Chanel slipped a few pieces of chicken jerky into her sweater pockets. She had texted Ryder to bring Wolf over with his leash once he had placed Gabby on the bus. It was a much cooler morning, so Chanel had dressed in a thick purple tunic, black leggings and boots. She had also placed a steaming carafe of coffee with two mugs on the small glass table, in case Ryder decided to stick around for the lesson.
While she waited, Chanel read a novel she had started the night before and sipped on her coffee. From her vantage point, she could see Ryder bound out of the house, towing Gabby in his arms and running to catch the bus, which she had heard pull up. He was wearing a dress shirt under a sweater vest and a pair of slacks. Wolf, on the other hand, raced over to where she sat reading.
“Hey, boy,” she greeted Wolf, placing her book on the table and ruffling his fur.
He stood panting, his long tongue hanging from his mouth as he sniffed the air. She cackled. The pup must be smelling the jerky in her pockets. “You’ll get plenty of treats if you’re a good boy during our lesson today.”
Ryder had forgotten to put on Wolf’s leash like she’d requested, but Chanel figured she would begin anyway. She stood and guided Wolf to the middle of the porch. Ryder came into view, and she gave him a quick wave.
“I’ll be by soon,” he shouted. “I’ve got a conference call.”
“No worries. I’ve got this.”
Wolf began circling her and jumping and barking. He did that three times before Chanel captured his attention with a piece of jerky. She commanded him to sit and touched his nose. That made Wolf lift his head and sit. Then she gave him a treat.
“Good boy,” she said. She repeated that twice.
Wolf ate the treat, then barked, panting in anticipation of more jerky. In a firm tone, she ordered, “Sit.” Chanel raised her hand—palm facing upward—touched his nose, waited for him to sit and then fed him jerky. She practiced this over and over until all she had to do was lift her hand and Wolf would sit. Each time, she praised him and rewarded him with a treat.
“Good boy,” she said, patting his head. “You’re so smart. You’ll be trained in no time.”
Wolf barked and Chanel cracked up. She leaned over to rub her nose against his, his warm breath fanning her face. “You’re not easy to resist, you know that?”
“Am I interrupting?” came a voice from behind her.
Chanel shrieked and straightened, almost losing her footing. “Ryder, what’s up with you sneaking up on me? You’ve got to give a girl more warning.”
Ryder chuckled, lifting both hands, one of which held the leash. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist. Wolf is obviously lapping up all the attention and loving it.”
She snickered. “Jealous?”
“Maybe,” he teased, waggling his eyebrows.
Wolf barked and then emitted a little howl, as if complaining about Ryder stealing the focus from him. Chanel signaled for him to sit and then fed him the last of her treats. Ryder applauded.
“Impressive. I can’t believe you got him to do that in less than an hour.” He gave her a look of admiration that accelerated Chanel’s heart rate a bit too much.
Chanel pointed to the coffee to cover her reaction. “Help yourself if you haven’t had a cup. Judging by your sprint to the bus stop, I’d say you’d had an eventful morning.”
“Gabby was in rare form. She refused to eat breakfast. She didn’t want to wear her sweater and jeans, insisting she would be warm in her tutu.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what happened to my sunny child of the past four months.”
Ryder looked defeated, and her heart went out to him. Chanel wrapped her arms around herself to keep from giving him a hug. “She’s five and her tooth has been hurting, right? Did you give her any pain medicine? Orajel would be good.”
“No, it’s loose. I didn’t think that would hurt.”
“Are her gums red?” Chanel asked. “If so, that can be really uncomfortable. Or she could be getting some new teeth. You never know.”
His cheeks reddened. “I should have checked.”
“It’s all a part of parenting,” she said in a soothing tone. “So quit feeling guilty. I’m sure by the time she’s in school, she will be back to smiling and laughing.”
“I hope so.” Ryder looked apprehensive.
“You can always email her teacher and ask for an update.”
He brightened. “Thanks. I’ll do that.” He tilted his head. “You’re really good with knowing children’s needs.”
Chanel shrugged. She had learned a lot by being a librarian and running the children’s corner. But of course, Ryder wouldn’t know that. “I’m not an expert. Just guessing. For all we know, I could be way off base.”
“Somehow, I doubt that you are.” His eyes narrowed. “I’ll pick up some Orajel for her gums later. Thank you.”
They shared a smile. She felt a warmth in her heart that had nothing to do with the coffee, which scared her.
“You would make a great mother,” Ryder said, breaking the spell.
Her heart squeezed as her thoughts flashed to Warren and their daughter. Chanel tore her gaze away from his. She had stood on this very porch with Warren, sharing many tender moments, yet all she could visualize right now was Ryder’s wide smile.
That wasn’t good.
That wouldn’t do.
