On the initial title page of her most substantial journal notebook (a page now nearly obscured by notes in a later hand), Susanna Wesley has written hurriedly and upside down: “S. W 1709”; and at the top, right side up, an epigraph: “Think much and speak little.” More than a maxim with a general appeal to the meditative sensibility (and in accord with reigning views of female modesty), this sentence also catches something of the special predicament a thoughtful woman like Susanna Wesley found herself in—and something of the promise that a devotional journal might provide to such a woman.
In this earliest surviving portion of her private writing (any previous notebooks would have been lost in the flames in the rectory fire early in 1709), we begin to glimpse the interplay of her devotional musings and her life. The preponderance of her writing is theological, but it is almost always practical: either stemming from her own experience (as interpreted in the light of Christian revelation and the “reasonableness” of the age) or having profound implications for the way she and her family should order their lives.
Thus the calls for humility (1, 14) and submission to Providence (9), the tension between a life of quiet devotion and service to her large family, and concerns for improving the time and finding an “exact and regular course of life” (11) are scattered throughout these pages. Of particular note is the early reference in entry 11 to the importance of educating her children, a vocation she methodically and successfully pursued and would later reflect on at length at the request of her son John.1
In addition there is even a rare political entry here. Her Nonjuring sympathies were still well enough intact in 1709 for her to question English military aggression toward France (4). The importance to her of “a Conscience void of offense,” already visible in her letters, will appear again and again in the private confessional of her devotional journals.
The 14 entries transcribed here begin the most substantial of Susanna Wesley’s journal notebooks still extant. Designated “Headingley MS A” in the collection of Wesley College, Bristol, it contains meditations from the period 1709–1727 on 192 pages (numbered by a subsequent hand), beginning at one end of the notebook, and 35 pages (unnumbered) beginning at the other.
[1. Humility.]
“Lord, I am not high-minded, etc.” 2 David gives that as an instance of his not being high minded (that he does not exercise himself in things too high for him, nor had he any proud looks—3
[2. The point of parables: the Prodigal Son.]
In all the parables and metaphors our Lord makes use of in the Gospel there seems to be one principal design, and the parts of which they are composed are only to illustrate and plainly set forth that design so that we are chiefly to observe what that is and not to raise any point of faith or doctrine or weight upon the rest of the story. Thus in the parable of the prodigal4 we may observe that the intention of the parable is to show us the exceeding infinite goodness and mercy toward one repenting sinner and the readiness and willingness of God to accept of such.5
[3. Reflections on atonement.]
Pardon of Sin, What?6
All sin deserves eternal punishment or death, and therefore every sinner is under an obligation to suffer death for his sins—sins are said to be pardoned when that obligation to death or punishment is taken off. And they are said to be pardoned by or through or for the sake of Christ, because that death which we should have suffered for sin, he was pleased to suffer in our stead, and thereby he hath discharged the sinner. Did Christ then suffer eternal death? No—but he suffered death here upon the cross for us, and he, being the eternal son of God, his once dying for our sins is more than equivalent for the eternal sufferings of all mankind.7
[…] protect them. And as our principles, so our practice is greatly corrupted, and unless the almighty Goodness should almost miraculously interpose in our favour,8
[4. Conscientious objection to war with France and to public prayers for its success.]
For these reasons I think fasting and prayer was never more necessary than now, and we ought with great humility to bewail the sins9 of guilty England and to cry mightily to God for mercy on this nation which seems so ripe for vengeance. But still I cannot join with the public assemblies for these reasons. First, the end for which this fast is assigned. I am not satisfied in the lawfulness of the war on our part, because ’tis offensive.1 The common reasons which were given for it do by no means satisfy me, such as the checking the power of France, securing our religion, etc. Though it must be owned that the F[rench] K[ing] did extend his dominions beyond the just limits and might be guilty of an exorbitant ambition, yet he did not actually invade us, nor should we upon a supposition of a probable danger have made use of indirect means for our preservation, but ought rather to have resigned the care of our safety to that providence which presides over all the kingdoms of this world and disposes of them to whom he pleases.
