Madison almost let it go to voice mail, but a Saturday afternoon phone call from Jen proved too much of a temptation. She barely got in a hello before Jen asked, “Do you want to shop for refrigerators?”
“What’s wrong with your old one?”
Jen laughed. “Nothing. Well, it’s for my garage. For the lunches. Are you in?” Jen had rounded up a group of parents to house the bagged lunches while they worked on funding the kitchen.
“Well, when you put it that way, yes.”
“Great. I’ll pick you up in five.”
Madison hung up and glanced at her clothes. Was this going to be another one of their non-date dates? Shit, she wasn’t even showered, and she didn’t have time. She brushed her teeth, changed her clothes, and stuffed her hair into a baseball cap. A huge black truck pulled up at the curb just as her phone dinged.
Here.
Madison stared at the cab, and sure enough, Jen was at the wheel. Climbing up into it, she said, “Is this your truck?”
Jen grinned and patted the dashboard. “I know it looks good on me.” Madison stared at her outfit—heavy sweater, black jeans, and hiking boots, rural Jen—and decided she liked the look. Catching Madison’s appreciative gaze, she winked. “I dressed down for you.”
Madison laughed. “I see.” Apparently, it was going to be another non-date date, but she didn’t mind. This easy banter felt right.
“It’s actually Nat’s. I do have an ulterior motive for inviting you.” She leaned over, and Madison leaned in. For one second, she felt like Jen might kiss her, but then she bypassed her lips and whispered in her ear. “I need someone to do the heavy lifting.”
Madison’s brain tripped on her words, and she pulled back. Jen’s playfulness was new and it knocked her off-balance. “What?”
Putting the truck in gear, Jen navigated the first few streets while she explained. “I don’t want to wait to have it delivered. We’re bringing it home today.”
Something about that felt flimsy—she couldn’t wait a few days?—but Madison didn’t call her on it. She’d go pretty much anywhere to spend time with Jen.
In the appliance store, one of the sales reps greeted them, and Jen asked, “Is Diane working?”
“Not today. Is there something I can help with?” He stepped forward, and Jen did the talking. They wandered down aisles of washers, dryers, dishwashers, ranges, and ovens, finally coming to a stop in front of the refrigerators.
Madison only paid half-attention, opening and closing doors while he talked. As he showed them the features, something about Jen’s tone alerted Madison to her growing annoyance just before he asked, “Now, are you two sisters?”
Uh-oh. Madison popped her head back out and glanced at Jen. Her ability to see through Jen’s facade was working overtime. The question here was, did she want to stop Jen or join in the blowup?
Jen’s lips pursed, and she said, “No.”
He looked at them for a moment and then smiled, “But you’re related, right?”
Madison cut another look at Jen, her expression tight. He was a second away from getting his ass handed to him. Even though he deserved it, she chose to sidestep the blowup with another tactic that she knew Jen would enjoy. “Honey, take a look at this.” She wrapped her hand around Jen’s bicep and pulled her toward a stainless steel fridge. “Wouldn’t this look lovely in our beach house?”
He faltered for a moment and then adjusted his pitch to their relationship status. Madison clung to Jen for the rest of the visit. Without acknowledging what was going on, they kept up the ruse for the next two stores, with Jen grabbing her hand in the next one and Madison picking hers up on the third one. Halfway through the second store, it stopped being a game, and Madison let herself sink into the fantasy of being Jen’s girlfriend. The more she played, the more she wanted it to be real. This project between them made it hard to discern Jen’s true feelings. These non-date dates were killing her. Did Jen even see her as a dating partner? It was hard to tell. And if she did, how did they start dating when they’d already slept together? That was the real question.
Once outside, she let go of Jen’s hand, tired of the ruse, but Jen pulled Madison against her. Madison put her hands on Jen’s shoulders to stop herself from falling into her.
Jen steadied her and said, “You’re getting very good at playing my girlfriend.”
Distracted by Jen’s closeness, Madison ignored her uncertainty and demurred. “I’ve had practice.”
Jen raised her eyebrows. “So you fake date other women.”
“Only you.” She wanted the words to mean so much more.
“I feel special.”
You are. Jen’s smile did things to her that made her want to show her. But she had no idea how Jen felt, so Madison slipped away and called over her shoulder, “You should.”
* * *
Jen sagged against the truck, trying to control her desire to chase Madison. Fuck. What was she doing? Shopping together had turned out to be the most domestic and erotic thing she’d ever done. All those little touches, overt and furtive, in front of the salespeople. After a particularly teasing touch, Jen had almost dragged her out behind the garden section. The only thing holding her back was the on-again off-again signals she was getting. Like now. They kept coming up to this line only to step back. It was frustrating and exciting and had her totally aroused.
