Chapter Eighteen

Theo had been expecting a small acknowledgement of his compliance. Perhaps a hint of a smile or a kind word.

He was not expecting Jun to immediately reward him by slipping his fingers free and sliding down to suck his cock.

Jun’s strong hands held him by the hips as he bobbed his head, sucking so hard Theo could feel the pull in his toes.

“Oh stars! Jun. Captain. You really, truly ought to stop that if you wish this to last more than a moment.”

Jun pulled off with a wet pop that made Theo’s balls draw up tight. His voice was even lower than usual, as dark as deepest space. “Getting close?”

Theo nodded somewhat desperately, chewing on his lower lip and shifting fitfully on the bed.

Jun clamped one hand tightly around the base of his cock, letting the head rest against his lips as he spoke. “Don’t come until I tell you.”

He sucked Theo back down as if the matter was settled, as if Theo could simply stave off his own orgasm through sheer force of will.

Theo arched with a cry as he hit the back of Jun’s throat, and Jun just swallowed around him. “I can’t—I’m going to—”

Jun’s head came up with a growl, bared teeth pressed against Theo’s thigh, his fingers an iron ring around Theo’s cock. “You can. Be good for me.”

Maintaining focus had always been a problem for Theo. Yet somehow, like this, he could think of nothing else but Jun. His strong body and rough hands, the silken touch of his tongue, his deep, harsh sounds as he let Theo inside.

Be good, he had said, and Theo wanted to be that for him above all else. Only for Jun.

“Alright. Yes, I will. I’ll do my best, but you feel so—ah!”

Jun swirled his tongue on that sensitive spot just below the flare of Theo’s cockhead, and it was nearly all over. In an effort to get away, Theo twisted his hips, desperate not to disobey command. Jun chased him, holding his cock steady while he changed course. He flicked tiny little licks up and down Theo’s shaft that hit him like a jolt of electricity. It made him shake and huff out sharp little sounds on every breath.

Dark eyes flashed up at him through thick black lashes, and Theo finally lost his very last shred of dignity. “Please. Please, Jun. Captain, please! I need you.”

No response came beyond a slow, leisurely suck at the very tip, Jun’s tongue working him like a kiss, dipping sweetly into the slit. Theo dug his heels into Jun’s shoulders, speaking through gritted teeth. “Jun, I swear by your giant, ugly, rusted ship. If you do not get up here and take your clothes off, I will shoot down your throat in the next three seconds.”

That got a reaction.

Possibly more of a reaction than Theo had bargained for.

His spit-slick cock slapped against his belly as Jun released him. Theo waited, legs tossed to either side while Jun prowled up his body on hands and knees, his clothes scraping against Theo’s skin. Jun leaned down to take Theo’s jaw in hand, eyes snapping. “I thought you said you were going to be good. What happened to that?”

Theo squirmed with a plaintive whine, grasping the ribbons tightly. “I’m sorry. You feel so incredible, and I’m not used to being on the receiving end of that particular act. I want to—I want to be good, but I’m not. I’m just not. No matter how I try. Please don’t stop.”

He shut his mouth against the building overflow of humiliating, pleading words that crowded his throat. Asking Jun to stay, to keep Theo close even though he wasn’t any good. Promising to try harder, to do anything, to let Jun do anything he fancied, anything at all.

Jun seemed to hear him anyway, brow furrowing as he softened his grip on Theo’s jaw. He stroked Theo’s face lightly, tenderly, and Theo had to blink against a sudden mortifying threat of tears. He let out a strained bit of laughter, instead.

“I’m sure it’s no surprise to you that I can’t manage to control myself for more than a minute at a time. That I can’t even pretend to be good for you.”

Jun’s forehead pressed so hard against the side of Theo’s face that Theo could feel his lashes flutter, and then Jun was gone, moving away. Theo bit back a harsh cry of disappointment when Jun sat up and climbed off the bed entirely. He turned his face into his upper arm to hide as he began to work his hands free of their binds. It wouldn’t take more than a moment’s work to escape the loose ribbons.

“Stop.”

Every molecule in Theo’s body halted at the command, breath frozen in his lungs for half a second before he released it on a sigh and turned to face Jun.

Jun, who was—

Nude.

Entirely, gloriously nude.

