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Five hours later Molly should have been elated. She’d found her engagement ring wrapped in a thin silk scarf in her suitcase. It was stuck deep in a zipped side pocket she never used. She’d shown Deputy Lewis the receipt for the five thousand dollars and had been cleared of the charge of theft. Plus, Jason was the one in trouble now. The snake had even called her! Pitifully apologizing, with just a hint that this was all her fault for leaving him in the first place. Snake! But things had moved fast once the police were involved. He’d already had his sports car repossessed, which was going to be sold, so Molly would get her ten thousand dollars back. Plus, no doubt trying to wheedle his way out of a court case, Jason had told Molly he happened to have another ten thousand dollars in cash, and he’d send it to her for repayment of his office fit out. He’d had all that cash, all along! The thing.
She should be exhilarated by all this, but all she felt was numb.
Saul Solomon, the man she thought she’d said goodbye to hours ago, was back in the lodge house.
“Tired?” he asked.
Molly nodded but couldn’t look at him although she managed a smile. “Thanks for everything.” Like just being himself. His gorgeous, caring self—and every other wonderful trait he possessed.
He had his hands stuffed into the pockets of his hiking pants and a taut expression on his face, as though he too was holding back elation and exhaustion and the same kind of numbness.
“Night then,” he said but didn’t move.
They locked eyes for what felt like eternity but was only a couple of seconds. He pulled his hands from his pockets. “It’s best, Molly.”
“Of course. Totally best. Bad idea to do otherwise.”
They hadn’t voiced the reason for their exchange but both knew what it was—let’s not sleep together. Bad idea to sleep together. She agreed with him even though the words hadn’t been spoken. She’d fall deeper into the eternal pit of love, if it was possible to dig herself any further into the bedrock of that place. Love was supposed to be a multicolored rainbow, all shiny and fresh with dewy raindrops. Or a grassy meadow filled with sunshine and the hum of insects and the moo of cows. As it turned out for Molly, it was the most painful emotion she’d ever experienced. She’d rather be dumped publicly by a hundred Mr. Birlings than go through this ever again.
“Night then,” she said and turned for her bedroom door.
Saul sighed in the darkness of his room. He hadn’t slept and neither was he likely to. He was in his bed, propped up on his pillows, hands behind his head, looking out the opened French window straight into the night. The moon was almost full and light filtered inside his room like candlelight.
His contemplations, in the middle of a silent night, were engulfed in a racket of noise in his mind. Like a cacophony of birds launching from a tree top. Or a bull bucking and kicking up the dust in a corral.
He’d just lie here until daybreak, then get up and walk out. Maybe he’d get up before daybreak and walk out. Should he stay and say goodbye to Molly? Hell, of course he should. Would he stay and say goodbye to Molly? Hell, probably not.
He forced his eyes closed and breathed deeply, and figured he was getting there. Getting to the place of detachment that was so much easier to handle. Until a soft noise outside his door made him turn his head and hold his breath.
The door creaked open and Molly tiptoed into his room and up to the bed.
By the time Saul lifted his hands from behind his head, she was pulling back the sheet and slipping in beside him.
His blood pounded as he shifted to give her some room. Not that there was much room with both of them in the small single bed.
She pulled the sheet up under her arms and snuggled into him, burying her head in his shoulder. “Not much room in this bed,” she said.
Saul smiled as he put his arm around her. “Are you uncomfortable?”
“No. Night.”
“Good night, Molly.”
He should have left after driving her home, then finding the ring, and showing the deputy the receipt for the money Birling had taken off her. Or after making a call to the sheriff’s office in Colorado and talking to an old school friend there, filling the deputy in about Jason Birling’s nefarious ways. He should have walked out again after that, after he knew Molly was going to get her money back—but how could he leave her after everything that had happened to her today? Anyway, he now had one more memory to take with him, and perhaps this one would stay with him forever and be the highlight. He didn’t need to have sex with her, he was comfortable just being next to her. Glad he could hold her. Holding Molly close like this was their true goodbye. She’d remember him fondly, hopefully. She’d recall he hadn’t been a player and tried to get into her pajama bottoms—which, if he wasn’t mistaken in the dim light from the moon, were covered in yellow roses for Texas.
