“Mary? Mary, did you hear what I said?”
Mary looked at her mother and nodded, even though she had no idea what Mamm had been talking about. They had already made apple cobbler from some of the apples Daed brought in before supper, and now they were peeling apples for apple butter. She loved apples and never tired of them. Their shiny deep-red color reminded her of holly berries, which reminded her of Christmas, which made her think of Quinn’s wedding, and then of all things, of Jakob.
“Humph.” Mamm set down her paring knife and looked at her. “You’ve been preoccupied ever since Quinn and Jakob were here. You almost burned the bottom of the rolls, and you never do that.” She paused and smiled a little. “They were delicious, by the way.”
Mary nodded her thanks, then said, “I’m sorry, Mamm. What were you saying?”
“I want to ask you something.”
Oh no. Was she going to ask about Jakob? To her surprise, neither of her parents had said anything about him at supper. Or . . . If her mother tried to get Daed’s secret out of her, she might have a hard time resisting. She almost wished Daed hadn’t told her about the quilt chest, but when she inquired why he’d asked Jakob to come over, he didn’t have much choice.
“Do you really think you’ll have time to make Quinn’s wedding cakes?”
She held back a sigh of relief. This was about Quinn, not Jakob. “Why shouldn’t I have time?”
Mamm picked up the knife again. “Did you forget you said you’d make six dozen Christmas cookies for the school program?”
Oh. She had forgotten that. She cringed, wondering how she was going to manage baking the cookies—decorated Christmas ones no less—in addition to figuring out Quinn’s wedding cakes, all while she was working with her mother as a seamstress for their Amish and Yankee customers. Ever since the holiday season had started back in November, she and Mamm had been sewing even more for Yankees than Amish, especially making quilted pot holders, aprons, and other items that could be gifts. It was a blessing to have brisk business, but that meant an extra-busy Christmas season. She was determined to meet her commitments, though.
“I’ll have to manage mei time well, but I can do it.” She glanced at her mother. “I can’t say nee to Quinn. Not about this.”
“I know.” Mamm sighed and turned back to the apple she’d been peeling. “Quinn is like familye to us, and that’s the only reason yer daed and I are fine with you missing out on Christmas Eve here. I do wish you could be with us, though.”
“Me too.” Although she was finding it harder to be the only single woman around her family at Christmas. She’d dated one other man since the breakup with Jakob, but she’d never had a beau on Christmas Eve. Last year she and Jakob had ended their dating relationship the day before.
A sudden warmth came over her as she thought about him. Only a few hours ago, he’d been sitting in the same chair she was in now. The effect he was having on her after all this time was so strange.
“I wish I could help you,” Mamm said, “but you know how our orders are piling up.”
“I promise I won’t let you down. You don’t have to worry about me missing out on work to do mei baking.”
“Oh, well, I think there’s a little wiggle room there.” She smiled. “Let’s finish these apples and get them cooking. We’ll let them cool overnight and then make the apple butter in the morning.”
Mary thought that was a great idea, and she and Mamm made quick work of peeling the rest of the apples. After the fruit had cooked in Mamm’s large stockpot, they put it in two big metal bowls and covered them with foil.
“That’s enough for one day.” Mamm yawned and arched her back, then pushed her glasses up on her nose. “I’ll see you in the morning, Mary. Gute nacht.”
“Gute nacht.” After her mother left, Mary pulled a pad of paper and a pencil from a kitchen drawer and sat down, this time in a different seat. Pushing Jakob out of her mind, she first considered the Christmas cookies. Each year the school gave a program, and now two more of her nieces and nephews were old enough to be in it. That was one reason she’d agreed to make so many cookies when one of the teachers asked. “Yer cookies are the best,” Juanita had said. “I know six dozen is more than you’d normally contribute, but they would really be appreciated.”
“I’d be glad to,” she’d said. Of course, that was before Quinn’s request for the cakes. Still, making cookies wasn’t that difficult. She had her own special cookie dough recipe, and she had Christmas cookie cutters. A few sprinkles of red and green sugar on top of each cookie, and they would be good to go.
