All Vince wanted was sleep. Proper sleep in his own bed instead of restless naps on a hospital chair and the jolting of his heart every time he remembered. But it wasn’t happening anytime soon. He drove up his long driveway and turned the car to face back out. This wouldn’t be a long stop.
Someone had left flowers near the front door. A beautiful posy of winter blooms in a jar of water. A white ribbon tied around the jar had a card tucked into it.
No words. Here for you. L.
He climbed down the steps, went around the corner and looked up the hill to his neighbour’s house. There was no movement up there.
Word had got around fast.
Lyndall had known him long enough to put the flowers in water or he’d forget. And that he’d hate anything fancy. But this selection from her garden was Lyndall’s way of letting him know she knew. And she cared. She always had as his wife’s close friend. The one who was there when Vince wasn’t.
Vince pushed down gut-wrenching nausea. He couldn’t replay that day. Not now. Losing his wife was the worst thing in his life.
Until now.
He unlocked the door, swept the jar up, and went in. The cottage was almost as cold as outside. He’d never noticed it before but for some reason it mattered. As he passed the living room he glanced at the fireplace. Almost never used. The flowers went onto the kitchen table and he put the kettle on. Perhaps his stomach would settle with some tea and toast.
First though, he showered and shaved.
The tea scorched his throat, and he burnt the toast. But he ate it, slathered with butter to hide the taste. It helped a bit and he left the cottage feeling more level headed than he had in hours.
Back at the hospital he spent a few minutes with Melanie before she was taken to set her forearm. She still was drowsy from painkillers but managed a small smile when he kissed her forehead. When she was wheeled out, he stood by the window, lost.
‘Mr Carter?’
A nurse popped her head in.
‘Doctor Raju has asked if you’d have a few minutes. He’s one of our psychologists here and has already been in to see Melanie. I’ll show you the way.’
Vince had vowed never to set foot inside a psych’s door again, but this wasn’t about him. He was ushered straight into the office by a receptionist.
‘Ah, Mr Carter. I’m Doctor Raju, please come and have a seat.’ Tall and much older than Vince expected—from his limited exposure to shrinks—the psychologist shook his hand and then gestured to one of three tub chairs set around a coffee table. A woman rose from her seat, mid-forties, unsmiling. ‘This is Ms Dawn Burrows and she asked to sit in.’
‘Mr Carter, I’m a social worker with Child Services.’
The act of settling into the chair gave Vince a much-needed moment to collect himself. Of course there’d be questions over Melanie’s future, both short and long term. He’d dealt with enough situations in the course of his career where different agencies came together for the welfare of a child or family.
‘I hear Melanie is having that break set?’ The doctor asked.
‘She is. One of the nurses said you’d been to see her earlier.’
‘I spent a few minutes with her. Her pain medications were making her drowsy, but she spoke to me briefly. She’s a brave and intelligent young lady.’
‘What did she… um, did she speak of the accident?’ He didn’t really want to know.
‘No. But she said her grandad came to see her.’ Doctor Raju smiled.
A small warm glow began somewhere deep in Vince’s heart.
And was extinguished when Ms Burrows spoke. ‘I understand this is early days and all a terrible shock, but my concern is around the next steps with Melanie. Once she is ready to be released.’
‘She’ll come home with me,’ Vince said.
‘I see. What about other family?’
Looking for a better option?
He took his time, forcing his hands to flatten against his legs rather than curl into fists like they wanted to.
‘I’m her last relative on Susie’s side. Both my wife and I were only children and Susie was also an only child. No cousins and the like. David is similar. No family I’m aware of apart from his mum who had a bad accident years ago and has a full-time carer. There might be a cousin in England. Not sure.’
Ms Burrows wrote on a tablet as he spoke, glancing up as he finished.
‘And are you aware of an existing will or other legal documents regarding Melanie?’
‘A will was drawn up after she was born. But I also remember an off the cuff comment from Susie about it needing updating.’
‘How long ago was that?’
‘Couple of years.’
‘I see.’ She stared at Vince. ‘And what were the wishes for Melanie… in case of the current circumstances?’
Who plans for that? Who really does?
He had no answer and she pressed on.
‘Was there an expectation you would step in?’
‘Children are supposed to outlive their parents.’ He regretted the harshness of his tone the minute the words left his mouth. ‘Sorry. I’m exhausted.’
Doctor Raju leaned forward a little. ‘Please take your time, Mr Carter. Nobody will rush you into making decisions about Melanie.’
