After hours of meandering down back lanes, through unknown neighborhoods, and across stretches of open fields, Quinn found herself staring up at the red 4 Ever Fit sign. How she ended up in the gym parking lot, she had no idea. Working out usually helped clear her head, but she couldn’t muster the energy to get out of the car. All her thoughts were mush, her brain tired of thinking, of rationalizing, of theorizing.
Marcus believed Aaron might be communicating through thought. A telepathic link or something else, she couldn’t ignore that something strange was going on. Or was Aaron a product of brain damage like Jenna suggested?
Reese certainly didn’t believe it. Reese wanted her to sweep it under the rug and get back to normal. Marcus wanted her to keep searching. Azrael wanted her to save humanity. Everyone had different ideas about what she should and shouldn’t do with her life, but what did Quinn want? She didn’t know. Not anymore. Not with Aaron gone.
Maybe her powers reached out to him somehow. If she could communicate with angels, maybe she could communicate with other essences. If Aaron tried to contact her, she had to at least try to listen. Intent was the key, focus on what you want, that was what Azrael kept harping on about. Clear the mind and picture the outcome. Quinn took a deep breath in through her nose, and then out through her mouth, centering herself.
Focusing on the steady beat of her heart, she tuned out the world around her and sank deep into a state of meditative Zen. The stillness of the car mimicked the stillness in her mind, smoothing out the waves and ripples of thought until a clear nothingness appeared before her. Within the nothingness, she pictured Aaron, letting her barrier relax, she thought of his eyes, his smile, the way he absentmindedly fingered the guitar pick when he was thinking.
“Aaron,” she whispered, calling out to him with her mind, searching the empty void for any sign of him. A voice, a scent, anything that proved he still existed somewhere. Quinn let her essence float there for as long as she could, searching, calling, yearning for his touch, his voice, anything, but the same blank space greeted her.
“Aaron. Please,” she begged. “I need to know you’re okay.” Uncertainty lashed at her hope, ripping holes in her confidence. A million tears poured down her cheeks, soaking her dress. He wasn’t there, he never was. A wail started in the pit of her stomach and gushed from her mouth and with it all the pain and anguish. All the power in the world couldn’t bring him back. She pounded her fists on the steering wheel, and screamed and screamed and screamed until her voice was ragged and there was no emotion left. Day turned to dusk, turned into night, as she stared into nothingness. Hollowness lived where her heart should be.
“Hey, Blondie. You okay?” Caleb banged on the glass, startling her out of her stupor.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Quinn gripped the steering wheel, avoiding eye contact. Maybe if she ignored him, he would give up and leave her alone.
“You don’t look okay. You look like you’ve been in a fight. Did you know you have mud all over the side of your face?”
Quinn looked in the rear-view mirror and rubbed a sleeve on her cheek to get the dirt off. Caleb knocked on the glass again.
“Go away.”
“You’ve been sitting out here all day. Can I at least call someone for you? A friend? If you need a friend, you can talk to me.”
Quinn sucked on her bottom lip. Friends were in short supply these days, and Caleb wasn’t so bad. At least she didn’t have any history with him, which might be a good thing.
“We’re not friends,” Quinn said, but she found herself unlocking the door.
Caleb ran a hand through his still damp hair and settled into the passenger seat. He smelled of soap and shaving cream.
“You haven’t moved since I started my shift this morning. Did something happen?”
Her chest tightened and heaved. Too personal, too quick. The tears were coming again, and he would see her fall apart. For a second, Quinn regretted letting him in. She should have just started the engine, driven off, left him in the dust. How was she supposed to answer that? What would he think of her? And that’s when she realized she could say anything she wanted to him, because she didn’t care what he thought. A laugh bubbled to her lips as tears leaked from her eyes.
“Are you hungry?” Quinn asked.
Caleb nodded, slow and unsure. Quinn started the engine and slammed the car into reverse. Caleb pressed his hand against the ceiling to steady himself against the sharp turn.
“You drive like you fight, Blondie. All anger and no finesse.”
“Did I ask you?”
Caleb shook his head, knuckles white against the dash, and kept his mouth shut until she pulled into a dimly lit parking lot. On the side of the building, the owner had graffitied ‘‘Just Tacos’’ in giant hot pink, orange, and teal letters. Quinn scanned the lot for any cars she recognized, but it looked safe.
