Chapter Fifteen

Alec spirited Madame Noir away to a secluded corner of the sumptuous drawing room so they could talk more “privately.” They had entered in time to see Mr. Drakos escort Lottie outside, and this spot offered the best view of the balcony doors.

“Really, Professor,” the woman cooed as they sat down on a rich velvet couch. “She will be fine. Let her enjoy a little freedom while she is away from home.” She then placed her palm on Alec’s knee. He raised an eyebrow, but she took his silence as encouragement and slid her hand up a little higher, a familiar glint in her eye.

Alec had learned much about Madame Noir over the last several hours, but nothing that confirmed any of Rafe’s claims. She did briefly mention her attachment to the military contractor, but it seemed that neither one was anything close to a practicing monogamist. It seemed highly unlikely that she was here to secure an arms deal on his behalf. Just another one of Signore Cardinelli’s teases. And Alec certainly wasn’t going to bed her over it. If that part was so damned important to Rafe, he could bloody well do it himself. Alec had another idea.

He plucked Madame Noir’s wandering hand from his knee and clasped it between his. Then he leaned toward her and lowered his voice. “You know I’d like nothing more than to spend time with you this evening, but I have my cousin to consider. How long are you in Venice?”

A meaningless question. He already knew her plans.

The great lady pouted. “This is my last night. Then I return to Paris.” She began to stroke his palm with her index finger. Well, she was certainly persistent.

“I see,” Alec said slowly, as if he were considering a rendezvous. “My cousin will return to England shortly. But perhaps once she is gone…” He deliberately left the sentence unfinished. Let her think whatever she wanted.

The pout disappeared and she leaned in even closer. “That is a delicious idea, Professor,” she purred. “Have you been to Paris?”

“Yes. I confess, I did not care for it.”

Her smile deepened. “Then give me the chance to change your mind. I do so love a challenge.”

Movement on the balcony caught Alec’s eye, distracting him for only a moment, but it was more than enough time for Madame Noir to wrap her hand around his neck and press her pillowy mouth to his own. Before he had a chance to react, she pulled his bottom lip between her teeth and gave it a saucy bite. Alec let out a startled grunt and gripped her by the shoulders in order to push her away, but she misinterpreted his reaction and pressed even closer.

It was then, of course, that Lottie returned from the balcony.

And, thanks to Alec’s prime position, she had a perfect view of the two of them. He managed to wrench his mouth away from Madame Noir’s in time to see the expression on Lottie’s face before she darted from the room. Any lingering doubt about her feelings for him vanished in the face of such crushing disappointment.

“Lottie!” Alec stood up so quickly that Madame Noir slipped from her chair and fell right on her bottom. He blew out a frustrated breath and began to help her up, but she batted his hand away.

“Enough. I am not interested in a man who so is preoccupied with his own cousin,” she hissed as she resumed her seat.

“Madame, let me explain—”

With a smooth flick of her wrist, she opened her fan. “I don’t care. Good night, Professor.” Then she turned pointedly away from him. Their conversation, and any hope of securing an alliance, was over.

Alec sighed and headed for the door Lottie had passed through. He crossed the hallway and then entered another room as grand as the last, but after two steps, he stopped in his tracks. Several couples in various stages of undress huddled in every available corner. He glanced back through the doorway of the room he had just exited. Madame Noir appeared to have already recovered from his rejection with Mr. Drakos. Alec turned away before he could see any more.

So the rumors were true, then. Anger gripped him as he stalked down the marble hallway. What had he been thinking, bringing Lottie here? He had to find her. Immediately. He passed by another room as the good signore himself emerged with two giggling courtesans.

“Where are you off to, Professor?”

“I’m leaving,” Alec growled.

The man’s face screwed up in a frown. He shooed the young women away and blocked Alec’s path. “But the festivities are only beginning. And we still have much to discuss. I noticed you seem to be enjoying Madame Noir’s company. I have some information about her that might interest you…”

Alec knew he was supposed to take whatever crumbs this man offered, especially now that he had failed to win over Madame Noir herself, but all that mattered at the moment was finding Lottie.

