6. Deciding What to Keep and What to Remove

IT’S TIME TO BEGIN THE PHYSICAL ACT OF ORGANIZING, but don’t think that the preparation you did in the earlier chapters doesn’t count. The work you’ve done up to this point has equipped you with a realistic plan for success. The careful thought you’ve devoted to this project will help you work more efficiently and make the decision-making process easier. This chapter deals with the second R and G of REORGANIZE—“round and round” and “get rid of (or not).” You’ll be removing objects from the area you are working in and making decisions about whether or not to keep each item in the space. It sounds like a big task—but you have prepared yourself for it. At the end of your organizing session, you will feel energized by the progress you are making.

Before you get started, take a photo of the area you are about to work on so you can mark the progress you’ve made. There is something about photographs; they tell a truer story than our memories or our subjective eyes allow us to see.

Before we start, a quick word about perfectionism, and I know it well because I’ve been there. Learn to outsmart yourself. If you’re having trouble making decisions, think about temporary, transitional solutions. Or think about my favorite phrase, “one step closer.” You may not be able to make a final decision, but if you can make part of the decision or create a probation area, then you’ve moved yourself one step closer to where you want to be.

SETTING UP

As you begin organizing, these are the materials and supplies you’ll want on hand:

Camera: for before and after pictures

Your inspiration: a picture of your future dream space or who you’re doing this for, a written explanation of why you are doing this, or an inspirational quote

Your completed Room Tour Questions for the area

Your completed Home is Not Home Without Chart

Notebook/plans

Music or an audio book

Timer, if you intend to work for a specific amount of time

Snacks, water

Boxes or plastic bins: Use plastic bins if you plan to store belongings. Use boxes for items leaving your house.

Tags, stickers, labels: It’s easy to forget from one day to the next which box was for recycling and which was for donating. Always mark your boxes/bins/bags, or you’ll be shaking your head when you have to relook at the items to figure out the purposes of each box.

Markers

Trash bags

Scissors

This book

I also suggest you bring a phone with you. If possible, avoid answering the phone while you work, but keep it nearby if you have someone who relies on you in an emergency.

Identify Your Receiving Areas

Before you start, identify where your holding areas will be. You will need a holding area for the boxes of items that are leaving your home, whether you are donating them, giving them to friends and family, or disposing of them. Some people will take the boxes directly to their cars, which makes it harder to revisit the box’s contents and moves them one step closer to delivering the box to its final destination. If you forget about things in your trunk, write yourself a note on an errands pad or a sticky note, and keep it near your dashboard in plain view. Schedule a time on your calendar to make the trip.

Other people hire an errand service to take away boxes to donation or consignment. Having someone else finish the work of removing the items can be a relief after making so many organizing decisions.

You’ll also need a holding area in each room of your home. I suggest you simply place a box labeled “Keep in (name of room)” in each room. You will fill this box with items that you have moved from other rooms in your home as you organize those rooms. You can find a specific home in the room for each item when you are ready to organize that room. This keeps you focused on one task at a time and takes the pressure off of you to find homes for everything at once, which can be overwhelming. Keep this receiving box in a room even after you finish organizing it because you will still be organizing other areas and may find new items that belong in this space. You can address these new items in the future when you fine-tune the systems in that room.

Set Up Your Boxes and Bins

Your boxes and bins will be your companions as you organize. These temporary containers will keep your piles separate and clearly
labeled so you don’t need to revisit your decisions. They are also easy to stack and carry. You will need a minimum of three boxes—keep, donate, dispose—but it’s often helpful to have more categories. If possible, have a separate and clearly labeled box or bin for these categories:

Keep in this room: You’ll know what goes in this box because you’ve decided on the key purpose or activities for this room. If you think most of the items will stay in the room, after you’ve made a decision on the item, simply place it right where you found it.

Keep, but belongs elsewhere in your home: You can make one box for the entire house or one for upstairs and one for downstairs if you think a lot will be leaving the room. Distribute the contents of this box to receiving boxes in the appropriate rooms only after you’ve finished organizing for the day.

Sell

Donate: If possible, have a separate box for each organization you are donating to. It will save you sorting time in the future. At the very least, label each item with where you are donating it so sorting will go faster in the future.

