Maisie

“Your father has been stalking the halls of the palace like a guppy without his mother.”

I sighed, dropping my head into my hands briefly. I’d been dancing around the subject of my father for days. Even if he’d defended me, had publicly accepted me as a daughter of Kappur, I couldn’t bring myself to face him. A part of me feared that it had all been some type of farce, something said in the heat of the moment; that once he mulled it over and actually figured out who I truly was, he’d regret it.

Accepting he was my father, accepting that I was a princess, was easier than mustering up the confidence that he’d truly and wholly want me in his family.

“You’re still on that self-pity current?” Odele sounded annoyed. When I didn’t reply, she reached over and pinched my arm.

“Ow! What was that for?” I rubbed the sore spot.

“Wake up, Odalaea. He tore apart Thalassar and kept a war going for years just so he could find you. Rejoice, cousin, because at least your father fights for you.”

I turned sharply to her, my expression softening into one of understanding and sadness. What must she be feeling? What must it be like? She was right; my father had fought for me, in methods I didn’t entirely agree with, but he’d fought for me just the same. King Xristo had watched for years as Queen Circe treated his daughter ill. He had left her alone, had let her form her own way without a hint of guidance.

“Don’t look at me with pity in your eyes. I can’t bear it.”

“Sorry,” I apologized. “But you’re right, I need to face him sometime.”

Odele nodded her agreement. “Yes, you do. Perhaps you should go do that now. He’s in his rooms.” A delicate eyebrow rose. “Although, you should probably change into something more appropriate first.”

I gave a pointed look down at my outfit. It was a simple black tunic, one of Elias’. I no longer felt comfortable wearing Odele’s dresses. I hadn’t really been made for them, like they hadn’t been made for me. And what was the point, when every dress was destroyed in the throes of passion anyway? It was a waste. So I wore a black tunic, belted at the waist, where my black blade hung off the side. It was a simple garment, long enough to cover a little ways past my torn fin.

I looked like a mer from Lagoona.

I got up and sighed. “No,” I decided. “If he’s goin’ to meet me, he might as well meet the real me.”

Odele eyed the outfit distastefully, wrinkling her nose at it. “Well, good luck. You’ll need it. He might take one look at that atrocity and tell you never to set fin in his kingdom. Ever.”

I rolled my eyes. “Thanks for that vote of confidence.”

She shrugged. “I’m nothing if not honest, cousin. And I honestly think you look like something scraped from the bottom of a rock.”

I pulled my hair back self-consciously before shaking off the sensation and my cousin’s words. I was going to meet my father, and I would do so looking like what I grew up as: a mer from Lagoona. Not a princess. It wasn’t to make him feel guilty about anything that had happened, about what I’d missed out on. It was so he could see my humble origins. So he could see me for who I truly was, for I hadn’t been raised royalty. I was hopeless, and yet so thoroughly me. And I wanted him to accept me for me, and for nothing else.

“Here I go.” I breathed deeply and turned to venture out and find the King of Kappur.

His rooms weren’t so far away from mine, and Kappurin and Thalassarin soldiers alike were guarding them on the outside. The distrust between them was obvious, though their reactions respectful the moment they saw me was the same. Each soldier present bowed deeply to me and greeted me with equal firm calls of, “Princess!”

I waved them off uncomfortably. It was one thing to pretend to be Odele and accept their respect out of obligation. It was another thing entirely to receive it myself, when I’d done nothing to warrant it.

“I’m here to see the K—” I broke off, shook my head, and continued, “I’m here to see my father.”

The Kappurin soldiers bowed in acquiescence and turned to the door, knocked a few times, and when a voice bade they enter, they opened it and took a stroke aside so I could swim through.

No one followed me as I swam into the king’s rooms, but they did close the door behind me. Awkwardly, I swam inside. It was so obviously a guest room and therefore held no personal touches. Light filtered through the open windows, illuminating the lone figure floating in the center of the room.

My heart jumped to my throat as I breathed him in. He wore a simple tunic of black and red, belted at the waist. His sleeves were rolled up to reveal his forearms, hands resting casually at his sides.

The moment he saw me, he tensed.

All my life, I’d wondered why I looked so different from the mer of Lagoona. I’d always wondered, in some shallow corner of my mind, why the strange, jagged pieces of me never seemed to fit.

Now I knew.

The arch of a throat, the jut of cheekbones, the darkness of my eyes, and as I took in the King of Kappur, I searched for what I’d greatly longed for my entire life, a piece of me within another.

And in him I found it.

In the eyes of King Dorian, I found my home.

“Odalaea—”

“King Dori—”

We clamped our mouths closed when we spoke at the same time. His lids lowered, and he let out a soft chuckle, gesturing at me with his hand. “Please, continue,” he said.

I took him in. His hair was a mixture of brown and blond, as if streaks of sunlight had been captured in the strands. There was the slight graying at his temples, but other than that, he looked rather young, and as handsome as he had been in his youth. It was true. He was beautiful. The lightness of his hair and skin contrasted his darker eyes. I’d never really contemplated the color of my eyes before now, had never truly noticed the beauty of them on myself the way I did with him.

