Marcus looked down at Quinn and offered her a hand. The cuffs of his navy suit were caked with mud, and his eyes were glazed, confused. Her dagger lay half-buried in dirt. She quickly kicked some leaves over its glowing blade and prayed no one would notice.
“You okay?” Marcus asked.
Quinn nodded, unsure what to say.
“Well, I’m glad somebody is.” Marcus rubbed the back of his neck. “My head feels like it’s been hit with a month’s worth of hangovers all at once.”
“Yeah, every part of my body aches.” Reese stared at Quinn.
“Mine, too.” Jenna smoothed back a strand of chestnut hair and frowned. “What the hell happened? A freak earthquake or something?”
Shame and contrition churned like tainted food in Quinn’s stomach. Secrets and lies were all she knew anymore, and she was tired of keeping them. Quinn opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened it again.
You don’t want to bring them into this. Azrael’s voice, one part lightning, two parts thunder, filled her head.
I need them. Why couldn’t she make Azrael understand? She owed all of them her life, owed them the truth. They’re my friends.
Go ahead then. Tell them what you can do. See if they believe you. And even if they do, what then? He folded his arms over his chest, black wings spread wide. They have nothing to offer but fashion advice and snarky comments.
Don’t talk about my friends that way. What do you know of friendship? You aren’t even human, she ridiculed.
That hurt. Azrael placed a hand over his heart, an oddly human mannerism, and Quinn guessed he was mocking her.
Did it? she taunted.
No. I’m not human, remember? Nor, from what I’ve seen, would I want to be.
Quinn didn’t care what Azrael said, she was tired of feeling so alone, so isolated. I’m sick of supernatural beings telling me who I can and can’t trust. You can’t stop me. I’ll talk to whoever I want.
Of course, you will. You are nothing but trouble and stubbornness. The glow beneath Azrael’s skin flared along with his temper.
If I’m so much trouble, then leave me. Concentrating on her intent, she pushed against Azrael’s intrusion, but the fight had left her drained. Get out of my life, and get out of my head!
Do you think I like being bonded to you? That I like hearing your whiny thoughts every second? Azrael gripped the pommels of his swords, his jaw tight, wings flaring behind him. Learn to control your emotions and your powers, and I won’t be able to hear the meaningless drivel that floats through your head.
The tension was so thick she was almost afraid to breath. Quinn thought about the knife buried at her feet. One nick and the Qeres poison would rid her of him.
You can try, Azrael growled
Leave me. She gathered what was left of her tattered strength and gave Azrael one final push. And don’t come back until I call you. That’s a command.
Azrael bowed low, wings spread wide. She felt rage rolling off him in hot waves. As you wish. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. Then he took to the skies, the beat of his wings kicking up a dust cloud in their wake.
“Quinn, you felt it too, right?” Marcus asked, bringing her attention back to her friends.
Jenna’s eyes bored into her, expecting, demanding answers. She trusted Reese and Marcus, but Jenna? They all stayed silent as if sensing Quinn wanted to spill.
Quinn stared at her hands, suddenly unsure again. What if Azrael was right? What if they didn’t believe her? Always torn between the seen and the unseen, she wanted her two worlds to merge. She couldn’t go on like this anymore. Admitting everything that had happened the last few months would be so freeing. If only she could find the right words.
“What do you remember?” Quinn asked, letting them lead the conversation in hopes that it would open a natural segue.
“You said Aaron was here, and then you fell to the ground convulsing in some sort of fit.” Jenna folded her arms across her chest. “You scared us. It wasn’t funny, Quinn.”
Small chunks. Aaron first, demons later. “It wasn’t a joke. I saw him standing right there.” She pointed to the spot beside Marcus. “And then he disappeared.” It wasn’t everything, but at least it was a start. Quinn bit at her bottom lip, waiting for their reaction.
“You really think you saw him?” Jenna asked, a mixture of hope and sarcasm in her voice.
“He’s in trouble. I can feel it,” Quinn insisted.
Reese shook her head. “Do you know how crazy that sounds?”
“Yes. I do.” Quinn’s fists balled at her sides. She still didn’t understand how she could see him or why, only that she had.
