Hi. Well it is me Robby and I am not having a very good night. No I am not. I told Anthony he should sleep on the top bunk tonight because I thought he would rock and keep me awake and I don’t want to go to sleep. But he did not rock. He went to sleep and now I don’t know how to stay awake. I do not want to sleep because I do not want tomorrow to be here.
If I fall asleep and tomorrow gets here do you know what will happen? I do. Mrs. Cortes will come for the tour and brunch and stuff. I like Mrs. Cortes and she is a nice lady but she is not a mother or a father or a grandfather. Well maybe she is to somebody but not to me. Everybody else has a mother or a father or a grandfather or maybe even a grandmother coming. I have a caseworker and that is not the same thing. It is not the same thing at all.
I don’t want to live in the woods like Cody and Dave on Dual Survival. I don’t want to eat plants and bugs and drink my own pee. I want to live in a house with a mom or a dad or maybe even both. That would be awesome. I don’t really want a sister but I will deal with one if that is the only family that will take me and I will be nice to her. I will eat spaghetti if that is what they give me to eat but I don’t like spaghetti.
Mr. Paul says sometimes you have to compromise. At first I did not know what that means but Mr. Paul says that means people have to work together to make things work out right. I will compromise with a family if one will take me even though I don’t like sisters and I don’t like spaghetti and I have Down Syndrome.
I want my Grandpa but he is not here. He will never be here again. That is what Mrs. Jamison at church said. “Robby, he’s gone. He’s not here anymore.” I kind of hated her when she said that but that was bad because you are not supposed to hate people. Grandpa is not here and nobody is here. That makes me so sad but I am not a crybaby. I am not. Even if I have tears I am not a crybaby.
Now somebody is here and I guess they heard me but I am not a crybaby. Then I smell her and she has done her Evening Routine and I know it is Ms. McIntosh because she washed her hair. That is her hair smell. I am glad she is here. I know she will not ask me stupid questions and try to make me have a Breakthrough and I am right and I am so glad she is here.
She sits down on the floor and puts her hand on my back and rubs it like Grandpa used to do. Then she sings me a song. I don’t know what she is saying but it is a pretty song anyway. She rubs my back and sings to me and tells me people love me.
She says, “You’re okay. You’re with me. You’re surrounded by people who love you. We’ll take care of you.” I don’t know who the people are who love me and will take care of me but I believe her and then I know it is okay to go to sleep. That’s a good thing because I am very tired.