As for the security of our religion, I take that to be still a more unjustifiable pretense for war than the other. For whatever some men of a sanguine complexion may persuade themselves, I am of opinion that as our Saviour’s kingdom is not of this world,11 so ’tis never lawful to take up arms merely in defense of religion. ’Tis like the presumption of Uzzah, that audaciously stretched out his hand to support the tottering ark,12 which brings to mind those verses of no ill poet:
In such a cause, ’tis fatal to embark,
Like the bold Jew, that prop’d the falling ark,
With unlicens’d hand, he durst approach;
And though to save, yet it was death to touch.13
And truly the success of our arms hitherto has no way justified our attempt, but though God has not much seemed to favour our enemies, yet neither has he altogether blessed our forces.
But though there is often many reasons given for an action, yet there is commonly but one true reason that determines our practice. And that in this case I take to be the securing those that were the instruments of the revolution from the resentments of their angry master and the preventing his return and settling the succession in a line they resolved.…’14
Whether they did well in driving a prince from his hereditary throne, I leave to their own consciences to determine—though I cannot tell how to think that a king of England can ever be accountable to his subjects for any maladministrations or abuse of power, but, as he derives his power from God, so to him only he must answer for his using it. But still I make a great difference between those who entered into a confederacy with——15 against their prince and those who, knowing nothing of the contrivance, and so consequently not consenting to it, only submitted to the present government, which seems to me to be the law of the English nation and the duty of private Christians and the case of the generality of this people. But whether the praying for a usurper and vindicating his usurpations after he has the throne be not a partaking in his sins is easy to determine.16
Second, since I am not satisfied of the lawfulness of the war, I cannot beg a blessing on our arms till I can have the opinion of one wiser and a more competent judge than myself in this point, viz., whether a private person that had no hand in the beginning of a war, but did always disapprove of it, may, notwithstanding, implore God’s blessing on it and pray for the good success of those arms which were taken up, I think, unlawfully?
In the mean time I think it my duty, since I cannot join in public worship, to spend that time others take in that in humbling my soul before God for my own and the nation’s sins and in beseeching him to spare this guilty land, wherein are many thousands that are, notwithstanding, comparatively innocent, and not to slay the righteous with the wicked, but to put a stop to the effusion of Christian blood, and in his own good time to restore us to the blessing of public peace.
Since then I do not absent from church out of any contempt of authority or out of any vain presumption of my own goodness, as though I needed no solemn humiliation, and since I endeavour according to my poor ability to humble myself before God and do earnestly desire that he may give this war such an issue as may most effectually conduce to his glory, I hope it will not be charged upon me as a sin, but that it will please almighty God by some way or other to satisfy my scruples and to accept of my honest intentions and to pardon my manifold infirmities.
[5. Vows and prayers as means of grace against temptation.]
Even[ing] M. [editation?]
How evidently does the Holy Spirit concur with the means of grace; and how certainly does he assist and strengthen the soul, if it be but sincere and hearty in its endeavours to avoid any evil or perform any good! If once the mind be but brought to an inclination toward any virtue, it hath gained a considerable point; nay, ’tis one step to goodness to have but a good desire; a fervent aspiration towards God shall not pass unregarded. I have found by experience that ’tis of great use to accustom oneself to solemn vows against any particular sin, but then I would have them never made for longer time than from morning till night and from night till morning, that so the impressions they make on the mind may be always fresh and lively; this many years tried with good success in the case of——. 17 Glory be to thee, O Lord.
One step made towards virtue, in that I find that whenever there is any fervent prayer against any particular imminent, dangerous temptation, the remembrance of that prayer is a check upon the mind, nor dares it indulge a thought, a wish or an inclination so prayed against, which is a great and strong proof of an invisible power that does advert to our actions and hear our prayers and that is ever ready to assist and help such as sincerely, though weakly, devote themselves to him.