Give to family or friends: Again, name each box or put a sticky note on the item.

Belongs to someone else: This can include borrowed items and items that belong to someone who no longer lives in the house. It is traumatic, and I’m not overstating this, for someone to throw out your things. I’ve heard many stories, such as a mother throwing away her daughter’s coin collection. The daughter is now in her fifties and still remembers this event; plus, the daughter now tends to hold on to too many things, partly because of this incident. When you are done organizing, you can contact the owners of these items and ask them to come pick them up or offer to ship the items to them.

Probation box: This is for items that you can’t decide on right now. You may find it easier to make the decision after the room is completely organized.

Trash/recycle

Wherever you have space, line up the boxes in the same area. If you keep them all together, you won’t need to hunt around the room for the box you are looking for. They all will be side by side, clearly labeled and easy to choose from.

Use these boxes so you don’t need to leave the room while you are working. If you leave the area you are working on, you will get sidetracked and may not get back to your main task. Stick with one area until you complete it. Then address the boxes from that area.

WORK LIKE CLOCKWORK

Your holding and receiving areas are ready, as are your boxes. Now you’re looking at the room you want to reorganize and wondering where to start. Think clockwork—from left to right. Pick a starting point in the room and work methodically in one direction around the room in a clockwork fashion. This allows you to see progress quickly, which is motivating. The opposite would be crisscrossing the room, or cherry-picking individual items because you know they don’t belong in this space. If you use that method, you can’t see your progress as clearly.

Imagine a couch that is filled with clothing and other items. Now imagine you’ve worked on decluttering for a while and can sit down on the couch. What progress! How would that feel? You want the small successes to spur you on and keep you going, particularly when you are starting out, but also when you reach a point when you’re just not sure you want to continue. Sometimes that happens.

Work around the perimeter of the room first, working down one wall, then the next. After that’s done and you’ve enjoyed the feeling, work in clockwork fashion on items that are in the middle of the room.

I helped a client transform a dining room into a work/study space. We worked around the perimeter of the room and then worked on one flat surface or in one drawer at a time. When we came to the desk in the middle of the room, we worked on one desk drawer at a time. Then we worked on the items that were standing or sitting next to the desk, around its perimeter. The point is to choose a spot, designate it in your mind, and work only in that spot until you are done. If you need a visual marker, use chalk to outline boundaries on the floor or tabletop. One client came up with her own version of dividing up the space. She had divided her room into quadrants. She would work on one quadrant at a time. Brilliant! She has a strong visual sense, so she could mark off in her mind what belonged in each section she’d work on. Not clockwork, but definitely methodical. Or another client, working on her attic, divided this large space into departments or sections: the home décor area, the memories section, the travel and suitcases area, etc. This is the second R of REORGANIZE—round and round. You methodically work around the room while you are organizing.

NO-REGRETS DECISIONS

Now let’s talk in more depth about making these tough decisions about what to keep and what to let go of. This is the G in REORGANIZE—get rid of (or not) and also the L in SIMPLIFY—let go without regrets. You may find decision-making is easier because now you really know why you’re decluttering or downsizing. The most important thread is why you’re doing this. Commitment follows.

The first time you start sorting your belongings, keep the list of questions on pages 101–103 in front of you, along with your completed room tour questions and Home is Not Home Without Chart. When you hold up an object to decide whether to keep it or not, ask yourself those questions.

When deciding what to keep and what to let go of, we all want to make decisions we won’t regret. My no-regrets decisions list was inspired by a story my grandmother told me. When my great-grandmother died, my grandmother went to Grammy Nichols’ nursing home and got rid of absolutely everything. She didn’t save anything. I believe my grandmother’s generation was taught to move on quickly, and one way to do that is to pretend as if nothing had ever happened. More than twenty years later, my grandmother would still talk with me about regretting her decision to get rid of everything so quickly in the midst of her grief and sadness.

You may think simplifying and reorganizing will be easier if you just get rid of everything, but convenience now is not worth the regret you will feel later. That regret may cause you to accumulate more clutter in the future because you are afraid of repeating your mistake. Take your time and fully process your emotions so you can make wise decisions.

