Days had passed since Deirdre’s death. Lili had stayed on without explanation. For the time being she appeared to have cut all ties with her own life, and she made an effort to be as little trouble to Nona as possible. It was as if she knew she must wait because there were still unfinished matters at Redlands, and perhaps she would be needed. For Liliana Dukas, she was unusually quiet.
During those days Christy came to feel closer to her mother than ever before. Closer than she was able to feel with Hayden. The way Deirdre had died seemed to place a block between them and, like Lili, Christy could only wait.
One evening when those who had been closely concerned had gathered at Nona’s, Eve clarified for them some of what had happened as far as Oliver was concerned. He had been caught, trapped, by the other Deirdre, though he didn’t realize the truth for a long while. When Deirdre told him she had pushed Rose to her death in order to free him, he was horrified. But he was still held in the thrall of his own terrible obsession, even though he’d grown afraid of the changeling Deirdre. He began to read about divided personalities, about jealous siblings, and even about obsession. All too late.
“He told me a little that last night before he died,” Eve said. “I think he believed that he might help the two personalities to merge and recover. Then he’d have sent the real Deirdre back to you, Hayden. I cared about Oliver, but I thought his feeling about Deirdre was a lot simpler than it turned out to be. I suppose I was too angry to be of much help. Rose was my friend, and when she died, I know Oliver was devastated. But I didn’t understand all the reasons why.
“When he talked to me that last night, he swore me to secrecy until he could find a way out. Think of the horror if the real Deirdre had been arrested! I’m sure the other one would have gone into hiding and let her sister go mad.”
Hayden made a despairing sound, and Christy watched him unhappily as Eve went on.
“Then Oliver had a heart attack because of the snake, and I guessed what might have happened. But I had no proof. Nothing I dared go to the police with. I thought of talking to Hayden, but that would open a whole new nest of vipers. Again, the real Deirdre would be blamed. So I acted a lie too. I needed to see the change for myself, but Deirdre kept out of my way and, like Oliver, I waited too long.”
A few questions were answered during that sad evening when they listened to Eve, but Lili was the only one who commented.
“It’s still not finished,” she said. “There’s something more to come.”
Donny was the most stricken, the most frightened. Since his mother’s death, he had slept in Hayden’s bed, and one night he sat up suddenly in the early hours, no longer terrified, but smiling.
“I was walking in the woods,” he told his father. “I got up in the night and went outside and I found my mother. I think she was calling me, and she didn’t run away this time. She sat close by on a rock and talked to me. She said everything was fine for her now, and I mustn’t cry for her, because she was happy and had other things she needed to do. So I should be glad for that, and learn how to let her go.”
The next day, relating this to Christy, Hayden said, “At first I thought he’d had a comforting dream, though I didn’t tell him that. Then, in the morning when we got up, I saw grass stains and red earth on his bare feet.”
Christy felt no surprise, no doubt. From her own storytelling experience with children, she knew how close the young were to the mysteries of being born. It was only when the “real,” left-brain world of grown-ups took over that they lost the power to see. Now it would be a little easier for Donny.
Nothing was easy for Hayden. He continued to be torn and unable to find his own peace. Christy knew he was still tied to the unresolved past, still reproaching himself. Though she longed to help him, the way was never clear, and he held everyone off. There was too much guilt in him, and she had no way to get past his self-blame for not recognizing what was happening to Deirdre.
Now and then Christy walked alone in the woods, more apart from the others than when Deirdre had been alive. Often she sensed that something drifted near her, just out of sight among the trees—something utterly lost and sad. Perhaps Hayden could never be entirely free until this unhappy presence was released.
The time came when she knew she needed her mother’s help. One morning she found Lili sitting alone on the steps to Nona’s deck, and she sat down beside her. They were both quiet for a little while, because there could be communion in silence. During these days of waiting, Christy had found a new respect and admiration for her mother. They could be friends now, as they hadn’t been when she was young. Lili’s way was not Christy’s, but by letting old judgments go, she could come lovingly close to her mother. This took nothing away from her affection and gratitude for Nona—and her aunt seemed to understand.