Feeling confident that she could handle that task, she turned her attention to the cakes. She’d made scores of cakes since she started baking at age ten. But Quinn’s cakes had to be extra special and delicious, and now she couldn’t be sure she’d find the time to go to the library to research. She skimmed through two cookbooks and three boxes of recipe cards, then decided to make four sample flavors—chocolate because Quinn had said that was Tanner’s favorite, then Italian cream, yellow, and strawberry.
She set down her pencil and rested her chin on her palm. She’d have to find time to go to the library. If she didn’t, she’d never figure out the best way to decorate the cakes. Maybe she could do that on Monday. The Christmas program was next Thursday evening, so the cookies would have to be done by then . . .
One day at a time.
She froze. That was Jakob’s favorite saying. Once again, she was thinking about him. The saying was a common one, and she’d heard other people use it. But whenever either one of them had felt overwhelmed, he’d always say, “One day at a time. That’s all we have to get through.”
Frowning, she rose from the table. All these thoughts about Jakob were temporary. By tomorrow she’d be so focused on her responsibilities that she’d forget all about him. Nodding to herself, she turned off the gas lamp in the kitchen and climbed the stairs.
As she dropped into bed fifteen minutes later, she realized Jakob certainly wouldn’t be thinking about her. He wanted the breakup, too, remember? And he’d avoided her just as much as she’d avoided him all this time. Their meeting today had just been accidental, with no other result than being civil in front of Quinn.
But as she closed her eyes, her mind drifted to the warm look he’d given her at the kitchen table—and how wonderful it had made her feel.
* * *
Jakob pulled on clean broadfall pants and a fresh shirt—then at the last minute, a blue pullover sweater, too—for the school Christmas program. Two of his nephews and three of his nieces were in it, and he hadn’t missed a single one since the first child was old enough to attend school. He looked forward to hearing the kids sing—and to the invariable gaff one or more of them would make during the program. Afterward came the social part—eating the treats the women of the community made for everyone to snack on while they all visited with one another.
He combed his hair, then went downstairs to the kitchen, where his mother was putting on her black bonnet. “Daed’s hitching up the buggy,” she said, tying the black ribbons beneath her chin.
“I was going to hitch it for him,” Jakob said, frowning.
“Yer daed was ready early, and you know he gets antsy.” She glanced at the doorway leading to the mudroom and clucked her tongue.
“I’ll geh out and help him.”
His father was almost finished, though. Still, he was glad he’d stepped outside ahead of his mother. Snow had started to fall, and he didn’t want her to slip on the porch steps. So he quickly swept them clean with a broom they kept propped near the back door in the winter.
On the ride there, he noted the temperature seemed to be dropping, and once they were at the school, he was glad the coal stove in the basement had already warmed the main floor.
This was the same place he and Mary had attended school. Memories of the Christmas programs he’d reluctantly participated in when he was a student washed over him. He glanced around, and on several of the older boys’ faces he saw the same forlorn look he supposed he’d worn then. He couldn’t help but smile. Right now singing in front of most everyone in the community might seem like torture, but someday, when these boys’ own children were in the Christmas programs, they would come to appreciate the event.
Family. Someday he wanted a wife and children of his own, God willing. At one time he thought Mary might be part of that future, but not anymore.
He pushed her out of his thoughts and looked around again. The school was one huge room with a divider in the middle that split the lower and higher grades, but tonight the divider was pushed back, along with most of the desks. Folding chairs for the audience were on one side of the room, and two folding tables laden with all the desserts had been set up on the other side. As he usually did before the program started, he moseyed over to see what kinds of treats he could enjoy later.
His gaze landed on a large platter of sugar cookies in the center of one of the tables. Although it was surrounded by other cookies, cupcakes, brownies, and homemade candy, he smiled. Those sugar cookies had to be Mary’s, and everyone knew her cookies were the best.
Jakob lifted his gaze and spotted her coming in through the back door, carrying another platter of cookies. She looked tired, and he almost joined her to ask if she needed help. He stopped himself when her gaze met his, and he saw only a coldness there. Fine. So much for civility. She didn’t want his help, so he wouldn’t offer it.