Glory be to the sacred and ever blessed God! Father, Son, and Holy Ghost!
[6. Finding a means of grace in the ordinary course of life.]
Even[ing] M[editation]
What shall I call it, providence or chance, that first directed my eye to the first verse of the thirteenth chapter of Zechary’18 when for several nights the bible always opened in that place when I took it to read in the evening? Whatever it was, I have found a good effect of it, for by that means I have for so long a time had an opportunity of praising the eternal infinite love of God for sending his Son into the world to die for sinners, nor can I see that verse without “Glory be to thee, O Lord.” 19
From which I cannot but observe that, if the temper and disposition of the mind be good, there is very few things that occur in the ordinary course of life, however trivial or inconsiderable they may seem in their own nature, but what may prove a mean[s] of conveying grace into the soul, and ’tis only want of advertence and a due care to implore the divine blessing and direction in all our ways that makes us so little the better for those little accidents we meet with in our daily converse in the world.20
[7. Christ’s passion can save as many worlds as God’s omnipotence can create.]
As the infinite power of almighty God was not exhausted in the creation of the universe, nor could possibly be so, though he should create more, but though he should still continue to create ad infinitum,21 his essential goodness is the same. So neither is the merits of our Saviour’s passion exhausted by those that are actually redeemed. But were there as many worlds to save as omnipotence could create, his one sacrifice of himself would be sufficient to save them all.
[8. God’s governance of, and our disengagement from, the world; a “conscience void of offence.”]
Even[ing] M[editation]
Considering the present state of mankind, the corruption of their natures, variety of dispositions and circumstances, their different and often contrary designs and interests, which almost all pursue with as much passion and eagerness as if they were to live here forever; considering, I say, these things, there is no such relief and satisfaction to the mind as a firm belief of God’s governing the world, nor does anything afford such practical arguments for patience and resignation to divine providence as the often reflecting that the tumultuous and irregular actions of sinful men are nevertheless under the direction of that wise, good and omnipotent Being that hath promised to make all things work together for good to those that love him.22
And since we must expect to meet with many difficulties, much opposition, many disappointments and daily trials of faith and patience in our passage through this world, ’tis our highest wisdom to disengage our affections, as much as we lawfully may, from all these transitory temporal enjoyments and to fix ’em on those more solid, more rational and spiritual pleasures we are to enjoy when we enter upon our state of immortality. To endeavour to secure our eternal happiness by using our utmost endeavours to gain a treasure that lies beyond the reach of all the storms and tempests of this world, a kingdom that cannot be shaken by faction, cannot be disturbed by ill men or ill angels, where there are no parties or separate interests to engage or divide men’s affections, but all shall most perfectly agree to make up a divine harmony praise and adoration.23
In the mean time ’tis best to resolve to keep a “conscience void of offense towards God and man.” 24 Does many nowadays seek to advance their worldly interest, endeavour to raise their families by fraud, oppression, by making shipwreck of faith and a good conscience?25 Let it then be my great care to have a special regard to justice and charity, to preserve the principles of faith inviolate, and in all cases to perform present duties with the greatest exactness and integrity. And then whatever crosses or troubles are met withal, all will be well within, and the consciousness of one’s own innocence will be an admirable preservative against all exterior calamities. Nor shall it be in the power of any to rob me of that peace which results from a firm faith in God through the merits of our blessed Saviour, to whom with the Father and the sacred Spirit all glory!
