True to her word, Joey helped coordinate Danica and Dex’s wedding. Within a week of her return from Texas, the Slayers’ training camp had a day off, and the team’s quarterback discreetly arrived at the courthouse to marry his bride in a simple late-afternoon ceremony that had brought Joey to tears.
For the first time since she’d traded princess stories for her mother’s law books, she believed a relationship full of love but void of lies was a real, tangible thing.
“Thank you,” Danica said to Joey, holding her bouquet out of the way so they could hug. Dex stood near the judge’s chambers where the newlyweds would make a quiet exit to a waiting car. “Arranging this, being here, transforming the place. The flowers are incredible.”
The floral arrangements were her gift to the couple. Though short notice, the extravagant Bonita Gardens of Texas order had arrived this morning, and a few courthouse employees Joey called friends had been happy to help put it all together.
When the room was cleared, and Joey left alone with nothing but an abundance of flowers and her thoughts, she smoothed imaginary wrinkles from her pale blue pencil dress. “It’s all changing.”
The lives of her friends, her relationship with everyone who loved her in Texas, her feelings toward Zaf.
There was no question that she was irretrievably in love with him. He’d told her not to love him or forgive him, but she had gone ahead and taken both actions.
Because no one and nothing controlled her heart, she realized. It functioned independently of someone else’s warnings and her mind’s reservations.
As with the flowers she’d nurtured growing up, she could either feed her heart what it craved, or see it wither. Take a risk or stay on the shelf.
In the parking lot Joey slid into the Ferrari but picked up her phone before turning the key.
Eddie had called. She missed the family already. He was probably following up about the autographed practice ball she’d promised him. TreShawn Dibbs had offered it to her before her trip out of town, and she had yet to pick it up to send to her football-crazed kid brother.
“¿Bueno?”
“Hola, manito. Calling you back. Is this about the football?”
“No, not that. Look, Joey, I’m just going to say this. Maybe I’m too much like Papá or it could be Mamá’s right and I have a long way to go till I’m ready for the Esposito family business, but there’s something you gotta know.”
“What?”
“They’re lying to you.”
“Who? Eddie, come on—”
“Everyone’s lying. Mamá and Papá know Zaf Ahmadi’s the one who shot you in that messed-up bust. They know about Gian DiGorgio. Mamá put you under her protection when she hired Zaf. He’s working for her.”
“What?”
“Swear to God,” Eddie said. “I might be a jackass for telling you, but I had to. The way you were acting with him at the reunion... I don’t know, it looked like you have it bad.”
Because I do and I can’t hide what a fool I am.
“I had to tell you, Joey. I’m sorry.”
“Shh, está bien.” It wasn’t, though. But maybe she was too much like their mother, and found it easier to lie.
When she hung up, Joey drove home. She parked on the curb, not in the driveway beside Zaf’s pickup. Next door, Aggie was in her front yard setting up sprinklers, but as Joey got out of the car, the woman trotted across the lawn.
“Joey, hey. I wanted to give you these.” She pulled a small envelope from her shorts pocket. “I won a country club raffle for a pair of tickets to the erotic arts festival next month. To be honest, it’s rather highbrow for me and I’m not seeing anyone. I thought you and your sexy man of mystery might go, instead. So, here.”
Joey eyed the envelope. The sexy man of mystery wasn’t hers. He’d never been. Paddling through her grief until she could form words, she said, “Thanks, Aggie.”
Going directly to the guest room’s walk-in closet, Joey looked around. It was a work in progress, coming together in such a way that she could see its potential. It was very much like her...
She was unfinished, messy, complicated. But she thought Zaf’s patience and attention to her was a labor of friendship, if not some form of love.
It wasn’t, though. The closet remodel was just a solid, a favor, a job. Being with her was the same for him.
“How was the wedding? Any paparazzi get in the way?” When she didn’t immediately answer, Zaf turned to study her through goggles. “You okay?”
“The wedding was fine.”
“Good.” His smile was a rare thing, and while it had the power to arrow straight to her core and make her feel laden with desire, today it only danced on her pain. “Better step back,” he said, going to a sawhorse. “Don’t want shavings to get all over you.”
“My neighbor gave us tickets to see an erotic festival. I shouldn’t have accepted them, since we’re not going.”
“Yeah, of course we won’t go if you don’t want to. Check this out. The transformation’s happening. Tell your shoes they ought to have a home in another few days.”
“Leave it,” she whispered, but he’d begun sawing and didn’t hear. “Leave it! Screw the closet.”
“What the hell?”