Panicked, she breezed out a quick goodbye and escaped into her house. Though she had prayed for God to heal her past pain, the guilt still remained, wearing her down. She dashed for her cell phone to call Cara and tell her that coming back here had been a mistake. She needed to leave this house, this town, and return to Virginia.
Her call went to voice mail.
With a yelp of frustration, Chanel drew in deep breaths. Lifting both hands and looking upward, she called out, “Why did You bring me here? Why am I back in this town?” Her chest heaved. Since returning, her dreams had intensified. She woke up sweating, having relived the details of that fateful day in her sleep.
Her cell phone pinged with a notification. It was YouTube, sharing another message on past pain and hurt. Not knowing what else to do, Chanel slumped into the chair and pressed play.
After Cara ran off because of his thoughtless comment, Ryder returned home with Wolf to work in his office, feeling slightly deflated. He wanted to text Cara to check on her but decided to give her space.
After calling Dr. Wallen to make an appointment and emailing Gabby’s teacher, Ms. Hyland, Ryder reviewed the results his colleague had sent of the latest research. Even though he was out of the lab and not actively involved in the research, he still wanted to be noted as the lead researcher on the project they’d been working on when he left. It was his idea, his hypothesis, his research method—his everything. His name being first on that article would be a big deal. Especially if it ended up being the breakthrough they hoped it would be.
Finally, he stopped and rubbed his eyes. There was something wrong with the results, but he couldn’t figure out what. And he really wanted to. Needed to. Any contribution he could make toward cancer research would be meaningful to so many, and he was glad to make a difference. Ryder paused. He had his answer. He’d been questioned about his plans for returning since taking leave during the conference call, but he had been unsure. But now he knew he would return after the New Year. This was what he was meant to do.
Eyeing the clock, he saw it was close to Gabby’s arrival time. He dashed outside to warm up his truck and then raced through the front door, bounding through the living room area and walking toward the back of the house to his kitchen.
Wolf howled, so Ryder took a moment to pour food and water into his bowls.
Grabbing his backpack from the back of one of the kitchen stools, he checked to make sure his iPad Mini and Apple Pencil were fully charged so he could take pictures and make notes for his visit to the John Dickinson Home. He also prepped some healthy snacks—carrots, celery and cheese cubes—before deciding to make some beef-pastrami sandwiches. He could eat while he toured. Ryder packed everything into his oversize lunch box and added some bottles of water.
Hearing the screech of the school bus, Ryder jogged to stand by the closed doors. He liked to be there when Gabby got off the bus. She usually jumped the last two steps into his waiting arms. When the doors whooshed open, his heart pounded. The little girl he had sent to school had been crying, and his heart would ache if she came off the bus the same way.
Thirty seconds later, he saw her little face, and she had a wide smile. With a yelp, she yelled his name and lunged into his arms. Ryder swung her around and asked, “How was your day?”
“Good. I’m going to be the caboose next week,” she said.
He scrunched his nose. “The caboose?” he asked. The word caboose made him think of a freight train. A caboose was generally located at the rear so he asked, “Does that mean you’re last in line at school?”
“I don’t know,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. He opened the rear door of his truck to strap her into her car seat.
“Where are we going, Daddy?” she bellowed.
“I’m taking you to the library for the kiddies hour. You’ll be with Ms. Cara until I get back.”
“Yayyyy.” Seeing his daughter’s bright face gave Ryder pause. She must really like Cara, which was a good indication of his neighbor’s sweet nature.
Gabby’s long legs dangled over the car seat. He was probably going to have to get a booster chair. But since she would be leaving in a few months—something he dreaded—he hadn’t made the purchase. He closed the rear door and went around the vehicle to the driver’s side.
When he was backing out of the driveway, his daughter rambled on about her day. “Daddy, guess what?”
“What, sweetie?”
“Rayshawn really wanted that job, but Ms. Hyland said I was going to be caboose.”
“That’s great, sweetie.”
Of course, once they arrived at the library, Gabby made sure to mention it right away to Cara, who was waiting for them in front of the entrance. They stepped to the side to allow other patrons to enter.
“Oh, my. That’s really exciting,” Cara said, smiling. “I think you’ll make a great caboose. I used to love when I got to be the line leader.”
“Me too,” Gabby beamed.
While Cara and Gabby chatted, Ryder furrowed his brows. Cara seemed to know a lot about children for someone who wasn’t a mother. She had spent most of her life as a police officer, then a detective. While she’d mentioned she used to work in a pet store, she hadn’t said anything about working with children. But she did volunteer at the library, and she obviously loved children.
For all he knew, Cara could have worked in a preschool or with the children at school. Ugh. He really needed to let this go. He was thinking too much.
