“Get over there next to your friends,” Gerard told Bobby.
Bobby got up and moved over to the couch. Kate leaned against him for a moment, hoping to reassure him some. She could feel him tremble. It was as if she were trapped in the middle of a nightmare. Something that couldn’t be real. Yet it was . . . wasn’t it? She’d faced Gerard once. Why did she have to go through this again? Where was God? Had He abandoned her?
“I realize that your friends in law enforcement will get here at some point,” Gerard said to Tony. “But it will be too late. I’ll be gone.”
“Why do you think that?” Tony asked. “You’re stuck up here just like the rest of us.”
Gerard’s high-pitched laugh filled the small room. Kate had heard it before, and it chilled her to the bone. He’d laughed when he’d killed Kelly and when he thought he’d killed her. She felt as if she were back in that apartment. In that situation. Experiencing the same horrific moments that she’d been refusing to face. It was like some dark closet had burst open in her mind and everything was coming back. The pain, the rage, the terror. It was just like Tony had said. “. . . deliverance isn’t denial, Kate. And it isn’t delusion. God wants to heal you, but you have to be honest with Him . . . and with yourself.”
She felt as if she was coming apart. Bit by bit. Piece by piece. Again, she heard Tony’s voice. “. . . you’ll go on like this until the day comes when your mind can’t protect you any longer. And when that happens, it will be worse than you can imagine, and I’m afraid you won’t have anywhere else to hide. You might not escape next time.”
Was that what was happening? Would she lose her mind trapped in a small cabin on a mountain?
“Actually, you’re wrong, Deputy DeLuca,” Gerard said. “I have a way off the mountain. There is one, you know. Too bad you don’t know about it.”
“I don’t need to. I’ll be leaving this place alive. You won’t.”
“Big words for someone in your situation. You weren’t supposed to be here, you know. That injection should have finished you. Can’t figure out how you survived.”
He turned his attention to Kate. “Could have drugged you, Kate, but I didn’t want to risk having your senses dulled. I want you to experience every little moment I’m going to have with you.” Gerard got up and walked over to where the three sat. “Stand up,” he told Kate.
She looked at him, trying to comprehend what he was saying, but she couldn’t. Gerard grabbed the front of her T-shirt and pulled her to her feet.
“Take your slimy hands off her,” Tony said, trying to stand up.
Gerard slammed the side of his gun into Tony’s head. Tony grunted and fell back.
“The next time I shoot him in the face,” Gerard told Kate. “Is that what you want?”
“Please . . . please, Tony. Don’t.”
“Don’t worry, Sir Knight,” Gerard said, an evil smile twisting his features. “I’m not going to hurt the damsel . . . yet.” He stared at Kate. “Turn around.”
Kate didn’t want to break her gaze away from Gerard. If she could keep her eyes on him, she felt safer. If she couldn’t see him, it was like knowing the boogeyman was hiding in your room. Unseen monsters were always scarier in your head.
“I said, turn around!”
Kate jumped at the sound of his raised voice. She slowly turned around, praying for God’s protection. She couldn’t hold back the hot tears that streamed down her face. She looked at Tony and saw the anger in his expression. She kept her gaze locked on his. It was the only way she could stay on her feet.
She felt Gerard grab her bound hands. He seemed to be fiddling with the plastic ties. She cringed at his touch.
“Okay,” he said finally. “Now turn around and look at me.”
Kate did as he’d asked. As she looked into his wild eyes, she felt as if her mind would break. Her whole body shook, and she couldn’t control it.
“Kate, it’s going to be all right.” Tony’s voice broke through the fog, and she fought to hold on to it. “Don’t give in to him. Don’t give him the satisfaction.”
Gerard laughed again, and then he got right up in her face. “I saw your wrists. How can you despise me for giving you scars when you’ve given them to yourself? Makes you a hypocrite, doesn’t it?”
Kate didn’t say anything. She couldn’t get the words out. Was Gerard right? He’d tried to destroy her, but she’d tried to destroy herself, as well. The feeling she’d had when she’d cut her wrists was back. She just wanted it to be over. She wanted peace. She wanted to sleep at night without hearing Gerard’s voice, hearing his laughter, hearing Kelly’s screams. Perhaps letting him kill her would finally make the pain stop. Maybe it was an answer to prayer.
“Kate, don’t listen to him.”
Tony’s voice broke through the fog. “You’re stronger than he is. You’re more valuable. He’s just a sick, twisted coward hiding behind a gun. Without a weapon in his hand, he’s useless. Impotent.”
Kate knew instantly that Tony was trying to divert Gerard’s attention from her. Gerard pushed her down on the couch and took a step toward Tony, his gun pointed at Tony’s head. She had to do something.
“But . . . but I chose to live,” she squeaked out. “I changed my mind. The scars I caused are healing. Your scars are bleeding all over you and everything you touch. You can’t control yourself, and I can. I’m getting better. You’re still a loser.”
Her last sentence seemed to draw his attention, and he turned back toward Kate.
“Big talk for someone who has very little time to live. I’m glad you think you’re better than me. Maybe you are . . . for now. But I’m going to walk away from this, and you aren’t. So who’s the loser, Kate? Not me.”
“Actually, you’ve lost already. I changed your plans when I got out of your car. You didn’t count on that, did you?”
Gerard glared at her. “It was a rental car. I had no idea there was a release inside the trunk. But regardless, here we are, huh? In the end it didn’t do you any good.”
“But it proves your plan isn’t working perfectly. That you’re not ensured of success. Maybe there are other things you’ve forgotten. Other things that will go wrong. Just like with Kelly and me. That didn’t go according to plan, either, did it?”
Kate couldn’t believe the words coming out of her mouth. It was as if someone else were talking through her and she was just listening. But somehow, little by little, challenging Gerard was making her feel stronger.
At first Gerard looked furious, but suddenly he smiled. “You’re right, sometimes things don’t go as planned. Like when I went to your little café. You weren’t there, but your cook was.”
Kate felt as if Gerard had just struck her in the face. “What . . . what are you talking about?”
Gerard rocked back on his heels with glee. “Oh, I see your friends haven’t told you. Wow. Great friends. Can’t trust them to tell you the truth.”
“Gerard . . .” Tony said, his voice a warning.
“What’s he talking about, Tony?” Kate said. “Tell me.”
“I’m talking about your cook,” Gerard said. “I went to the restaurant looking for you before I went to your home. Unfortunately, your cook was in the kitchen, singing at the top of her lungs. She’s tone deaf, by the way.”
Gerard got closer to Kate’s face. She could smell his sour breath.
“She didn’t hear me. Not until the last second. Right before I plunged my knife into her chest.”
Kate felt her brief bravado turn to mush. She whirled toward Tony. “Is he telling the truth? Did he kill Bella?”
A tear ran down Tony’s cheek. “I’m so sorry, Kate. I was going to tell you once we were rescued. I . . . I just didn’t want you to have to deal with it until you felt safe again.”
Kate turned back to Gerard. He’d taken Kelly. And now he’d taken Bella. Something rose up inside of her. Something she’d never felt before.
Alan Gerard was done stealing from her. She was going to see him dead if it was the last thing she ever did.