“It’s been a while,” I said lamely. What a line. But I was so nervous, the words I truly wanted to say didn’t come.

“Nineteen years,” he agreed. “I confess, after fighting for so long, a time comes when hope begins to fade.” My heart clenched at the words, but he turned to the desk and picked up a conch in the palm of his hand. “And then I received this.” His fingers traced along the outer edges of it, thumb grazing over the symbol of two black blades crossing.

I knew it well.

I’d recorded it.

“King Dorian, you may not know me, but I know you. I know you’ve spent nineteen years searching for your lost daughter. Like you, I’ve been lost. Without a family, without a mother or a father, because what we so greatly desired was stolen from the both of us. Like you, I just want the truth. I just want to see the wrongs set to rights. And that is why I humbly send this recording to you, to invite you to discover the truth alongside me. For, if I am correct, then I believe it is I you have been searching for. I am your daughter, Princess Odalaea Malabella Knoll. And it would be my honor to finally meet you.”

Odele had been by my side as I’d recorded that conch, holding my trembling hand in her own as I pushed through my fears and gave them voice. When I’d finished, I’d given that recording, as well as an invitation to Odele—well, mine—and Kai’s wedding, to Elias. He’d given them to a trusted messenger to deliver them as quickly as possible.

“I let myself hope again,” he went on. “It was hard to believe that after all these years, I’d finally found you. Or rather, it was you who found me.” He set the conch back aside and took a cautious stroke forward, almost as if he were nervous at how I would take his nearness. “I was starting to think you were dead.”

“Well, I’m alive,” I answered, again, lamely. I swallowed the lump in my throat and dared a stroke forward. “And so are you. I thought I had no family left.”

We stared at each other, understanding pulsating between the two of us.

“You look so much like her...” the king murmured wistfully. “And you’re as brave as her, too.”

“What was she like?” I asked, wanting to grasp onto whatever I could. Another piece of myself I could find in another.

His eyes shone. “She was a thorn in my fin. Frustrating, bold, and brave. She was loud and slightly annoying, but I confess, I am hopelessly in love with her.”

Am. Not was. He still loved her. Even after all this time, he had not let that love go.

“I am glad,” I whispered. “That you had each other.”

Silence followed, a silence in which neither of us really knew what to say. It broke when he took another stroke forward, bringing us closer together again. “Odalaea—”

“Please,” I interrupted. “Call me Maisie. I—I know ‘Odalaea’ is the name you chose for me, but it is not the name I grew up with, and I find I can’t bear the weight of it yet.”

He nodded in understanding. “Of course. Maisie—I just want you to tell me something...” He paused, took a breath. “Were you happy? In Lagoona? You weren’t... mistreated?” His eyes drifted down to my fin. The torn one I had impulsively flashed at the queen.

“I was happy,” I assured him. And then, because I didn’t want to hold back, I told him everything. “My grandmother raised me in a little blue boat, in a cattail forest. I grew up chasin’ piranhas from our pond, and I waitressed at a place called Tides’ Tavern. I used to go to the traveling markets every Finsday to look at the pretty stuff they brought in from the capital. I watched my friends die for tryin’ to flee Selection, and I watched others get hauled away by soldiers. I grew up hatin’ the royals of Thalassar more than I could have ever hated the kingdom of Kappur. My grandmother died when I was a teen, so I spent half of my life carin’ for myself. The only father figure I ever had was Josiah, the owner of Tides’ Tavern, a kind merman who nursed me back to health after a gator attacked me and mauled my fin.

“Months ago, a merman named Captain Tiberius Saber found me and brought me to the palace, where I discovered the truth of my origins. And I was too afraid to accept the truth, but now I have. Even so, I’m still frightened that I—” I gestured at the entirety of my body. “—am not enough. I still wanted to meet you, to see if I could find a piece of myself in you, even if you want nothin’ to do with me. At least I know who I am now, and where I come from.”

I took a breath, not having realized that as I spoke, tears had flowed freely from my eyes. As I bared my heart before a merman I knew had the power to destroy it entirely with something as simple as a rejection. And yet the words couldn’t have been stopped. I’d needed him to hear them. I’d needed him to know.

He closed the space between us until we were almost close enough to touch. “I was raised back and forth between the courts of Kappur and Thalassar. I grew up with Odessa, and though I knew we were destined to wed others, it was too late, for I’d loved her since we were children. So we wed in secret, and we were happy. And when she grew pregnant with you...” His hand reached out tentatively and clasped over my arm. “It was the happiest moment of our lives. We were going to raise you in Kappur and take you riding through the forestation. But then you were taken, and I’ve spent the last nineteen years of my life in despair. The only thing that kept me going for so long was the thought of seeing you for the first time.

