Mo Shines
Around six on the morning of December 1, nineteen-year-old Gina “Gigi” Lewis was awakened by the sound of feet storming through the apartment. She thought she was dreaming and turned over to go back to sleep, but the sound of a strange male voice yelling “New York Police Department” let her know that this was not a dream.
Bolting straight up in bed, she grabbed the sheet in fright, looking like a deer caught in headlights. She heard her sixteen-year-old cousin Andrew let out a loud “Oh shit” from the front room, right next to the apartment door.
As Gigi and her grandma scrambled out into the hallway, three police officers were quickly tackling Andrew to the floor. More cops poured into the apartment.
“Hands up! Hands up where I can see them!” one shouted as he grabbed Gigi’s grandma by the collar of her nightgown.
Gigi felt a cold metal object on the side of her right temple. The young narc pulled Gigi back into Grandma’s room by her white tee and cocked the hammer on his black .38 revolver, still holding it to her head. Her life seemed to flash in front of her eyes.
Grabbing Gigi by the hair, he turned her head and whispered in her ear, “One wrong move, I’ll blow your fucking top off.” She felt his dry, cracked lips scratch her skin.
The cop jerked Gigi’s arms violently behind her back and enclosed tight plastic flex cuffs around her wrists. Then he dragged her into the living room, where they already had Andrew and his grandma restrained with flex cuffs and on the floor. She looked at Andrew with terror in her dark brown eyes. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion.
Andrew mouthed, Don’t worry, as he watched Gigi fight back her tears.
Gigi nodded and turned her face. Her heart was pounding as if it would jump straight out of her chest. It broke her heart to see tears streaming down her grandma’s wrinkled face as the cop dropped Gigi down on the floor next to her.
Proceeding to ransack the old woman’s nice apartment, the cops flipped over mattresses, threw the dresser drawers on the floor, and tossed clothes everywhere.
“What the fuck is all that P.A.L. shit in the closets?” an angry officer yelled out, searching through the hallway closet.
Andrew replied sarcastically, “That’s my uncle’s shit. He’s a P.A.L. youth counselor.”
“Yeah, well, tell your uncle he’s a fucking thief.”
Andrew looked at him and said, “Whatever, man.”
Two cops went into Grandma’s bedroom to search it. Gigi heard them yelling.
“Oh … shit, oh … shit! What the fuck is that?”
“What do they feed that damn thing? That shit is as big as a small dog.”
Kitty the Siamese cat always jumped out from under the bed whenever the bedroom door opened. At first glance the cat’s glowing green eyes scared anybody who entered the dark room.
A tall, slim black uniformed cop remained in the living room with Gigi, Grandma, and Andrew, badgering them while the rest of the cops searched different areas throughout the apartment, repeatedly asking where the crack was.
Two detectives sporting suits and ties walked into the living room. The black one stared at the trio on the floor. The short, stocky white one turned his attention to the Christmas tree and the wrapped presents resting under it.
“Check the gifts,” the white detective ordered the black cop already in the living room.
The younger cop immediately jumped into action. Crossing the room, he knocked over the tree and sent red ornaments rolling across the living room floor.
“Why you fuckin’ wit’ our tree?” Andrew yelled.
“Shut your trap ’fore I stick my foot in it,” the black detective snapped, shifting all his weight onto one leg.
Realizing the detective wasn’t just making an idle threat, Andrew kept his lips zipped up.
The uniformed cop grabbed one of the gifts and was about to rip off the wrapping paper when, suddenly, one of the cops in the kitchen shouted, “Bingo! Bingo!”
Gigi’s heart sank as the other cops milling around the house cheered in jubilation. She looked over at Grandma, who just shook her head in despair. A young cop emerged from the kitchen, holding up two ceramic flour canisters he had found sitting on top of the fridge.
“Look what I found,” the cop gloated. His hands were covered in flour as he set the canisters down on the coffee table in full view of the other cops.
The bundles were partly visible underneath the flour. Removing them from the canisters, the cop smacked the flour off before bagging them into evidence.