[9. Focus away from worldy disappointments, “the incommodities of a little house and a great family,” and toward eternity]
E[vening] M[editation]
’Twas well resolved not to be much concerned at what is met with in this world, however contrary to our present inclination. Whatever were the accidents that disappointed——in the pursuit of R——,26 the event was ordered by that unerring Wisdom that disposes all things and fixes the bounds, determines the place of our habitation.27
Now all things are sufficiently uneasy, and the incommodities of a little house and great family are great impediments to——28 when the body is weak and the mind not strong, but all things must be endured with patience, seeing the end of all troubles is at hand, for life wears apace, and in a few years (perhaps days) we shall pass into another state very different from this, wherein we shall always enjoy that tranquility that is in vain sought for in any temporal enjoyment. Nor shall we sin or sorrow more. Courage then—think on eternity.
[10. Integrity establishes a better reputation than vanity]
E[vening] M[editation]
’Tis a weakness very incident to persons that live a retired life, when they accidentally come abroad into the world, to be talking of themselves, of their own affairs or employments, of their families or business, their relations, their acquaintance[s], servants, etc. This vanity generally proceeds from a desire of being taken notice of, or else from a partial fond opinion men are apt to conceive of themselves, which makes them think all things that relate to them or any way concern them must needs be very considerable and well worthy the notice or imitation of the rest of the world.
Now what needs all this ado? To what purpose should we desire to be observed or esteemed of by those whose good or ill opinion is of so little consequence, since it possibly may no way conduce to our eternal happiness, nor will it add any weight to our future glory?
I have often observed that a simple, plain, unaffected honesty that has had little or no advantages from great sense or human prudence has established a better reputation than the most refined arts and best laid designs of worldly wisdom hath ever been able to reach without integrity. Nay, often times it happens that, though a man hath some weak degrees of virtue and is, as we used to say, honest in the main, yet if he has too great a desire to be known and esteemed by men, he hath for that very reason never been able to acquire any considerable reputation in the world. Perhaps because his too eager desire to please may put him upon mean and unworthy compliances,29 may make him neglect his guard and often speak or act inconsistently, or may possibly render him an easy prey to crafty and designing men, and by that means engage him in factions or interests that in the end may ruin the fame he designed to build by such practices.
After all, “he that walketh uprightly, walketh most securely.” 30 He may in some rare and exempt cases, ’tis true, incur the displeasure of men, but he is always assured of the favour and protection of God, which can, if he see it best for him, even in this world make his righteousness shine as the sun and his just dealing appear clear as the noon day.31 However it be, this world is but for a short time, and those that have their treasure and heart in heaven need not, nor will they be very solicitous about, these temporal concerns. Honours, riches, sensual pleasures appears to such a person truly as they are, vain, unsatisfactory, perishing trifles, not worth much care to get or keep, nor will they barter heaven and eternal happiness for things which, in themselves considered, have no real value, nay, that are rather a clog and burden than anything else to a soul truly devoted to God and that had rather enjoy the blessed opportunities of frequent retirement from the world than have all those things in possession which foolish mistaken men account the chief ingredients of happiness.
Indeed, ’tis a thing much to be admired32 that men which know they were born to die, that know and are morally assured that this life is only a prelude to eternity and that this short uncertain space of time is all that is allowed for the working out their salvation, that still notwithstanding they should with so much eagerness and concern pursue wealth and honour, fame etc., which, if attained, could neither satisfy in the enjoyment nor be kept one moment after death, while in the mean time they take no thought of what shall be their state in their future existence.33
[11. Contemplation in the context of “a numerous family and a narrow fortune.” Redeeming the time through education of children.]
N. M-R.34
’Tis perhaps one of the most difficult things in the world to preserve a devout and serious temper of mind in the midst of much worldly business, and therefore I would advise that no person voluntarily involve themselves in or take upon them the management of more business than they can throw into such a method as may not distract their thoughts or take up too much their time which was given us to work out our salvation. But where a numerous family and a narrow fortune oblige to it, it is not to be declined, lest we break the order of providence, and therefore in such a case we must do as a wise workman that takes a piece of work by the great upon hard terms; we must work so much harder, we must be careful to redeem time from sleep, eating, dressing, unnecessary visits, and trifling conversation, that we be not forced to contract our private devotions into such a little space as may deprive us of the benefit and comforts of them.