I’ll miss you, Molly. He kissed the top of her head. She didn’t move so he stilled, and listened, barring all other sounds from his head. Her breathing was deep and regular. She’d fallen asleep in his arms. At least he’d been able to offer her some comfort.
“This is getting to be a habit.” Molly grinned at Saul, then turned her back.
“It is,” he said, and she heard a reciprocal smile in his voice.
Why aren’t we right for each other?
She’d insisted she would drive him into town. He’d refused so she’d gotten even more insistent. She’d done that for herself, of course. She wasn’t done with making a stand yet.
“So—” she said, opening the door of the pickup. “Ready? I reckon—”
“No,” he interrupted, his voice low and authoritative.
Molly turned, hand still on the opened driver’s door.
“No,” he said again, gentler in tone this time.
Molly met his gaze and held it as a hundred thoughts went through her mind until she gave in to the truth of this. “Okay,” she said at last.
She was wrong. He was right. There was no way she could drive into Hopeless again to drop him off again and say goodbye again.
He moved toward her, dressed in his hiking gear, looking unshaven and ready for adventure and entirely too gorgeous and independent for her liking.
She’d snuck from his bed and his arms just before daybreak, surprised she’d slept at all, but not wanting to be in his bed when he woke. At the door, she’d taken one more look at the man whose bed she’d left, only to find him awake after all, and looking at her.
They hadn’t spoken, they’d just looked at each other for a hundred seconds, then she’d turned and gone back to her own room to get dressed.
A car’s engine had them both turning to the driveway.
Nerve endings in Molly’s body prickled and stood on end. “Who can that be?” she asked, thinking—what now? Nothing came to her through her newfound chanelling...
“It’s a rental car,” Saul said, moving to her side.
The dark blue vehicle slowed at the curve in the driveway.
“Oh, hell,” Saul said, as he stiffened.
“What is it?”
The driver was a lady in her early fifties maybe, and she looked a lot friendly to Molly, with her light brown hair cut in a bob and her face still youthfully lovely. The woman in the passenger seat wore a blindingly coral suit jacket over an equally bright coral blouse, and was beaming and waving madly. She had long auburn hair, cascading around her face and shoulders in big fat curls.
“What is that?” Molly asked Saul.
“Eh—” He shifted at her side, and stiffened even more. “You’re about to meet my girlfriend who isn’t my girlfriend.”
“Sally-Opal.” Sally was smiling widely as she got out of the car, then started jumping and up and down excitably. “So who’s the other lady?” Molly asked.
“My mother.”
The hairs on Molly’s arms rose. Oh, boy. Great timing. “Right,” she said, checking on Saul. He had his focus on his mother, brows lowered, but it wasn’t a frown. He looked downright petrified.
Molly put a hand on his arm. “I’ll deal with Sally, you talk to your mom.”
He blew out his breath. “Why now? Why did this have to happen now?”
“Don’t know. But there’ll be a reason. Get it done.”
“Haven’t got a choice,” he said wryly a second before Sally-Opal threw herself into his arms.
He grunted as he fell back a step, his arms going around Sally in order to halt them both falling to the ground.
“Saul! I’m here!”
“Eh, Molly,” he said, untangling himself from Sally’s octopus hold. “This is Sally-Opal.”
“Hi. Molly Mackillop,” Molly said holding her hand out. “Welcome to my hacienda.”
Sally pouted, her baby-blue eyes filling with tears. Oh, please! Molly turned and smiled at Saul’s mother. “Molly Mackillop.”
“How do you do?” Mrs. Solomon said, darting a glance at her son before taking Molly’s hand. “We met your mother in town, Molly. She was lovely. Very helpful.”
“Helpful?” Sally squealed. “She delayed my reunion with my man by over an hour.”
Thanks for trying, Momma.
“Mom,” Saul said, and Molly heard his unease and knew he was trying to gauge how this meeting would go. And perhaps whether or not he’d get out of it with his skin intact.
Molly suppressed a sudden smile. He had nothing to worry about. His mom was here because she loved her son and wanted to make things better.
“I’ve heard about you,” Sally said accusingly to Molly. “You’re crazy. You’re a witch!”
“Hey!” Saul said. “That’s enough.”
“It’s okay,” Molly said. “I’m just trying to decide whether to turn her into a bobcat or a rattler.”