The same two uniformed cops scared by the cat returned to the living room. “This was in the closet.” The tall white one lifted up both hands and showed everyone in the room the huge stash of crack bundles he had found. He had at least six Ziploc bags in each hand.
The skinny white one held up a thin white plastic bag. “There’s a little over twenty-seven thousand dollars cash in here—mostly tens and twenties.”
Gigi’s breath caught in her throat as she watched the cop confiscate the money Grandma had hustled so hard to save for her kidney transplant. The surgery had already been scheduled for January 4. Tears really started streaming down her face.
Grandma had recently been diagnosed with kidney disease, and she was undergoing dialysis three days a week, each session lasting at least three hours. Some days she was in so much pain, she didn’t even want to get out of bed, but she never let it stop her.
“Looks like the old lady’s doing better than a lot of us. Maybe we all should start slinging dope,” the white detective joked, causing all the other cops milling around the apartment to laugh.
“What you talking about?” Gigi yelled. “That ain’t drug money. My grandma doesn’t sell drugs.”
The cops just laughed as they continued searching the apartment. After finding a couple more thousand dollars and a few ounces of marijuana that Andrew had hidden in the closet, the officers finished their search.
The police led them out of the building, one after the other. Gigi and Grandma hung their heads while Andrew scanned the crowd of onlookers with a smile on his face, knowing the arrest earned him stripes in the hood.
Everyone in the neighborhood, including most of Grandma’s friends, watched as the cops led them to the paddy wagon that was parked in front of the building.
Deep in her heart, Gigi had known this day would eventually come, having seen it in a dream, but she constantly pushed it out of her mind.
As soon as the trio arrived at the 40th Precinct, the arresting officers quickly put the family into separate holding rooms to interrogate them individually. But someone had a change of heart before they started the questioning, because after a few minutes an officer escorted Gigi into the room where her grandma was being held.
Despite the seriousness of the situation, Gigi had to laugh to herself. These guys couldn’t be too bright interviewing them in the same room.
As she sat down, Gigi noticed her grandma didn’t look good at all. The older woman’s skin was clammy, and she seemed to be having a hard time breathing.
“Grandma, are you okay?” she asked, alarm filling her voice.
Her grandma nodded.
Gigi turned to the door, where the two detectives were just entering the room, and pleaded, “Please, we have to get her medicine. She’s sick…. She needs a kidney transplant. You gotta help her.”
The detectives ignored her and proceeded to question them. “My name’s Detective Goldson,” the white cop said before motioning toward the tall, dark-skinned guy, “and this is Detective Bettis. We’re with Narcotics.”
Pulling a chair out from the table, Goldson sat down directly across from Gigi’s grandma while his partner remained standing.
“You smoke?” he asked, removing a pack from the inside pocket of his suit jacket.
Grandma nodded.
The detective handed her a cigarette, held out a lighter, and flicked the flame. Grandma leaned forward and lit up; taking a long drag, she sat back.
He offered a cigarette to Gigi, but she refused. Lighting up a smoke of his own, the detective eyed the older woman sitting in front of him. “So who you selling crack for?” Detective Goldson asked, leaning in toward the table. “We know somebody’s supplying you. Tell us who you work for, and we’ll go easy on you.”
Gigi opened her mouth to speak, but before she could say anything, her grandma said, “The drugs no Gigi’s, and the drugs no mine.”
“According to our source, your grandson and granddaughter are selling,” the detective stated matter-of-factly, moving closer to the table. “But word is … they’re selling for you.”
Grandma raised her shaky hands palms up. “You can’t believe half of what you hear.”
“This has the Diaz brothers stamped all over it,” the black detective responded, crossing his muscular arms. “Give them up, and we’ll cut you and your family slack.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Grandma lied.
Both cops just stared at her for a moment. Finally one of them spoke up. “You sure that’s all you wanna tell us?”
Tapping her cigarette ash into the ashtray, Grandma nodded. Lola Lewis was not your typical grandmother. Fifty-five years old, she loved rocking the latest fashions, and she did whatever she needed to do to make sure her grandkids had the best that money could buy.