“One third of all drowning victims suffer neurological damage. More like he’s a hallucination brought on by your water-logged brain.” Jenna tapped a finger on her forehead.
Reese shot daggers at Jenna.
“What?” Jenna shrugged. “You know you were all thinking it. I’m the only one brave enough to say it. I mean, you saw her! She was convulsing and writhing on the ground for God’s sake. If that’s not brain damage, I don’t know what is.”
“And how do you explain the missing time?” Reese asked. “I don’t remember how I got mud on my dress or leaves in my hair. One minute I was standing next to the headstone, and the next my face was in the dirt. We couldn’t all have had a seizure, could we?”
“I’m telling you, it wasn’t a seizure.” Quinn thought about pulling the dagger from its hidden spot, showing it to them, explaining everything, but something held her tongue. If she couldn’t convince them about Aaron, they would never believe demons lurked in shadows and angels flitted through the heavens.
“Shared delusion, like the girls in Salem. I read all about it while doing research on the witch trials.” Jenna cocked her head, confident in her assessment.
“Now who sounds crazy?” Quinn wound a short strand of blond hair around her finger. “If you’re not going to help me, you can leave.”
“I am helping you. Convince me this isn’t some seizure episode, or some brief mass hysteria brought on by grief, Quinn. I want to believe, but I don’t,” Jenna challenged.
Could Jenna be right? If seeing Aaron were part of some injury from drowning, it would explain why Azrael didn’t sense him. Could all of this, even Azrael, be the result of brain damage? She hated to admit it, but Jenna might have a point.
“What if Quinn’s right?” It was the first thing Marcus had said in minutes. “What if Aaron’s communicating with Quinn?” His eyes twinkled, and he looked over Reese’s shoulder straight at Quinn. “A ghost or maybe a psychic link?”
Hope surged inside Quinn, and she grasped onto Marcus with all her might. A ghost? Maybe, but according to Azrael, ghosts couldn’t exist in this realm. The essence of a human soul resonated on a different note after it disconnected from the body. That soul then traveled to the realm most suited to its true tone. Like music sorted by genre. What people think of as ghosts were really demons disguised to trick and manipulate humans. But if the image of Aaron was a demon, Azrael would have dispatched it with a wave of his sword. What did that leave? A psychic link made sense. If she connected with Azrael, why not Aaron? Maybe angels weren’t the only ones she could communicate with after all.
“Seriously? Psychic links? You’re grasping at straws.” Reese shook her head.
“I know what I saw. Aaron was here.” There must be something she could say to convince the rest of them. “Don’t you remember seeing that story a few years ago about a boy who had fallen into a well?” She chewed her thumbnail. “His mother kept seeing him in the kitchen, in the yard, covered in mud. They found him alive, and he’d been communicating through some sort of dream state. Like an out-of-body experience or something. What if Aaron’s trying to contact me?”
“You’ve watched one too many episodes of ‘Mysteries Unexplained’ or whatever,” Reese huffed and threw her hands in the air. “I can’t even believe we’re having this conversation. You are seriously pissing me off. We’ve come to say goodbye to our friend.” Her chest heaved, and Marcus pulled her into a hug, patting her on the back.
“Stranger things have happened,” Marcus said. “We should at least have an open mind.”
“Not you too.” Reese pushed Marcus away. “I don’t want to hear anymore. We should all move on. He is dead. D E A D.”
Marcus reached for her, but she slapped his hand.
“If you’re going to be angry at someone, be angry at me,” Quinn said.
“Oh, I am.” The hinges of the rusted gate nearly came loose as Reese gave it a shove. Shoulders hunched, she stalked back to the car, slamming the passenger door behind her.
Jenna shoved her hands into the pockets of her navy pea coat and stared at the ground. “I’m sorry, Quinn. I miss him; you have no idea how much. I believe that you believe you saw him today. Your face tells the truth of that. I’m convinced something happened, but I’m not convinced he’s alive. I’m sorry. If there was any chance—”
“There is a chance,” Quinn insisted.
“If there was any chance at all, I wouldn’t hesitate. Look, I know you and I haven’t exactly started out on the best terms, but I’d like to try to be friends. I mean it. We should all lean on each other now. Aaron would want it that way. So if you need anything, call me.” She gave Quinn one last pat, hugged Marcus, and left.