Were I permitted to choose a state of life or positively to ask of God anything in this world, I would humbly choose and beg that I might be placed in such a station wherein I might have daily bread with moderate care without so much hurry and distraction; and that I might have more leisure to retire from the world without injuring my——35 or children. Nor should any consideration of interest, of riches, honour, pleasure prevail upon me to encumber myself with such a multiplicity of business as I now submit to only in obedience to the order of divine providence.
This is my present thoughts, but yet I do not know whether such a state of life would really be best for me. Nor am I assured that, if I had more leisure, I should be more zealously devoted to God and serve him better than now. Perhaps there might be as many temptations in a quiet and private life as there is in this, or suppose there should not, yet how can I tell but that a constant state of suffering may be necessary to purify the mind and to keep a check upon it, lest it run into vanity, worldly regards, etc., which ought carefully to be avoided, and possibly such a proportion of punishment for some sins is necessary in this life, or otherwise we should not escape punishment hereafter.
After all, ’tis undoubtedly best to keep the mind in a habitual submission and resignation to that Being which is infinitely incomprehensibly wise and good, which cannot possibly err, but must certainly know what is best for everyone in the world. He that made us best knoweth how and where to fix the bounds of our habitation,36 what relations, what circumstances, what business, what diversions, what company, what trials are best for every individual person in the world; and he hath given us his word that all things shall work together for good to those that love him,37 which is enough to support and calm the mind in all the adverse or uneasy circumstances of life.
The main thing to be done, then, is to endeavour all we can to be assured that we love God, which assurance can no way be attained but by the evidence of a good life.38 If the mind does habitually press after a conformity to the divine will and doth in all its actions chiefly desire to please and approve itself to God, and this without regarding the world or the favour or displeasure of man any further than his honour and glory is concerned, if it have an habitual tendency and desire of union and enjoyment of him and does in all circumstances, places, and times preserve a habit of submission and entire resignation to the order of his providence, as well when it crosses our worldly interest and prevents our best laid design and contrivances for the advancement of his glory as when it favours them, if it be content to be laid aside,39 as an unprofitable useless thing of no value or esteem and can rejoice in the disposal of his wisdom though in all things it seems to contradict our judgments and cross our inclinations.40 And though order and an exact regular course of life be desired above all things in the world and to have certain set times for retirement and leisure to worship and adore the supreme fountain of being be an unspeakable happiness, yet “obedience is better than sacrifice,”41 and, if the order of his providence doth sometimes plainly interrupt or prevent such retirement, etc., the same love of God that inspires the soul with the desire of such a state will calm and quiet it, though disappointed, and cause it humbly to acquiesce in and submit to whatever he seeth best for us to do or suffer.
Take courage, then, and suffer not thy mind to faint or grow weary. God is no hard master, and, though it seemeth best to his infinite wisdom to determine us to such a station as will necessarily involve us in much business and does daily exercise our faith and patience, yet rest assured that all things shall at last have a happy issue, if the heart be but sincerely devoted to him. Nor shall his Spirit be wanting to guide and support those that principally intend his honour and glory in all their actions.
Though the education of so many children must create abundance of trouble and will perpetually keep the mind employed, as well as the body, yet consider ’tis no small honour to be entrusted with the care of so many souls, and if that trust be but managed with prudence and integrity, the harvest will abundantly recompense the toil of the seed time, and it will be certainly no little accession to the future glory to stand forth at the last day and say, “Lord, here are the children which thou hast given me, of whom I have lost none by my ill example, nor by neglecting to instill into their minds in their early years the principles of thy true religion and virtue.” 42
[12. Using one’s talents. Aristotle’s error corrected by Trinitarian revelation.]
