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Oh goody, what’s this?
Hooray, finally, some company
Hey great, glad you made it
We want to take you on a little trip
Possession, that is!
So, buckle up compatriot
Going to be one HELL-A-RIDE
It’s time
Us, in this guy
Sitting in He-man underoos
Damn this boobtube
This guy
Too broke to have a 55”
Humans, walking these out the store on the daily
Lame ass, get a credit card
Oh goody, look at this here
Wonderful, the news
Money for the monkeys
Marketing is what we need
This evil makes us proud
Sexy, look at you
Feel that rodents
It isn’t a hand out
Greed, it’s mine though
Now you can’t afford
Anything at all
Like a broke ass song
The rich though, we influence them all
Purchase the world they think
Go in with big coins
With mighty paper, worth
Buy it all
One hundred new best friends
Super happy days, everyone loves them
Salesmen, come out of the wood work
White pearly smiles
Happy words to sap an ear
Not for the new toy
No way!
Not because he got you a deal
Hell no!
But for feeding his broke ass soul
Never poor
Commission livings
A tough go
Except for the guy on a podium
YOU DIDN’T KNOW!
Sweet baby Jesus, pay attention
momma’s gotta love
Check it out
Go diamonds, those motivational speakers
Go preachers of the word, redeemer
Its dollar bills they serve
Go Politicians
Lining their pockets
Obviously at someone else’s
Hell-A-Expense
Sell another positive book
Hey you, did god tell you to write that?
Broke asses gotta give the tithe
Reach deep, in the pocket
That is ten percent
HELL-A-EXPENSE
On the
LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND GREEDY!
Loving our influence with that
Give a donation
Healing your ass pits
Oh damn
What’s that?
6 months later, another corpse
Parasite in an open pit
Wait for it, another excuse
Speaking of that
“So, what is your excuse?”
Suddenly, HALLELUJAH god came to you
Some cunt in a white beanie, call it Miracle
HERE IS THE NEW BOOK for Hell-A-Expense
Prophecy after all
Shit, TV is such a bore
Isn’t that cute
Human parasites doing a dance
“What did you do with the remote?”
Douche shoved it in the back of the chair
Thankfully though, we can now flick the channel
Oh splendid
A shopping show, some stupid shit
Lonely granny, to buy with a credit card
This garbage is lame
We need a cheap whore
What to do, what to do?
We know, off to a human Box Store
“Remember, this is all your fault!”
Flip the switch
Get this body a stepping
Out the front door
Aimlessly looking
Need to borrow
Oh look, a midsize 4 door
Spare key under the driver’s door
Yes, always like that
Love those handy magnetic boxes
Full tank of gas, thanks for that
Drive, drive, drive
To the Box we go, in this new borrowed ride
“No, we never steal!”
While shopping for bigger, better, more
Products, from CHINA-EXPRESS
Get it cheap
Get it HOT
Luckily for us, the Chinese have suicide nets
These fuckers need to work
America’s new slave, Chink’s that is
“You can’t say that! Is that what you said?”
“What’s that? Racism.”
“Fuck you, happen to be a demon, doing what we want!”
Chink stuff is what we said
“Don’t get all prissy in the pants”
“Bitch, your house is full of it!”
Need to have the product
Want to have it now
Park the car and into the BOX store
Right there on an end cap
“Hey you, grab a pair of scissors.”
Shits made in China, better take two
Aimlessly walking
Back of the store
Eyes locked at printers
Take it out of the packaging
Testing, gotta verify
Chinamen got it right
Shit has got to work
USB sold separately
Cheap ass holes
Ten bucks! What’s up with that?
Screw you middle man
Just need to get it out
The scissors, snap in half, damn the luck
Made in China, no shit
Good for us, we grabbed an extra
“What is that you say?”
“Laptop, On Display”
“You’re kinda a useful parasite, now aren’t ya?”
Connect the printer
Garbage auto installs
Fucking BEAUTIFUL things
Open a package of paper
Six dolla and change,
Criminals, taking it to the bank
Unions have bills to pay
Insert a quarter of the bundle
Drop the rest
It beautifully floats all over the floor
Making a wonderful mess
We’re an artist after all
Call it, Le Ingenuity of Hell-A-Expense
Who doesn’t love Celine, that French guy?
