Many of my friends tell me, “I want to meditate, but I find that I’m too busy with my life.” I’ve heard countless times, “I’m just too busy to meditate.”
Having lived in London, Kathmandu, New York City, and Washington, DC, I can very much relate to this sense of being overwhelmed by life, particularly in urban settings, and feeling as though there is little time to meditate. If you have this feeling but still want to establish a meditation practice, let me offer a few suggestions.
First, if meditation is yet another task that you must place on your daily ‘to do’ list, another activity that you are doing because you’ve been told it’s good for you, perhaps it’s best not to meditate. If you have a sense of anxiety about your meditation practice, it’s likely that the resilience required to sustain it really won’t be there.
However, developing a strong daily meditation practice may simply be matter of making a slight adjustment to your attitude about meditation. Perhaps you can look at meditation as a discovery process that you approach with inquisitiveness and joy, rather than the heaviness of a duty or task.
Some of us spend an incredible amount of time taking care of our body with exercise—thousands of hours each year. We read about the exercise that is good for our body, we plan our day and week around our workouts and yoga and spinning classes, and then we execute our plan to be fit. Others spend an equal or more amount of time shopping for healthy food, researching the latest super-food, and preparing elaborate meals and organic smoothies. And when we aren’t exercising or eating, we’re scrolling our social media feed, where we find all sorts of temptations—places to vacation, clothes to buy, people to be like—all with the promise of some kind of lasting happiness.
There’s nothing inherently negative about staying fit, eating well, going on vacation, and keeping in touch with others. But what we should recognize is that for those of us who have the luxury of looking after our fitness, eating whatever we want, and spending time on Facebook or Instagram, what we choose to spend our time doing indicates our priorities.
I heard a Tibetan meditation teacher in Kathmandu once tell a group of college students, “If you say you have no time to meditate, it means you have no interest in it. You can stand in line for four hours to buy a new iPhone, but you can’t find 30 minutes to meditate! You are interested in your smartphone, so you find the time for it.”
So, perhaps if you develop a little bit of interest in meditation, and understand the benefits of practicing it, you will prioritize the time for meditation.
I provided several suggestions earlier in the book for establishing a daily meditation practice. However, if your duties at home or work get to be too much and you don’t find the time for a formal session, don’t feel bad about it. You’ll find there are always natural “gaps” during the day when you can meditate, perhaps as you’re waiting for the water to boil for your morning tea, or for your coffee to cool. Take those five to 10 minutes to sit silently and still and gather your intention and meditate for a short while.
Perhaps you can write in your meditation journal where these natural gaps occur during the course of your day—gaps where you can enliven your mind and refresh your attention with meditation.
Here’s another suggestion—the moment you think, I should meditate, or I should really be meditating more often, there and then, meditate. Direct your attention to the sensations of your body if you are seated, or even walking. Scan your body or perhaps transition to watching your breath for a few minutes. Just gather your attention, relax, and find freedom in your meditation practice.
You can do this on the bus or train, while waiting for an appointment or flight, or any number of times when you often allow your mind to wander. Otherwise you may habitually fill the time and space with scrolling your social media feed, reading endless emails, or flipping through a magazine.
If you’re at work, just take a moment in your office chair. You needn’t do anything except turn your mind inward, feel your body, locate your breath, and relax with a light focus on a chosen object. It can be that simple. And powerful. No need for anyone to know you are meditating! It’s probably best, however, not to meditate if your attention is needed elsewhere—like driving.
Find your “go-to” practice that you can rely upon anytime, anywhere. My go-to practice is breathing meditation—inhaling with attention, exhaling with relaxation. Don’t think that you have to have your meditation cushion, a totally quiet room with incense burning and a candle lit! These are nice supports for meditation practice. But if you wait until you have all the conditions ready before you meditate, you’ll miss opportunities to practice.
Meditating and being mindfully aware aren’t so much what you do, but who you are. So, try to make time to have formal meditation sessions, but remember that spontaneous and informal sessions are a skillful way to integrate meditation into your daily life.
Let’s take a look at one such practice off the cushion—walking meditation.
Walking meditation is an excellent and accessible way of practicing mindfulness awareness. You can think of it as a link between a formal, seated meditation practice and informal daily life.
Thich Nhat Hanh wrote in The Miracle of Mindfulness:
People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle. But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child—our own two eyes. All is a miracle.
Walking meditation isn’t complicated. Essentially, we are imbuing an action that we may do automatically with the mindfulness and awareness we have cultivated in our seated practice. It’s good to do walking meditation if we are feeling lethargic in our body or foggy in our mind. Generally, walking meditation enlivens the mind.
Walking meditation can be practiced alone or in a group in a formal manner, especially if you have a room or a garden where there are not others moving here and there.