“Are we going in, or are you going to make me eat by myself?”
Quinn nodded, and followed Caleb through the double glass door. They settled into a small booth near the back. Piñatas hung over the tables, and the menu was decoupaged to the table along with brightly colored confetti.
“What’s with the cagey twitching and downcast eyes? Afraid to be seen with me or something?”
“Something like that.” Quinn glanced behind her. The last thing she wanted was to run into anyone from school, especially Jeff or Kerstin. It was why she stayed home at night, why she never went to Tony’s anymore. Demons, she could face. Her ex and his pregnant girlfriend were another matter. Sometimes she dreamed of slamming her fist into Jeff’s face for his part in Aaron’s accident, and if she saw him, she wasn’t sure she wouldn’t follow through.
“You know, I missed watching you beat your own hand black and blue this morning. Where you been?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“What can I get you?” The waitress popped her gum and tapped her pen on a pad. The words “Get Taco Or Get Out” blazed across her white T-shirt in bright green letters.
“Just water,” Quinn said.
“Water? Seriously, that’s it?” Caleb asked Quinn.
Quinn nodded. “I’m not that hungry.”
“Brisket and jalapeño tacos. Thanks.”
“Coming right up.” The waitress scribbled on the notepad then tucked her pen in the pocket of her jeans. Quinn couldn’t help noticing Caleb noticing the curve of her hips beneath the tight jeans.
“You can wipe the drool from your chin now.”
“Jealous?”
“Hardly.” The hairs on the back of Quinn’s neck shot up, as if she’d stepped into an electromagnetic field, and she turned.
“What is it?” Caleb asked, but Quinn shushed him and lowered her shield just enough for the invisible to become visible. There, by the door, a lesser demon slid across the wall of the restaurant, a dim stain against the beige paint. A mere scout capable of mischief and not much more, but the girl it was attached to was a bigger problem.
“Crap.” Quinn grabbed Caleb’s arm and pulled him forward, just out of her line of sight. So much for not running into anyone she knew.
“If you wanted to hold my hand, all you had to do was ask.” Caleb grinned.
“I can’t face her. I’m begging you, hide me,” Quinn hissed under her breath, but it was too late. Ami’s squeal at the sight of Quinn hurt her ears.
“Oh, my God, Q.T. Is that you?” Ami, Westland High’s favorite gossip, rushed the booth, pulled her up from her seat, and wrapped her arms around Quinn, strangling the life out of her. “Look who it is, Jordan!” Jordan, Ami’s boyfriend, waved from the counter and continued to place an order, ignoring Ami. “How are you? I can’t believe I ran into you, here of all places. I wanted pizza, but Jordan wanted tacos. What luck!”
More like dumb luck, Quinn thought.
“Where have you been? Wait, hold that thought.” Ami pressed her head against Quinn’s and snapped a picture with her phone. The demon slinked across the room and settled right behind her, smoky lips pressed to her ear. Hunger for gossip dripped from its essence as it fed off Ami’s words. Her fingers flew across the screen—posting it to social media, no doubt.
“Why haven’t you returned any of my calls or texts? Reese said you were lying low, but really, Quinn, I thought we were friends. I heard about Aaron’s memorial this morning. I’m so sorry. We still can’t believe he’s really gone. Reese said it was a beautiful tribute. I’m sure everyone will be glad to put it behind them now. Does that mean you’ll be coming back to school soon? Everyone misses you.”
Quinn balled her fist as the demon bent and whispered in Ami’s ear again. Caleb stepped forward, put his hand on her shoulder, and squeezed. Quinn shrugged him off, but Ami had already noticed. She looked from Quinn to Caleb. “Oh my god, I’m such an idiot. I’m going on and on, running my mouth, and I didn’t even introduce myself. Jordan always says I don’t know when to shut up. I’m Ami.” She held out her hand and Caleb stood to shake it.
“Caleb.”
“Nice to meet you, Caleb.” Ami cocked her head and the demon mimicked her. “Wait, you guys are on a date, aren’t you?”
“No!” Quinn said as Caleb blurted out “Yes” and put his arm around her. Quinn shoved away his arm and took a step sideways. The demon smiled, showing three rows of razor sharp teeth, each dripping with green saliva. Quinn wanted to pull the dagger from her boot and shove it into the middle of its essence, and then into Caleb for his stupidity.