The sound of air whistling back into Theo’s lungs was nearly as humiliating as the way his cock blurted a drop of excitement into his stomach at the mere sight of Jun.

There was a lot of him to see.

Not overly large in build, but every inch of him carved from warm stone and decorated with dark ink. Ink covered his arms in dozens of intertwined images Theo would like to dedicate some months to studying in detail.

Black lines traced the contours of his abdomen, pausing to form geometric shapes along his ribs and then thinning into bare lines again through the dip of his Adonis belt and down his thighs. Dark hair obscured some of the imagery on his calves, but it only made Theo burn to take a closer look.

Jun came back to the bed and dropped a bottle of lubricant by Theo’s hip. He made a space for himself between Theo’s thighs. His cock jutted up dark and hard and insistent as he took a moment to trail his fingers over Theo’s skin. At Theo’s shiver of response, his face brightened, his smile small but sharp. “Good. You’re doing so well, baby.”

Baby. It hit like a fist to the diaphragm, stealing Theo’s breath. He had been called all sorts of things in bed over the years. Darling, sweeting, tart. None of it had ever drilled straight through his sternum to lodge so firmly in his heart in quite this way. He feared now that if one were to examine that organ, one would find Jun’s name scrawled across it in indelible ink. Alongside the word “baby.”

Theo shook his head even as he lifted his hips in a nonverbal attempt to spur Jun forward with the proceedings. “What utter nonsense, Jun. I haven’t been good at all.”

Theo’s breath hitched when Jun picked up the bottle and lifted his leg.

“Yes, you have.” Jun’s voice was so hushed Theo could barely hear it over the sound of his own heavy breathing. “Better than I deserve.”

And then Jun’s fingers pressed wet and thick against Theo’s entrance, and Theo’s thoughts scattered like leaves to the wind. Nothing left behind but heat and pressure. He yielded, taking in two of Jun’s fingers to the hilt, gasping at the realization that those tattoos were now rubbing against his walls.

Jun came up and buried his face in Theo’s neck as he started to move his hand, opening Theo up and brushing against that small spot that made him see stars.

Theo let loose a sound he didn’t recognize, something new and raw and entirely too honest. Much to his dismay, his open throat could only speak the truth under Jun’s soothing tongue. He tried to gather his scattered wits about him to save face. “You don’t have to—you can just fuck me. I’ve never had so much attention paid to me in bed, and I’m afraid it will quite go to my head if you do not stop.”

Jun sucked a patch of Theo’s delicate skin between his teeth, letting his fingers curl just so inside him. Theo tensed and moaned and tried not to feel claimed by the possessive mark left behind even as Jun finally let go to mumble against his throat. “I’m not stopping until you beg me to.”

Theo didn’t say that he was afraid of becoming addicted to Jun’s intensity and attention only to have it taken away again. He didn’t say that he was afraid nothing could ever satisfy him again after this. He didn’t say that he wanted to wake up to Jun’s grumpy face and fall asleep curled in his capable arms.

Theo didn’t say any of that; he just let the sounds that climbed up his throat spill over his trembling lips until Jun began to grunt and rut against the bed with every thrust of his fingers, his own voice gravel-rough.

“Fuck, you sound so good. That’s it, make some noise for me.”

He added more slick and a third finger, and Theo started thrusting up against his hand, feet planted on the bed and thighs shaking. And when Jun pressed him firmly back down to the mattress with his free hand, he cried out so sharply it rang against the metal walls.

Jun was a strong, reassuring weight holding Theo to the bed, and it was as if something clicked into place inside him, something he had been searching for his entire life.

Theo melted back into the bed, legs falling open and arms going limp against the pillow as he slurred out his words, lids falling half-shut. “Please, Jun.”

The rising satisfaction on Jun’s face warmed Theo from the inside out. Jun carefully removed his fingers and braced himself on his elbows to either side of Theo’s head. He nosed at Theo’s cheek, lips damp against his skin. “Ready for me, baby? Damn, you’re so pretty when you beg.”

Jun slowly let the warm, solid weight of his body press Theo into the mattress.

Theo had been writhing above the flames of his need for so long that Jun’s body fell on him like cool water, quenching the ache in a cloud of steam, fogging up his mind with desire. “Please. Please, Captain.”

