Rosita opened the door dressed in sweatpants and a stained sweater. She was pale, with dark circles under her eyes I hadn’t noticed before. She’d been looking much more presentable before Anna’s father’s visit. He could just come over whenever he liked, but as for taking care of her properly—don’t hold your breath.
“How did it go with Anna? What did you guys do?”
“How come you let that Victor come in whenever he wants?”
“Ray, please. Not now.” She took off Anna’s jacket and hung it on the coatrack. “Hey, sweetie, did you feed the ducks?”
Anna said yes. Now she wanted to go watch TV.
“And you let him come upstairs, too. Why?” I asked when we were in the living room, after Rosita had turned on a cartoon for Anna. “Why? Did you let him touch you? Did he touch your privates? Is that it?”
Rosita lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. “Stop it. Please, Ray. I’m too tired for this. Come, let’s have a drink, and we’ll order pizza. Pour me a glass of wine, will you?”
But I wasn’t going to let her off that easy. “Why? Why do you let him come upstairs?”
“Why do I let him come upstairs and not you, is that what you mean?”
I didn’t say anything; I lost my nerve.
She walked up to me, so close that I took a step back, even though I was a head taller than her. Smoke came blowing into my face. “Is that what you want, Ray? I thought you were different. I thought we were friends.”
I was having trouble breathing.
Squinting, she puffed another cloud of smoke into my face. I didn’t like it. “In that case, you’d better come upstairs with me, if that’s what you so badly want. Come on. I’ll show you my cunt. Because that’s what it’s called, Ray. ‘Privates’ is what little kids say.”
She stubbed out her cigarette in the ashtray, grabbed my hand, and dragged me up the stairs. I followed her, not knowing what else I was supposed to do.
Her bedroom was mysterious, the bed hidden under a slick black coverlet. Quite a change from my own bedroom, which was all white, white, white. Nice and bright, said my mother.
“Okay, now lie down.” Rosita pushed me roughly toward the bed. She was strong for a woman her size. I stumbled, lost my balance, and fell backward. I made the mattress bounce.
She pulled off her sweater. She wasn’t wearing a bra. Her breasts weren’t as round as you’d expect; they were kind of pointy, with big brown nipples. Still, I couldn’t keep my eyes off them. I hoped she’d let me touch them. And I hoped she would touch me and take my penis in her mouth, just like on TV.
“Do you think I’m pretty, Ray? Is this what you wanted to see?” She cupped her hands around her boobs and squeezed.
I couldn’t speak. My throat was all closed up. Her fingers started rubbing her nipples so that they grew hard.
“And this, Ray? My ‘privates’? Do you want to see them, too?”
I nodded, my head moving like a thick pudding.
She yanked her pants down. They were down around her ankles; she didn’t even bother stepping out of them.
I looked at her lovely round hips, which weren’t very different from the photo in the living room, and at the narrow line of dark hair starting underneath her tummy and ending between her legs. I saw the two flaps down there with the little knob sticking out in between. I saw everything I’d never seen in real life.
It was as if a huge weight was pressing me down on the bed. It was giving me goose bumps and making my penis throb. I couldn’t move. I could only stare.
“What would you like, Ray? Would you like a little show? Do you want to watch me jack off with my vibrator? Do you want me to sit on your face? Just say it.” She sounded angry, angrier than I’d ever heard her.
My throat was thick and my jaw felt uncomfortably clenched.
“Do you want to touch me, Ray? Is that what you want?” She shuffled to the side of the bed, hobbled by the pants at her ankles. “Here, stick out your hand. Go on, touch my cunt. You want to, don’t you?” She spread her legs as far apart as the pants let her.
I stretched my arm. My hand was shaking.
“It’s just a cunt. Every woman has one. Even your mother has one. How do you think you got here?”
She grabbed my hand and pressed it to her privates. I shut my eyes. It felt warm, and as soft as the inside of a canelé. My fingers lay there motionless as I felt, just felt the sensation of the blood throbbing inside her.
“You have no idea how to turn a woman on, do you, Ray?” She laughed a short, hard laugh. “I bet you don’t.”
I opened my eyes. I had no idea what she wanted of me.
“Caress me. Start by stroking my cunt, but gently.”
Cautiously I started stroking the flaps, the knob, and the area around the little hole, which I knew could grow bigger. Big enough so a penis could fit inside. The flesh felt soft, like dolphin skin.
Rosita closed her eyes. “That’s nice, Ray. That feels good. Now I want you to stick your finger inside my cunt. Feel how wet I’m getting?”
My hand was shaking again. I found the hole and gently inserted one finger. It was sticky in there, and tight. Rosita gasped. I quickly pulled my finger out. “Did I hurt you?” My voice sounded different. Hoarse, almost whispery.
“No, silly boy. Keep going.”
It was wet inside the hole, Rosita’s cunt, and even warmer than on the outside. “Move your finger up and down, and then back to my clit.”
I let my finger slip inside her, up and down over the rough landscape of warm flesh. When I pulled my finger out again, she grabbed my hand and put it where she wanted it to go. “This is the clitoris, Ray. Maybe you remember it from biology class. You have to rub it.”
I started rubbing my finger over the knob. It was easier when my fingers were wet. I heard her breathing heavily and groaning. The ache in my penis grew unbearable.
“Now circle your finger around my clit. Harder. Come on, Ray. Make me come.”
I looked at her face. At the half-closed eyes and the gaping mouth making sounds I’d never heard her make before.
She pressed my hand even harder against her. “Don’t stop, Ray. Keep it going.” I went on rubbing the knob back and forth, the way she wanted. Then she gave a scream, squeezing my hand hard against her privates. She thrust her hips violently forward and screamed again.
All sorts of stuff was happening between her legs. I felt muscles contract, and it got even warmer and wetter than before.
Then it was over. She stopped screaming and pushed my hand off. It was quiet for a moment, except for some heavy breathing. Then, clearing her throat, she grunted, “Not bad for a beginner.” She started pulling up her pants again, with me still lying on that bed, my penis about to explode.
She walked around the bed and picked up her sweater, the one with the stains, and pulled it on. “Okay. I’m going downstairs now. You can jerk off if you like. There’s Kleenex on the bedside table.”
She turned without another glance at me. I heard her walk downstairs and had no choice but to unzip my pants and relieve myself.