Putting an end to his musings, Ryder addressed his daughter. “How was your tooth today, Gabby?”
“Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you—my tooth came out!” Her voice echoed in the library. “Ms. Hyland said she was going to email you.”
Slapping his forehead, Ryder released a breath. He had forgotten to check his personal email after sending the note to her teacher. “I’ll look at it later.” At that moment, he doubted his parenting skills. He needed to set the notifications on his devices so he wouldn’t miss any communication about Gabby.
“Wow. You lost a tooth,” Cara said with wide eyes. “You know what that means?”
Gabby wiggled and squealed. “What does it mean?”
He saw Cara discreetly tap her ear and asked Gabby to speak at a lower volume. Of course, that wouldn’t last. “It means you’re becoming a big girl.”
“Yep. I didn’t even cry when it came out.” Gabby puffed her chest. “I bit into my sandwich and pop—it flew out onto the table. The other kids jumped up.” She laughed. “I had to go to the nurse with my partner, and Mr. Lin made me wash my mouth. He put my tooth in a baggie for you.”
“You’ve got to show me your tooth later,” Cara said with excitement.
Ryder’s heart warmed. Every day with Gabby showed him something new about parenthood. He enjoyed seeing life through her eyes.
After glancing at his watch, Ryder kissed Gabby on the cheek and told her he would be back soon.
Cara glanced at Ryder. “I can take Gabby home if you want.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that. Let me get her car seat.”
Once he had dropped off the car seat, Ryder rushed over to the plantation. Once there, he marveled at all he saw and took copious notes. Just as he was about to depart, Cara texted. I will be on my way home soon.
Thanks. See you in a few, he texted back, and then left the plantation.
Since Ryder arrived home before they did, he answered Ms. Hyland’s email, checked Gabby’s backpack for her homework and then decided he would read her the I Am Enough picture book Cara had brought over.
The front door slammed, and Gabby bounded inside. Ryder went to close the door and, with a wave, yelled, “Thank you,” to Cara, who was already backing out of his driveway.
Then he settled with Gabby to read the story. He was immediately drawn to the little girl dressed in overalls, a white T-shirt with yellow polka dots and what looked to be Converse sneakers on the very first page. Wolf came to sit by them, his ears cocked like he was listening.
Gabby loved it so much that she began to act out the scenes from the pictures. Ryder cracked up watching her try to fly like a bird, do a handstand and execute a karate kick like the little girl in the story. He loved the message of the child believing in herself and loving others who are different. One of the lines about living a life of love and not fear resonated within him. Was that what he was doing? He wasn’t sure.
Pushing that thought aside, he finished the story. Gabby clapped her hands and asked him to read it again, which he had no problem doing because he had enjoyed it too. Ryder planned to ask Cara for more suggestions.
He read another story about pumpkins and asked Gabby if she wanted to visit the pumpkin patch. The months of October and November were pumpkin-picking time.
“What’s a pumpkin patch?”
“It’s a huge farm where they grow pumpkins.”
“Oh, I want to go get a supersized pumpkin,” she yelled, pumping her fists, her eyes shining and bright. “Can we go tomorrow?”
“I don’t know. I have to check the Fifer Orchards website to see if there are still tickets available tomorrow.” He met her eyes. “Now, I need you to know that they may not be open. So, if they aren’t, we’ll have to go another time.”
“Okaaaay.” She drew out the word, sounding bummed.
He hated to see her downturned face. “If they are open, I’ll reserve our tickets, and we will definitely go tomorrow.”
Since he didn’t have a television, Ryder encouraged Gabby to play with her dollhouse and toy kitchen upstairs in her bedroom. He had assembled them during her second month with him, and she spent hours playing house. Ryder had been invited to many of her tea parties.
Taking the stairs two at a time, he walked down the short hallway to the master suite to retrieve the MacBook Pro he’d left on his bed. Pulling up the Fifer Orchard’s website, he was glad to see they were open until the end of November. Ryder chose an early time for the next day and purchased tickets to the pumpkin patch. Seeing there was also a corn maze and a fun park option, he bought combo tickets to those activities as well.
“I got us tickets to the pumpkin patch,” he yelled to Gabby.
She ran into his room and gave him a wet kiss on the cheek. “Yay!”
Ryder truly enjoyed being able to help her experience many firsts. His heart squeezed as he thought about other potential firsts—her first bike ride without training wheels, her first date, her first prom—that he would miss once she was gone. But he couldn’t dwell on that. Instead, he would make sure to do all he could for her now.
When Brittany called, they would work something out.
He hated to hope—his parents had taught him not to do that—but he still did. There was no denying his daughter’s place in his life and his heart. Maybe Brittany would agree to joint custody. He didn’t want Gabby thinking he’d abandoned her the way he had been abandoned.