“I don’t give a damn, Cardinelli. I’m looking for my cousin.”

Signore Cardinelli managed to give him a pitying look. “Come now, Professor. Are we not friends? We both know that only a certain kind of lady travels alone with an unmarried man.” He even gave him a wink. “It isn’t very gentlemanly of you not to share her.”

Before he could think twice, Alec had grabbed Cardinelli by the lapels and hauled him against the wall. “If you so much as touch a hair on her head, I will kill you myself.” He then unceremoniously dropped the signore, who stumbled inelegantly against the wall, and continued down the hallway.

“You will regret that, Professor!” Cardinelli called after him, his tone full of rage. “I won’t stand for such treatment in my own home!”

As Alec hurried through the stately home, various sounds of a decidedly amorous bent wafted through the air, but there was no sign of Lottie. Alec grew increasingly more irritated, until he turned a corner and saw a figure peering into a partially opened doorway.

“Lottie!” he hissed.

She straightened and turned toward him, looking very much like a mischievous child caught in the act. God only knew what she had been watching. Alec strode over and grabbed her arm. He then tugged her down the hall, not even stopping to see what had arrested her attention so.

“Oh, is there somewhere else we’re needed? Admittedly, those two seemed to have things well in hand.”

Was she really making puns now?

“We are leaving,” Alec said through gritted teeth. “Obviously.”

They rounded another corner. Down another hallway and they would reach the back entrance.

“I hope you aren’t leaving early on my account. That hardly seems necessary.”

Alec gave her a black look. “I assure you, it isn’t.”

“I had no idea you were such a degenerate,” she continued lightly. “Most surprising. And to think of all the fuss you made over sharing a bed.”

“Shut up, Lottie.” Alec stopped and pulled her toward him until they were mere inches apart. “This is work. I told you I—” he broke off. Lottie shot him a confused look and he brought a finger to his lips.

Just then he heard a voice demand, “Over here! Quickly!”

The sound of footsteps echoed down the hallway they had just come from. Without another word he pulled Lottie deep into a shadowed alcove and shielded her with his body. If anyone walked past, his black-clad figure would hide them far better than her iridescent gown. Her skirts swirled around his legs, but otherwise they did not touch. Alec pressed his forearms on either side of her, and the marble wall was blessedly cool against his warm palms. He closed his eyes so he could focus on the footsteps, but he couldn’t ignore Lottie’s quick breaths. She was so close they tickled his neck.

The footsteps grew louder. At least two people, possibly three. Alec could identify the strident gait of Signore Cardinelli, who was joined by someone much larger, likely one of his powerful guards. His entire body tensed. They stopped perilously close to the alcove, and Alec instinctively moved closer to Lottie. She inhaled sharply as the lapels of his dinner jacket brushed against her décolletage, but he canted his head toward the hallway.

Cardinelli was talking to another man. Their voices were pitched low, but Alec heard enough: “I want them found immediately. And bring the professor directly to me. He and I have unfinished business. Use the girl as you wish.”

Alec swallowed hard. Thank God Lottie barely spoke Italian.

They exchanged a few more words, then Signore Cardinelli retreated back down the hallway while the guard stalked off in the other direction.

Alec let out a sigh and pressed his forehead to the wall just above her shoulder. A strand of her hair brushed his ear, and he nearly succumbed to the urge to lean his cheek against her mass of curls. At some point Lottie had taken hold of his shirtfront with trembling fingers. All her earlier bravado was gone now.

“It’s all right.” He placed his hands over hers and eased her iron grip.

“I heard the word ‘professore,’” she said, her voice uncommonly strained. “Are they looking for you?”

Now that danger wasn’t quite so imminent, Alec was very aware of how close they were, and how Lottie’s curves brushed his frame. He couldn’t stop himself from sneaking a glance down at her décolletage, which strained and swelled against the fabric of her dress with each rapid inhalation.

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry.”

Something flickered in her eyes. Then her concerned frown deepened to a glare as she pulled her hands out of his. “I don’t know why you were following me anyway. You seemed pleasantly occupied when I left,” she added under her breath.