“Well, I for one am glad to see you moving on, Quinn. Cute couple for sure! Way better than Jeff. Speaking of Jeff, he and Kerstin have done nothing but fight since Homecoming. I kind of feel sorry for her, you know, being preggers and all.”
“You really don’t know when to quit, do you?” Quinn asked.
“Excuse me?” Ami pressed her lips together and scowled.
Quinn might not be able to draw her dagger in the middle of the taco shop, but she could banish the demon with a word. Clear on her intent, she placed her hand on Ami’s shoulder and expanded her barrier. Her gift pushed against the demon’s essence, and its name came to her lips as easily as her own.
“Jezeb, it’s time to go,” she whispered, and the gossip demon recoiled in a hiss of smoke, compelled by her command.
Ami blinked and smiled. “What?”
“I said, Caleb and I have to go, but I’ll call you next week. I promise.” Quinn put on her widest fake smile and ushered Ami over to the counter where Jordan waited.
“Oh, but you haven’t even eaten. I was hoping Jordan and I could join you.”
“Can we get that to go?” Caleb waved at the waitress and laid a twenty on the counter, his face pale as if he’d seen a ghost or something. No, he couldn’t have seen it. Could he? Turning to Ami, he held out his phone. “We would love to, but I just got a text from my boss. Someone didn’t show up for the midnight shift, and I have to get going. Rain check?”
“Oh, yes, of course. We understand, don’t we, Jordan?” Jordan nodded and took a brown bag from the waitress. “Well, looks like our order’s ready anyway. I hope to see you at school on Monday. Bye, Caleb.” Ami gave Quinn a big squeeze. “And we will be taking you up on that rain check.”
Quinn pinched Caleb hard on the arm as Ami walked away.
“Ouch. What was that for?”
“Thanks to you, she thinks we’re dating. Lesson one: never, ever tell Ami MacAfee anything she can turn into gossip, ever.”
“Sorry. I panicked.” Caleb ran a hand through his short hair. “You could go out with me, and then it wouldn’t be gossip anymore.”
“I’d rather eat tacos filled with razor blades.”
“Too late, you only ordered water, remember?” Caleb grabbed the bag of tacos and shook them. “Come on, let’s get out of here. This place is giving out bad vibes.” He glanced over his shoulder to the exact spot where the demon had been.
When they got in the car, Caleb wouldn’t stop staring at her.
“What?”
“You saw them too, didn’t you?”
“Saw what?”
Caleb narrowed his eyes. “Don’t play dumb, Quinn. The shadow attached to that girl, when you touched her, a bright light shot from your hands, and it retreated. What are you?” The hair on the back of Quinn’s neck shot up.
Holy crap. Holy crap. Holy crap. Meathead saw them too? Quinn’s brain could not process the concept. No, she had to be cautious.
“Ha. Demons, right.”
Caleb grabbed her wrist. “I never said it was a demon.”
Quinn gulped and yanked her wrist away. “Keep your voice down. Yes, all right. I can see them.”
“I knew it.” Caleb slammed his hand on the dashboard. “I thought maybe you could, the way you stared into the corners at the gym sometimes, right where the demon would form, but I wasn’t sure. But then you did that thing to it in there, and I knew. How long?”
“How long, what?” Quinn asked.
“How long have you been able to see them?” Caleb asked.
“Too long.” Quinn drew a lazy circle around the edge of the steering wheel considering how much she should tell him. “And can you banish them?”
“What? The demons? No. I only see them. Can you? Banish them, I mean?”
Quinn shrugged and stared at her hands. “Kind of.”
Caleb furrowed his brow and stared out the window where Azrael had settled on the hood. “And what about that angel with black hair, two swords at his hips, and the scowl that looks like it could melt pure steel? Is he with you?”
Quinn turned, opened mouthed, and gawked at Caleb.
“You mean you can see him too?”
Caleb shrugged and stared at his hands. “Sometimes.”
“So you knew he could see you?” Quinn didn’t even bother to talk to Azrael in her head. Why should she? There was nothing to hide anymore. “And you didn’t think to tell me that I wasn’t alone in this?”
“There was nothing to tell. The ability resides in all humans, but rarely manifests. As your kind evolved, the knowledge of good and evil that Adam and Eve carried in their blood when they were banished became watered down after hundreds of thousands of years of breeding. The gift was all but lost, deemed unnecessary. But like any recessive gene, it pops up in the odd place.”