You don’t need to agonize over every item. If something is trivial and holds no meaning, go ahead and get rid of it. You may indeed throw away something small and then need it a month or so later, but it’s easy enough to buy a new one. You made the best decision you knew how to make at the time. It’s the major regrets we want to prevent. So start with this list of questions and keep track of which questions resonate and make you think more deeply about your decision. Feel free to write down your own version of no-regrets decisions and list what it would take for you to know that you’ve made the best decision you can at this time.

• Does this object fit into my new space that I’m imagining—measurements, scale, and style? Don’t worry if you are not sure. Some people can visualize their new space, but many cannot. If you’re not sure, keep the item for now. If you’re thinking it’s probably going to leave your house, put it in a probation box.

• Use a scale of 1–10. If it’s a 10, it stays; a 1, it goes. Where does this item rank on the scale? Ask yourself this question to know which direction you’re leaning. It can help you identify your true feelings for the item.

• Does this item make my house feel more like home? Is it a favorite? Refer to your Home is Not Home Without Chart (page 208).

• Do I love this item? Does anyone else in the family love it? If so, could I give it away, knowing it will have a home with someone I know and respect, who will enjoy the object as I have?

• Has the product expired? If you have lots of books, is the information contained in them out of date now? Science, technology, investment—many categories have information that expires, changes quickly, or can be found easily on the Internet or in a library. Do I already know the information in these magazines? Is there any reason to continue to reference it? Or can I pass along this information to someone who is newer to this topic or field? Many of us gather and keep books, not realizing that we see the bookshelves as proof of how much we know. Think about it and decide whether this is important to you.

• Can I find the information somewhere else (Internet, library, etc.)?

• Do I need the object, or do I just want it to have it?

• Why do I keep this? Say this question out loud and then verbalize your answer. Hear how it sounds. Are you keeping this out of guilt, obligation, and fear? How does that knowledge make you feel about the object? Do you resent it? If so, let go of it. What’s the worst that could happen? This often happens with collections and inherited items. Once people know that you collect a specific item, what happens? Everyone gives you items for your collection. It’s as if they stop thinking about what to give you. So in your collection, pick up each individual item and look at it. Why do you keep this one? Is it a true favorite with lots of memories? Or was it simply a gift that you never really had special feelings for? Think, too, about why you started the collection and whether this is still a favorite type of collection. Oftentimes, a collection matches up with a stage of our lives. We continue collecting because people expect it or because they continue our collection by virtue of their gifts. Left alone, we wouldn’t keep collecting. If you decide to stop a collection, let those who buy you gifts know so they don’t continue to contribute to it.

• How many of these do I really need? Do I need all of these or just a few to remind myself? You can take a picture of each item in your collection (or just take one photo of the entire collection) as a reminder and then give away those that aren’t your favorites. This photo idea really works, even for people who call themselves keepers, savers, or sentimental types. People even make a video of themselves, telling the stories of each of the items in the collection. It’s a neat way to pass along family stories.

• Would I pay to move it or store it? Sometimes putting a monetary value on a group of items will help, whether you are moving or not.

• If it’s a practical item, when did I use it last? If it’s more than a year ago, the item probably isn’t of real value to you. If you’re not using something, then how does it bring joy or value to your life? Couldn’t someone else enjoy it more?

• If it’s broken, is it worth fixing? How long has this been in the repairs pile? This applies to home repairs, framing of pictures,
sewing repairs. Will you really use the item after it is fixed? Or has it been in the fix-it pile because you honestly weren’t sure whether you wanted to get it fixed at all?

• Does it fit me and my new lifestyle or the chapter I’m headed into? Give up the corporate suits if you’re moving out of that phase. Decide what clothing size you are likely to be. When was the last time your size changed? If you were to change sizes, would the clothes you have still be in style when you are able to wear them again?

• Does the good money spent on the item outweigh the space it takes up? Clothing, tools, and dinnerware—many items fall in this category because they’ve become part of the scenery of our home. If you’re not enjoying the item, then you’re not getting your money’s worth anyway, so who else would help you make sure its value is realized? Plus, you’ll experience an emotional payback in this way, another kind of value. Consider selling the item to recoup some of what you spent on it.