Quinn turned to Marcus. If anyone wanted Aaron back more than she did, it was him. “I know it sounds crazy, but I know what I saw, I just can’t explain it.”
Marcus grabbed her shoulders and pulled her to his chest. His overly muscled arms squeezed her close, and she could feel his heart beating strong and steady. No wonder Reese loved him so much.
“You might not have convinced them, but you’ve convinced me. I believe you.” Marcus looked over his shoulder at Reese frowning at him from the car. “I never paid much attention to it before, but what you said got me thinking. Aaron used to know things he shouldn’t, and he seemed to sense what I was thinking or feeling, even when I didn’t know myself.”
“Like what kinds of things?” The hairs on the back of Quinn’s neck stood on end. She wanted to grab on to Marcus’ theory and cuddle it to her chest like a security blanket.
“Like asking how my grandmother’s chemo was going when I hadn’t told anyone about her illness. Or the time he congratulated me on beating my personal best in the 100-meter fly. I was alone in the pool for training that afternoon. Nobody knew my new time. I didn’t pay much attention to it then, it was just part of who Aaron was. But looking back, there are lots of similar little moments that make me wonder.” Marcus rubbed the black stubble on his chin.
Quinn’s mind reeled with the possibility. She’d experienced the same thing. That night they spent beneath the stars, the thought that he’d been sent there just for her had been almost too strong to ignore.
“And then there’s the unexplained attraction to you.” Marcus raised his hands in a please-don’t-shoot-the-messenger way. “Not that you aren’t a fine female specimen. What’s not to like?” His eyes raked up and down her body, a grin playing across his lips. “I’m not talking about your physical assets. I mean the way he fell for you the moment he saw you. He’s always had a little bit of a hero complex, but with you it was relentless, like he couldn’t let you go, like he knew something bad would happen to you.” Marcus shook his head. “Now I’m the one who sounds crazy.”
“No, it’s not crazy. I’ve felt it too, the way he just knew what I was thinking sometimes.” Was that why the demons had threatened her? Could he have been hiding something from her like she’d been hiding from him? Maybe it wasn’t her power contacting him at all, but his own. The picture started to snap into place, and she became more determined than ever to get answers.
“If only we had proof.” Marcus snapped his fingers. “His journal. Why didn’t I think of it before? He was always writing in this black leather notebook, song lyrics and stuff. Maybe there’s a clue in there, something that might help us. We have to try.”
“Marcus, you’re a genius.”
“I won’t give up if you don’t.” Marcus pulled her into a tight hug. “I’ll go over there tomorrow, ask Josh.”
“Would you? I would go myself, but I don’t think I can face him right now.”
“Of course.” Marcus stroked her hair, and Quinn cried. Her tears wet the collar of his white shirt, releasing the smell of starch and fabric softener.
“You know I cared about him, right? Everything that happened with Jeff, it was a mistake. I was so scared to let Aaron in. I wish I could go back, change it all.”
“I know,” Marcus said. “Oh, don’t think I didn’t want to rip your heart out at first, but your best friend happens to be my girlfriend, and she understands you better than you know.”
Quinn wiped her nose on her sleeve. Of course, she did. “God, I’m such a crappy friend, Marcus.”
“Yeah, sometimes, but nobody’s perfect, and we both love you. Once we get proof, Reese will come around. She’s just trying to protect us both from the grief. But she’s hurting too.” He patted her on the back and kissed her cheek. “Come on now. I think we’ve all had enough of this place.”
“You go. I want to be alone for a few minutes.”
“You sure that’s a good idea?”
Quinn nodded.
“Okay, I’ll call you once I talk to Josh.”
Marcus joined Reese in his white Jeep and waved as they drove away, but Reese refused to look at her. Give her time, that’s what Marcus said, but the rift between them seemed an endless chasm now, and Reese would have to meet her half way.
Once the Jeep was nothing but a white dot in the distance, Quinn bent down and retrieved the Qeres dagger from beneath the fallen leaves and returned it to the sheath inside her boot.
Kneeling on the spot she’d last seen Aaron, she pressed her palm into the ground and whispered, “I won’t give up on you. I promise. I’ll find you. No matter what it takes.”