She sobbed, but there were no tears. Going to the guest room, she almost sat on the bed before she remembered the first night they’d had sex in this house. “I know Mamá’s your client. I know she’s had eyes on me, even though she swore she wouldn’t spy, and that she hired you.”
Zaf followed close, but he didn’t make the mistake of touching her. He whipped off the goggles and got in front of her. “Anita and her people are worried about you, damn it, Jo. When she presented the job, I told her no at first. I thought the best thing I could do for you was stay the hell away—”
“How right you were. What did she tell you? That I can’t fend for myself? That you owed me your protection because of Arizona?”
“She said I was the best man to keep you safe.”
“How much is the firm paying you? Tell me, how much am I worth to y’all?”
“Stop—”
“Oh, I want to know. And the sex? How was that negotiated into the deal? Are you paid bonuses for having to endure fucking me, or is that a perk for you, Zaf?”
“The sex is because you and I want it. Don’t ever say it’s something other than that. I can’t shake you, and I’ve tried.”
Joey shrugged. “So we have great sex. We get along that way. But it doesn’t change the fact that my mother has once again interfered, and she handpicked you to guard me. It was my right to fall in love with you again on my terms, not because of her meddling.”
Zaf froze. “You love me?”
I don’t want to. I don’t want to be your fool.
“I can’t do this anymore, Zaf. Call my mother, tell her the job’s canceled. I’m sure she won’t care if you keep the money the firm paid—”
“I’m not getting money.”
“What, then?”
Anguish surged in his eyes. “Anita and your uncles, they’re helping me get to Pote.”
Pote. Damien Pote was a drug lord who kept himself mobile and his operations fluid, and had managed to escape numerous convictions over the past fifteen years of his reign within America. He employed less influential drug-traffickers and terrorists to carry out orders.
“Was Pote involved in your cousin’s murder?”
“Anita’s informants say he was.”
Joey hurt from head to toe. “So this was about Raphael, from the start. It’s about that ring, Zaf, and this obsession you won’t drop.” And it dawned. “You lied to me, when you said you’d given up the hunt. You’re still Archangel.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s too late for apologies.” She wiped her face, shook her head; everything was still havoc. “I’m going to leave for a while, give you time alone to get your things.”
“Jo, don’t—”
Tuning him out, Joey got in the Ferrari and drove.
* * *
Full squad practice had been especially punishing today. Eleven hours after reporting to the main building’s cafeteria for a team breakfast meeting, TreShawn felt as though someone had hacked at his muscles with a dull pickax. The media had invaded and the owners were guests at the facility. On the sidelines of the practice field, Marshall Blue and his wife had assessed each roster member and coach behind their reflective sunglasses and almighty attitudes.
Mediocrity wouldn’t make the cut—not this season. Last year TreShawn had celebrated a championship win, but that didn’t mean his job was secure. So today special teams had pushed hard, and he’d pushed himself harder. Ignoring the brutality of the practices and the spite spewing from short-tempered coaches as everyone reviewed the taped practices on a projector that magnified the players’ every mistake, no matter how minuscule, TreShawn had battled for his job.
The Slayers performed a miracle last season and had trading leverage. To keep his name on the roster, he needed to show the special teams coordinator, the head coach, the GM and, above anyone else, the owners that when it came to the kicker position, they already had the best.
The team wasn’t down to fifty-three players yet, but that would change soon after the men pissed and results came through. Teammates had talked about the coaching staff’s reluctance to cut too many should they need to make adjustments for league and franchise policy violators.
But TreShawn figured that at this point, the Blues’ roster was next to finalized. Some of the men sweating and bleeding through reps wouldn’t step on a game field in a bloodred-and-silver uniform, and some wouldn’t play a single professional game.
Anxious to protect what belonged to him, TreShawn had trudged from one end of hell to the other and back. Now he was going home—not for another stupid-ass party, but to kick back with a friend.
Minako’s crossover Buick wasn’t in his driveway, but a black Ferrari was.
“I was just about to leave,” the driver said, getting out and coming around the back of the sweetest luxury ride he’d ever seen.
“Joey?” TreShawn could no longer remember how many times he’d invited her to his place. Each time she turned him down. She went to charity stuff, showed up at clubs, accepted invitations across the roster—but when it came to anything one-on-one, she was impossible to get. A man who wasn’t sprung would’ve quit messing with her, but she had something more than hotness, a superb set of tits and a rockin’ ass that compelled players and staff to stare.
“Hi. I stopped by for the practice ball. I should’ve called—”
“Hold up, hold up.” He got out of his truck and met her at the rear of the car. “I like this, coming home to this. Seeing you here. You’re...”
