Chapter 20

Parsifal

When we reach my family’s estate, we get Thelia settled in my room upstairs. Sasel and the Captain take turns attending to her wounds. We can’t stay long, but we can let Thelia rest and heal for a little while.

I hover outside the door until I work up the nerve to ask how she’s doing. “I don’t know,” Sasel says. “She’s taken extensive internal damage. That monster carved her up.”

I remember the green elf’s wild, opaque eyes. Something had gone very wrong there.

I put a hand over my warm chest, which hasn’t returned to normal since I called for Four Halls to swallow Morgaun. We’re still coated in Magic, swimming in it. It crackles around me as I move out here in the regular world.

It could be the end of me, or the beginning.

Thelia

There’s a hole in me. Even as I travel through brightly-colored fever dreams, I know a piece of me has gone missing. When the nightmares finally grind to a finish and I float up to the surface, I don’t want to open my eyes. If I do, I acknowledge that I may never fight again—not to mention ride a horse. Or walk.

I’ll always have this hole in me where Sapphire should be.

Fingers run up and down my arm. I’m sure it’s Parsifal, reminding me he’s there with feather touches. It’s the kind of lover that he is—knowing that’s all it takes. I suppose I can face anything as long as Parsifal’s waiting.

When I open my eyes and the world drifts into focus, I find a face with a bushy mustache smiling down at me, pity wrinkling the corners of his eyes. “ . . . Red?” I ask, my voice a crackling whisper. There’s more silver in his hair than there used to be.

He leans forward and draws a lock of hair away from my face. “It’s so good to see you. I’ve missed you ever since I left Four Halls.”

I frown at him and it makes the dull ache in my side flare. I can tell my sense for pain has been numbed, probably by Magic. “But you left.” I sound so . . . emotionless. I was never angry at Red for leaving, only at Corene for saying what made him leave. But now it occurs to me: what kind of person would listen to her? Not someone I would choose now.

He lowers his head like a dog that’s been chastised. “I was going to ask you to marry me, until Corene said you were in love with Bayled.”

My mind, still foggy from sleep, struggles to take this in. The idea of marrying Bayled, of wanting nothing more than to be Queen of the Holy Kingdom, seems ridiculous now—the way a child imagines becoming a dragon or a cloud.

“Corene lied to you.”

The Baron sighs. “I know. I’m sorry I left. I didn’t want to.”

“It’s fine,” I say, and take the effort to pat his hand—hoping that if I make him feel good enough, he’ll go away. I want to go back to sleep and be left alone in my mourning.

“Thelia.” Red picks my hand up and rubs the back. It makes me itch. “You know how I feel about you. That hasn’t changed.”

Once upon a time, I liked this touch. Baron Durnhal’s still handsome and kind. But I pull my hand back. “Please,” Red says, his eyes boring into mine. “You’re hurt. You’ll need time to rest and recover. Come back to the Crimson Woods with me. Live in my home. Let Captain Tarkness take care of you.” He stops and turns his head away for a moment, like he’s trying to get back his courage. “There may be nothing left of the Holy Kingdom, and the title may be meaningless, but please—be my Baronness?”

It feels like the world’s tipping sideways. Soon the paintings and the tapestries and the furniture will start to slide across the floor, taking us with them, until we’re all falling into the ceiling. Once, this would’ve meant the world to me.

I shake my head. “No,” I say, leaving it at that single word. I look away as his face breaks apart. I won’t apologize for refusing a request that I made no indication of wanting.

“You’re right.” He stands up suddenly. “I believed the lie so easily. I never thought to simply ask you if it was true.”

I sigh. “There are so many wonderful people in the world who could make you happy. But it’s not me.”

He rubs his eyes with one hand. “I hope you don’t mind if I . . . leave. Right now. I’m just . . .” I nod and he walks out. I wonder if I’ll ever see him again, but I’m too tired to worry. Too tired to care about the barony I could’ve ruled, the castle I could’ve lived in. I never want to see a castle again as long as I live unless Sapphire and Parsifal are in it.