Morn[ing]
That God that made us and fixed each individual creature within such a certain sphere of activity beyond which he knows it cannot act, will never require more of any man than he has power to do. The unprofitable servant was not condemned for having only one talent, but for letting that talent lie useless.43 The case is the same with us. No man shall be finally condemned for the smallness of his understanding or the natural and involuntary weakness of his judgment, but for neglecting to improve and make good use of the powers God has given him.
Aristotle supposes the world to have been eternal, that is, streamed by connatural44 result and emanation from God, as the light from the sun, and that there was no instant of duration assignable of God’s existence in which the world didn’t also actually coexist.45
This error seems grounded on a true notion of the eternal infinite goodness of God, which he truly supposes must eternally be communicating good to something or other, and it was his want of the knowledge of revealed religion that probably led him into it. For had he ever heard of that great article of our Christian faith concerning the Holy Trinity, he had then perceived the almighty Goodness eternally communicating being and all the fullness of the Godhead to the divine Logos, his uncreated Word, between whose existence and that of the Father there is not one moment assignable. As likewise the eternal Spirit, streaming from the Father and Son by connatural result and emanation as light from the sun, though that simile does not46 … of the three divine persons.
[13. Making true use of dissappointmenls: separation from worldly things; pursuit of everlasting happiness.]
March 1st, 1710/11
R—47 Nothing comes to pass but by the appointment of God, and he hath a sovereign right of disposing all persons and things according as his infinite wisdom shall determine. Nor is it for a creature to dispute the will of his creator. In all disappointments whatever, in all the crosses and troubles we meet with in this life, we must therefore submit with cheerfulness, and when our expectation and comforts of this world run lowest, the expectations and comforts relating to another life must in proportion rise higher, and the nearer we must approach towards heaven, or the heart is not right with God. If faith cannot conquer and triumph over riches, honour, and sensual pleasures, ’tis undoubtedly very weak and can never save us. Resolve, therefore, to make the true use of all disappointments and calamities in this life and let them more closely unite the heart to God; let them separate the affections from worldly things and inspire the soul with more vigour in the pursuit of everlasting happiness. For, till this temper of mind be attained, till we can thus improve affliction to our spiritual advantage, the mind can never enjoy any settled peace, much less perfect serenity. Nothing but God can satisfy an immortal soul, nor are any but spiritual treasures proper for its nature, and till we are well apprised of this, till we can have a firm and deep impression of this upon our minds, we can never be happy, for we shall still be pursuing after happiness in the enjoyment of something or other below, where it can never be found. I have often experienced that the less there is of worldly comforts the more there is of God, and the sweeter and stronger are the consolations of God to the mind, when there is not any one creature it can fly to for help or comfort. Till the soul can stay and centre itself in God, till it can confine its desires, hopes and expectations of happiness to him alone and calmly attend to the dispensations of his providence, till it have a firm habitual resignation to his will, it is not truly devoted to God, however specious48 the profession of religion may be to the world. And, as “obedience is better than sacrifice,”49 so all external performances without sacrificing our whole selves to him, without being ready to part with whatever we enjoy, if he think fit to require it, signifies nothing.
There is a great deal of difference between taking off the affections from the world and fixing them on heaven, and ’tis much easier to do the one than the other. ’Tis very natural upon a present disappointment of a pleasing expectation or a bodily indisposition, which takes off the relish of our enjoyments, to reflect on the vanity of the world and of the folly of placing our happiness in and of expecting any solid permanent satisfaction from the present state of things; and we are very ready to say in such cases as Solomon did, “All is vanity and vexation of spirit.” 50
But this is not sufficient for our happiness. What if the unclean spirit of ambition, sensuality, immoderate love of the world be gone out of the man, if love to God, pure desires, holy affections, and a fixing of the heart on heaven do not succeed this separation from the world?51 ’Tis great odds but Satan, when he finds the soul thus empty of grace, will quickly return and bring with him seven other spirits worse than the other, and the last state of that man shall be worse than the first.52
We must love the Lord our God with all the heart, with all the mind, with all the soul, and with all the strength.53 We must love him so as to desire him, desire him so as to be uneasy without him, without his favour, without some resemblance (such as our nature in this imperfect state can bear) of him. We must …54
[14. Mean estate ordered by God; no cause for shame.]