When the quiet between them had lengthened as they sat together on the steps, Christy began to pour out what was troubling her.
“I’ve almost seen her down there in the woods. Not Deirdre—the other one. I don’t think she knows that the body she shared with Deirdre is dead. Is there any way we can help her to find release?”
“Perhaps if we act together,” Lili said, “we can find a way. Hayden must be part of whatever we do. He’s still at home this morning—I saw him outside a little while ago. Perhaps you can ask him to come with us. And there’s something else—do you know where Deirdre’s crystal is—the one with the inner phantom?”
“I know where Donny keeps it. He’s back in school now, but I don’t think he’ll mind if I borrow it.”
“I’ll wait for you,” Lili said.
Christy found the crystal easily, and Hayden came with her without asking questions. It was almost as though he too had been waiting, and expected whatever was about to happen.
Once more they started along the fateful path through the woods, this time to the foot of the rocky cliff. The small clearing had been cleansed by rains since Deirdre had lain there, and purified many times over by the sun. Yet it seemed to Christy, with all her senses alert, that a lingering sadness haunted this spot.
“Do whatever you are prompted to do,” Lili directed her. “Go inside yourself and ask.”
Perhaps if she could do this, Christy thought, it might be possible for Hayden too to leave the past.
She stepped into full sunlight and held up the crystal in the fingers of both hands, so that it pointed toward the sky. Negativity seemed to flow away from the space about her, as though it could not face this radiant light. In her hands the crystal felt warm, but no throbbing energy filled it now. Sunlight washed over its planes, striking rainbow colors, and deep within the stone the “phantom” seemed to move as she watched it.
Words came into her mind as clearly as though she spoke them aloud. I know you are there and I want to help you. You aren’t tied any longer to the body you shared with Deirdre. You are free now. Let your earthly life go.
A questioning word seemed to whisper through Christy’s mind: Atonement!
She spoke her answer silently. There’s no atonement for you here. That lies ahead when you can accept fully what you must accept.
A drifting of mist near the edge of the woods seemed to thicken and come closer to where Christy stood. Hayden and Lili stood back in silence, watching. Christy closed her eyes and a vision came into her mind. She could see broad stairs climbing up and up, until they vanished—perhaps into some other plane than this earthly one. Christy herself seemed to stand at the very foot of the flight, and her own spirit beckoned to the other Deirdre. The prayer that filled her was for release from evil, and a return to all that was good. Sensing, more than seeing, she was aware that the drifting of mist was floating up the stairs.
The way up is open now, she said in her mind, and held the crystal still higher, her eyes fixed upon it. The phantom within the stone shimmered in the light and began to change. In wonder, Christy saw what was happening. Even as she watched, the form that hid inside the stone grew less distinct. Slowly the shadow blurred—and was gone. The vision of a broad staircase was gone as well, and only the crystal shone clear in her fingers—with no lingering shadow within.
“Look!” she cried to Hayden and Lili, and held the crystal toward them. No lost spirit lingered in the woods, and a wonderful sense of peace flowed through her.
Lili’s smile was loving and proud as she embraced her daughter. “It’s time for me to return to my work,” she said, and she moved up through the woods without looking back.
The haunting was over.
Hayden came to stand before Christy, once more marveling. He touched her cheek with the back of his hand, finding its contour and the line of her jaw. Her lips trembled, and he kissed her, stilling the tremor. For a moment he held her quietly, his cheek against her hair.
They started up the hill together, climbing silently until they came out under that great open sky, with its scalloping of mountains at the horizon. The only shadows around them were cast by clouds.
Christy still held the stone that had been symbolic of Deirdre’s life. Both Deirdres were free now, and so was Hayden. He put an arm about her.
The way was open to all the discovery of each other that lay ahead.