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I couldn’t help but feel like I was on the outside looking in, watching desperately from a barred window in a high tower as the captain was reunited with his first love. As he looked at her with shock and admiration, his hands curled into fists at his sides, almost as if he were holding back from reaching out to her. From touching her, to assure himself that this was real.
It shouldn’t have been such a grand shock. After all, we all assumed the princess would come back eventually. I was just fulfilling her role for the briefest of moments. But I’d gotten so caught up in it, that I’d fallen for the façade. I’d fallen for those in her life that were never really meant to be in mine.
Watching Captain Saber take Odele in was a sharp reminder that we never truly belonged together in the first place.
I’d merely been her replacement.
“Explain,” the captain demanded coolly. I could make out the strain in his voice, the difficulty he was having at keeping everything rigidly contained. Maybe all he wanted to do was break down and grasp for her. Hold her. Love her fully, fervently, like he never could with me.
My heart broke, and I took comfort in the fact that Odele did not love him back, but my guilt at the emotion was immediate. His suffering shouldn’t be comforting. I’d known this whole time who he really cared about, and it shouldn’t bother me now, whether Odele returned his feelings or not.
“Ugh, do I have to explain everything?” Odele complained. “Fine, but only one more time, so listen up. Maisie is my long lost cousin. Her real name is Odalaea Malabella Knoll, and she’s the heir to the Thalassarin and Kappurin thrones. Got it?”
After hearing the story so many times, my heart should have been numb to the repetitive news. It wasn’t.
Captain Saber’s eyes widened to impossible fractions. He looked even more surprised at that news than he did at Odele’s presence, honestly.
Why wouldn’t he be surprised?
I was a mess.
“If Maisie is heir to the throne... then that means...”
“Thalassar is hers. She can stop the war and marry Kai and do whatever else she wants,” Odele interrupted the captain’s musings.
My whole body tensed at her words. “Thalassar isn’t mine,” I choked out. “Because I don’t want it.” How many times did I have to tell her? I wasn’t a royal. I didn’t want her life.
Elias’ warm hand touched my lower back, steadying my emotions and me. I drew on his strength.
Odele looked at me with exasperation. “Odalaea,” she began arrogantly. “We have the proof. Your claim to the throne is irrefutable. It’s yours, you just have to take it back.”
I snorted humorlessly. “And how do you propose we do that?”
There was silence afterwards. I looked from face to face. Odele, who I could tell was mulling it over in her mind, trying to come up with a plan. Captain Saber, his gaze never once straying from her. Elias, who was staring at me with lazy concern in his dark gaze, and Kai, who was chewing ferociously at his bottom lip.
“That’s what I thought,” I said with finality. “There is no way to fix this, except for you to take the throne you’re meant to take, Odele.” I pressed my hands into my tail as I leaned forward, conveying with my eyes the decision I’d finally taken. I would not take the throne. She would. It was hers. She was the princess the kingdom knew. I was just a baby stolen from my mother’s arms.
“But it’s rightfully yours, cousin. I won’t steal it from you.”
“It’s not stealing if it was never really mine in the first place,” I pointed out. “Keep it. Because even if I wanted the throne, there’s no way I could keep it. No way I’d be accepted.”
“Actually...” I turned abruptly at Kai’s slow interruption. His brown eyes were shining through with a blue that I recognized as the mischief of his dragon entity. “Perhaps there is a way.”
Odele’s eyes shone at the prospect of a plan. Lazily, she dropped herself onto the bed, looking quite graceful as she did it. She sat up straight, and placed her hands in her lap as she smiled at the prince. “Do tell,” she ordered casually, as casually as if she were ringing for tea.
“The wedding...”
I sucked in a breath. No. Not this again.
“The wedding...” Odele pursed her lips. “What about the wedding?”
“You’ll be eighteen in two weeks,” Kai commented.
“Aww, you remembered my birthday.”
Kai ignored her and continued, “We are to be married the day of. The queen wanted to postpone it because we fell behind schedule when you ‘fell ill’.” He used water quotes mockingly. “I convinced her not to.” He smiled almost triumphantly.
Odele snorted at the expression. “Don’t look too smug, Lizard Prince. If she acquiesced, it’s likely because she has a plan.”
Kai’s smile didn’t die. He just looked at her with eyes that seemed to burn for a challenge. “Which is why we will have to counter with a plan of our own. Maisie is the first-born heir; let her marry me in your stead. Let her sign her given name upon the marriage documents. Let her be crowned, and once it’s done, we expose Circe for the usurper she is.”
Odele opened her mouth, closed it again, searching for a flaw in his plan. “What if she tries to kill Maisie before the coronation?”
Captain Saber tensed. “I will not let that happen,” he hissed venomously.
I startled at the tone.
Odele looked at him curiously. “Well, it’s quite a possibility that she’ll do it. Perhaps that’s why she accepted your proposal, because she doesn’t plan on keeping Maisie alive.”
“Then we protect her,” Kai suggested. “I set my guards on her.”
“I will protect her,” Captain Saber added.
“Very well, then we can play the proof at the wedding, the recording showing Aunty Odessa and King Dorian getting married. We’ll tell all the guests the truth.” She clapped excitedly.
“My father has likely already sent my mer here to celebrate. We will have dragons and Draconians here to help secure her safety when the truth unfolds.”
“The queen will get thrown into the dungeons for the murders, Kai and Maisie will be married, you’ll stop a war and rule Thalassar and Kappur. It’s perfect.” Odele was smiling widely at the plan and then turned to look at me. In fact, they were all staring at me, as if waiting for some sort of reply.
My mind was whirling with their words, trying to take it all in, process the plans they were making.
“But Kai is your betrothed, Odele,” I argued weakly.
Odele waved my words off with the fanning of her hand. “I don’t want him. Besides, you two obviously have a thing for each other. I’m happy to take a stroke aside for your happiness, cousin.”
My eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Why?”
She looked shocked I’d even asked. “Well, these beautiful possibilities, this palace, everything was stolen from you. I’m just trying to give it back.”
My temper rose, flared like the blinding light of sun rays. I pushed myself up from the bed, glaring at her, glaring at all of them. “I don’t want it, Odele. How many times are you going to push this on me?”
Odele’s perfect demeanor crumbled into annoyance. “As many times as necessary. Until you accept who you are and what belongs to you.”
My nails curled painfully into my palms until I felt a cold sting. “You are taking my life in your own hands. All of you. Floating around deciding what my future should be, what I should do, and who I should marry.” I saw Kai flinch at those words. “You all get to decide these things because you’re so used to everyone bowing to your every whim and wish without asking if it’s what they truly want. That alone is why I cannot accept this role of a royal. Because that is not me, so no,” I snarled. “I don’t want it, Odele. I don’t want your throne, or your crown, or you betrothed.” My heart shattered as I admitted those words, but I pushed through, glad when my vision blurred with tears so I might not see the expression on their faces. “I don’t want any of this.”
Before I could give them the opportunity to speak, I bolted, swiping at my eyes as I swam past them and out of the bedroom, into the halls.
Taking nothing but my broken heart and loneliness with me.