agreement without acknowledging the slightest interest in his manuscript.