Alec’s jaw tightened. Now was hardly the time to discuss his kiss with the madame. He turned around and moved toward the hallway. No one was about. He beckoned to Lottie and she grudgingly pushed away from the wall. “There is a boat waiting for us,” he explained in a low murmur.

“You expected we would have to sneak out like a pair of thieves?”

“I try to prepare for every possibility. Stay close to me.” Alec held out his hand. Lottie stared at it with a sour look. “Please,” he prompted. She let out a sigh and took it. Alec gripped her hand and gave her a reassuring squeeze. It was the best he could do for now. As they stepped lightly down the hallway, Alec listened for the slightest sound of footsteps. He was prepared to do whatever it took to keep her safe, but he loathed the idea of committing an act of violence in front of her.

It does not matter. Let her see you for the animal you are.

Lottie tugged his hand. “You’re hurting me,” she whispered.

Alec immediately gentled his grip and gave her an apologetic smile that she did not return. At the end of the hallway was a heavy door that opened onto the back. From there it would be a short walk to their meeting point. Alec tested the knob and cursed. Then he knelt down and pulled out his lock picks. It took only a few moments before the ancient mechanism released and the door slowly opened. Then he glanced back. Lottie was looking at him with something close to awe but quickly schooled her expression.

He smiled again as he stood. “I wouldn’t be much of a spy if I couldn’t pick a lock.”

“No,” she said dryly. “I suppose not.”

He held out his hand again, and she readily took it this time. They crept outside and Alec guided them along the palazzo’s back wall, taking care to stay in the shadows until they reached a little slope that gave way to a dock.

“Our boat will meet us there,” he murmured. Lottie followed his gaze and nodded. He did not add that they would be dangerously exposed until then. If they were spotted, they would have only a few precious minutes to escape. Alec looked around one last time, but there was no one else about. He took a deep breath and hurried them toward the dock. He did not dare look back until they reached the end.

“Where is it?” Lottie asked tightly. “Where is the boat?”

“See there?” he gestured to a light out on the lagoon. “That’s for us. The driver has been keeping watch.”

As if on cue, the light began to move toward them. They stood side by side waiting as the nimble little vessel came into view. It would be here in less than a minute. He had kept her safe. Alec closed his eyes as the tension slowly ebbed from him.

Then came the telltale creak of someone stepping onto the dock. It was the same imposing guard from the hallway stalking toward them. He was a head taller than Alec and outweighed him by at least thirty pounds. All of it muscle.

Beside him Lottie whimpered.

“Watch the boat,” Alec told her, his voice deadly calm.

“What are you going to do?”

He shot her a glare. “Charlotte.”

Lottie’s eyes widened and she immediately turned around.

Alec pulled out the switchblade he always kept nestled in his breast pocket and waited until he could see the whites of the brute’s eyes. Then in one swift motion he released the blade, striking the man below his left shoulder. He let out a grunt and fell to his knees just as the boat pulled alongside the dock. The driver was a man called Marco, who also ferried tourists around the city.

“Go,” Alec said, pushing Lottie toward the boat.

But she clung to his arm with surprising strength and dug in her heels. “Not without you.”

Alec glanced back. Despite the knife buried in him, the guard was attempting to stand up. There was no time for this. Alec lifted Lottie off her feet and practically tossed her into Marco’s arms. She wrenched around and looked back at him with a wild desperation that cut him to the quick. “Wait.”

Alec forced himself to ignore her and caught Marco’s eye. “Go at my signal,” he said in Italian. “No matter what.”

Marco gave a single nod as he held fast to Lottie, who was still crying out and trying to wriggle from his grasp. Without another word Alec turned around. Then he pulled out the stiletto knife he kept strapped to his ankle and marched toward the guard. “Leave now and I won’t kill you.”

The brute clutched weakly at the handle protruding from his shoulder. His sleeve had already turned crimson. “If I let you go, I’m good as dead anyway, Professor. The signore doesn’t take kindly to failure,” he panted.

Alec brandished the stiletto. “Your odds are still better with him.”

The guard let out a low chuckle and went back down to both knees, raising his palms in surrender. “Fine,” he said wearily. “Everyone knows I faint at the sight of my own blood anyway.”