After questioning the older woman, the detectives left the room. Gigi started to speak, but her grandma quickly shook her head, indicating she should be quiet. She knew the cops kept the recorder running in the interrogation room in hopes of catching some idiot slipping.
Gigi sat there in silence, not believing how her grandma was taking up for her and Andrew. When she saw the other woman lean over on the table, trying to catch her breath, Gigi panicked again.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
Grandma didn’t say a word.
“Help,” Gigi yelled, running to the door and pounding on it. When the detectives finally returned a few minutes later, they noticed Ms. Lewis’s condition and had her escorted out of the room by another cop.
“Where you taking her?” Gigi asked, tears streaming down her face.
Neither detective bothered to respond as they led her back to the metal table in the center of the small room. Gigi stared out the window, which faced the street.
“So tell me, who does the crack belong to … your grandmother … Chico?” the white detective asked, his blue eyes searching her from the feet up.
Turning her attention to him, Gigi readjusted herself in the metal folding chair and then said, “What are you talking about? Grandma doesn’t sell drugs … and I didn’t know there was any in the house. I was just spending the night.”
The detective’s hardened eyes locked with hers. Undeterred, Gigi didn’t give him the satisfaction of looking away. Her stare only grew firmer.
“You’re lying. You live in that apartment. We’ve been watching you come and go for months. We’ve been watching your grandma, too. Word on the street is Grandma’s making crazy dough.”
“Fuck what the street say. I know that shit ain’t Grandma’s. First of all, she’s not stupid enough to sell drugs. If she knew drugs were in the house, she would’ve thrown them out. Second, she’s too old. With her bad kidneys, she can barely get outta bed some days.”
Before they could respond, another officer came into the room and whispered something to one of the detectives. He looked at the officer in disgust before turning to Gigi. “Your cousin has admitted to everything. You’re free to go.”
Gigi wasn’t one bit surprised. Little did the detectives know the three family members had set a pact when Grandma first started selling crack: if the apartment ever got raided, Andrew would take the blame for the drugs since he lived with Grandma.
Being a minor, Andrew faced minimum jail time, if any, for his first offense. Grandma, on the other hand, was much too old and sickly to do any time, and Gigi was the pride and joy of the family, with her entire life ahead of her.
“Can I see my grandma?” she asked.
“Sure,” he said. “They just took her to the hospital. You better hurry. She didn’t look too good.”
* * *
By the time Gigi arrived at the emergency room, her grandma had already been seen by the doctors and was feeling much better. She looked over and smiled as Gigi entered the room.
“Grandma, are you okay?” she asked, hurrying over to hug the woman.
“I’m fine. I’m fine.”
“So they’re gonna let you go home with me?” Gigi asked excitedly, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
Grandma shook her head. “They’re keeping me overnight for observation.”
Growing quiet, Gigi looked around, taking in the new environment.
Grandma patted her on the thigh reassuringly. “Stop worrying,” she said. “I’ll be outta here by tomorrow afternoon.”
“I’m not leaving you here all alone.” A part of Gigi felt reassured, but another part of her did not want to leave Grandma in the hospital by herself.
“Nonsense,” Grandma replied. “I’ll be fine. When you leave here, get some rest.”
“I should be telling you that.”
They stopped talking long enough for the nurse who had entered the room to check the various machines hooked up to Ms. Lewis. As soon as the white woman left, Gigi and Grandma resumed their conversation.
“What a curse it is to be poor.” She sighed as she looked deep into Gigi’s brown eyes.
Gigi stared back with a confused expression. “Grandma, we’re far from poor.”
“I’m sorry for getting you and Andrew mixed up in this mess. This no kinda life to live. I want a better tomorrow for y’all. That’s why you have to stay in school, get your degree. I want you to be better than me.”
“I know you want the best for me, Grandma,” Gigi replied. “I’m gonna be all I can be, trust me. But for now I’m gonna hold you down. That’s all there is to it.”
At that moment Gigi’s mother, Carmen, walked in, followed by her aunt Maria and uncle Tito. With her head held high, Carmen looked sharp in her formfitting business suit. She shot Gigi a stare that let her know Carmen was upset.