He that is ashamed of a poor or mean estate would certainly be proud of a great one. For the man is not well informed, has not a true sense and therefore does not make a due estimate of things. He wants a strong and clear sense of God upon his mind and does not advert sufficiently to his government of the world. He wants the principles of true humility, which would teach him to think so worthily of God and so meanly of himself, that he would easily perceive that whatever that blessed Being is pleased to order, whatever part he hath assigned him to act upon the stage of the world, be it that of a prince or a beggar, ’tis certainly best, and that he himself can never have less than he deserves, and therefore he is so far from being ashamed of his poverty or want of many things others enjoy, that he stands amazed at the divine goodness for giving him anything, that deserves nothing.
1. See her famous letter to John Wesley on child rearing, 24 July 1732, the first document in part III of this volume.
2. Psalm 131:1; Coverdale’s sixteenth-century translation in BCP; my quotation marks.
3. Paraphrase of Psalm 131:1b—2. There follows a break of a line or two and then a new thought, written, it appears, with a new pen.
4. Luke 15:11–32.
5. An inch or so is torn from the bottom of the page, but her meditation has already ended, and there is an inch of blank space between her last line and the tear.
6. One of S. W’s own subtitles, a rare instance.
7. Two pages torn out at this point, before they were numbered. Scraps of the pages remaining next to the binding indicate that there was writing on them. Consequently, we have missed two sides’ worth of an entry and join the next meditation, already in progress (in fact nearly finished), at the top of the following page. Nevertheless, there seems to be continuity in the discussion.
8. Meditation breaks off in mid-sentence. Two lines are left blank before she continues with a new but related turn of thought. This new paragraph begins material published in the Wesley Banner, 1852, pp. 282–287.
9. Paraphrase from General Confession, Holy Communion, BCP
10. As the note in the Banner indicates, this was probably written in 1709, shortly before Marlborough defeated Marshal Villars at Malplaquet. Though the French were defeated, the battle was a costly one for the British and their German allies. It took place on 11 September.
11. John 18:36.
12. 2 Samuel 6:6–7.
13. I have been unable to determine who this “no ill poet” is. It appears not to be the work of her husband, Samuel (who might deserve such faint praise), nor is it that of the better poets of the age, such as Milton, Dryden, or Pope.
14. Her apparent reference is to the Glorious Revolution of 1688, which effectively deposed James II in favor of his son-in-law (and nephew), William of Orange. William reigned jointly with James’s daughter Mary until her death in 1694 and alone until his death in 1702. James fled to France, where he died in 1701. The Act of Settlement of that same year stipulated that the throne must pass only to a Protestant heir; thus in 1702 Mary’s sister Anne became queen. War with France, punctuated with Marlborough’s victories at Blenheim and at Malplaquet, could at least in part be attributed to an attempt to weaken the power of the Old Pretender, James’s son, who would in fact attempt an invasion not long after Anne died without an heir in 1714.
15. William of Orange is the likely reference. See note 16.
16. Cf Susanna’s quarrel with her husband over King William’s legitimacy, outlined in her letters to Lady Yarborough (7 and 15 March 1701/02) and George Hickes (? April and 31 July 1702). Did she mean to leave a negative out of the last clause: “is [not] easy to determine”? Or is she still continuing in her Nonjuring ways, contrasting a Christian’s duty to obey the new sovereign with the danger of praying for him or her and thus in some sense participating in what seemed to her a travesty against rule by divine right?
17. A strong internal censor and/or the fear that someone might read her journal has kept her from describing the subject of her vow on paper.