Sally shut up after that, and Molly turned her attention to Mrs. Solomon. “I think you and Saul ought to go inside. Saul? Why don’t you show your mom the hacienda while I show Sally the cliff edge?”
Saul stifled a hesitant laugh and wiped a hand across his mouth.
“Saul?” his mom asked, blinking at him with a troubled expression. “Would that be all right with you?”
“Yes,” he said. “I’d like that, Mom.”
She flushed because he’d called her Mom. How sweet! There was going to be a reunion right here in her house.
“No way am I leaving you, Saul!”
Molly sighed. If there’d been a cliff edge close enough...
She studied Sally. The woman needed guidance from the type of man she’d be enthralled with. The kind of man who’d pander to her whims, who’d love petting and admiring her, and enjoy it all as much as Sally did. But where to find one so late in the day?
Another car engine caught their attention.
Momma! In Davie’s truck.
“Child—I had to follow you,” Momma said, looking at Sally as she slipped out of the truck and strode forward on her heels, looking like a wave of pink redemption. “I have news!”
Molly pulled a frown. What was Momma up to now?
“Oh, honey,” Momma said, moving toward Sally-Opal, arms outstretched.
“What?” Sally demanded, darting a look at everyone before focusing again on Momma with a terrified glint in her baby-blue eyes.
“I have never in my life had a vision so strong!” Momma said, eyes still on Sally.
“A vision?”
“A man!” Momma declared.
Sally-Opal blinked. “But I’ve got a man.”
Momma brushed that off. “He’s not right for you. But this man—oh, child! Handsome doesn’t begin to describe him. And rich! Beyond a woman’s wildest imaginings.”
“Handsome and rich?” Sally asked, looking bewildered.
A dreamy look swirled in Momma’s eyes. “He’s looking for you. He’s looking for his perfect woman. He may take his helicopter or his private jet—but you can’t hide from him.”
“He has a jet?”
“Tall, dark, handsome,” Momma said as she counted off his attributes on her fingers. “Rich, jet, helicopter.”
“Momma!” Molly said, thinking it was about time to put a stop to this. Poor Sally was deluded enough as it was, without being given thoughts of handsome rich men chasing her.
Momma gave her a quick wink. “It’s fine, Molly. Believe me.”
Sally-Opal looked at Momma, then down the driveway, and Molly could almost read her thoughts.
“I have to go!” she declared.
How fickle.
“Quick!” Momma said. “I happen to be rushing to Lubbock, child. I’ll drive you to the airport.”
“Oh, thank you! Thank you!”
“Think nothing of it. When a man like that is on the prowl—no woman should keep him waiting.”
Sally-Opal spun around, heading for Davie’s truck. “I need to get my nails done. I need to buy a new dress.” She threw herself in through the passenger door and slammed it closed. “Come on!” she squealed at Momma. “I have to go. Now!”
“Is this really happening?” Saul asked in a bewildered tone.
“Don’t doubt it,” Molly supplied. “Momma,” she added. “Tall, dark, and handsome? Rich?”
“It’s true,” Momma said. “That little honeybee has a tall, dark, handsome wealthy man coming her way. He’s also ten years older than her, so she’ll have the father-figure type she so clearly needs.”
It was Molly’s turn to be astounded. She’d only just wished for such a man to make an appearance, and five seconds later Momma turns up with one! “How did you know what was needed?” she asked, wondering how far and how deep her mother’s gift ran.
Momma shrugged. “Honey, there’s always a man like that for a woman like Sally-Opal.”
“That’s the truth,” Mrs. Solomon said. “Thank you, Marie. I had no idea how I was going to ditch her.”
Momma leaned in and kissed Mrs. Solomon’s cheek. “No problem, Belle. Now I’d better get Sally out of everyone’s hair. That man is looking for her. He just doesn’t know it yet.”
Momma busied herself all the way to the truck, calling orders to Sally-Opal to buckle up and get ready for the ride of her life.
Then they were gone, leaving a trail of dust kicking up from the driveway, and Molly felt the tension in the air rise. “Well,” she said, glancing at Saul, then his mother. “I’ll leave you both be. Lovely to meet you, Mrs Solomon.”
As she walked away her spine tingled. They were watching her, and although she couldn’t read what was in either Saul’s or his mother’s mind, she had a feeling Belle Solomon knew something Molly didn’t.