Parsifal

Bayled goes with me to see Thelia, and Corene insists she come along. We find Thelia staring at the ceiling, exhausted. When she describes her conversation with Red, I want to kiss her all over. She didn’t even attach an “I’m sorry” when she rejected him. I love her even more.

“So where do we go from here?” Bayled says, sitting on the other side of her bed.

“I’m not moving for a while.”

I look down at her, combing my fingers through her black hair. “We can’t stay at the mansion. We’ve only stayed this long so you can heal.”

She sighs. “Yeah. We can’t let them find us.”

“Sasel is returning with Red and his army back to the Crimson Woods,” Bayled says. “It sounds like you won’t be going that way.”

“All the more reason you should come with me!” Corene claps her hands together.

“Go where with you?” Bayled asks, his voice flat.

“To the Klissen, of course! Bayled, you and I will build a new Kingdom there.”

Thelia stares at her. “With the traitor?” She lets out a laugh. It clearly hurts her and she starts to cough. “The same cratertooth who sent a wizard to Four Halls to help the long ears take over? The same one who tried to have Bayled murdered?”

Corene’s eyes narrow. “It makes the most sense strategically, Theels. The Southerners are our best chance of restoring what we’ve lost.” She’s always had a contingency plan.

“And who says I want that?” Thelia shuts her eyes and sighs. “Please, just go. Your last hog-brained plan almost killed us all.”

“Well, I’m going to be Queen of the Holy Kingdom no matter what you do,” Corene says, getting off the bed.

“There’s nothing left to be queen of,” I tell her. “You’d rule over ghosts and broken stones.”

“And for that,” she snarls, her face transformed, “I will get my revenge.” She turns to Bayled, and her very eyes seem to cackle with energy. “This is your chance, Bayled, to be King.”

“I never wanted to be King, Corene,” Bayled says with a sigh. “If you knew me, you’d know that. I only wanted you.”

She scours each of us with her eyes. “Fine. Good luck trying to survive out there on your own.” She leaves the room, slamming the door closed behind her.

Bayled

I know Corene suffered, living the dark—but that doesn’t excuse what she’s become now. Maybe she’s always been this way. Maybe when we wanted the same thing, when we idolized being together, I chose not to see her for what she was: selfish, unmoored, desperately searching for herself.

“Never mind her,” Parsifal says impatiently. “What about us, Bayled? We only survived this long because we’ve stuck together. You and Thelia took down, what, four elves together?”

I’m aghast. “You were the one who convinced Four Halls to eat Morgaun whole! I’m the one who completely ruined your escape plan.” And got Harged killed.

Parsifal claps me on the back. “Nobody was calling you a master strategist, Bayled.”

Thelia covers her side as she laughs. “Percy, stop!”

“You’re as brave as either of us, though,” Parsival says. For the first time in our lives, he might actually respect me. “Definitely braver than I am when it comes to hitting people with pointy things. I know we haven’t always been the best of friends to you . . .” That’s an understatement. “But I think we’re better off together than apart.”

I take a deep breath and smile, just a little. “Well, in that case—what if we went north?” If we’re going to stick together, well, I’m going to commit. I need a team to play for.

“Go to the Northern Republic?” Thelia hmms. “But that’s so far. In the shape I’m in . . .”

“We’ll help you get there,” I say brightly. “We can do it together.” I had completely written off the Northern Republic, but in the end, maybe it really is my home. The Kingdom never wanted me anyway. I feel almost excited.

“And you’re fine with Corene leaving—?” Parsifal begins.

“Yes.” I inhale sharply, stuffing my anger back down. That’s a new feeling for me. “I’m done.”

“Finally,” Thelia says, rolling her eyes.

Parsifal takes her hand. “Then it’s settled. I’ll make sure you get there safe, Theels. Just think—a new life. It won’t matter where we’re from, or what we were, in the Republic.”

“We’d all just be normal citizens,” I say. “Rising or falling on our own merits.”

Her eyes close, and she lets out a relieved sigh. “Sounds nice.”