Maybe we meant Fry, pondering
To Hell with it, not like you care
Like anyone gives a rip.
“Are we right or I AM right?”
“Just shake your head for yes parasite, thank you!”
PHOTO PRINT
These cartridges
HELL-A-EXPENSE
Open the package
Toss up the maintenance lid
Remove some blue tape
CLICK, CLICK, CLOSE LID
Test page, ugh, thanks again
Printer Manufacturer
WASTING US, SOME PRECIOUS INK
Crooked bastards, screwing us to a wall
Not quite like Jesus
More like Jesus, the lawnmower guy
Mexican’s get a bad rap
Flip the lid, its scanner time
This guy’s crispy dollar bill
Make us some copies
COLORED COPIES THAT IS
Double sided print
Hundreds of them
With the scissors
Its snip, snip, snip
Fake dolla bills
Filling these pants
Wanting to feel the stripper essence
Rubbing these balls with crisp new dolla bills.
ENTER EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH
A little bitch named Tim. Scrawny little guy with danger in his eyes. Someone who obviously belongs to the Mormon church. Yet, we all now, is still sucking from the tit.
Tim
“AHEM, Sir! What’s going on here?”
Paying no mind to the voices, have enough of those inside this guy’s head and besides, we have things to do, like printing dolla bills from this printer. Reluctantly to give a rip, we do our best to answer
––––––––
DEMON
“Testing the printer parasite!”
In an annoying, yet, shocking tone, because apparently, he doesn’t know who he’s addressing and, wants to grow a pair. Must have been in one of those, manager associate meetings. The kind, where the manager dictates just how importantly insignificant you really are! Oops, sorry, we meant an important resource to the company. Yeah, that was the slogan they sold him. Be bold or some bullshit
Tim
“Ahh, you’ll have to buy these items sir!”
Getting annoyed, turning only to see a freckled nerd twerp with glasses as stated above. With best observation, it’s beginning to look as if he just got off the ship, landing back in reality from a month-long trip to a world of piss and shit in mindcraft.
Demon
“Buy that he says, we have a thought, how about, No! See, you’re wrong! Chinamart is a no risk facility, we’re giving this Cocksucker a test run, don’t you have some mindcraft to play or something rodent?”
Removing the print job, continuing the cutting of dolla bills before we were so rudely interrupted. Tim, decides to chuckle a little bit, because suddenly, this is a comedy
Tim
“It’s actually called Minecraft; I’m working making sure everyone feels like a guest.”
In all annoyance, we just look on. OK, OK, yes, our eyes might have turned red or something, kind of a defect. So yeah, we retort like this
Demon
“You are not working and we don’t feel like a guest; you’re pestering the customers, which happens to be us. As you can see, we’re just minding our own business running this handy print job!”
Tim, who is obviously disturbed by our acts of self-indulgence, loses his shit, rudely cutting us off from my epic rant. Epic we tell you. I think he is bi-polar, so shh! No, we aren’t pointing any fingers. Yes, we are pointing to Tim here, but you didn’t see that, so don’t be a snitch! We got an eye on you, parasite!
––––––––
TIM
“SIR!! What in the name of the good father do you think you’re doing here? You opened paper, printer ink, the printer as well as that cable! Look at this mess, there is paper everywhere! I’m sorry, you need to pay for this. You can’t just come into a store and take things out of their packages and start using them!”
STOP!
Did you read that? What in the name of the good father line! Let me tell you, we’ve been around for thousands of years and well, yeah, no one has ever said something like that to us before. Kinda awesome don’t you think? Correct! “It doesn’t matter what you think! Parasites should be seen and not heard”
Now, not really giving a shit what Tim says, for obvious reasons mentioned above! We just courteously respond
Demon
“You should go blow the good father!”
Tim is in a world of confusion but we are a demon after all and have that effect on whimpering little parasites, he probably thinks Joe blow Smith is going to appear and save the day. “Shit, are we in Utah?”