TreShawn paused, waiting for her to interrupt or twist away the way she’d been evading him the entirety of training camp.
“What am I?” she prompted in that sexy accent.
“Crying.” Another step forward, and still she didn’t bolt. “Where’s your man?”
Joey shook her head, and he caught her jaw in his hand, settling his mouth on hers.
The exhaustion camp had left behind cracked, and adrenaline pushed through. The ghetto boy with no prospects had grown up, was getting paid big money and had a woman like this. It was the ultimate dream, and he was living it.
Pulse thundering, skin heating, he pressed close and kept her in place with a hand molding tight to her ass.
Did he taste confusion on her lips? Resistance? He wasn’t certain, but she was unresponsive in his arms, until she moaned.
Wait. Or was that a sob?
“What is this?” someone shrieked behind them.
Joey pushed at him with one hand and steadied herself with her cane as he turned to see a Buick on the curb. The driver’s window was down and Minako’s head poked out.
“Min,” he said, watching her fling herself out of the car and stomp to the other side. A car bulleted past and he almost lost his shit, but she darted safely back then threw open the passenger door.
Emerging with a wine bottle and one of those insulated bags she used whenever she brought over dinner, she deposited the items on the ground and shouted, “Take this so I don’t feel like an idiot for preparing a lasagna from scratch. Go back to mauling her now.”
Was she pissed? “Why are you yelling?”
“We had plans tonight.”
“Chilling in front of the TV. We can do that anytime.”
“No.” Minako looked from him to Joey. “You’re the woman from the Mirage. I thought TreShawn would leave you alone, since you have someone. But...he must be really hard up.”
“Hey,” he warned her, “back off. Quit sweating me, like you’re my woman or something.”
She drew back as if he’d hit her, and he realized he’d never wanted to see that expression on her face. Minako was fiery, tough, a scrapper—but apparently, she could be hurt.
“No, I’m not your woman, TreShawn. Just your friend. I think you’d rather have enemies than friends.” She started walking, backlit by the last rays of sun melting on the horizon. Her long black hair moved through the wind like whips; the sway of her narrow but feminine hips drew his eye.
“She’ll be all right.” Would she? If TreShawn went to her stucco house and waited beneath her window, would she give in to a smile and come back to him?
Was he wrong to ask that of her?
“I think she’s hurting,” Joey said. “Coming here was an epic mistake. So was the kiss. Now two more people are casualties of the craziness that’s my life. I’m leaving.”
He picked up the lasagna and wine. “Wait, Joey—”
“TreShawn, I can’t be what you need. And you keep looking after her car.” Joey withdrew an envelope from her purse. “If you apologize and make it clear to her that I’m not in the picture, I think she’d appreciate sharing this with you.”
It wasn’t until after Joey fled and TreShawn sat alone in his mansion eating the meal his pissed-off friend had put together that he opened the envelope. Tickets.
An erotic festival. With Minako Sato?
* * *
Zaf was packed, keys in hand, but he’d be damned if he walked out the door without seeing Joey once more.
She loved him. What the hell was he supposed to do with that? Five years ago their hearts had been aligned, but when he’d infiltrated her world in Las Vegas he hadn’t assumed—or wanted, for her sake—to reclaim the love that could bend and break them both.
Joey’s family had called on him to protect her, but all he’d done was reopen the wounds he left on her heart.
In the guest bedroom, he surveyed the unfinished closet remodel. It was a simple game of geometry for him, should’ve been completed days ago, but so many times he’d let Joey and her busy hands and sexy talk lead him off task.
He loved her to distraction and was beyond saving.
Zaf sensed her return before he heard the front door open. Swaggering into the kitchen, following the music of her footsteps and the tap of her cane, he lingered in the entryway as she rinsed her mouth over the sink then took a handful of jelly beans from the jar.
“I saw your duffel on the couch,” she said after a while. The silences between them had once been comforting. Now they hurt. “When are you leaving?”
Never, if things were different...if they were different. “Now. I called Anita. She wants to speak with you.”
“I realize she does. I haven’t answered her calls. She likely has crafted a rock-solid defense for her meddling, but I’m not in the mental state to tolerate it.”
“I informed her that I’m officially off this assignment.”
Joey stepped away from the counter and stopped just in front of him. Red rimmed her eyes and her chin trembled. “Assignment? I’m Josephine. I’m your Jo. How could you call me yours when you never wanted me?”
“I did want you.” There it was—honesty after all was said and done, and he was on his way out the door. “I do want you.”
“It’s too late, Zaf. I kissed another man.”
Zaf had no claim, no leverage, no room to throw his weight with her. But that didn’t stop him from swearing through the initial blinding pain. “That was fast, Jo.”