Laid back as ever, Uncle Tito planted a kiss on Gigi’s cheek. Sporting a five o’clock shadow, he was in need of a shave. “Hey, Ma,” he said, leaning in to kiss his mother. “You looking good.”
Too busy chasing high after high to care, Maria looked like she didn’t want to be there.
“Where’s Lulu?” Gigi asked, wondering where her younger sister could be.
“At work,” Carmen answered. “I tried to reach her but couldn’t get through.”
They all crowded around the older woman’s bed, making sure she was all right. After all the niceties were out of the way and Carmen realized her mother was fine, she let Grandma and Gigi have it about the drug arrest.
“Gigi, I told you before to move back home with me,” Carmen said, “but you wanted to stay with Grandma. Now you’ll have a record trailing you the rest of your life. You’re so much better than that.”
Gigi had already known her mother would fly through the roof once she’d heard the news and was well prepared for her nagging. That was Carmen. It didn’t matter that Grandma was sick, Carmen had to speak her mind.
“From the beginning I was against Grandma selling drugs outta the apartment,” Carmen continued with her rant.
Andrew’s mother, Maria, was in and out of jail so often she wasn’t too concerned about his arrest.
“Would you listen to Princess Di,” Maria snapped, shooting Carmen a nasty look, “the walking contradiction.”
Carmen turned around to glare at her younger sister. “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked, hands on her wide hips.
“You talking holier than thou, but your man’s a mule for the Colombians,” Maria replied. “What? You thought nobody knew, bitch?”
Even though Carmen didn’t approve of Grandma selling drugs, Carmen’s boyfriend, Guido, smuggled drugs from Colombia to the United States on commercial flights.
“Mind your business, you crackhead bitch,” Carmen shouted.
“Fuck you!” “Not here,” Uncle Tito said, stepping between his two sisters. “Have some respect for Ma.”
Both women seemed to hate each other. Maria envied her older sister because Carmen had her shit together, holding down a decent-paying job as a secretary.
Thanks to the loud argument, one of the nurses on duty politely asked the family to leave. Everyone said good-bye and left the older woman to her much-needed rest.
The next afternoon Ms. Lewis was back at home, going about her business like nothing had happened. Unfortunately for Andrew, he didn’t get out of jail for another two days. When he did get released, he headed right back out on the block that same night, trying to knock off a bundle.
Gigi hated to admit it, but her grandma’s decision to hustle had had a big impact on Andrew, and he took to hustling with a passion, even though she was against it.
When Gigi’s alarm sounded at eight o’clock, she woke up and hopped out of bed, more excited than if it was Christmas Day. Three days had passed since the raid, and the family was getting on with life.
After taking a quick shower and throwing on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, Gigi headed down the long hallway, where she found Grandma in the kitchen making a hot breakfast.
“Good morning, Grandma,” she said, kissing her on the cheek. Not only did her grandkids call her Grandma, so did everybody else on the block.
“Hey, baby,” Grandma said, giving her a bright smile. “You ready to go shopping?”
Gigi couldn’t help but laugh. “Why you messing with me?” she said. “You know the cops took all our money.”
“I know … I know,” Grandma said, her Spanglish accent coming through, “but I still got my disability check. Hurry up … eat. You gonna need your energy.”
Grandma hadn’t worked since being diagnosed with kidney disease at the age of fifty. She depended on the disability check she received every month, but she knew how to stretch the money. Even after her own kids were all grown, she helped raise Gigi and Andrew.
“I don’t want you wasting money buying me clothes.”
“Hush,” Grandma said. “No argue with a sick old lady.” She was determined to make sure her grandkids got everything they wanted for Christmas.
Gigi grinned as she sat down to pancakes, sausages, and eggs. She had already taken a few bites when she looked at her grandmother. Despite the smile the older woman always wore, Gigi realized she wasn’t looking too good.
“How you feeling today?” Gigi asked.
“I’m fine,” Grandma said, settling down to a plate of wheat toast and tea.
Gigi stared at the food. “That’s all you’re eating?” she asked, knowing something was definitely wrong. “Grandma, you know I understand if you don’t wanna go shopping today.”