18. Zechariah 13:1: “In that day there shall be a fountain opened to the house of David and to the inhabitants of Jerusalem for sin and for uncleanness.”
19. My quotation marks; S. W. uses dashes before and after the phrase.
20. This reflection ends, and several lines are left blank at the bottom of the page. A new thought begins at the top of the facing page, though without a new heading.
21. This clause originally (and more clearly) read: “nay though he should still continue eternally to create ad infinitum.” She has crossed out “nay,” substituting “but,” and has crossed out “eternally.” I have added the emphasis due the Latin phrase.
22. Paraphrase of Romans 8:28.
23. Cf the growing antipathy toward “party” in eighteenth-century English politics and society.
24. Nearly exact quotation of Acts 24:16, a verse she also employed in her letter to Lady Yarborough, 7 March 1701/02, in discussing the same broad issue. Quotation marks added.
25. Loose paraphrase of 1 Timothy 1:19.
26. Again, S. W. does not go so far as to name names and sins, though the following paragraph might indicate that she is thinking along domestic lines. The initial may also be interpreted as a “P” with the dash tailing off so that it resembles a capital “R.” A possible reading: “Whatever the accidents that disappointed Samuel in the pursuit of preferment [i.e., another parish with better economic prospects].…”
27. Echoes here of Acts 17:26.
28. Perhaps she has in mind her difficulty in focusing away from worldly concerns, or perhaps she means her spiritual life in general.
29. Unworthy accommodation or submission.
30. Proverbs 10:9, slightly paraphrased. The original ends, “walketh surely.” Quotation marks added.
31. Apparently a half-remembered combination of Job 11:17 and Matthew 13:43.
32. Viewed with wonder.
33. One and a half pages left blank.
34. This abbreviation, underlined in the MS, is difficult to interpret; perhaps “Noon Meditation-Reading”?
35. (?)Husband.
36. Cf. Acts 17:26.
37. Romans 8:28, paraphrased.
38. Cf. the Puritan preoccupation “to make one’s call and election sure.” See Gordon Wakefield, “The Puritans,” in Cheslyn Jones et al., eds. The Study of Spirituality (New York and Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1986), pp. 437–445.
39. There are hints of John Wesley’s “Covenant Service” here, particularly the phrase of the Covenant Prayer, in which the worshipper in a similar act of submission pledges to be “raised up for thee or laid aside for thee.” See Frank Whaling, ed., John and Charles Wesley … (New York: Paulist Press, 1981), p. 140. Did John hear this phrase at his mother’s knee? Was she drawing on the same Puritan sources, the work of Joseph and Richard Alleine, that he was later to discover and edit for his societies?
40. This sentence is getting the better of Susanna. Though she is still piling on conditional clauses and is not finished yet, I follow her own punctuation and add the period here.
41. 1 Samuel 15:22, paraphrased; my quotation marks.
42. My quotation marks.
43. Matthew 25:14–30.
44. Inherent.
45. A sentence fragment follows but was crossed out: “What this philosopher held concerning the world (though an error), yet.…” This issue was a common point of discussion in the late-seventeenth-century literature seeking to prove theism on a rational basis. Note the extended discussion of this same topic following “Emily’s” fifth response in “A Religious Conference,” chapter 27 in part III of this volume.
46. This phrase (from “though that”) is crossed out, as are the following several unintelligible words, indicated here by ellipses; the final phrase stands without having been crossed out at the top of the next MS page.
47. I have not been able to trace this reference; the “R” probably stands for an author she was reading. The line following it may be read as a dash, a short blank, or possibly as an indication of a quotation.
48. Outwardly respectable.
49. 1 Samuel 15:22, paraphrased; my quotation marks.
50. Ecclesiastes 1:14; my quotation marks.
51. Question mark added here; no punctuation appears in the MS.
52. Cf. Matthew 12:45; Luke 11:26.
53. Mark 12:30, paraphrased.
54. Meditation breaks off; final one-third of MS page is blank.