Introduction

Hey! My name is Sissy. I’m so glad to get to meet you—although I really wish we were meeting in person rather than just in the pages of this book. I have a feeling we’d like each other. But for now, we can do our best to imagine how things would go if we were meeting in person.

Let’s start with a little backstory. Maybe you’ve been worrying some lately.

Maybe you’ve been worried about what your friends think of you and whether they notice when you say the things that you think sound kind of awkward sometimes (and whether they’re just acting like they don’t notice). And then you replay what you said and try to figure out from their reaction if it really was awkward and if they’ll want to keep hanging out with you. Your mind keeps thinking about it, over and over and over.

Maybe just being with others makes you nervous. Adults are fine, but people your age are a different story. It’s hard to know what to say or when to say it. It’s even hard to know who to talk to in unstructured social times, like at lunch or youth group. So it becomes easier to hang back or stay away from those situations completely. The problem is that the more you pull back, the harder it is to step back in. The worry becomes so consuming that it’s all you can think about when you’re with people, so spending time around other people happens less and less often. People besides your family, that is. But the worry about missing out nags at you too.

Or maybe you threw up with the last round of the flu. Now every time you get a little sick—or your stomach feels the slightest bit weird—you can’t stop thinking that you might throw up. You end up making yourself feel sick just from thinking so much about being sick.

Maybe you can’t fall asleep at night because your brain won’t stop looping through all the things you worry about.

Maybe you’ve worried ever since you were little, although the topics have changed. And you’ve wondered, after hearing other people in school talk about anxiety, if that might be what’s going on with you. Maybe you feel pretty sure it is.

Maybe, when you worry, things don’t feel quite right, but you’ve found a few things that help. Things like counting even numbers, tapping, washing your hands, or checking on things. Maybe you have something you do that makes you feel better at bedtime, even though that thing doesn’t totally feel like it makes sense.

Maybe you worry about getting worried, and that if the thing that happened recently really was a panic attack, you could have one again at any moment.

Now let’s imagine your mom or dad has noticed. They’ve noticed because you’re spending more time in your room, or you’re missing school because of headaches. Maybe you’re not interested in doing things with friends as much as you used to be. Or maybe you brought it up to them and they said, “We think it’s time to talk to someone.”

Those words can sound kind of ominous. “Talking to someone” about the things that are going on deep inside of you, when you’ve never even met that person, can feel intimidating or awkward.

Or it might not. You might have friends in counseling and you’ve been curious if it would help you too. You might have wanted to bring the subject up with your parents but weren’t sure how or whether they would think something was wrong with you.

That’s where I come in.

Let me interrupt our imagining to say that there is NOTHING wrong with you. Nothing at all—unless the same thing is wrong with almost one out of every three kids in your grade.1 You are totally normal. In fact, you’re a lot better than normal. But we’ll come back to that.

I got us off the track of our story. Your parents told you—or you decided—it was time to try counseling. Now you’ve gotten pulled out of math class to come to my office. You drive up to an adorable yellow house with a white picket fence.

“Is this really where we’re going?”

“Yes,” your parents say. “This is Daystar.”

(Daystar is where I get to sit with girls like you and their families every day, and have for almost thirty years. I sound a lot older than I feel, by the way.)

You walk in the front door of Daystar to find a lobby that looks more like a Pottery Barn living room than an office. Not exactly what you were expecting from a counselor’s office.

You’re greeted by smiling faces and given a tour of the house. You’re even offered popcorn in our kitchen. After a few minutes, I come down the stairs to meet you, followed by my little therapy assistant, Lucy, a black-and-white fluff ball of a Havanese puppy.

Then we’d go upstairs to my office. I’d sit across from you, Lucy would likely sit right next to you or crawl up in your lap, and we’d start talking.

Actually, I’d start by telling you that anything you tell me is confidential and that I want Daystar to feel like a safe place for you. In reality, as much as a book can, I want you to feel this book is a safe place too.

• A place for you to learn more about not only what’s going on inside of you, but who you are.
• A place for you to write about what you’re feeling and learning.
• A place for you to discover more of who God has made you to be and the immense strength and courage He has placed inside you.

This book is called Brave because that’s what I believe you are already, even though we haven’t actually met. There are a few reasons I know you’re brave, which we’ll get to later. For now, just reading this introduction means you’re brave—that you know worry is something you struggle with and you’re ready to fight it. I absolutely trust that you can.

I have a feeling whoever bought this book for you believes the same thing. So even though we haven’t met, consider me a part of your team. That really is what I do for a living. I have the profound privilege of cheering on some of the most amazing girls in the world—girls just like you. My dog, Lucy, and I both do. It’s a pretty incredible job. Plus, who wouldn’t want to take their dog to work?

I hope I’ve already earned a little bit of your trust and that you’ll keep reading. I really do think you’ll finish this book not only knowing practical ways to fight your worry and anxiety, but also having found more of you along the way—with all of the bravery, strength, and heart God has placed inside of you.