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The pain of it all was almost crippling. But even if it hurt, even if I felt something inside me crumble, I kept my head high, determination the only thing willing me to continue. I didn’t want to believe that Maisie had gone, that she’d just leave without a word. But she wasn’t in the room and she wasn’t in the cove.
My mind kept flashing back to the day before, searching for any signs I might have missed, anything that would have told me to expect this, but for the life of me, I couldn’t seem to find that hint of her plot of betrayal.
Was everyone I loved destined to leave me? Every time I tried to open up, would they swim away? First Odele had left, and even if I hadn’t truly loved her at all, the pain of her departure was very much real. And now Maisie was gone, and everything was worse.
Maisie was eternal.
Or so I’d thought.
The truth was, I didn’t know what to think anymore, didn’t know what I should feel besides catastrophic heartbreak that threatened to end me entirely. It was all I could to keep from falling apart, focusing on my duties. On getting rid of the queen I served and replacing her with the mer I thought I once loved.
Maybe if enough time went by, Maisie would return. Or maybe, she’d never been destined for this life at all. Maybe the pain of her leaving would ebb into a pang instead of this vicious throb.
And maybe, if I made enough excuses for her departure, eventually I’d believe one of them to be true, instead of thinking that maybe, Maisie never really loved me at all.