“Well, why waste a moment getting over you?”
It was meant to cut him off at the knees, but he returned, “You were rinsing your mouth at the sink when I came in here.”
“So you’re only exceptionally perceptive when it’s convenient? If you were consistent, if you’d paid attention to me all this time, you would have known the moment I fell again. The last time, years passed before I let another man touch me. Years.”
He hadn’t meant to reappear in her life, resurrect her love for him and leave her at square one. “Holding you like that wasn’t my plan.”
“Plans sure go awry for us, don’t they?”
“Yeah, damn it, Jo. They do. I didn’t plan to hurt you or come back and see you open up to me again. I didn’t plan this. But you loving me? That’s my friggin’ blessing and curse.” Touching her was a gift he didn’t deserve, but he grabbed it, anyway. He took deliberate steps, finally cupping her shoulders. “I didn’t ask for love or forgiveness.”
“I gave it to you, anyway. I can’t shut off my heart. I’m not like you, Archangel.”
In that moment Zaf despised his code name and everything he’d done in that role. The deceit, the plotting, the killing—no matter how necessary, no matter the cause. Joey had restored his humanity and his faith that this was still a world of miracles and forgiveness and, yeah, love.
“Kissing someone else felt strange. Wrong. You push me away, say you don’t want to hold me, but you keep pulling me back.”
“I’m not pulling you back,” he muttered. “This is.” He brought her hand to his chest, flattened her palm over his heart. “I love you.”
She untangled her hand and went to the living room to muscle his duffel bag to the floor. “You don’t get to do this to me, Zaf. You can’t come here on a lie and then say you love me when you’re packed and ready to walk out.”
He slung the duffel’s strap over his shoulder.
End it here. Don’t ever come back. It’s over.
“Great, keep walking, Zaf.”
But the note of dark grief in her voice cuffed him, holding him still. The strap slid from his shoulder, the duffel hit the floor with a thud.
Turning, he heard her breath catch before her hand knotted in his shirt and he seized her mouth. His tongue swirled in deep, and picking up the flavor of the candy and a bitter undertone of dish soap, he wanted to replace the taste with his.
“I love you, Jo,” he said, unzipping her dress and peeling it off. “I didn’t want this. I wanted to lie until I made it true.”
“We’re not easy. We’re a mess.”
“But good together.”
“In this way.” She pushed up his shirt to kiss his pecs, tongue his nipples and nuzzle his chest hair. “When we touch each other, we don’t lie.”
So they didn’t talk. Zaf carried her and her cane to the first room he saw with a bed. He set her down and stripped her naked. She watched him, asking for nothing as he threw off his shirt and jeans.
When he joined her on the bed, she flipped to her side and he couldn’t see her face. But he could feel the dampness of tears as when he brushed back her hair and his cock nudged into her from behind.
She reached back to clasp his head, and rocking with her, he said into her ear, “The love’s not new. It’s not something I lost and picked up again. I never stopped loving you, Josephine.”
Nodding but not speaking, she tightened her hold on him and let him bring them to a point where nothing existed but the love soaking their bodies, riding on their moans and fusing them together.
Afterward Joey slipped away to the kitchen for a drink of water, and Zaf spread out over the bed, running his hand along the sheets. Her heat remained there. If he missed her when she was only on the other side of the house, how would he get by without her?
His phone rang from the pocket of his jeans, and he sprang up to get the call. The conversation was short—no salutations, just information.
It was time to go.
Zaf was pulling on his shirt when he found her perched on the counter. “How’d you manage that?”
“I functioned in this kitchen with its tall cabinets and high shelving before you came along, Zaf.” Noticing that he was dressed, she asked, “You’re not unpacking that duffel, are you?”
“Anita called again. A sting’s being set in New Mexico—”
“Pote?”
He came to her but turned away, and her legs parted to make room for him as she kissed the back of his neck. “This is it, Joey.”
“Call me Jo, until you’re out the door.”
“I don’t think I should walk out the door. I don’t want to leave you when you’re still on DiGorgio’s list.”
Zaf felt her sigh against his skin. He was only one man—one flawed, conflicted man. He couldn’t go to New Mexico and stay in Las Vegas. He couldn’t avenge Raphael’s death and still protect Joey.
“Go, Zaf. Finding justice for Raphael is why you wear the ring and it’s the reason I was brought down. My mother’s usually spot-on about these things, and if she says now is the time for you to be on the move, then listen.”
“Jo...”
“Don’t say it, whatever you’re thinking. It’ll just make this harder.”
He turned around, held her gaze. “So what is this?”
“Goodbye.”