When Jun sat back up, the longer strip of hair atop his head fell artfully across his face, sticking to the sheen of sweat and emphasizing the glint in his eyes and his swollen red lips. Theo had never seen a man more beautiful.

Jun picked up the bottle and hesitated, his serious gaze pinning Theo to the bed far more securely than the flimsy red ribbons. “I’ve had my jabs, but I could go get a—”

Theo wrapped his legs around Jun’s hips to pull him closer with a gentle shake of his head. “No, that’s alright. I’ve had mine too. I trust you, Jun.”

Jun’s eyes went a bit wide at that, and Theo giggled as he fumbled the bottle with a curse in Patch.

Theo repeated the curse, grinning roguishly when Jun gave him a sharp glance. “I’ve been paying attention. If you’d give me data access, I could learn Patch on my own time in a few days.”

Jun groaned good-naturedly, popping open the bottle with one hand as he gripped his hard length with the other. “That’s all I need, another language for you to talk my ears off with.”

Theo attempted a shrug in his bindings, accomplishing little more than scooting his shoulders up the pillow. “Well, if you don’t want me to talk, maybe you should give me something more interesting to do, Capt—ah!”

Jun nudged his slicked cock inside with one long, smooth, powerful thrust. Biting his lip, he dropped the bottle and hitched Theo’s legs higher on his hips. He bottomed out with a grunt, teeth bared like an animal.

Theo went a little wild beneath him, bucking and thrashing against his bindings. “Fuck! Untie me; I’ve got to touch you.”

Those bared teeth flashed white and sharp as Jun shook the hair out of his face and adjusted his knees on the bed for leverage. The muscles of his abdomen flexed, ink rolling over the skin in undulating waves. “Not yet. I want you to beg first.”

Jun gave him one hard thrust, and then another, until he had built up a brutal rhythm that set Theo’s teeth rattling and his heart racing. He started begging in every language he knew, which only seemed to encourage Jun to go faster and harder until the obscene slap of their flesh filled the room.

Theo frantically tugged against the ribbons, wincing as they started to cut into his wrists.

Slowing to a stop, Jun shushed him while he stroked his hands up Theo’s arms. “Shit, you’re gonna hurt yourself. Here, let me just—”

He untangled Theo’s hands from the ribbons and brought his wrists down to rest on Theo’s chest between them. Jun rubbed at his arms and kissed the pinkened skin of his wrists in silent apology, then murmured into the marks, “Sorry, baby. Should’ve let you go, but you looked so good. I’ll do a better tie next time, so you won’t hurt yourself.”

Next time.

The words sparked a chain of small explosions in Theo’s chest, culminating in a flash fire that spread all over his body until he was nothing but flames in Jun’s embrace.

He fisted Jun’s hair in one hand as he trailed his nails down his back with the other, scoring the lines of ink with his own signature. Jun hissed Theo’s name and bucked his hips, eyes reflecting the fire inside of Theo even as his hands remained gentle and sweet along his ribs.

Theo urged Jun down onto his elbows, lifting his hips to rub his leaking cock against the straining muscle of Jun’s stomach with every thrust. “Jun. you’re so—I want—”

He shut his mouth against unwanted words, biting them back with clenched teeth. Heavy, painful words he knew he couldn’t say. Words that would undoubtedly prove unwelcome, since Theo’s love and affection, once earned, was unrelenting.

Stifling—as it had been described before. Things Jun did not want from a casual liaison such as this.

Better to keep it to himself.

Their lips brushed, softly, unconsciously. Less than a kiss but more than nothing.

It wasn’t nothing.

Theo’s breath caught in his throat, lips trembling as he tightened his neck muscles against the urge to reach up for more. He clenched his hands over Jun’s shoulders, nails digging in.

Jun pushed in hard, frozen in place as he watched Theo with an expression so open it seemed like it hurt. He took one ragged breath, then pulled out to flip Theo over onto his stomach. Jun then worked his way back in with short, smooth thrusts, picking up the pace.

His lips brushed over the nape of Theo’s neck, mouth open and panting with punched-out grunts and softer sounds, whispered low.

His hands glided down Theo’s arms to circle his wrists and brought Theo’s hands up onto the pillow beside his head. Jun dug his elbows into the mattress and laced their fingers together.

That wasn’t nothing either.