Taking a deep breath, she clambered into the truck. It was almost noon, and she was getting hungry. “Can I buy you lunch?” Maybe they’d talk about what was going on. She suggested Sugar Magnolia off Thayer Street. Madison seemed a little ambivalent, but Jen couldn’t figure out why. Was she frustrated, too? Maybe this had been a bad idea.
When they arrived, the place was loud and packed with a mix of locals and college students. The young woman who greeted them at the door shrieked and hugged Madison. An unexpected stab of jealousy rushed through Jen. Was this woman the reason for Madison’s reluctance? “Oh my God, Kayla said you were back in town.”
Madison pulled back and grabbed Jen’s hand. “Jen, this is my cousin, Deanna.”
Oh, cousin. Deanna gave Jen a quick hug, and Jen’s pettiness disappeared with Deanna’s warm smile. “Welcome.” She then whispered something in Madison’s ear. Madison blushed and shook her head. Judging from the way Deanna looked at her, Jen figured she was being checked out. What she couldn’t decide was if it was favorable or not, and for once, that mattered to her.
Deanna ducked behind the podium, checked something, then fished a couple of menus out from the stand. “I’ve got you covered. Follow me.”
One of the waiting college kids said, “I thought they didn’t take reservations.” Jen just smiled at him and waved.
Deanna led them through the cramped dining room toward a tiny table in the back. She grabbed some silverware and deposited it at the table while they sat. “It’s not the best in the house.” She mock glared at Madison as she handed them their menus. “If you’d let us known, we could have set aside something nicer. I’m going to let Aunt Evelyn know you’re here. She’ll want to see you.” She hurried past and walked toward the kitchen.
Jen turned her attention to Madison and smiled. Her early reticence made sense now. “I didn’t know your family owned this place. What did she whisper to you?”
Madison blushed. She grabbed her napkin and fiddled with the knot. “She asked if this was a date.”
Jen found her slight awkwardness charming, and her heart melted a little bit more. Taking a risk, she asked, “And is it?”
Madison held eye contact while fidgeting with her utensils. “I don’t know. Is it?”
Jen wanted to laugh. Of course Madison threw it back. They really needed to talk, but the idea that this thing between them would dissipate in the harsh light of reality kept her quiet. She skirted the truth instead. “Well, if it is, I’m not sure I want to own up to it. I mean, really, who takes a date appliance shopping?” She looked for clues to what Madison was thinking, seeing her face falter, then change to a smile at the joke about appliances. Both reactions made Jen feel better. It wasn’t just one-sided.
“I’ve had worse dates.”
Jen leaned in. “Do tell.”
A reed thin woman came to their table with her arms open and swept Madison into a hug. “Your mother said you were back for good.” She was probably ten years Jen’s senior. “I’m Evelyn.”
Jen stood and shook her hand. “Jen Winslow.”
Evelyn gave her a quick up and down, not checking her out, per se but more like sizing her up. Jen took it in stride and put on her best donor face, asking about the restaurant and the best dishes on the menu. That broke the ice, and soon Evelyn was bringing out drinks and giving suggestions.
After she left with their order, Madison shook her head and laughed.
Jen leaned in. “Something funny?”
Madison rubbed her forehead. “I don’t know what I was thinking bringing you here.”
Jen glanced over her shoulder to where Evelyn had disappeared. “Technically, I brought you. But I thought that went well.”
Madison shook her head. “Maybe. I don’t know. She’s hard to read.”
Apparently, Jen had missed the subtext of the situation. She touched Madison’s hand. “Well, I didn’t notice. She seems nice. And she obviously cares for you…they both do.”
Madison squeezed her hand. “Yeah, they do. I’m just not used to them having opinions about who I’m dating.”
Jen grinned at the slip. “Dating?”
Madison groaned. “That’s not what I meant…I’m mean, yes. No. It’s been a long time since I’ve been home, and I didn’t date much in high school. It’s just weird.”
Jen let her ramble a bit before she let her off the hook. But they’d get back to that later. “How did you end up with your family?”
The subject change worked, and Madison’s shoulders relaxed. “What? They don’t look like my birth parents?”
She chuckled and played along. “It’s the eyes. There’s a difference in your bone structure that says you’re adopted.”
Madison swatted her shoulder. “That’s such bullshit.”
