For years and years people who had them referred to their girl friends as their girl friends. With the advent of that unattractive style known as hip, many people stole the term old lady from perfectly innocent black jazz musicians and began using it in regard to their own girl friends. Then came women’s lib and quite a number of people apparently felt that the word old was sexist. These people began to call their girl friends their “ladies.”
Lest you get the impression that I am totally opposed to the word lady I rush to assure you that I think it is a perfectly nice word when used correctly. The word lady is used correctly only as follows:
A. To refer to certain female members of the English aristocracy.
B. In reference to girls who stand behind lingerie counters in department stores, but only when preceded by the word sales.
C. To alert a member of the gentle sex to the fact that she is no longer playing with a full deck. As in, “Lady, what are you—nuts or something?”
D. To differentiate between girls who put out and girls who don’t. Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don’t are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn’t put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a lesbian.