He turned to grab a seat in the audience only to find every chair filled. That was fine too. He could stand. But so many others were standing as well that the only place he could find was against the back wall. And the only space there was near the tables.
He didn’t look at Mary as she slipped in right next to him, obviously her only choice. But when he noticed her craning her neck to see the students, he couldn’t help himself. He tapped her on the shoulder, then gestured to switch places so she could see better. She paused, then gave him a curt nod. Boy, was she in a mood. He’d seen moods like this over the years both when they were friends and when they were a couple. Experience told him the best thing was to just let her stew about whatever was bothering her. She’d get over it eventually. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder what had made her so cranky.
He focused on the program, which as usual was enjoyable. Some of the students forgot their parts, and others not only sang out of tune but drowned out the other students. The older boys mouthed the words, something Jakob had done too. Then he caught his youngest niece’s attention. She was six, and she wasn’t shy about waving at him when he gave her a smile.
When the program was over, everyone gathered around the tables and filled small paper plates with the treats he’d checked out earlier. He’d been right about which cookies were Mary’s. Jakob let everyone else go before him, but he managed to get one of her cookies before they disappeared. Then he spent some time talking with a friend before turning toward the rest of the crowd to find most everyone already gone.
“Jakob.”
He turned to his father and saw the concern on his face. He was already wearing his coat and boots. “Ya?”
“The roads are getting slippery. We need to leave before it gets too difficult to travel in a buggy. Most families have already gone home.”
He nodded, then glanced at Mary. He’d noticed she’d played hostess the entire time, making sure everyone who wanted a cup of cider received one and giving the two teachers time to visit with their students’ families. But now the teachers were already cleaning the classroom, and he knew they wouldn’t leave until the place was put back together and spotless. “I think I’ll stay and help Juanita and Tabitha.”
“You’ll have to walk home,” Mamm said as she joined them, wearing her cape and bonnet.
“That’s fine. I’ll be warm enough, and I have mei flashlight.” He didn’t mind a walk in the snow.
“All right.” Daed nodded and backed away. “We’ll see you at home, then.”
Jakob joined Tabitha, the teacher who taught the younger grades. “I’ll get these chairs for you,” he said.
“Danki, Jakob.” She looked up at him from lowered lashes. “That’s very kind of you.”
Tabitha was single, and by the way she was looking at him, he realized she might be interested in him. But he wasn’t interested in her. Turning, he started folding chairs, then stacking them on two carts. He rolled the carts one at a time to the back of the classroom, and when he’d finished, Tabitha was shoving the last of the desks into place. Juanita must have left without his noticing.
He was about to see if the two dessert tables were ready to be folded when he felt a tap on his shoulder.
“I really appreciate yer help,” Tabitha said, smiling up at him.
“You’re welcome.” He took a step back. Yep, she was definitely interested. She was a nice girl, pretty in a nondescript sort of way, and only two years younger than him. But there was no attraction or spark there, and he wasn’t going to let her think there was. “I should be going now—”
“Would you like to come to mei haus for a while? I have marshmallows and some homemade hot chocolate, and we’re just two doors down. Then if the weather gets really bad, I can take you home in Daed’s sled. He won’t mind.”
“Jakob’s already promised to help me carry mei platters home,” Mary said, coming up beside him.
Jakob looked at her, bewildered. Then he felt her pinch his arm. A light pinch, which had always been her signal that they’d talk later about whatever was going on. In other words, he needed to go along with her.
“Oh, that’s right.” He slapped his forehead in dramatic fashion. “How could I have forgotten that?”
Tabitha looked from him to Mary, then back at him. “I didn’t realize you two were still together,” she said, looking disappointed.
“We’re not,” they said at the same time.
Mary smiled, but the gesture seemed strained. “It’s just that no one else was still here to ask. Everyone was in a hurry to get home, including mei parents.”
“Understandable, because of the weather.” Jakob wasn’t too thrilled she’d felt the need to say he was her last resort at the same time she was helping him out. Maybe he’d ask her about that.
The bigger question, though, was why she would help him at all.