Before she could even get the words out, her grandmother was shaking her head. “We’re going,” she said. “I been waiting weeks for this.” She reached over and stole a piece of bacon off Gigi’s plate and popped it in her mouth, making a show of chewing it.
“You sure?” Gigi asked worriedly.
“Hurry up,” her grandma said, ignoring her question.
Gigi finished eating, all the while keeping an eye on Grandma, who seemed to feel better after she had eaten. Once the dishes were washed, they bundled up and were just about to head out the door when Andrew came out of his bedroom.
“Where you two headed?” he asked sleepily.
Gigi tried not to groan. She was looking forward to spending the day alone with Grandma, but she knew if Andrew decided he wanted to come, her grandmother wouldn’t stop him.
“Out,” she said with an attitude.
Andrew didn’t bother to ask any more questions. “See ya,” he said, heading toward the kitchen, where Grandma had left him a plate in the microwave.
“Andrew, don’t get in any trouble,” Grandma said.
Smirking, Andrew didn’t bother to respond.
By the time they made it to the shopping strip on Third Avenue in the Bronx, the streets were already bustling with people headed to work. Gigi took in all the activity and the Christmas decorations and smiled. She loved this time of year. She looked over at Grandma, whose thin arm was wrapped around hers, and patted her gloved hand.
“Where to?” she asked.
Grandma pointed to a clothing store, and they headed inside.
They spent hours trying on clothes and buying so much that Gigi knew they would have to catch a cab back to the block. They bought gifts for the entire family: Andrew; her younger sister, Lulu; her mother, Carmen; and Andrew’s mother, Maria.
By the time they were done, Gigi was exhausted, and although Grandma looked exhausted, too, Gigi had never seen her look happier.
People were getting off work as they were headed home, so it took them a while to catch a cab. They finally decided to stop at a bodega, where they both ordered hot chocolate.
“So you got everything you wanted?” Grandma asked after taking a sip.
Gigi grabbed a napkin from the dispenser and wiped whipped cream off Grandma’s upper lip.
“Yep,” she said.
“What about your tuition?” Grandma asked, looking down as she stomped snow off one of her Timberland boots. “How do you plan to pay it?”
“With the money from my job,” Gigi said, shrugging as she took another sip of her hot chocolate. “The school lets me make deferred payments.”
“I’ll get the money for your tuition,” Grandma insisted.
Gigi knew that if her grandmother said it, it was just as good as done. She felt bad because her grandma always put them first. “But what about your operation?” she asked.
Grandma just smiled, patting her hand. “Now, baby, you just let me worry about that,” she said.
Gigi sighed. Grandma did everything possible to make sure her family was all right. Still, Gigi couldn’t help but feel guilty.
“What you want for Christmas, Grandma?” she asked as she gathered their bags so they could catch a cab.
“I just wanna see both y’all happy,” she said simply.
Gigi smiled. “Come on,” she said. “There’s gotta be something.”
Grandma thought for a minute. “It would be nice to get these old kidneys fixed,” she admitted.
Gigi felt like crying. Her grandmother never complained about her condition, and to hear her admit that she was bothered by it made Gigi more determined than ever to find a way to get Grandma the one thing she wanted for Christmas.
* * *
Back on the block, residents braved the cold weather even though over two inches of snow had fallen earlier. The freezing wind carried with it the rotten stench from the garbage bags piled at the curb in front of the six-story tenement building.
Sporting a bubble North Face jacket, Andrew chilled in the lobby, awaiting the night rush. He watched as a cab dropped Grandma and Gigi off in front of the building.
Two pimped-out BMW 525s, one red, one black, pulled up. The Diaz brothers hopped out like they owned the block. Though they didn’t hold the deed, in the drug game, 141st Street was their prized possession. Their deadly crew had the area on lock. Chico was the head, and naturally Joe fell second in command. Everybody on the block stayed on point when the Diaz brothers came through.
Grandma knew the siblings well. She had babysat both brothers when they were toddlers. As a result, both men treated Grandma and her two grandkids as if they were family.