“Are you talking to it?” Caleb looked truly shocked.
“What? You mean you can’t hear him?”
Caleb shook his head. “No. I only get glimpses of them sometimes. They don’t talk to me.”
“See, he is not like you, Quinn. His ability is limited, useless.”
“Well, it’s not useless to me. You saw me falling apart, alone, freaking out.” Quinn waved her fist in the air. “And you!” She directed her attention to Caleb. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“I wasn’t sure,” Caleb stammered. “It’s not like I go around telling everyone I see angels. You should get that.” Caleb lowered his voice. “Nobody would believe me anyway. I learned that the hard way.”
Quinn thought about Reese, about her reaction to even the slightest hint that Quinn was different, special. Here was someone who could understand her in a way nobody else could. Maybe she should trust him, let him in. She turned to Azrael because, for once, she actually wanted his advice.
“What do I know? I’m just your Sentinel.” Azrael ruffled his feathers, pulled the golden sword from his hip, and examined the blade. “But you tell him for me, if he puts you in peril, I will remove his essence from his body so fast he won’t even have time to blink.”
Quinn turned the engine on and slammed the car in reverse. Startled, Azrael took to the sky, circling above the car as she drove away.
“Azrael says he will kill you if you betray me.”
“At this rate, you’ll kill me first.” Caleb sank back in his seat, clutching the dash as she cut every sharp corner on the way back to the gym.
Ten minutes later, she brought the car to a stop in front of the 4 Ever Fit sign and turned off the engine.
“So, when was the first time you saw them?” Quinn asked.
“The first time I saw the shadows move, I was fifteen. My older sister brought her boyfriend to the house, a real nasty guy. They got into an argument, and the shadows started to shift and change. The angrier he got, the more demons appeared. I could see them feeding off him. One of the demons mimicked a fist, and the hair on the back of my neck stood on end. I didn’t even stop to think. I leapt off the couch and stepped in front of my sister before he struck. The blow landed on the side of my head.” Caleb rubbed his left temple. “Knocked me out. The next thing I know, the cops are cuffing him and hauling him out of the house.”
“My God, Caleb. Did you tell her about the demons? Did she break up with him?” Caleb rubbed his jaw and stared out the front window. “No. She didn’t want to hear it. She accused me of being crazy, said that it was just a side effect of the concussion, that I was making things up because I hated her. Demons tormented her too, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it. What do you do when someone doesn’t want to hear the truth?”
“I know how you feel.” Quinn rubbed her thigh. “Even my best friend doesn’t believe me. I can’t blame her though. I don’t think I would believe me either.”
“Nope. You wouldn’t.” Caleb took a taco from the bag and handed it to Quinn. “Do you have any idea how amazing it is to be able to talk to someone about all this? To not be afraid of their reaction?”
Quinn smiled. “Welcome to Club Crazy. We meet every second Tuesday.”
“Oh, man. Tuesdays are hard for me. Can we make it Wednesdays?” Caleb smiled, and Quinn tried to hide her grin. It felt good to trust someone, to share a secret.
“You want to know why I sat here all day? Why I had dirt on my face?”
Caleb nodded and started munching on a taco while Quinn recounted the story of what happened at the cemetery.
“I could feel Aaron, as real as you are right now, Caleb.” Quinn wiped the tears away as fast as she could, but for every one that fell, two more leaked out. “Nobody believes that he could be alive, that he needs help. Even with all that I’ve seen, I can’t wrap my head around it.”
Caleb turned to her, his brown eyes warm as coffee. “You’re not alone.” When a finger stroked her cheek, she shivered. “Aaron’s a lucky guy to have someone who cares about him so much.”
“It’s getting late. I should get home before my mom goes ballistic,” Quinn stammered.
“Yeah, I should get going too.” Caleb cracked his knuckles and stared up at a street lamp. “For what it’s worth, if Aaron appeared to you at the memorial, I wouldn’t ignore it. We live in a strange world, Quinn. Seems like anything is possible.” He grabbed her cell phone from the console and began typing. “That’s my cell phone number, if you ever need it.” He opened the car door and paused, leaning on the frame. “See you tomorrow for some kickboxing?”
Quinn smiled and nodded. “Of course. Goodnight, Meathead. And thanks.”
“Night, Blondie.” Caleb closed the car door, waved, and disappeared behind the glass double doors of the gym.