Nick is perched on one of the tables, his head hanging down, arms limp between his knees, as I walk into the breakroom.
“Shouldn’t you be finishing up a show right now?” I blurt out.
He tilts his head, and I gasp when I see he’s sporting a very swollen eye.
“Nick!” I rush closer, my hand over my mouth. “What happened?” A few of the other employees look up at me, and yeah, I guess it is kind of hard to ignore a giant shouty hot dog, but still, mind your own business, people.
“Ari happened.”
“Ari punched you? But he was the one—” The look Nick gives me cuts that sentence off real quick.
“Nah, it was Ari’s brother, Kurt.”
“What?”
“Yeah, according to him, I’m an asshole for dating my own girlfriend.”
“Wow,” I snort. “Wait, isn’t Kurt only in ninth grade?”
“Thanks for reminding me.”
I reach for his chin, forgetting all about my skinned knee. “What’d he do?” Nick flinches, but then settles into the touch, shutting his eyes while I tilt his head to the side.
“Well, he took his hand, and made a fist, and then—” Nick starts, and I give his chin a little shove backward.
“You’re such an ass.”
“Yep.” His tone is playful, but his eyes are wary, like he doesn’t quite trust me. I wouldn’t either if I were him.
“About yesterday . . .” I shift my weight from foot to foot. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have blurted it out like that. If you hate me for it, I totally get it.”
He crinkles his nose. “I can’t have this conversation with you while you’re still in that hot dog suit.”
My ears burn. “Right. Give me one sec.”
I grab my clothes out of my locker and dart into the changing room. I get dressed as quickly as I can, tugging my Magic Castle T-shirt over my head and pulling on the bright orange shorts I came in with. Yeah, I know they’re hideous, but they’re comfortable, okay?
I have a half-second flash of fear about looking totally ridiculous in front of Nick, but then I remember, at this point, he’s already seen me sweaty and pukey and everything in between, so the bloom is off the rose or whatever. Nobody looks up when I walk over to the first aid box, and I’m pleasantly surprised. I grab a wipe and a Band-Aid and perch next to Nick on the table.
“What happened to you?” He nods toward my leg.
“Skinned my knee.” I smirk. “Obviously.”
“How?”
“I fell.”
He leans over for a closer look. “We’re the regular walking wounded around here.”
“Pretty much.”
“Anyway, I don’t hate you.”
“I would hate me,” I say. “I do hate me, actually.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t say that. It was a dick thing to blurt it out like that, but I get it. Honestly, how long did you know? Like, how embarrassed should I feel right now?”
“Only a couple days.”
He takes the Band-Aid out of my hand, unwraps it, and puts it on my knee himself.
Naturally, Jessa chooses that exact moment to walk in, along with about eighty billion other park employees because, shit, one shift just ended and I didn’t even realize it.
“What the hell?” Jessa shrieks. “Are you guys hooking up now?”
And of course that’s when Seeley trails in, just in time to catch the end of what Jessa said. She lets out this kind of grunt-sigh thing, and shakes her head before disappearing into the bathroom.
“Seeley.” I jump up but Jessa blocks my way.
“Haven’t you done enough already? Who knew you were such a snake, Elouise.”
“It’s not like that, Jessa,” Nick huffs.
“Right, Elouise is sitting here like the cat that got the cream, while you kiss her knee or whatever you were doing, and it’s totally platonic. I’m sure the fact that she told you about me and Ari right after Seeley ‘dumped her’ is a total coincidence, right? Come on, Nick, she planned this!”
I look up in time to see his face fall. The wariness is back, the distrust, and god I fucking deserve it, I do, but I can’t handle it, not right now. Not with Seeley on the other side of that wall and me still stuck out here.
“Is that true?” Nick looks at me, his eyes hard, like he’s trying to see right inside my brain.
I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep breath. “Is what true?”
“Is everybody I know lying to me?” He chews the inside of his lip, hurt and anger radiating off him in waves.
And yeah, I suspected this would all unravel eventually, but not right here, right now, when a thousand million other park employees are filtering in to clock out.
“No.” Okay, so maybe some of it was a lie, but . . .
“Is that why you told me about Jessa? Because you wanted me to go out with you?” It’s the way he says it, the way he says “you,” as if liking me would be some big impossible thing, that twists me hard. I know it shouldn’t, I know my heart’s really on the other side of that concrete wall, tucked away in the bathroom, but I guess Seeley left me with just enough of it to break a little more.
“No.” I roll my eyes back to keep from crying. “I didn’t tell you because of that. I don’t have some big ulterior motive here.”
“Sure.” Jessa sneers. “Like I believe that.”
“Do you ever shut up?” I whirl around, pointing my finger right in her face. “You act like you’re the victim, but you’re the one cheating! The only reason you’re not with Nick anymore is because of you, not me. And I’m sorry if people finding that out messes with your perfect image or whatever, but that’s on you. Nick is a great guy, a really great guy, and you cheated on him like it didn’t even matter. You did that. Own it.” The room goes all quiet then, no more shuffling or lockers shutting or random laughs. Just dead silence as everybody waits to see what happens next.
Jessa scowls and crosses her arms. “Not until you admit you’ve had a thing for Nick all along.”
I bury my face in my hands and groan so loud it hurts my ears. “Will. You. Just. Stop.” I drag a shaky hand through my hair. “You win. I admit it, okay? I used to like Nick. But who cares? And yeah, you got me, Seeley and I weren’t really together in the beginning.”
“See?” Jessa waves her arm, staring at Nick. “I told you it’s all fake.”
“No,” I say, cutting her off. “It’s not, or it wasn’t, at least not at the end. At least not to me. So yeah, you don’t have to worry about me and Nick. Because the only person I want to be with is Seeley. But I probably fucking blew it, so—” But the rest of my rant dies in my throat because Seeley is back again, standing right behind Jessa, staring at me. And if I wasn’t wishing for the floor to open up and swallow me whole before, I definitely, definitely am now.
“Lou?” Seeley steps forward, trying to get around the crowd.
“Sorry,” I whisper, and I bolt, the hot burn of tears pricking at my eyes. I don’t look back to see if they’re all still watching. I’m sure they are . . . but Seeley doesn’t come after me and that’s all that really matters.