• Will you really get to this project you’ve been saving? Someday is today. You’re all about moving on now, so this is a great time to make a decision about all those projects you’ve bought the materials for. In the context of your new chapter and how you hope to spend your time, will you do this particular project or not?

• If it’s a gift you never enjoyed, can you pass it along as a gift to someone else? Unless they gave you the gift, they’ll never know if you regift it!

• Do I want my children to have this? Do I want them to go through all of this stuff? Realize that the decisions you don’t make will eventually need to be made by someone else. This knowledge is a powerful motivator for some people.

• Would I buy it again?

• What organization would appreciate and need this more than I do?

No-Regrets Decisions for Inherited Items

How can you make sure not to dishonor the legacy of a person when getting rid of items? This is a key question I’m asked when I work with a client on organizing inherited items, items given to them by an older relative during his or her lifetime, or items from a close family member, spouse, or partner who has died. It seems that if you throw away all the things he or she gave you, you’re disrespecting family history or the person, or denying the person ever existed.

When we’re overwhelmed or momentarily caught up in the emotion and grief, we sometimes think in an all-or-nothing, black-and-white way. Don’t make decisions when you are still in this stage.

As you evaluate the items, ask yourself, what was the essence of this person? What was he all about? What were his values? What was his personality? What is his legacy that you’d like to pass on?

When you can define the essence of the person, you have reached a place where you can keep enough to honor the person and to help you with memories. If you can’t do this yet, then you haven’t processed that initial grief; you’re more interested in keeping everything so you have constant reminders around you. Wait until you can identify the person’s essence and then go through things in stages as your grief eventually turns into acceptance. You needn’t keep everything the person owned to keep alive the legacy, memories, and the essence of the person.

Consider using a memory box to help set parameters for how much you keep. You can buy a box or use something around the house that fits the person’s style and personality. One woman has one memory box for her husband and another memory box for her mother. Both are on the top shelf of her closet, so she sees them every day.

Answer the Questions With Others

If you find that you’re still keeping too much, then stop for the day. Either come back to it the next day or call someone to work with you—a friend or a professional. A few years after my divorce, I realized I hadn’t touched any of my needlework or handcrafts, so I thought my handcrafting days were over. I had just started working as a professional organizer and thought it would be easy for me to go through these items, get rid of what I didn’t want or need, and reorganize the rest. I spent an hour. I kept everything! Well, except a few items that had gone bad.

I stopped. I called a friend, gave her the printed list of questions, and asked her to ask me those questions out loud as she sat beside me. The more I went through things, the more I talked, the more I understood the connection. I explained to my friend that I had grown up as the creative one in the family. Needlework is a skill that my grandmother taught me when she spent a lot of time at my house while I was growing up. I had also done a lot of needlework while I was married. My conversation helped me see all of my emotional connections to my crafts—they were a part of my identity in my family, a legacy from my grandmother, and a part of my marriage. I realized my supplies represented more than just “stuff.” I realized I had kept everything because subconsciously I had placed a lot of emotional value on the supplies. With this understanding, I was able to disconnect my identity and heritage from every single craft item and select only my favorites and what I would truly use. I whittled down my crafts by more than half without any regrets.

Talking with a friend helped me because I am a verbal processor. If you are a verbal processor, find a friend who will listen and not judge. If you are an internal processor, spend some time alone and really reflect on your feelings toward the objects you can’t let go of. Write out your feelings if that will help you process.

Making No-Regrets Decisions on Valuable Items

Before you sell or give away anything, you’ll want to decide or find out the value of what you’re getting rid of first. This is another part of having no-regrets decisions. By value, I do mean financial, but also sentimental and historical. You don’t need to keep any item simply because it is valuable. Knowing the value of an item will simply help you pass the item on in the most fitting way. Valuable items can be sold sentimental objects can be given to loved ones; historical items can go to museums, collections, or historical societies.

THE MORE YOU PURGE, THE EASIER IT GETS

As you start on your first organizing project, understand that your tolerance for “stuff” will decline as you work on each space. You may find that you need to return to fine-tune the organization in certain places—either because it turned out to be too hard to tackle on that day you had devoted to it, or because you want to get rid of more. One phrase I often use with clients is to focus on “progress, not perfection.” Start with what feels comfortable and know you can always come back later.