The practice is simply being present with what is happening in your body as you move. Be aware of the world around you—with some caution, responding as needed—but keep your primary focus on feeling your body, or perhaps only your feet. There’s no need to watch your feet, though your gaze can be directed downward if that suits you. Thich Nhat Hanh encourages you to “Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.”
For formal walking meditation practice, you can slowly walk for 10 minutes in a clockwise direction, or else back and forth for 20 or so paces and then turn around. Keep your body relaxed and your eyes softly gazing down as you walk mindfully and feel your body. Begin and end the formal sessions with a brief period of sitting meditation practice.
If you are practicing walking meditation in a public space, there’s no need to walk slowly. You can practice when walking to the bus or metro, or casually walking in the park, or with your dog.
Try it for yourself with the following guided meditation.
Let’s begin in a seated posture. If you are at home it can be in the room where you will then walk, or if you are outside, perhaps on a park bench.
Sitting, rest for a few moments in stillness, eyes open in a downward gaze. Bring a light awareness to the sensations of your body, as you remain motionless.
Then, to establish your motivation, perhaps think:
I will practice mindfulness and awareness through walking meditation today so that I may be more fully present in all of my activities and able to benefit others.
Now return your awareness to the sensations of your body. You might notice a heaviness or lightness in the legs, or pressure or relaxation in ankles, knees and hips. Notice how your spine feels, and your shoulders, as you relax your face.
Then, very mindfully, noticing the sensations, slowly stand up. Pausing momentarily, notice the felt experience of your body in a standing position. Let your awareness hover on whatever sensations are the strongest.
Your hands can be at your side, or you might like to make a soft fist with your right hand and place it in the palm of your left hand and hold at your heart. Then, if you are in a public space, begin walking normally. If you are in your home or garden, walk slowly and deliberately in a clockwise direction or else back and forth.
As you move, feel the sensation of your feet and legs lifting through space. Notice the touching and sensations in your heel, mid-foot, and toes. Notice the transfer of weight, the balance forward and backward and side to side.
You don’t have to visualize or think about or name each body part as you feel it, just feel the tactile sensation. Hardness. Softness. Movement.
Touching, what is the feeling? Lifting, what is the feeling?
If your mind begins to think about something, no problem. When you recognize that, just release the thinking, relax, and come back to the feeling of your feet touching the ground.
Continue to walk slowly if you are indoors, or if you are in a public space, at a normal pace.
Feel the temperature of the air on your face and arms.
Feel the steadiness of the ground.
Feel the movement of your feet, knees and hips.
Touch the ever-changing present.
After some time, you may return to your original seat, and slowly sit down. If you are in a public space, perhaps return to a park bench or take a seat on a bus.
As you take your seat, relax deeply and feel the sensation of a still body. Feel your body as a composite whole. Just notice whatever sensations are presenting themselves to your awareness. Remain relaxed and attentive.
To conclude, let go of any mental effort to be mindful and simply rest for a few minutes.
For your dedication, perhaps you can think:
Whoever sees me, hears me, or contacts me, may I be able to benefit them in order to make a more peaceful and harmonious world.
Many of us have difficulty falling asleep, or wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep. I’ve talked to many people who have described various challenges with sleeping. A common reason for not being able to fall asleep is because of racing thoughts and an inability to stop chasing after them. Some individuals have told me about how, when they can’t fall asleep, they get frustrated with themselves and begin repetitive thought loops about why they can’t fall asleep, which has the effect of waking up the mind rather than letting it rest.
Some recent somnology studies have indicated that a daily mindfulness practice leads to better sleep patterns, including being able fall asleep, and stay asleep, more easily. Many individuals I have meditated with benefit from a short meditation right before they fall asleep.
I would warn you, however, that meditation—in the manner that we have approached it in this book—can have the effect of waking up the mind. When people ask me for advice on meditating in order to sleep better, the following is what I recommend.
First, the reason individuals are unable to fall asleep, or stay asleep, may be the various activities that they are involved in while they are awake. So, for example, we should consider what we eat, the amount we eat, when we eat it and how it affects us. Similarly we have to see how our exercise, or lack thereof, contributes to our sleep. We also have to assess honestly if the amount of time we spend on computer or smartphone screens brings about a calm state of mind or agitates and upsets us. There are a whole host of lifestyle questions into which we need to look. We must not think that meditation is a panacea. Our life is an interdependent one, and many different causes and conditions can be disrupting our sleep.
With that said, and having read many medical studies on the benefits that mindfulness and meditation practice have on sleep quality, I recommend a daily meditation practice of 20 minutes following the methods I present in this book.
As for what to do right before bed, here’s a suggestion:
Arrange yourself comfortably in bed, lying on your back under the blanket or duvet, with a pillow under your head, your arms at a 30-degree angle at your side with your palms facing up, your legs straight and your feet falling to the side.