Carefully, tremulously, Theo stroked his thumb across Jun’s knuckles where they interlaced with his own, and Jun gasped, hips stuttering.

Then, just as slowly, just as carefully, Jun began to kiss Theo’s neck. Blatantly, unmistakably kissing him until Theo’s own lips ached with envy.

Jun unlaced their fingers on one hand and dropped his to stroke Theo’s cock in time with his thrusts. He made a soft sound of surprise when Theo reached out to take his hand again, holding it tightly.

“No, I don’t need it. I can finish like this; just keep going. I’d rather—” Theo laced their fingers back together and brought them up to press his lips to Jun’s knuckles. “—rather do it like this.”

This time, the sound Jun made was anything but soft. “Fuck, yes. Come on my cock. Show me.”

A minute shift of his powerful thighs and suddenly he was thrusting harder and deeper, dragging the head of his cock relentlessly over Theo’s sweet spot. Jun shoved Theo against the mattress with every push, rubbing his cock over the sheets in too-much, not-enough bursts of pleasure that built and built until Theo was shaking in his arms, clutching at his hands.

“Right there! Right there, don’t stop. Please!”

Jun caught the sensitive curve of Theo’s ear in his teeth with a growl, and Theo shouted as he spilled across the sheets, squeezing Jun’s hands even as his body tightened around his cock. Jun released his ear with a harsh, stuttering breath, barely able to pant out his words. “Good. That’s so good, baby. Holy shit.”

Jun lost his rhythm, pushing in harder and faster as he whispered praise into Theo’s hair until he finished with a rush of warmth inside of Theo, muscles locking in place with a grunt.

Theo braced for Jun to roll away, clean himself up, and leave without another word. In Theo’s experience, such was customary of a casual lover who held no interest in forging a deeper connection.

That was his only excuse for the tight, relieved sound he made when Jun’s weight collapsed on top of him, crushing him into the mattress with a sigh.

When Jun finally rolled to his back with a muttered apology, Theo simply followed him and propped his forearms on Jun’s chest with a bright smile.

“See? I told you that you could be gentle.”

The height to which Jun’s eyebrows aspired was rather ambitious, in Theo’s opinion. “You think that was gentle?”

He took Theo’s wrists in his hands, prodded at the rapidly fading marks, and then he brought them to his lips to lay the softest of kisses across his skin. For some reason, those tiny kisses echoed through Theo like siren bells ringing. Jun cut dark, satisfied eyes up at him, and it was truly a wonder that Theo’s heart didn’t break a rib with the force of its pounding.

Jun didn’t whisper, but his voice hovered below conversational tone. It was husky, and sweet, and all the more intimate for the curving dip in volume. “I should never have touched you. I told you, I can’t be gentle. I break things.”

The regret written in two tiny parallel lines between Jun’s brows shot through Theo like twin arrows, stinging his eyes with the threat of ill-timed tears. He sniffed them away and donned a brisk, no-nonsense tone, tapping Jun smartly in the center of his chest. “Well, you can practice with me. I won’t tell anyone. You can still be big and bad and scary, and nobody has to know that you’re gentle with me sometimes. That you can be soft and sweet, too, when you want to be.”

Jun pulled a face at that, full upper lip lifting in a sneer, but his hands closed over Theo’s shoulder blades, petting soft and sweet and, yes, very gently down his back. He ran a careful hand down the pale expanse of Theo’s spine, still speaking low as if he didn’t want to be overheard. “All of this blank, virgin skin. It isn’t safe.”

Tucking his hand under his chin, Theo blew a lock of hair out of his eyes in a habit that Ari had assured him was terribly uncouth. “What makes you say that? Everyone looks this way back home. Regeneration fluid takes care of any scars, and we don’t do all of this lovely decorative ink either. Which I’m beginning to see is a terrible failing for us.”

He slanted a glance up through his lashes as he dipped his head to trace one of the dark lines over Jun’s collarbone with his tongue. It was just as satisfying as he had imagined.

Jun hissed and shifted beneath him but did nothing to stop Theo’s meandering tongue, letting his own hands caress Theo’s back in little circles. “It makes you look expensive. Valuable in a way you don’t want to be around here.”