If you’re in a room with sentimental objects, this room will be emotionally tiring for you to work on, though perhaps not physically tiring. This is when you’ll really want to think about whether you work alone or with someone in the room. Recognize this will happen and stop earlier than you typically would so you don’t get burned-out. Let your mind and heart relax a bit and then continue. There’s a lot going on in your mind as you do this.

Sometimes it will feel like you are just moving stuff around. But you have to start somewhere. The reorganizing and decluttering process is like doing a puzzle. Just as with a puzzle, you’ll group like pieces together and then move them to where they belong. That creates more space for the next group of pieces you want to work in the puzzle or the next set of stuff or piles in your organizing space. We have to remove pieces that don’t belong in a space to make room for the transformation.

KEEPING TRACK OF WHERE YOU ARE AND OF DECISIONS

After you finish your organizing work for the day, you may want to make an inventory of all the items you are giving away and selling. This list will record your decisions and can support getting a tax deduction. It can also help you ensure you are giving equally among family members. The inventory can be a handwritten list, a spreadsheet, photographs of key items, or a video of each room—whatever makes you feel comfortable. You can use software to complete an entire home inventory if you want to have something more elaborate. Quicken has home inventory software. The Insurance Information Institute does as well. Or you can make up your own with information you think is important. Don’t spend so much time creating your list that you stop the actual reorganizing decisions, though.

A record can also be accomplished by putting removable stickers on each piece of furniture (or tags, pinned to the back of items so the tags are out of sight). On the sticker, you can write who the item is for or write the history or story of items. This method inspires some people. I worked with a woman who was moving on after a divorce. She called because she was overwhelmed, not sure where to start, and thought she had not made much progress on her own. When we put stickers and tags on items she had made decisions about, she couldn’t believe how much progress she’d already made. She had been keeping it in all in her head, but seeing the stickers and tags gave her a clear picture of her progress, and it inspired her to continue.

DEALING WITH ITEMS LEAVING YOUR HOME

Congratulations. The hard part is over—all those decisions have been made. You now have boxes of items that are leaving your home. We need to do something with those boxes before we can put your room back together. As I said earlier, a general guideline for getting items out of your house is to put the boxes into your car right away. Put them in the trunk. And so you don’t forget about them, write yourself a note on an errands pad you keep in the front seat near the dashboard. Remind yourself to stop at your donation or consignment places. If you need a longer distance trip or your schedule is busy, write yourself a note in your calendar. Figure out when you’ll be in the area of the store or donation site, and make an appointment. All these steps will prevent the boxes from overstaying their welcome in your trunk.

Items That Belong to Someone Else

If you have adult children who no longer live with you, you probably have lots of their belongings still in your house, particularly in their old bedrooms. I’m often asked how to get adult children to remove their stuff from their parents’ home. What is true in this situation is that children often have forgotten what they’ve left at their parents’ house. You see the items in their rooms often because you live with the items. My mother and I speculate that leaving things at home is the child’s way of hanging on to their family home. Others have said that when a child moves out, their first home or apartment is typically smaller than the family home, so they keep things at their parents’ purely for storage, and then they simply forget what they’ve left there.

As I’ve said before, don’t get rid of anything that is not yours to make a decision about. The best approach is to list all of the items that belong to your children that are still in your home and send them the list. Ask them to identify the things they know without a doubt they don’t want, and get their permission to get rid of these things. Then you can ask them to take away everything that’s left the next time they visit. Or you can wait until they visit and ask them to go through all the items and take the ones they want to keep, with the understanding that you will get rid of whatever is left. If you have a lot of artwork and schoolwork, winnow it down to the best items and give it to your child as a present, with the understanding that they may not want to keep all of it. My mother did this for me. I looked through my box, and out of a nearly two-foot pile of papers, I saved about ten items as memories. Even though I kept few items, the experience of going through the others was a sentimental journey into my past, which I enjoyed. When I finished reviewing everything, the journey was done, and I didn’t feel the need to keep everything I’d been given, just the special ones I might pull out again someday.