Saul watched Molly walk toward the lodge house, and let the silence now surrounding him and his mom linger a little longer than it ought to.
He chanced a look at his mom. She was staring after Molly too, apparently as transfixed by what had happened just now with Sally-Opal and Marie as Saul was. She must know all about the Sally-Opal issue because Sally would have told her. But she obviously hadn’t known much about Molly and he didn’t want her thinking the wrong thoughts.
“Molly’s a really good person,” he offered.
“She’s lovely.”
Wasn’t she?
“You’ve got yourself a real Texan beauty, Saul,” she said, smiling shyly.
“She’s not mine.”
“Why not? You can’t take your eyes off her.”
He shifted, uncomfortable under his mother’s knowing gaze. “Would you like to come inside?” He indicated the hacienda behind him.
“I’m fine out here. The air is fresh and warm, and what a wonderful property.” She raised her hand to shelter her eyes as she peered out at the vista beyond the courtyard.
Saul took a breath. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“No, you’re not,” she said, turning to study him.
Her smile wasn’t shy now. He recognized it as one he’d seen numerous times throughout his youth. She was angling for the truth.
He cleared his throat. “I’m on my way out of the valley.” He glanced at his backpack, propped against Molly’s pickup. “Not sure where I was heading first, but I was planning on dropping by to visit you.”
His mom nodded, and waited.
“And seeing,” Saul continued, with what felt like a great big dust ball in his throat, “if we could, you know—” He twirled his wrist. “Work things out.”
After what felt like a dead weight of time, his mother’s eyes filled with tears. “I would like that.”
Every emotion he’d felt in the last six years filled him and overflowed, like a barrel full to the brim and flooding the ground around his feet.
“Mom.” He stepped forward and took her in his arms. “Mom,” he said again, not having any words yet.
He remembered the pain in her eyes when the unbelievable news had first been discovered by his sister and spread around the ranch house like a wildfire burning down the walls. The explanations. The accusations flung around. The fist fights he’d had with his brothers. He hadn’t wanted to listen to reasoning, verbal or physical. The only thing he’d wanted to do was punch at everything that had hurt him.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I’m sorry for all of it.” His behavior, his leaving. “I’m sorry I left.”
She had her arms around his middle now, and she pressed harder.
“So you’ll meet with us,” she said.
Saul nodded. “I just need to get my head straight first. Is that okay?”
“It’s okay.”
“I truly was planning to come to you, Mom. I’m not lying about that. I’m not saying it because you turned up here.”
“I know that now,” she said, pulling from his hug. “And your sister? She’s sorry for the way she handled it.”
“I guess she is, and, yeah, sure. I was planning to see her too.”
“And your brothers?”
Saul bit his tongue.
She smiled, that same smile she’d given her boys as she lined them up in her kitchen, giving them the parent talk and dishing out their punishments, gauged on whatever fight or bust up or mess they’d gotten themselves into.
“Yeah,” he said, nodding. “My brothers, too. But just be aware they’re each likely to want to take a shot at me.”
“They just want to know you’re all right. They want to know it’s okay between us. Is it?” she asked, then went on before he could answer. “Do you want me to make the explanations again? I can do that. I’m happy to talk about that time thirty years ago, and the time since then. I’ll tell you everything. Especially about your father—not the man who fathered you, but the one who was a father to you—always a father to you.”
He took her hand and squeezed it, his own pain heightening as he saw his mother’s rise. “There’s no need, Mom. You explained everything to me six years ago. I don’t need to put you through that again just to find my way out of this mess. I’m already out of it—and that’s because you turned up here, looking for me. Willing to take whatever it was you thought I might dish out at you.” He swallowed. “All I want to do is apologize to you for my bad behavior.”
She pulled him into her for another hug and his arms went around his mom again.
“Sorry, Mom. For everything.”
She nodded against him. “Me, too, Saul. More than you know.” She looked up and into his eyes. “But the one thing I will never regret, is having you.”
He smiled at her. “I’m kind of glad you had me, too.”
She laughed, looking bewildered, and amazed. Yet he saw a contentment on her face, too, and it would be striking her heart.