Tall, rail thin, with a baby face, Chico definitely didn’t look like the monster people knew him to be. Greeting them with a warm smile, Chico planted a kiss on Grandma’s cheek and tossed Gigi a nod. “Hey, ma.”
“Let me help you wit’ that, Grandma,” Chico insisted, taking the bags from Grandma’s hand. The trio disappeared into the building while Joe waited on the stoop, chatting it up with Andrew.
Upstairs in the apartment, Gigi watched as Chico followed Grandma into the bedroom and closed the door. A few minutes later, Chico emerged from the room, waved at Gigi, and left the apartment.
“He dropped off more bundles?” Gigi asked.
Grandma nodded. She had been working for the Diaz brothers for the last five months.
Gigi could remember the day Grandma first told her she needed to have surgery. Soon after, Gigi noticed things started to change. Grandma seemed to have way too much money. At first she told Gigi she had gotten an increase in her disability check.
Gigi also noticed Chico and Joe had started stopping by more frequently than ever before, and they always went into Grandma’s room and closed the door. And right around that time, fiends from the neighborhood started popping up at the apartment looking for Grandma. Gigi knew the disability story wasn’t adding up. Grandma was definitely hiding something.
The more Gigi questioned her grandmother about the strange visits, the more evasive Grandma became. Finally one day she broke down and told Gigi what Gigi had already figured out: Grandma was selling crack for the Diaz brothers. With Medicare covering only half the cost of the operation, Grandma had approached the two brothers about working for them, and they’d accepted her with open arms.
* * *
The next evening Gigi arrived home from work to find she had the house to herself. Figuring Grandma was still out for her dialysis treatment and her cousin Andrew was running the streets, she decided to give her new boyfriend, Mel, a call.
“Hey, papi,” she said the minute he picked up.
“What up, ma?” he asked.
“Just thinking about you. I thought I’d call to see what you’re up to. I miss you,” she said.
Final exams were the next week, and Gigi had spent the last few days studying.
“You wanna get together tonight?” Mel asked.
“That sounds good,” she said, realizing she needed a break. “You want me to come over to your place?”
“Most definitely,” Mel said in his deep, sexy voice, and Gigi felt a tingle go down her spine. “I’ll come scoop you.”
“Don’t be speeding,” she said. “You already have more than enough tickets.”
Mel laughed. “See you in a minute,” he said before hanging up.
Gigi was just about to change clothes when the phone rang. Sighing, she went to answer it and tried not to groan when she heard the familiar greeting: “You have a call from a prison inmate, Rasheed Hall. To accept the charges, press one….”
Gigi reluctantly accepted the call and settled on the sofa. She hadn’t talked to her ex in a while. He was a drug dealer who had been sentenced to forty-five years in prison for murdering a set of twins, and she realized she hadn’t missed him.
“Hey, mami,” Rasheed greeted.
“Hey,” she said drily, studying her nails before she grabbed the television remote and began flipping through the channels.
“You miss me?” he asked.
“Why you always ask me that?” she said, avoiding the question. He laughed. “Yo, ma, I just wanted to check on you … make sure you didn’t need anything. You all right?”
“I’m fine,” she said.
“My boy, Big Ben, tell me you’re still refusing the love I’m sending you,” he said.
“Yes,” she said, being as vague as he was about the money he sent her.
Although he was in jail, he was still making as much as he had when he was out, if not more.
“You need anything, let me know,” he said.
“I gotta go,” she said suddenly, realizing she had no desire to talk to him.
“Wait,” he screamed before she hung up.
She put the phone back to her ear. “What?” she said.
“When you coming to see me?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “Now isn’t a good time. I’m getting ready for finals, and you know the holidays are coming up.”
“Can’t you come this week? My cousin has a package for me, and she can’t bring it because the doctor put her on bed rest.”
“Get someone else to do it,” she said.
“Gigi, can you do this one thing for me?” he pleaded.
She sighed, mentally kicking herself for agreeing to what he was asking. She couldn’t believe that he still had that effect on her after being in prison for almost three years.
“I’ll come after the holiday,” she said.
“No, I need you to come this week,” he insisted.
“Can’t she mail it?” she asked.