Theo pushed back up to study his face. Jun was chewing on his plush lower lip as he ran his hands over Theo’s skin with a soft reverence emphasized by the scrape of callouses on his tattooed fingers. He seemed as fascinated by the contrast as Theo was himself. It gave Theo a surge of confidence. “You like it, though, don’t you? That I look so different from you. Like a— What did they call me? Like a Doll.”

Jun’s hands fell away as if Theo had slapped them, eyes wide on Theo’s face. “No. You’re not a Doll. Never say that again.”

The slight tremble in Jun’s jaw drew Theo’s attention. And the thread of fear in his words. “Why not? That’s what your crew keeps saying.”

Jun shook his head once, sharply, and tugged the twisted sheets up until they covered Theo’s hips. “Bad things happen to Dolls, Theo. You’re not a Doll.”

Ari had once likened Theo to a shark, with the way he latched onto things in conversation and refused to let them go until they had been torn to shreds. “What’s a Doll, then?”

Sorrow flickered across Jun’s face, leaving trace elements of sadness behind in the crook of his mouth and the corner of his eye. He sighed so deeply Theo rose and fell with it as though he were riding the crest of a wave. “People. They’re people in a shitty situation. Traded like collectibles between Crews. Like, fucking, objects.”

It was a concept Theo had heard alluded to but never discussed in polite company. One of the horrors that lurked beyond the Verge. It made his skin crawl to ponder it. “But, that’s awful.”

Jun’s hands tightened over Theo’s back as his jaw firmed with resolve, accented by the parallel lines of ink. “Yes, it is. And I’m going to stop it.“

As he made that proclamation, all Jun needed was a cliff face along the moors as he stood facing the wind with a hand to his heart and a dark cape billowing in the wind. Or, at least, Theo’s vivid imagination insisted that he did.

Theo tried not to let his breathless reaction to that mental image color his voice when he whispered, “How?” but objectively failed at the task. He could practically hear Jun’s walls going back up, heavy emotional doors slamming shut with a mental clang.

“You don’t need to worry about that. I told you I’d keep you safe, and I always honor my word.”

Theo played with the tattooed fingers of Jun’s right hand, humming with understanding. “Yes, I’ve seen your dedication to honor. Honor and Valor. Why did you choose those words?”

Jun pulled his hand away and lifted his index finger, rubbed his thumb across the characters. “It’s a reminder.”

Theo waited for further explanation, but it seemed Jun was finished. Theo angled his head inquisitively but Jun avoided his eyes. “A reminder of what, precisely?”

Burying the tattoos under Theo’s curtain of hair with a sigh, Jun continued reluctantly. “A reminder of something I once forgot, but never will again.”

The sudden fierceness in Jun’s voice brought Theo up with a jolt, cutting through the peaceful air incisively. Alarm trickled down his spine like a slow poison. “You forgot your honor? What—did you accidentally leave it under the table in a tavern one night?” Theo continued with a little smile, trying to lift the mood, “I left mine out behind the stables when I was seventeen, so I know the feeling.”

Jun sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He grabbed his trousers from the floor and jumped into them with both feet at once. Theo made a valiant effort not to fixate on the still-visible shadow of dark curls at the open front to the exclusion of all else.

Jun hesitated, then slowly, gently combed through Theo’s mussed hair and rubbed a few strands between his fingers. His expression was anything but distant when he met Theo’s eyes. “You should get some rest, Theo. Tonight, you were— That was—was really, um…”

He looked so lost, floundering beneath that tough, inked-up, muscled exterior, it made Theo’s stomach flutter with simmering affection.

Taking mercy on his captain, Theo stroked a hand up the outside of his thigh with an understanding expression. “Good?”

Jun’s relief at not having to articulate the thought himself was palpable and gave Theo the oddest urge to gather him into his arms. He gusted out a grateful sigh. “Yes. That. You were. You are.”

Theo padded after him to the door, carelessly nude and love-rumpled. Jun stopped in his tracks to stare at him like a starving man before a feast when Theo dangled one crushed red satin ribbon in front of his face. “Dream of me, Captain.”

Jun’s nostrils flared as Theo tucked the ribbon into Jun’s front pocket with a conspiratorial smirk and a little pat.

The door slid closed across Jun’s stricken face, his Valor hand raised to cover his pocket as if it contained something precious.

Something he didn’t want to lose.