How to Give to Family and Friends

When you worked around your room, you had a box for items you wanted to give to family or friends. I suggest giving away those items first, because the feeling you’ll have when you see their faces or hear their joy will make all this work worth it. Here are some examples of how you can present items to loved ones in a fun, fair, and stress-free way.

Have a party. Some people will have parties or gatherings to give away items. One client had a clothing party with all her sisters after she organized her closet. Another client had a family gathering. The client was helping her mother empty her apartment so her mother could live with my client. The client’s siblings were called in, partly to help Mom get settled at my client’s home, but also to have a family gathering. Mom settled in her chair and told stories about many of the items she was giving to her children.

For several years, my grandmother gave us gifts from her past chapter with my step-grandfather, Uncle Dick. We cherished the gifts and the stories she told with them. Sometime after Uncle Dick died, she gave me an “I love you” ring he’d given her prior to their marriage. It happened to be around the time I was getting divorced, so it was even more comforting than she may have realized for me to wear a new ring on my left hand. She was moving on, as was I.

Let family members choose. Another benefit of having a gathering is that family members can choose which items they want, which is one less decision you need to make. There are several ways to make this process fair. Some families draw straws. They go around in a circle and each person gets to choose one item. Your turn is based on the length of your straw. If there are items two people want, they figure it out; no stress for the giver.

Divide it evenly. Some people will use their decisions record, including financial values on the items, to be sure that family members get their equal share of items, based on financial value.

Sell Items

Before you sell anything, have items you think have significant monetary valuable appraised. Experts at consignment shops, auctioneers, eBay resellers, and antique dealers can help with appraisal. Always get at least two estimates, just as you would with a home renovation project. Ask your friends and colleagues if they have sold objects. Just as you would if you were renovating your home or looking for a new doctor, find a trusted, recommended local resource. You’re letting go of items you once loved, so if you have a trusted resource, this letting-go process becomes easier. There are many options available when it comes to selling—estate sales, garage sales, online sites, and consignment shop.

Estate sales. If you have a lot of items to remove, including furniture, contact local estate sales people, also called estate liquidators. Despite the professional title, you don’t need to be wealthy to have an estate sale. The word is more often used to signify that the bulk of your belongings will be on sale. Don’t worry if you think you don’t have enough items. These companies sometimes combine property from two or more houses to have one larger sale.

Estate sales people work like consignment shops. Because they are doing the marketing, selling, and moving of your former belongings, they deserve to be paid, so they take a percentage of what you earn from the sale.

Consignment shops. Consignment can be a good option if you have a few high-end items to sell. Shops will want to see pictures or the items themselves to assess their sales value. Some consignment shops will donate your items if not sold, or you can take them back if you want them. However, I wouldn’t advise taking back an item that didn’t sell; you’ve made the difficult decision to let the item go, so taking it back would be emotionally difficult. Stick to your decisions.

EBay resellers. You can create an eBay account of your own and sell the item yourself, or you can hire someone to do this for you. If you choose to hire someone, your best bet is to find a person whom a friend has hired, but you can also look on the Internet for a local reseller or a group that can recommend one of their members. The benefit of eBay is that your items will be viewed beyond just your local geographic area. Selling on eBay takes time and expertise. Decide whether you want to use a reseller who will take a percentage or whether you want to use your time this way. You may have already sold items online or have a friend or family member who does, so that’s a good option, too.

Garage sales. I’m not a big fan of garage sales because you make little money for the time you invest. And if you’re removing things you once loved from your home, it’s emotionally difficult to negotiate price, with people on these items. Neighborhood yard sales are easier. Or check your local Scout troops, churches, and boys and girls clubs for dates for their annual rummage sales. These community sales have a built-in audience, potentially larger than an individual sale would attract.

Craigslist: Craigslist is a way to advertise your items online to a local audience. If you use this option, meet the person buying your item in a public place, such as a library, and don’t meet the person alone. This is a good safety precaution. Set a deadline for how long you will post the item and put the deadline in the listing so people make faster decisions if they want to buy.

Selling your items on your own can be quite time-consuming. If you are contemplating this option, ask yourself these questions:

• How much time can I devote to selling these items? You probably don’t want this to become a part-time job, so be realistic.