Alec stepped closer and thrust the tip of the stiletto against his opponent’s sizable chest. “Then I suggest you make it so,” he said viciously. It would take a determined push to pierce the skin and could leave Alec vulnerable to attack, but he would stop at nothing to keep this man away from that boat.

The man cast a dazed glance past Alec. “Is she worth it?” They both knew the signore would not soon forget this.

“She is worth everything.”

A knowing smile played on the man’s lips and he let out a faint laugh. Then, all it took was a mere glance at his sleeve before he fell heavily on his side.

Alec kept his eyes on the silent figure as he backed toward the boat and climbed in. As he entered the tiny cabin, he felt Lottie’s arms come around him, felt her tears wet his collar, heard her desperate cries of relief, but only one thought echoed in his mind as the craft pulled away from the dock.

She is safe.

  

As the boat sped across the lagoon, Lottie clung to Alec, not caring a whit how desperate she appeared now. She was desperate. Besides, even if she had wanted to move, Alec’s powerful arm held her fast by his side. How close they had come. And how very stupid she had been. Lottie did not know if the man they left on the dock was still alive, but she was certain that Alec would not have hesitated to kill him if needed.

And that he would have sacrificed himself to save her life.

She buried her face against his chest as a shudder came over her. Alec’s hand dropped from her shoulder to her waist and he pulled her closer, but he had yet to utter a word or even look at her. Not since that terrible moment when he pushed her into the boat, and she realized that he’d intended to stay behind. In the instant before he turned away, his face had been like nothing she had ever seen—as pale and hard as a plaster mask—while his eyes gleamed with bone-chilling menace. And single-minded purpose.

Before another shudder could overtake her, Alec let out a little sigh: “That was my favorite switchblade.”

Lottie jerked her head up. “What?”

“I found it in Turkey,” he said evenly, as if their very lives hadn’t been in danger just minutes ago. “It was nearly fifty years old. I’ll never be able to replace it.” He shook his head.

“I—I’m sorry.”

Alec finally looked down at her. His face was half in shadows in the darkened cabin, but there was only heart-stopping tenderness there. Alec skimmed a hand over her hair, barely touched her curls—as if he feared she would shatter. It was nearly impossible to reconcile this man with the one on the dock, but they were both Alec. And Lottie wanted all of him—to know every facet, every mask he wore, every emotion he tried so desperately to hide from the world. And from her.

“It wasn’t your fault. I never should have brought you here. Not to this house. Not to Venice. I knew the danger, and I did it anyway,” he murmured the last words, as if he was speaking to himself, then turned away once again. “She caught me by surprise, you know,” he added. “It meant nothing.”

It took Lottie a moment to realize he was speaking of the Frenchwoman. “I believe you,” she rasped. Her voice had gone hoarse from crying. “You don’t need to explain anything to me.”

Alec faced her then. His eyes now gleamed with something else. “I want to,” he insisted. “Regardless of what your uncle once told you, the things I do are never for pleasure. They serve another purpose entirely.”

“But how can you stand it? Watching you with her, I thought—”

“It isn’t always like that,” Alec interrupted, then he paused. “In my experience it is far easier to be with someone I don’t care for than to be with someone I do.”

Lottie had the feeling they were now treading on quicksand. She hesitated. “How do you know?”

Alec turned away again. A sliver of moonlight touched his cheek, making his olive skin look almost porcelain. “Because. I kissed someone. Only once. And that told me everything I needed to know.”

The admission would have suffused her with joy, if not for the grim certainty in his voice. He thought such feelings were a hindrance.

She kept her words brief, so her voice wouldn’t crack. “I see.”

He glanced at her and raised a dark brow. “Do you?”

Lottie thought of her pathetic conditions, how even the lightest of his touches set off a storm within her. “Yes.” She moved to bury her head against his chest once again, but he gripped her by the shoulders and forced her to meet his gaze.

“Then you see that I cannot put you at risk again. I cannot.” He abruptly released her. “Tonight you saw what I am capable of,” he began again. “And there are things I have done that can never be forgotten. That is why you must go.”