“Mom,” he said, having to let her know what his plans were and hoping she’d understand. “I have to get out of this valley now, but I can’t come straight back to Colorado. I need to... I need to walk off some stuff.”
She took his hands in hers. “You have to walk off Molly Mackillop.”
He was sure he flushed. Heat certainly rose up his neck. “I can’t stay here.”
“I know that’s how you feel. Marie and I talked about it while Sally-Opal was under the dryer.”
“The what?”
His mom smiled. “Marie put her hair in rollers then shoved the stupid girl under the hot hairdryer so we could talk and she wouldn’t hear.”
“All that bullsh—nonsense with Sally-Opal, it’s not true.”
“Oh, good heavens, son, I knew that the moment she telephoned Karlie and your sister put her on the phone to me. I’m thankful we stopped off at the salon first, before coming here.”
“So you and Marie talked about me and Molly?”
She nodded. “But it’s nothing you need worry about. We’re mothers, and we both understand you have your paths to walk. We’re not going to interfere.”
So why did he get the impression that both mothers had already done that?
“Will you say goodbye and thank you to Molly for me?” she asked.
Saul nodded.
“Tell her I’ll see...” She faltered, and closed her mouth before continuing. “Tell her I’ll see her around.”
“You will?” Saul asked. “When?” It wasn’t likely his mom would visit Texas again. She’d never been out of Colorado before this. Too busy with the ranch and her family.
His family. The same family. Relief overcame him again. “How about if I visit in around, say...” How long would it take him to walk off the Molly spell? A lifetime, and that was too long for his family to wait to hear his apology in person. “Say in a month?”
“I’m guessing it’ll be more likely we’ll all come to visit you.”
“How come?” he asked. “I don’t know where I’m going yet.”
“No,” she said softly. “But I do.”
He threw her a frown. “What exactly did you and Marie talk about?”
“Our love for our children. Now, one more hug, and I’m driving out of here and getting on a plane that’ll take me home.” She hugged him hard, then pulled from him, her smile sweet and her whole demeanor relaxed and joyous. “Just like you’re going home.”
“Mom,” he said cautiously. “I don’t know where my home will be.”
“No,” she said again. “But I do.” She stepped back and looked over at the lodge house. “Now go get Molly, tell her I said goodbye, and get yourself gone Saul.” She looked up at him. “You can’t go back until you move away.”
“Gone?” Molly asked, looking down the driveway and feeling like she’d been left out of the loop. “Just gone?”
“I’m sorry, Molly,” Saul said, pulling her attention back his way. He shrugged. “I don’t know why, but Mom wanted to go quickly and quietly. She said to say goodbye and thank you.”
Worry knotted Molly’s stomach. “But you did sort it all out between you, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” he said, looking nonplussed. “Somehow, yes we did. I’ll probably go visit—”
“No!” Molly halted him with a raised hand. “We made a pact not to talk about when and where, remember?”
“So we did.” Then he smiled, which turned into a laugh. “I feel sorry for that guy with the jet.”
“Just be grateful it’s not you.” She moved to the pickup. “So let’s get you gone.” She got in the driver seat, not giving him a chance to complain about the decision she’d made. She was driving him into town, come hell or high water. “I think my favorite moment was Sally’s face when I said I’d turn her into a rattler.” Molly banged the door closed and threw him a raised eyebrow out of the opened window. “Coming?”
He studied her for ages, then inhaled, picked up his backpack, and slung it in the tray of the pickup.
“My favorite moment,” he said as he got into the passenger seat, “was the look on her face when Marie said the magic words, ‘helicopter or private jet’.”
Molly agreed it was a good moment. “She’d never have gotten such luxuries from you.”
“Too true,” he said and the look of relief on his face made her want to smile—if this wasn’t about to be the saddest moment of her life.
She put the pickup into gear and burnt some rubber as she swung the vehicle down the curve of the driveway, ignoring Saul’s body wince.
He ducked when she drove beneath the arch.
“Really must remember to get someone to fix this arch,” she said, turning the pickup toward Hopeless.
“You really must,” Saul agreed. “And don’t go forgetting or putting it on one of your possible lists.”
“I’ll remember. Hey, what about that part when Sally-Opal...”
They were still chuckling and mimicking Sally when Molly drove onto Hopeless Main Street, and it was only then that the reality of what she was doing hit her in the chest, like a blow from a jackhammer.