Perhaps think:
May all beings everywhere find comfort, ease, and rest.
Then, to begin, feel your breath at your belly. Feel the inhalation and exhalation. And as you do so, allow your body to feel heavy.
Take a few full inhalations and relaxing exhalations, then, after a few rounds, let your breath return to its natural rhythm.
Allow your awareness to permeate your entire body. Feel your body relaxing more deeply with every out-breath.
Breathe out, releasing all thoughts and images and expectations, and then gently breathe in.
If your mind follows a thought, that’s not a problem. When you notice it, release the thinking, relax, and return very gently to the breath. You may have to do this a few times. No problem.
With every out-breath, release and relax.
Return to the natural rhythm of your breath. Settle into it. Let your breath be soft and smooth.
Be lightly present as you settle into progressively deeper states of ease and release.
After a short while, you may notice a velvety quality to your mind, a soft, hazy feeling. This indicates the beginning of the transition to sleep.
Let go of watching the breath, trying to relax, or exerting any effort at all. Remain still, or roll onto your right side, and fall asleep in a smooth transition.
At first, meditation is coming to know our mind through the effort-filled practicing of formal meditation sessions. As we progress, though, we will find that mindfulness, awareness, spaciousness, responsiveness and the other qualities that arise from our practice are not so much something that we do, but rather what we become. In other words, the fruition of our practice and the practice itself become one.
To help with this process, let me suggest two different occasions when you can begin to incorporate mindfulness, concentration, spacious awareness, and other meditative qualities into your daily life. They are when you are drinking tea or coffee, and when you are taking your meals.
Often when we are doing these activities, our attention is on anything but the beverage or food. Instead, we are talking to people, either directly or on the phone, or listening to the radio or a podcast or television, or thinking about the future or wandering in daydreams. How often have we finished our tea or eaten half our meal before we have actually tasted what we have been putting in our mouth?
What is the practice then for drinking and eating? As we saw with our walking meditation, it is to be fully and completely present with the totality of the experience.
Here are two brief meditation practices for drinking tea and eating.
With the warm beverage in front of you, take a moment to ground yourself by noticing how your body feels. Is there anticipation or settledness as you sit with your cup of tea? Is your body relaxed or tense? What is happening on your palate at the moment?
As you notice your present state, straighten your spine and relax your face, shoulders, and belly.
You might consider the innumerable beings who have contributed to this cup of tea and then think:
Through the energy and comfort I receive from this tea, may I radiate love and compassion to all beings.
Then turn your attention to the cup of tea in front of you. Notice the color and light on the cup and the tea. Watch the steam. Take in the array of visual stimulation that comes with the tea, and notice any reaction that may be stirred in your mind.
Taking the cup of tea in both hands, sense the warmth in your palms and smell the aroma in the front of your nose, the back of your throat, and your chest. Rest completely in the experience.
Finally, taste the tea, and feel the bursting of sensation on your tongue and through your mouth, the warmth descending as you swallow. Open completely to the experience of a sip of tea.
Setting the teacup down, leave all five of your senses wide open and experience the ever-changing flow of the present moment in its entirety.
Remember that Thich Nhat Hanh encourages us to:
Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world Earth revolves – slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future; live the actual moment. Only this moment is life.
Continue in this manner until you finish the cup of tea. Patiently savor every moment of drinking tea with your senses wide open.
After you have finished your tea, set the cup down in front of you and perhaps think:
May the vitality this cup of tea gives me be used to bring contentment to others in my family and my community.
You can incorporate the practice of mindfulness awareness into eating too. If you are with others, perhaps you can take the opportunity to eat a meal and share silence, which can be wonderful and provide a deep connection.
Whether you are along or with others, as you take your seat with a plate of food, generating gratitude, perhaps you can reflect:
There are an innumerable number of beings who have had some part in bringing this meal to me. May I repay their kindness in the world.
Then briefly turn your attention to your body. Sitting still, with a comfortably straight spine, rest your body completely, allowing your face, shoulders and belly to relax.
Turn your attention to the plate of food and notice the colors and shapes on the plate. It’s fine if the names of the food arise in your mind, but there’s no need to think about them, just observe the visual stimulation.
Perhaps move your face over the plate and take in the various aromas of the food. Notice what is happening within you as you do so. Is it eagerness? Is there any sense of urgency?
Mindfully moving your hands and grasping the utensil(s), take your first bite. Feel the complex textures in your mouth, the chewing action, and the sensations when you swallow the food.
Pause and feel again the experience in its entirety. Continue mindfully eating in this manner until you have finished.
At the conclusion of your meal, dedicate your efforts to the wellbeing of others.
To supplement your practice, you might write in your meditation journal how you think the Buddha, or Jesus, or other individuals of deep wisdom and compassion might have taken their tea and meals.