Lottie bit her lip against the anguish in his words. Yes, she indeed saw what Alec was capable of. But nothing would ever be as frightening as those endless seconds after he pushed her onto the boat and stayed behind on the dock. Lottie could face anything now. Because she knew with maddening clarity what it felt like to almost lose him.

“No,” she said gently. “That is why I must stay.”

Alec let out an incredulous laugh. “You’re in shock. You have no idea what you’re saying.”

Lottie gritted her teeth against the irritation that suddenly flared inside her. “I absolutely do—”

“No,” he cut in harshly. “You know absolutely nothing. And that ridiculous plan of yours proves it.” Alec turned fully toward her in challenge. “You think ruination will gain you freedom, but you have not thought of the consequences. And how this will always follow you.”

“I know what to expect,” she insisted.

“How?” he demanded. “You’ve never been an outcast before. You don’t know what it will be like, what people will say about you if—”

She could not keep her own incredulous laugh from bursting out. “Goodness, is that really what you’ve been trying to save me from all this time? Gossip?” she sneered. “In that case I’m afraid you’re much too late. They already do talk about me.”

This caught him by surprise. “What do you mean?”

Lottie exhaled. Was he really so blind? “I am an unmarried woman of large fortune who has rejected nearly a dozen proposals of marriage,” she said slowly. “If I were a man people would toast me, but because I dare to have standards I am met with ridicule. And contempt.”

“But, your friends—”

“My friends?” Lottie bit off. Now it was her turn to rage. “My friends have been the very worst of it. What others may whisper behind my back they have said to my face. To them I am an object of pity. Of derision. All while they readily submit to men who care nothing for them beyond the money or status they bring to the marriage.” Lottie shook her head. “I cannot fault them for seeking out the comfort of a gilded cage, especially when they are afforded few, if any, alternatives. But since I am fortunate enough to have money of my own, I refuse to endure the same fate.”

“I…I had no idea you felt this way.”

“Of course not,” Lottie snapped. “Why would you? Men like you expect ladies to be fulfilled by afternoon calls and embroidery. To freely relinquish our autonomy to our husbands and fathers who claim to know better. But I am not interested in any of that.”

A heated silence passed between them.

“I assume you haven’t kept these thoughts to yourself.” Alec’s face was barely visible in the dark cabin, but she swore he almost sounded amused.

“I tried. At least at first. Until I started attending suffragist meetings last year.” She paused as an unexpected smile came over her. “I’ve never been so inspired than while watching those fiercely intelligent ladies demanding to be treated as the equal of any man. I learned so much from them. Of a life beyond what I had ever dreamed was possible.” She pressed her lips together and swallowed. “I invited my friend Abigail to come with me once, but she told Uncle Alfred instead. He was horrified and put a stop to all of it, claiming the meetings weren’t safe. That some of the women were radicals—which they were—but I wasn’t in any danger. Later he admitted he was worried about how it would affect my reputation, as no man in his right mind would want to marry such an ‘unnatural’ woman.”

In the darkness Alec let out a low curse.

“After that it was back to the same routine of tea dances and afternoon calls. Of trying to entertain men who couldn’t be bothered to hide their desire for my money.” Beside her Alec moved to grip his knee. “But then there was some awful business with Ceril Belvedere last spring.” She shuddered at the memory of his forceful kiss and absently touched her lips. “He did not take my rejection of his proposal well. And yet, I’m called a jilt. A tease.” She couldn’t keep the indignation out of her voice.

“I am sorry for that,” Alec said. “It was badly done on his part, and certainly not your fault. Any fool could see that.”

His words swirled around her heart. No one had ever said anything against Ceril’s behavior, not even her uncle. All his ire had been directed squarely at her for rejecting such a “worthy” suitor. Then Lottie frowned. “You know about Ceril? I thought you hadn’t spoken about me with my uncle.”

“I didn’t learn of it from him, but yes,” he admitted after a breath. “I did know.”

There was something hidden in that pause. Something he was hesitant to reveal. And if she pushed too hard now, she might never learn the truth. Luckily, Lottie had grown quite adept at waiting these last five years.