Keep your cool. This is only going to take one-hundred-and-twenty seconds.
Saul quietened, too—as soon as she pulled up.
“Third time lucky,” Molly said in a sing-song voice, forcing bravado.
“A bit easier this time, eh?” he asked with a slow smile. “Now we’ve had some practice.”
Molly returned his smile. “A lot easier.” What a liar.
“Good,” he said, and got out of the pickup.
Molly squeezed her eyes shut for a few moments. Only a minute longer.
He hauled his backpack off the bed and slung a strap over his shoulder, the weight of it settling on his broad back and toughened shoulders, then he stepped back from the pickup. “Are you going to be okay driving home?”
Home? Why had he chosen that description? But it was her home and it was going to be her saving grace and perhaps he knew that. She nodded. He didn’t need to know that all she had to do was drive out of town the way she’d driven in, get home fast, and cry her crazy heart out for the rest of her life.
“I’ll see you, Molly.”
“Probably not,” she said, producing another smile. She’d lost him three times already. She couldn’t go through a fourth goodbye.
He stared at her, unmoving, unsmiling.
She dragged her eyes off him, shifted the pickup into drive and pressed her foot on the accelerator.
Saul watched the pickup until it disappeared, his heart heavy. Was he being a jerk? Hell, yes. Was he going to do anything about it? Hell, of course not. But that goodbye had been harder than the first two.
He forced himself to walk away. His legs felt leaden but he pushed on, making his stride long and deliberate.
There wasn’t a soul in town. As though they’d all been warned to stay clear. He glanced at the salon but the door was closed. The bunting Mr. Jack had made fluttered overhead. The co-op market garden was deserted, which surprised him as he’d heard there had been a work team delegated the task of renovating it and making it bigger. The fruit and vegetable table was no longer there and the honesty jar was gone. It had likely been filled for the first time, since there’d been so many visitors in the last few days, and Mrs. Wynkoop would be tucked up in her house, counting the coins and planning a celebratory barbeque for the townspeople.
He slowed as he glanced at the map he’d drawn, stuck to a temporary noticeboard on Winnie’s tourist booth.
Everything in Hopeless was different to the way it had been when he’d first walked into town. But this new growth still had a temporary feel to it. They’ll get there. He took his eyes off the booth. They’re already getting there.
He had a vision of how the town might look in a year, in a couple of years, in a decade.
He stopped walking when the pain in his chest got so bad he couldn’t draw breath.
He studied the ground, focusing on it until the pain got a little easier.
Some form of awareness appeared to have a grip on him. Maybe it wasn’t a heart attack, this pain in his chest.
He looked up at the You Are Now Leaving the Happy Hamlet of Hopeless sign.
Were his thoughts all relative or were they absolute truths? His experiences had made him, hadn’t they? Or was he bigger than his experiences?
Mind-numbing. Why was he thinking like this? He never delved into psychology, so where had these thoughts come from and why had they arrived now, here, at the end of Hopeless Main Street?
He’d admit he felt troubled and confused but he’d felt like this before. Six years ago. He’d agree he was hopeful he’d be able to let go emotionally one day, and clear his head. Open his mind, and all that other psychobabble, so he was free to do whatever he damned well pleased. Free to move on. Free to dream. Free to explore and dig deeper for a reason to get up each morning. Free to live as he chose.
Free to lose. Lose because of the choices the very freedom he respected had created.
Go back by the way you have come. His grandpa’s favourite saying, although Saul had never understood what it meant.
A mind-blowing attentiveness sat inside him like a heavy brick someone had shoved down his throat and he hadn’t been able to swallow.
His mother’s words came to him. You can’t go back until you move away.
It didn’t mean he had to return to Colorado. It was nothing to do with going anywhere in a physical sense, but in a mental one.
He took another look at Hopeless, scanning the pretty pale blue and green buildings. The market co-op plot sheltered by the Spanish style terracotta and whitewash meeting hall. The new dog run area opposite. The temporary tourist booth outside the art and craft shop, and the flamboyant multi-colored bunting strung from building to building. Then he looked toward the far end of the main street, where Molly had driven away just minutes ago. The mirroring sign You Are Now Leaving the Happy Hamlet of Hopeless stared him down, the words branded in his head.