Tim
“Sir, if you don’t pay for this, it’s stealing and I’m going to call security!”
Thinking as we often do, did this little bastard just accuse us of stealing? Thinking he did! That sure isn’t nice. This is where we draw the damn line. A lot of things we are, but a thief isn’t one of them. We borrow things, never steal them. Unfortunately, our eyes turn yellow when mad. Occasionally some smoke may potentially billow from our happy hosts mouth and nose, also, we cause our host to fart, a lot, it’s terrible. Can barely handle the smell. It’s the workings of some real Hollywood special effects here and our host’s ass just stinks! Probably should take this body in for a number two. Like an oil change. “What are you doing? Why you trying to smell our ass pervert? Believe the nerve on this one!”
Demon
“Stealing, you kidding me! Now kid, do you see us leaving with this shit from the Chinks? No, just making sure it would work for what we needed and well, it obviously doesn’t! What kind of shit are you selling here?
Taking the printed dollar bill in both hands, we show the human filth what it looks like.
Demon
“Look at this shit, does this dollar bill look real to you?
With the stupidest look on his face in the history of man he murmurs
Tim
“No, it doesn’t sir!”
Demon
“Damn right it doesn’t. How are we supposed to pass this off as real to a stripper?”
Having enough of this we spit in his face
Tim sits there with his mouth open as a river of drool hits the floor. The ass hole pissed his pants too. To help him out we stuff the printed dollar bill in his mouth to stop the drool and put some paper clippings to help absorb the liquid coming from his pants leg. Don’t look at us like that. Hey, that stuff on the floor could have been a slip and fall accident waiting to happen. Did you know, that Slips, Trips and falls account for 20 percent of all work-related injuries and 5 percent account for fatalities! I know, who knew! Well we did of course. So, us, the GOOD GUY’s. Actually, doing this kid a favor here and the Corporation, look at the money they’re saving in litigation. We should be getting a paycheck for the services. Don’t you think? That’s right, it doesn’t matter what you think Parasites. You’re catching on quick.
Demon
“Got nothing to say for yourself punk! Be thankful I’m in a good mood today and have places to be or I’d be talking to your Manager on your lousy people skills and obvious, lack of customer service! Bitch, you can keep the dollar too!”
Back to the action
Open the lid, grab the crispy dolla bill
Hit the bricks running
Off to the strip club
Porn is free tonight!
Via fake GW’s
Thanks’ Chinamart for your support
Paper money
Fake money,
“We know what you’re thinking!”
“Criminal, right?”
“Kiss us under the bridge in moonlight!”
But hey, like what
She going to start ink testing?
Spreading her legs
Showing her tits
Bust out a yellow pen?
We don't think so; you don’t think so!
Glad you’re back on the team
Land of the fake
Land of the illusions
Land of Business as usual
Single moms gotta pay rent too
Drive, drive and yes, we drive
Recklessly drive into the fun centers parking lot
It’s up over the curb
Slam on the brakes
Whip the car in circles
Good the hell enough
It’s out the car running
$10.00 charge at the door
Fucking crooks
$10.00 for a beer
Bastards, not even a reach around
The last $20 bucks this guy had
Now there went the lap dance
Sitting itself down at the stage, front row
It’s not a Heavy Metal show
Way better than that
Some fat bald announcer playing DJ
States the name of the dancer
“FYI, His job is comparative to coming back as a Female/Male bicycle seat, depending on your preference, something to wish for on the return visit. You can thank us later!”
The Dancer is “Raven the Red”
Oh Goody, we like red, is it Christmas again?
Oh dear, did we say that out loud?
Shit, that will get the Christians all up in arms
Probably come to do an exorcism
We call that, fitness
Dig in the hosts pants, pull out a handful of you know what
“What are you looking at?”
“Don’t play dumb, we watched you.”
“Oh, you wanted to see this guy’s love gun?
“Naughty little parasites, you’re going to hell!”
The paper cut on the shaft, well worth it
Here comes the action
She does her sleazy slut dance.
Its once, then twice, three times around the pole
Then the back door shot and the upside down spread
Spin and spin and spin
We bite our host’s fist
its stopping us from committing rape again
“You don’t judge!”