“But believe me,” he continued, his voice sterner now. “Things can be so much worse for you.”

He was right. The trouble was, Lottie simply didn’t care anymore. Her voice rose with each word, rough and urgent. “I can’t end up in some loveless society marriage pretending that everything is fine when it so obviously isn’t. I won’t do it. There is too much to lose.”

“Then don’t,” he urged. “Wait for someone you truly care about.” His voice turned thin and reedy as he spoke those last words, and he paused to clear his throat. “But don’t give up on the possibility. If you throw your whole future away now, you will regret it.”

“I can’t,” she cried. “Uncle Alfred insisted that I marry a man of his choosing by the end of the season while he still has some control over my inheritance.”

“What?” Alec’s voice rang out in the darkened cabin. “And you didn’t think to mention this?”

“I—I assumed you knew,” Lottie said weakly as guilt flooded through her.

Alec huffed. “I’ve sins aplenty, but forcing women into marriage isn’t among them.” Then he muttered a curse. “I knew you thought poorly of me. Knew you didn’t trust me. But dammit, I didn’t realize…”

Dear Lord. She had hurt him. Lottie didn’t think she had the ability to do so. It now seemed superbly childish not to have told him earlier.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know if he would have gone through with it,” she added. “But I couldn’t take the chance.”

“So you decided to ruin yourself as insurance,” he said flatly. “With that man in Florence.”

Lottie was tempted to correct him, but he was already sore enough. “I hate that term, you know,” she muttered instead. “Why does my entire worth depend upon my sexual experience, or lack thereof, while men can bed as many women as they like and are congratulated for it? How is that fair?”

“Lottie,” Alec murmured gently.

But she wasn’t in the mood to be coddled. “It’s insulting. It’s the height of hypocrisy. You must see that.”

“Of course I do,” he huffed. “And you’re right. It isn’t fair. But I don’t make the rules––”

“You don’t have to enforce them, either,” she countered.

“For God’s sake,” Alec grumbled as he scrubbed a hand over his face. “I’m not trying to enforce them, but I’m not exactly in a position to ignore them, either, am I?”

Lottie turned away. He had a point. And she knew it even better than he realized. But she couldn’t be the one to bring up his parentage.

Outside Venice floated by, a mixture of moonlit stone and glowing torchlight. “All I ever wanted was what my parents had: a partnership built on love.” Her voice cracked. “It seemed such a simple thing when I was a girl. I actually thought I was being prudent. Reasonable. But I might as well have been wishing for a fairy tale.”

“Don’t say that,” he pleaded even while he stubbornly held himself away from her.

“Why?” she demanded, facing him once more. “Why should I live with such illusions? Isn’t it better to accept the reality of the choices before me? As far as I can see, I have two options: submitting to a loveless marriage or remaining a free woman of means at the expense of my reputation. I won’t bother asking what choice you would make if you were in the same position.” Lottie stopped and inhaled slowly, wrestling to maintain some control over her sharp tongue. “I know it won’t be the life I have known, but I welcome the challenge. Even the fear. All of it. And I would destroy my reputation a thousand times over again if it meant feeling the way I have these last few days…”

It would have been so easy to say weeks instead, but she let the words hang there in the darkness between them. Alec slowly leaned toward her until she could feel wisps of warm breath on her neck. Until his heat wrapped around her as tightly as his embrace. Lottie fought back against the urge to press against him. To feel his strength and weight surrounding her once again. But not now. Not yet.

She turned toward him until their faces were mere inches apart. His features were still hidden in the shadows, but she could feel his heavy gaze upon her. “Because it has been my choice,” she continued. “Can you understand that?”

Alec let out a long sigh, but before he could answer, the boat came to a rocking halt and the driver announced their arrival. “Quickly now,” he said, immediately moving toward the exit. As the boatman handed Lottie onto the dock, he gave Lottie a friendly wink. Alec then exchanged a few secretive words with him before joining her. She did not regret speaking so plainly to him, but there was still so much that remained unsaid, and she sensed that Alec would reveal the full truth only if necessary. Only if it was a matter of life or death.