Are you going to talk to Jesse and get Herschel’s address so you can tell him what you found out?” Lenore asked Sara.
Sara sucked in her bottom lip. “I’m not sure what to do. What if Herschel isn’t my father? Or what if he is, and he doesn’t want anything to do with me? Herschel has already been through a lot, what with losing his wife and grieving for her for so many years. I don’t want to put any more stress on him.”
Lenore looked at the piece of paper Sara still held. “Jesse mentioned once that his wife’s uncle has no children, so he might be happy to learn that he has a daughter.”
Sara moaned. “Oh, why does this have to be so difficult?”
“Maybe you should talk to Grandma about it. She deserves to know we’ve found another prayer jar, and don’t you think she should read what your mother wrote in that note?”
“You’re right. Let’s go talk to her now.” Sara scooped all the notes back into the jar and picked it up. “Grandma might want to read the rest of these messages too.”
When they entered the house, Grandma greeted them in the entryway. “I was about to come outside and see how much progress you two have made in the garden. Is everything going well out there?”
“We haven’t pulled even half the weeds yet because we found this.” Sara held up the glass jar.
Grandma squinted over the top of her glasses. “Is that another prayer jar?”
Lenore nodded. “I found it buried in the dirt when I was trying to dig up some really tough weeds.”
“As you can see,” Sara interjected, “there are slips of paper inside the jar, just like the ones we found in the basement and barn.” She held out the slip of paper naming Herschel as her father and handed it to Grandma. “I’m curious to know what you think of this.”
Grandma’s lips moved slowly as she read the message to herself. “Oh Sara, I can’t believe your mother wrote down the name of your father. And now we know why she left without telling anyone who had fathered her child.”
“Did you have any idea my mother was seeing a man named Herschel Fisher?” Sara’s lips quivered.
Grandma shook her head. “I never heard that name until we met Jesse.” Her mouth opened as she let out a gasp. “Could his wife’s uncle be your father, Sara?”
“I’m not completely sure, but I believe so.”
“Then he needs to see this confession your mother wrote.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
Sara explained her reasons and ended by saying she wanted to go home and talk to Brad before making a decision about whether to confront Herschel or not.
“That’s a good idea.” Grandma gave Sara a hug. “Prayer is always the first thing we should do when faced with a problem or an unanswered question.”
“I agree with Grandma,” Lenore put in. “And we’ll be praying that you make the right decision.”
Lancaster
Sara paced the living-room floor, waiting for Brad to get home. He’d had a lunch meeting with some pastors from other churches in the area at noon. Following that, he was supposed to call on a few people from their congregation who were living in nursing homes. Sara could have called and asked him to come home right away, but she didn’t feel right about taking him away from his pastoral duties for something that was not an emergency.
She looked out the front window. Even though it’s not critical, I sure wish my husband would hurry and get here. I need to talk with him about the note Lenore and I found in the buried prayer jar this morning, and I can’t make a decision on my own.
Sara’s thoughts ran wild as she continued to pace and try to analyze things. She was filled with mixed emotions concerning her mother’s confession. She understood Mama’s decision to keep the identity of Sara’s father a secret, but at the same time, Sara felt cheated and more confused than ever.
She stopped pacing and blotted the tears on her hot cheeks with a tissue. So many times in the past Sara had asked who her father was, but Mama always changed the subject or said it didn’t matter. Well, it mattered to Sara. All the years of not knowing who her biological father was had left an empty place in Sara’s heart.
At the sound of Brad’s van coming up the drive, Sara hurried to the front door. When Brad entered the house a short time later, she threw herself into his arms. “Oh, I’m so glad you’re home.”
He leaned down and gave her a kiss. “Now this is the kind of greeting that melts a man’s heart.”
More tears sprang to Sara’s eyes, and she nearly choked on the sob rising in her throat.
“Honey, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
“I believe I know who my biological father is.”
Brad’s eyes opened wide. “You do?”
“Yes. He lives right here in Lancaster County.” Sara could barely speak the words without shouting.
Brad guided her into the living room and onto the couch. “Who is it, and how did you find out?”
Bringing a trembling hand to her forehead, Sara explained about the note she and Lenore had discovered. “And now that I’ve learned the name of my father, I don’t know what to do. Lenore said she could find out from Jesse where Herschel lives, but I can’t just barge over to his house and tell him about Mama’s note.” She paused and drew in a shaky breath. “What if he truly is my father, and he doesn’t want anything to do with me? After all, he chose some other woman to marry and dropped my mother flat.”
Brad began to open his mouth, but Sara cut him off.
“I can’t even imagine the horrible pain Mama must have felt when she found out she was carrying Herschel’s child and then learned he was planning to marry someone else. It’s no wonder she ran away without telling anyone where she was going. Mama obviously did not want anyone—especially Herschel—to know her whereabouts.”
Brad shook his head. “She could have told her parents. From the time I first met the Lapps, I realized what good people they were. I think they would have understood and tried to help their daughter through her difficult time.”
Sara sniffed and swiped at a few more tears that had fallen. “I believe you’re right, but poor Mama probably didn’t realize it back then. She was running on emotion and not thinking things through. No doubt she thought they would be embarrassed by their daughter’s mistake. And also,” Sara continued, “Grandma and Grandpa most likely would have insisted that Mama tell them who the father of her baby was.”
“You may be right.”
“Don’t you see, Brad, if my mother had revealed the father’s name, Grandpa would have gone to Herschel and tried to convince him to do the right thing and marry his daughter, regardless of whether Herschel cared anything about her or not.”
Brad slowly nodded. “That may also be true, but we can’t change the past, honey. The question now is, do you want to speak with Herschel and let him know who you are—find out for sure if he is your father?”
Sara rolled her neck from side to side. “I’m not sure. What do you think I should do?”
Brad took hold of her hand. “The first thing we should do is pray and ask God to help you make the right decision and give you a sense of peace about whatever you decide.”
“Okay.”
As Brad prayed out loud on Sara’s behalf, a little voice in her head seemed to be saying she should wait to speak to Herschel, at least for now, and that if it was meant for her to do so, she would know when the time was right.
Clymer
Michelle’s contractions were stronger and more regular. It was time to alert Ezekiel. Despite the oppressing heat, she felt a chill as she headed out to his shop. What if giving birth is too painful and I never want to have another child? What if our baby is born with a birth defect? Would I have the strength to deal with it? Negative thoughts continued to swirl through Michelle’s head, each one making her more apprehensive. By the time she reached Ezekiel’s shop, Michelle was so worked up she felt light-headed.
“What’s wrong?” Ezekiel asked as she approached his workbench. “Your face is so pale.”
“I’m in labor,” she panted. “The pains are becoming more intense and closer together. I can’t believe how quickly they came on. This morning I had a few, and they weren’t regular or very painful.”
Eyes wide, Ezekiel jumped up from his chair. “You’d better sit down right here and rest while I run out to the phone shack and call one of our drivers to bring the midwife and stand by in case there are any problems during the delivery and we end up having to make a trip to the hospital.” Ezekiel talked so fast, Michelle could hardly keep up with him. “I may have a lot of knowledge about bees, but I have no idea how to deliver a boppli!” He turned and raced out the door.
As Michelle sat in her husband’s chair, trying to calm herself, she whispered a heartfelt prayer. “Heavenly Father, please help me not to be afraid, and”—she placed both hands on her stomach—“and may this child of ours be born without complications.”