“Have you seen Patch?” Jonathan asked. He and David were standing in front of Mickey’s parents’ building, waiting for somebody to let them in.
“Not since I can remember,” David said. “I keep meaning to call, but I’m too upset to find him.”
“I guess that means you haven’t seen Amanda?”
“Not since I broke up with her,” David said slowly. He still couldn’t believe he’d done it, and he still had no idea who she’d cheated on him with—but that was okay, he knew he couldn’t have dealt with it if he had known.
“Oh, right,” Jonathan said.
“And I started crying again yesterday, during basketball practice. I may have to quit the team out of complete humiliation.”
“Really?”
“It was awful. Now everybody is calling me the Most Sensitive Guy in the World. And if it hadn’t been for that Adam kid, I might’ve taken a swing at my coach.”
“Oh yeah, that kid’s lame,” Jonathan said.
“He’s okay with me,” David said. “Anyway, I don’t know what I’m going to do, because the team is my whole identity besides Amanda. I walk by mirrors now and I can’t see my own reflection.”
“You’re like a Lifetime movie,” Jonathan said. “You know that?”
“I’m depressed.”
“We’ll work on you this weekend. I got some ideas.”
The door opened and they looked at Ricardo Pardo’s head assistant, Caselli. He wore a white jumpsuit and had a shaved head. Tattoos were visible on his neck and wrists. David could never figure out why all of Ricardo Pardo’s assistants were so tough.
Caselli said, “You guys can’t come in. Mickey’s in big trouble.”
“What’d he do?” Jonathan asked, and sighed.
“Apparently he tried to eat a kid at school.”
“Did he break the skin?” Jonathan asked. “He’s done this before and he won’t get expelled if he didn’t break the skin.”
“Can we just see him for five minutes?” David asked. “We need to check in with him about homework.”
“Except you don’t go to his school,” Caselli said. “But whatever. Don’t let his dad see you.”
Jonathan and David crept quietly inside. The house was cavernous, with twenty-foot-high ceilings and enormous doors leading from room to room. Opera, L’Elisir D’Amore, blasted through all the speakers on the first floor. As they passed the studio, they could see Ricardo Pardo and about five helpers making huge art out of mangled car parts.
They found Mickey in his room, lying on the cold concrete floor where his bed should have been.
“Where’s your bed?” Jonathan asked.
“I don’t know,” Mickey said. “What does it matter? Now I’m in trouble and I can’t see Philippa again.”
“You should’ve never gotten off the phone with me.”
“Yeah, Jonathan. That’s what it was.” Mickey sat up and looked at his friends. “Jonathan, I didn’t know you had to wear a blazer to school.”
“We don’t,” Jonathan said. He tugged at the sleeves of his brown tweed blazer.
“Then why are you wearing one now?”
“I felt kind of serious today,” Jonathan said. “Unlike you.”
“You felt serious, so you dressed up like a science teacher,” Mickey said. David and Mickey shook their heads.
“Yeah,” Jonathan said. “And you think you’re a spaceman, so you always wear a jumpsuit.”
“You tried to eat a kid?” David asked. He sat down in a windowsill, next to a pile of schoolbooks and a Macintosh notebook that was unplugged and covered in dust. The roomed smelled faintly of paint.
“I thought he had a BLT in his hand.”
“Did he?” David asked.
“No, it was a copy of The Sun Also Rises. But it looked and smelled like a BLT.”
“If it was the paperback, I can imagine it,” Jonathan said. “So you bit him.”
“Yeah.” Mickey got up off the floor. He went over to his stereo and put on some Slayer. The music was pretty loud and David didn’t feel like it was doing much to make any of them feel better.
“Look, has Arno been in touch with you?”
“No,” Mickey said. “But I heard from some kid in school that he took your cousin down to Florida and had an orgy with her. Man, that girl is impressive. I’m just glad I love my girlfriend because otherwise I’d hit on Kelli and that’d be no good.”
“What’s so no-good about her?” Jonathan asked.
“I can’t believe you’re defending her,” David said suddenly. He looked quickly at Mickey and then Jonathan. “You introduce her to us, and next thing I know, Amanda cheats on me and Mickey falls off a building.”
“That happens every weekend,” Jonathan said.
“Not really it doesn’t. I wouldn’t be surprised if Amanda cheated with Kelli. That girl is bad luck.” David pulled his hood over his head.
“Oh come on, she’s my cousin.”
“Liza thinks she’s a bitch, too,” David said. “Jane told me.”
“You two are assholes,” Jonathan said. He stood up. So did Mickey. Then Mickey thumped Jonathan once on the chest with his cast and Jonathan fell on the floor with a thud.
“Ow! What the hell’d you do that for?”
“We’re trying to talk some sense into you,” Mickey said. “Your cousin is a demon from hell.”
“She’s from St. Louis. And she may not be the classiest girl in the world, but she’s not a demon.” Jonathan stood up and dusted himself off.
“Although,” Jonathan added, “if she were as bad as everyone says, it’d explain why she’s so into Arno.”
“Even Arno is better than she is,” David said. “I mean, I trust him more.”
Jonathan stared at David and said, “I think I’d better go. I’ve got to go home and read the screenplay of Donnie Darko for English.”
“Should I not be trusting Arno?” David asked. He reached behind him, found that he was close enough to the wall, and leaned against it. A queasy feeling had come over him. “You stay here,” David said. “I’m the one who should go.”
David walked out of Mickey’s room and down the long corridor toward the front door. On the way he passed Ricardo Pardo, who was puffing on a cigar the size of a hot dog and singing almost as loudly as the opera was playing.
“Hey!” Ricardo yelled at David. “You’re not supposed to be here.”
“That’s why I’m leaving!” David yelled back and pulled away from Ricardo. He felt a sudden chill. Ricardo Pardo was tough and he couldn’t believe he’d yelled at him.
“Condena’o,” Ricardo said, wiseass, and puffed out his cheeks so his beard stood on end.
The corridor was awfully cold. Ricardo made David wait a very long and uncomfortable minute for Caselli to come and unbolt the front door, run the security code, and let him out onto West Street.