• Will the amount of money I make be worth the effort it takes to sell the items? Items appraised for a high price are worth selling, but in reality, your everyday items don’t fetch as high a price as you’d hope.

• What are your feelings about privacy? Are you comfortable meeting people or having them come to your home to look at the things you are selling?

When it comes to selling everyday items, remember we attach emotion to the objects we own, even if they were once favorites and are no more. For example, you may have bought a gorgeous plate on your honeymoon trip. Wonderful stories about it abound, and that’s the value to you. The financial value to someone who could buy the plate, however, will be less.

If it’s going to be difficult for you to hear what the financial value is of a once-cherished object, don’t sell the item yourself. Have a family
member, friend, or business person sell the item for you. You’ve done the hard work; enjoy it without worries. Let it go so you can move on. Some people feel like they’ve finished the hard part—the decisions—so they don’t want to extend this process by going to myriad stores and organizations to drop off their belongings.

Depending on what age or stage of your life you’re in, you may also find that objects you were saving cannot be used any longer. Car child safety seats are a clear example. The safety regulations have changed several times just in the past few years. With each change, there are seats that can no longer be sold. You may find, too, that certain types of objects are not in use the way they used to be. Silver and china dishes are two examples in my lifetime. It seems fewer brides are requesting these items, and yet our mothers and grandmothers expected they would pass down these items. The next generation will view some of your belongings in a different light and will not value them in the same way as you do.

Where to Donate

After you’ve given items to family and friends and sold items, you’re ready to donate what’s left. As I mentioned in chapter four, having a great place to donate your items can motivate you to give more items away. Think about who would be interested in the items you have. One woman I worked with had some rug hooking frames she made rugs on. We called the state council of arts and asked for their ideas. They gave us names of teachers of rug hooking who loved the donated equipment. Magazines, books, and even encyclopedias can go to nursing homes. Handmade doilies went to a senior center; people who shop there are of an age where they use doilies on their bureaus and their tables. Empty CD jewel cases were donated to a photographer who takes photos of returning soldiers and sends CDs of the photos to their families.

Talk to the organizations you are part of, friends, and local store owners. It’s a creative and fun process to find new homes for your things if you want to distribute them this way.

Joy’s husband had suddenly passed away several years before she hired me to help her make her house her own. During my first visit, she told me her husband’s books would be the last we’d go through. Her husband loved his books, and they represented his essence to Joy, so they carried a lot of emotion for her. The books were not about topics she enjoyed, so the next time she went to the library, she brought in a list of some of his books. The library wanted all the titles, either for the stacks or to support a fundraiser. It was easier for Joy to remove the books from her house because she could imagine a young person reading her husband’s books and enjoying learning as he had.

Another client, Christine, made beautiful greeting cards from exquisite papers and embellishments. She wanted to add a new craft to her crafting space but had run out of room, so she needed to cull her collection. A relative Christine had cared for had a wonderful experience at an Alzheimer’s day-away program. There were several such programs in Christine’s area. We contacted them to see if Christine’s craft items would be of interest. They were, so Christine made the trip to the program, met the staff and some of the clients, and gave her gifts. Imagine how good that felt.

When you think of places to donate, think of organizations that could benefit the most from your items. Think of groups that support your values or that have enriched your life or the lives of your loved ones, as Christine’s story illustrates. Be creative. Schools, religious organizations, career centers, caregiving facilities, hospitals, battered women’s shelters, foster care facilities, homeless shelters, and animal shelters are all wonderful options. Give them a call, describe your donation, and see if they would like to receive it.

TAKEAWAY POINTS

Work around the room like clockwork, making no-regrets decisions as you go. Stay in this one room for as long as you’ve designated to organize—it could be thirty minutes, an hour, or an afternoon. The main point is to stay focused. Continue working in this manner until you have gone through every item in the room. It may take you several organizing sessions to do this, but that’s okay. You need to remove everything that you don’t want to keep before you can reorganize the items you do keep. Don’t get in a rush to start rearranging. In the next chapter we’ll organize the items you decided to keep by wrapping up the remaining letters in REORGANIZE: analyze remaining items; negotiate the space versus your belongings; implement; zebra, be one; and evaluate, evaluate.