It’s all nice and tight, the way it should be
The way we like it
She makes her way, time to shove the melons in the face
Her essence is of cotton candy with fairy excretion
Making us want to jiz
She looks us in the eyes, smiles, then she opens her mouth
“Lean back baby!”
The voice of a nice little prostitute devil, just for us
Shoving her 9" stiletto into our hosts chest
Sexy long leg pushes us back, hard
We like it rough
She is doing the splits
This guy is hard as a rock
Then suddenly, she is on top of me, we mean us.
“Oh, we see, now you want in on this?”
“Suddenly gotta share this stuff?”
“Stop talking to us, she is looking at us
Like we’re fucking crazy!”
We are getting that odd look
Be calm
“Who you talking to baby?”
“Great, now look at what you did”
“If we get kicked out, I’m kicking your ass, parasite!”
She climbs us like we’re a rock
Her love muffin is by our mouth
Smells like fresh strawberry, yum, yum’s
Dropping onto this guy’s man pipe
Yeah, she can tell, wink, wink, its huge at this point
An elegant pierced nipple runs along the side of our nose
Of course, we accidentally give it a lick
She gives us a disgusted look
It was an accident, come on.
I think we’re going to get throat punched!
Hell yes, we want it rough!
We wink at her and usher her close
Whisper into her ear
“Don’t worry baby, extra for that!”
Blow her a kiss, damn near knocking her off our host’s lap
We have that kind of magical effect
She giggles, she shoves her big silicon tits in our face
Suffocating us, literally, can’t breathe
No serious, we can’t breathe
Fuck, stop, help
Our Host’s hands are flapping around for fucks sake
The light is going dim
The world ignites in our pants as man shaft explodes
Shoving the fake money in her bikini bottom
She gladly gets off, we kind of all got off
I think she was asking if the shit was real
Not quite sure.
“Did you read anything like that?”
We sure didn’t hear anything like that
Then she does the impossible
We can’t really believe what is happening
She actually pulls a marker out of her ass
Oh wait, WHAT!
DAMN, SHE DOES AN INK TEST
The world owes
MAKE IT PAY
With crisp new dolla bills
Run, run, run
“Hurry up parasite!”
A big fat bouncer and half naked Raven hot on our tail
Screaming their lungs out
“Stop that guy!”
All this Screaming and shouting from them
Really such a buzz kill.
Come on, you just wanted a little fun
The bullies want to thump a skull, not any old skull
This skull, we happen to be residing in.
“Hey you, just wanted you to know
“I’d really like to trip you! Hahaha”
Laughing as we go
Minds a racing
Let’s hope
Security cameras are of no quality
Hell, cameras are black and white’s, right?
It’s a dark stripper’s dirty hole paradise
No problem, we got this
“You’re probably wondering why we even care.”
“And well, we don’t, but let’s just roll with it
as if we did! Shit was your idea, any ol’ways!”
Out the door we go
Jump into the car
Keys in the ignition
Fire it up, Vroom, vroom!
Shut up, it’s a four door
It’s the only thing we could borrow
Slam it in drive
Floor the gas
One hellacious squeal
Happily, sticking the middle finger out the window
It’s off we go!
Driving, driving, driving and yes driving some more
Park the car in some abandoned lot
One block, from our happy host’s home
We’re not black, just lazy and don’t really give a damn
Through the doors, we go
Crawl into bed
Think that was fun
Sleepy time, night, night
Suddenly its
BANG....BANG......BANG at the door
Eyes crack to daylight
Mouth lets out a moan
Our minds ask.......
“What is this? Who the hell is knocking at this guy’s door?”
The door is kicked in
What the?!?
THE FBI
Printing dolla bills
Federal Hell-A-Offense
Cause nothing else is
There goes the fun
Guns upon thy head
Time to exit
It’s been a blast
Possession that is.
The sucker is carried away
Tossed in a cage
“Hope your happy, parasite!”
When a demon appeals to women
It turns out bad
Damn it man
Tits and ass
HELL-A-EXPENSE