The social worker didn’t seem to share his opinion. ‘If no other family, then godparents?’
Over my dead body.
‘There are godparents, but you’d know better than anyone they don’t automatically have a claim on the custody of a child. Melanie is coming home with me. I have a spare bedroom which I will do up for her.’ Vince wanted to go. This was too much on top of everything else.
‘Of course, but if you feel unable to provide a proper home environment—’ she started.
‘I didn’t say that.’
Doctor Raju shuffled in his seat. ‘It is natural to feel reluctant to take a young child into your life.’
‘I’m not reluctant.’
‘Mr Carter, if I may… I believe you live alone, some distance from everything Melanie is familiar with. You have no public transport close by. And an eight-year-old is a lot of work. Primary school. Extra curricula activities. Friends.’ Ms Burrows said.
How did she already assume so much about him? What did she want him to say? He stared at his hands which now gripped his knees.
‘Melanie needs familiarity right now.’ Doctor Raju had a soothing voice. Easy to listen to.
Vince raised his eyes to meet the doctor’s. ‘She’ll have it. Mel knows me. Loves me.’
Ms Burrows stood. ‘We’ll talk further regarding the next steps, but I agree at this stage Melanie is best coming home with you. But there’s a lot of water to pass under the bridge before this becomes permanent so I would suggest you give this thought. A great deal of thought for what is best in the long term for you, and for Melanie.’
After she’d left, Doctor Raju suddenly smiled. ‘Melanie is lucky to have you.’
No response came to mind.
‘A difficult time for her. But also for you.’
‘I don’t need a shrink.’ Vince managed to keep his voice neutral.
‘You lost your wife when Melanie’s mother was young.’
‘And I don’t need a history lesson.’
‘Grief has a way of coming back to us. Grief and self-recrimination. If you feel the need to talk…’
‘Nah, I’m good. What do I tell Mel about it all?’
‘That you love her.’
‘I can do that.’ Vince got to his feet.
‘May I offer some advice?’
The doctor stood but made no move toward the door. ‘Think about getting yourself some grief counselling.’
‘That’s it?’ Vince asked.
‘I don’t bite.’
He might not, but old hurts did and were best kept buried.
Carla was slumped against the back of a fashionable leather sofa, a home pregnancy test dangling from her fingers and dried tears again leaving trails through her makeup. Her attention was on a large window facing the street and framed by curtains she’d had made to her exacting specifications. Bradley paced up and down the driveway coming in and out of view as he talked on his phone. His arm waved around. More and more often he wouldn’t take calls in the house and Carla had no idea why not.
He stopped dead and held the phone out to look at then swore. She raised her eyebrows lip-reading the expletive but as he shoved it into his pocket and headed for the front door, Carla grabbed a handful of tissues and cleaned up her face. By the time he joined her, throwing himself at the other end of the sofa with a grunt, she was sitting upright, the bunch of tissues hidden in a pocket.
‘What’s wrong, Brad?’
‘Work. Just work.’
‘You’re upset with someone.’
‘Damned right I am. If people just did their job…’ he looked at her for the first time. ‘Have you been crying?’
She held up the pregnancy test and he slid across to wrap his arms around her.
‘It’ll happen, Carla. We’ll keep trying.’
‘I’m getting too old for a miracle.’
‘We won’t give up.’
‘But why is it so unfair? Melanie is all alone with no parents.’ She pulled herself out of his embrace and took one of his hands. ‘And we’re all alone with no children. Where’s the sense in that?’
‘There is none.’
‘I wasn’t just crying about the test. I mean, yes, it is upsetting but then I remembered Susie asking me if I was pregnant last night. And if I were then I’d never be able to tell her…’ she drew in a long, shuddering sigh. ‘And I’m so worried about where Melanie will go once she is released. I couldn’t bear for him to get custody.’
‘Vince Carter?’ Bradley asked.
‘Yes, him. Surely whoever makes these decisions will see past his one heroic moment to all the harm he’s done? He was a terrible father to Susie, and I shudder to think how Melanie’s life would be with him.’
Bradley nodded. Which meant what exactly? Did he agree with her or just want her to calm down?
‘I know I sound upset, honey. What do you think we should do to help our little girl?’ She said.
His phone rang and he scowled.
Carla released his hand. ‘Answer it.’
‘I’ll get rid of them. What if we go to church for a bit?’ He stood, reaching for the phone. ‘Spend some time praying for Melanie.’
‘I’d like that.’
But he’d already answered the call and was halfway to the door.
‘And praying for Susie and David,’ she murmured.