She shrugged. “Well, actually no. It’s not. But there’s also the fact that you’re white, and they’re not.”
Madison took a drink before answering, “After my fourth removal, my mother relinquished custody of me, and they adopted me.”
Fourth removal? Angry for her, Jen finally understood Madison’s need for independence.
Madison nodded. “Yes. I was fostered by them three out of the four times. They always kept tabs on me, so when I came up a fourth time, they adopted me.” She laughed with a slight edge. “My birth parents are total racists. It kills them that I ended up with a black family.”
Her brief interaction with Travis only confirmed that. “How old were you when they adopted you?”
“Sixteen.”
Jen imagined Carter going through those life experiences, and her heart hurt for Madison. So much uncertainty going from house to house at such a young age. No wonder she’d insisted on taking care of herself. “I’m sorry you had to go through that so young.”
Madison straightened her silverware. “It was hard. I was angry all the time, and then it got better.”
Jen held her hand, and they sat in silence until Madison shifted and pulled away as Evelyn arrived with a huge tray and tons of food. There was no way they were going to eat all of it.
After the first bites, Jen offered her own history. “I was thirteen when my dad came out.”
From then on, the conversation flowed between them. She talked about her father’s coming out and her parents’ divorce. She shared stories of her own early dating experiences, people and places she hadn’t thought about in years.
She offered to pay, and Madison brushed her off. Madison and Evelyn argued briefly about the check before Madison whispered something in her ear. Evelyn glanced at Jen, then took Madison’s credit card.
Curious, she asked, “What did you say?”
Madison gave her that awkward but slightly cocky smile that she was finding it harder and harder to resist. “I told her the truth.”
Jen’s heart skipped a beat. “And that was?”
Madison looked down and then up. “Its’s a date.”
Jen tucked her hand into Madison’s elbow and acknowledged the truth. “Yes, yes, it is.”
They slipped outside, and she only pulled away when she helped Madison up into the truck. She climbed in on the other side and caught Madison staring. Heat swelled inside her at the intense look. “What?”
“Does this answer your question?”
Madison leaned across the console and captured Jen’s lips.
Surprised, Jen recovered quickly and breathed the word yes against Madison’s lips. She let Madison dictate the heat of the kiss, delighting in the feather soft touches but longing to pour all of her pent-up passion into the kiss. She’d waited this long; she could wait some more. And when Madison pulled back, Jen didn’t follow.
Seconds passed as Jen tried to figure out what to say or do. The woman who could read any room and navigate social situations with ease didn’t have a sense of her next move or Madison’s.
Madison broke the silence before it got awkward. “Where do we go from here?”
“I was kind of following your lead.”
“I’ve never done this before.”
Jen smiled, certain her sarcastic quip was written on her face.
“You know what I mean.”
“Well, we can pretend we didn’t share a night of fabulous sex. Which we already did and look where it got us.”
Madison laughed. “You thought it was fabulous?”
“And you didn’t?” Jen joked, but part of her was afraid she’d read her wrong.
But then Madison gave her that smile that felt so dangerously addictive. “I did.”
Unimaginably relieved, Jen continued, “Or we could see where this could take us.”
“And if it doesn’t work out, then what?”
Jen suppressed her urge to laugh. She’d had plenty of experience dealing with her exes on a daily basis. If it didn’t work out, she’d just add another to the group. But this was the crux of the matter with Madison, and she knew it. Madison had been burned by Erika, and she needed to address that if she wanted to move beyond her shadow. She wasn’t going to sugarcoat the truth, but she could promise her one thing. “I can’t give you guarantees, but I’m not Erika.”
Her point made, Jen put the truck in drive. The silence felt less awkward after she caught Madison glancing her way more than once, and her mind circled back to the original purpose of their day together. In hindsight, finding a refrigerator had just been a pretense to spend time with her. “I don’t suppose you’d still be interested in another round of appliance shopping.”
Madison’s chuckle filled the cab, and Jen smiled at the warmth it gave her to hear it. “I could be convinced to spend another hour.”
“I promise I won’t make you carry it.” And she didn’t. Her urgency to have it delivered that day disappeared in favor of spending more time with Madison.
An hour later, she pulled into Madison’s driveway and hesitated. Should she get out and open the door or lean in for another kiss? For all their talk, nothing was settled. Madison took that uncertainty away by giving her a kiss on the cheek. She pulled back before Jen could respond and said, “Next time, you need to up your game.” Jen’s smile mirrored her heart. Next time she would. Especially now that she knew it was a date.