“No, it’s too important. Just do me this one favor. I promise I won’t ask you for anything else,” he said.
She snorted, knowing that wasn’t true.
“I’ll see what I can do,” she said before hanging up.
After relaxing for a little while, Gigi decided to fix dinner since she knew Grandma would be tired after her dialysis treatment. Just as she got the food started, her cousin Andrew walked in.
“What’s up?” he said, heading straight to the refrigerator. He grabbed a forty and took a huge swallow before turning to her.
“Hey, Andrew,” she said, getting up to check the steaks.
“Where’s Grandma?” he asked.
“She had dialysis today,” Gigi said, flipping the sizzling meat. Sometimes she went with Grandma to keep her company, but Grandma preferred for her to stay home and keep the sales rolling in.
Andrew didn’t respond. He had never said it, but Gigi knew he couldn’t stand to see their grandmother in pain.
As Grandma grew sicker, reluctantly she started depending on Gigi and Andrew to hold her down whenever she was too tired to serve the fiends. She made them promise they would never sell drugs outside of the apartment and for no one else but her. Gigi took pride in helping her grandma.
Suddenly, someone knocked on the apartment door. At six-thirty in the evening Gigi figured it had to be a crackhead. Throughout the day and night a steady flow of fiends came through. Most were straight-up junkies; others were truckers and blue-collar workers.
Gigi loved the truck drivers because they were more likely to buy one or more bundles in a single transaction. Sometimes they copped the entire stash, leaving Grandma sold out for the night.
Gigi made a beeline for the closet in Grandma’s room. She grabbed an open bundle from the stash and hightailed it to the front door.
Removing a .45 from his waistband, Andrew followed Gigi. He always held her down during transactions. Positioning himself behind the door, Andrew racked the slide, ready to blast if anything jumped off. Then he signaled Gigi to open up.
Clutching a wrinkled twenty-dollar bill, a Hispanic fiend stuck his bony hand through the crack in the door.
“One or two?” Gigi asked. The price of each crack vial was ten dollars.
“Two … let me get two.”
Gigi dropped two white-top vials into the fiend’s open palm and shut the door, locking both dead bolts.
Thank God nothing ever pops off, Gigi thought as she watched her cousin kiss the barrel. Andrew’s way too trigger happy. Thanks to the Diaz brothers, Grandma had the building on lock. They put word out on the block that no one but Grandma and her grandkids could move work out of the building.
“Have you thought about what you’re getting Grandma for Christmas?” she asked as they returned to the kitchen.
Andrew shrugged and took another sip of his drink. “Nah,” he said nonchalantly.
Gigi threw down the fork she was using to turn the meat and stared at him. “How can you be so selfish?” she asked. “Grandma went out and spent hundreds—maybe thousands—of dollars on you for Christmas, and you haven’t thought of one measly thing you can get her?”
“Yo, what’s your problem?” Andrew asked, looking at her like she was crazy.
Gigi sighed and took a seat at the table. “I’m sorry,” she finally said softly.
Andrew took a seat across from her. “What’s going on?” he asked.
Although they were cousins, Grandma had raised them both, so in a lot of ways they were closer than most brothers and sisters.
“Grandma told me the only thing she really wants for Christmas is new kidneys,” she said, finding herself near tears again.
“So we’ll make the money back,” Andrew said. It was the closest he had ever come to admitting that Grandma was sick.
“How?” Gigi asked. “How the hell we gonna make twenty-five thousand dollars in, like, three weeks?”
“I don’t care. I’ll make the money,” Andrew said, getting up from the table. He pulled up his jeans, which were sagging around his butt, tucked the gun on his waist, and headed toward the front door.
Gigi ran over to stop him. “What you gonna do?” she asked.
“I’ma get some paper,” he said, trying to step around her. “How?” she asked.
Andrew looked her in the eye. “Trust me, you don’t wanna know,” he said.
“You promised Grandma you were gonna stop robbing people, Andrew,” she said sharply.
“Yeah, whatever,” he said as the front door opened. Grandma walked in, looking tired, and Gigi hurried over to help her.
“How was dialysis, