Darren hadn’t left her side all night. Jennifer had promised herself to leave Kylee’s by eleven, but it was nearly midnight, and she was no closer to going home than she’d been when she first arrived.
“Isn’t your dad going to get mad if he finds out you’re here?” Darren asked. He had a dimple in his right cheek when he smiled.
And he’d been smiling the entire time he and Jennifer had been talking.
Jennifer didn’t like the fact that everyone in her school seemed to know how protective her father was, so she gave a convincing laugh and shrugged. “What he doesn’t know can’t hurt him, right?”
Darren laughed too, a confident, easy laugh. Jennifer wasn’t sure she’d ever been as relaxed and happy as he appeared to be right now as they sat side by side in Kylee’s living room.
“I looked for you at the dance,” he said in a low voice. Jennifer couldn’t be certain, but she thought he leaned toward her an inch. His hand was so close to hers, a small twitch and their fingers would be touching.
“I, um, I had to leave early.” She hated herself as soon as the words escaped her mouth. Why couldn’t she have come up with something else to say? She cleared her throat and forced as massive a smile as she could manage. “What did you think, though? Did you have fun?”
“It was all right,” he answered. “I would have had even more fun if you were there the whole time.” He inched toward her again. His leg brushed against hers, or maybe that was just part of his pants. Jennifer was afraid to breathe. What if he could sense how nervous she was? What if she had bad breath? Why hadn’t she thought to add more deodorant before she sneaked out of the house and ran off with Shawna?
His pinky finger moved subtly. What was that? Was he trying to hold her hand? Sending her some kind of secret signal? She’d never held hands with a boy before. What if he took her hand now and it was all sweaty? What would he think?
She moved her hand and wiped her palm on the couch cushion. Darren looked down for a minute. Had she hurt his feelings? Did he think she was turning him down? She had to think of something to say, something fast.
“Dad hasn’t really been the same since Mom died.” And right there, Jennifer wished that she could disappear into the floor. It was as if the magic she’d been pretending to live under — here with Darren, him paying attention to her and only her — was a spell she’d just destroyed by bringing up such a depressing topic. She had to think fast, had to make it right, had to correct her mistake.
“Yeah, that really sucks,” he replied before she could say anything else.
She couldn’t breathe. Darren was staring into her eyes. He didn’t laugh at her. Didn’t get up and walk away. Didn’t abandon her to go find Lisa, who was so much prettier and cooler than Jennifer could ever hope to be. He didn’t do any of those things.
Jennifer gave a half-hearted chuckle. “Yeah. It kinda does.”
And they both laughed and started talking about Mr. Green, the science teacher back in middle school who was rumored to smoke marijuana on a daily basis. Half the girls at their school secretly had a crush on him, and there was no end to making fun of the ones who made the biggest fools of themselves to win his attention.
It was past midnight now. Jennifer knew she’d have to go home soon. She hadn’t meant to stay nearly this long to begin with. But she’d lost all sense of time with Darren by her side, their legs pressed up against each other, his pinky inching close to hers before pulling away so subtly she sometimes feared she imagined it.
Kylee’s stereo had already started to reshuffle its playlist. Only a few kids were left. Kylee wanted them all to come outside so she could show off the new hot tub in the back yard, and for a fragment of an eternity, Jennifer and Darren were in the living room completely alone.
He’d been telling her about what it was like spending summers with his dad when everything stopped. The din of the crowd. The song on the CD player. The pulse of Jennifer’s heart.
Their eyes locked. She couldn’t have looked away from him if her life depended on it.
And then his hand was on hers. Not just touching and slipping away. He was grasping her hand now, and all of a sudden, she didn’t care how sweaty her palms were.
And in that instant she knew. She knew that he would have never told Adam or Russ or Craig that Lisa was prettier. Would have never preferred to dance with Lisa. Jennifer thought back to the scene in the gym. He’d wanted to be with her. That’s why he gave her that look, that shrug. Lisa had grabbed him, demanded a slow dance, and he was too kind-hearted to turn her down. Shawna and Kylee and Lisa were all jealous. That was all there was too it. Jealous of Jennifer because Darren liked her.
Darren chose her.
Darren wanted her.
She held her breath, certain that if she opened her mouth just a little her heart would leap up out of her throat. That’s exactly when it happened. The tiniest of kisses, the kind that wouldn’t have even counted in any other situation. He missed her lips but grazed the corner of her mouth. A quick motion, not quite a peck but definitely something. Something real.
He pulled away. She tried to think of something to say. Anything to say. What do you say at a time like this?
She realized her hand was still in his. He hadn’t pulled it away.
She stood up. She had to think of something to do. Had to make it sound like this sort of thing happened to her every single day. Darren could never know that she’d never been kissed before, never held hands before, never been so in love in her entire life before. She just had to act cool. Natural.
Piece of cake.
“Wanna see the hot tub?” Darren’s voice gave a little squeak. Jennifer stared at her feet.
“I should get home,” she said. “It’s … my dad … It’s getting late …”
She raised her eyes once, let them flicker up to his face. Was he blushing?
She wiped her palm on the side of her pants. “Thank you,” she stammered and hoped that he wouldn’t ask what he was thanking her for, because she wouldn’t have the slightest clue how to respond.
Darren cleared his throat. “Yeah, um, thanks to you too. I mean, have a good night. I mean, yeah.”
Jennifer couldn’t suppress her giggle. “Okay. Yeah. Bye.”
He scratched at his neck. Shifted his weight from side to side. He called something out after her, but she was already racing toward the front door, her feet flying, her heart soaring into the stratosphere.
She was halfway down the driveway when a low, menacing voice made her stop in her tracks.
“So this is where you’ve been.”