“And now I am before you, finally, and you tell me you are afraid that I won’t want you. You think you are less, and you’re afraid to accept the truth of us. I was afraid, too. Afraid that once you met me, I’d not measure up to the father you wish you had. That you’d not want me at all.”

I took a shuddering breath. “It seems,” I began, “our fears were similar.”

“And now that we are finally before one another, I realize my own ridiculousness.” His other hand clasped on my arm. “You are my daughter. Whatever you call yourself, wherever you grew up, you are my daughter. And there will always be a place for you. In my heart, and in my kingdom, for it is yours. If you’ll have us.”

“You are my father,” I answered. “Of course. Of course.” And then he was holding me, and we were crying, sobbing into each other’s shoulders. Gripping each other, because it was the first time we were meeting, though it felt like our love had been woven together in unbreakable threads throughout the years. It pulsated around us, settling on our shoulders, threading together to pull us close until we forgot all our fears and worries and cared about nothing at all.

Nothing but each other.

And the love between us.

Our family.

The queen sent for us moments after. The idea of seeing her after Odele and I had so viciously and publicly accused her of murdering our mothers didn’t settle comfortably in my stomach. I was filled with nerves and dread. What did she want to see us for? There was still the possibility that she could order me dead, heir or not.

Still, I threw my shoulders back with a confidence I didn’t quite feel. The only way I seemed to get through the swim to the royal throne room was because my father was at my side. I was only able to let out a small breath when we made it into the throne room to find Odele there waiting for us, Queen Circe and King Xristo sitting on their thrones.

They waved us in, and we swam forward, not bothering with the formalities of bowing, and the queen wasted no time getting to the point.

“Your identity has been proved true, and now all of Thalassar knows about the missing princess, heir apparent to the throne.”

In my peripheral vision, I saw Odele throw me a smug smile.

“And I know you must be quite eager for a throne and power...”

“Forgive me for interrupting,” I chimed in coolly, “but I never wanted the throne or your power. I just wanted justice.”

Queen Circe’s nails grazed across the arm of the throne. “Justice you both meant to impart upon me. You both treated me like a kinslayer and accused me as such before the entirety of the kingdom.”

“Come on, you have to admit you are sinister enough to be capable of nefarious things,” Odele said.

The queen slashed her with a glare. “Be silent, Odele. You are not allowed to speak after everything you have done.” She turned back to me. “There is the question of the ascension of the throne. It is our tradition to change rulers, and I have made my decision.” Her fingers unfurled. “The laws of Thalassar are clear. A contract was made, and it was not upheld. Therefore, the kingdom does not recognize the marriage between Odessa Malabella and Dorian Knoll as legitimate. As such, you are considered a bastard Princess to Thalassar and cannot be allowed to rule.”

My heart plummeted to my stomach like an anchor.

Odele gasped loudly. “That can’t be true! She’s daughter to the eldest princess! The throne should be hers!”

“It is not and will never be.”

My father took a stroke forward and gave a tight, formal bow before he spoke. “It matters not what the ruling of Thalassar is. My daughter is legitimate in the eyes of Kappur. A bastard princess she may be here, but in the kingdom of Kappur, she is heir to the throne and future ruler of my kingdom.”

Just like that, my heart soared back up in my chest and thumped. I realized I didn’t need kingdoms. I just needed acceptance. I just needed change.

“Of course,” the queen murmured. “Which brings up another matter. Though a bastard, she still has Malabella blood running through her veins. And as heir to Kappur, and family, I propose an immediate cease of war and peace between our two nations.”

“Yes,” I answered. “I accept.”

My father cast me an amused smile. “Of course. We will open our borders to Thalassar once more and trade goods as we did in the past. Once again, our kingdoms will be allies.”

The queen nodded. “And our own contract with Draconi was broken, due to the stunt the both of you pulled.” She gave a pointed look at Odele.

“Please do not hold Draconi or Prince Kai responsible,” I pleaded. “He had no idea he was being deceived.”

“Hmm. Indeed. Because I am feeling generous, and because of our new alliance with Kappur and Kappur’s marriage ties with Draconi, I would hate to start a new feud. Because you are family, I will gift Draconi with everything that had been agreed upon, as per contract, save for Odele’s dowry.”

“That’s very generous of you,” I commented nervously. Was there a catch? There had to be a catch somewhere. I wasn’t sure I could quite trust the queen, even if she hadn’t been behind the assassination of my mother, she still believed the line was tainted...

“I know. And because my generosity extends only so far, I will urge you to leave my kingdom and be on your way as soon as you’re recuperated. I tire of dramatics.”

“Of course, Your Majesty.” My father bowed low, and I followed suit. When I straightened, she was staring angrily at Odele.

“I will now ask you to exit the throne room, as I have words I wish to exchange with my stepdaughter.”

Nervously, I turned to give Odele a look of reassurance. She smiled at me, a twist of her lips that didn’t quite meet her eyes. Before I could say anything, my father was guiding me from the room, leaving Odele behind to face the consequences of her actions.

Silently, I wished her luck.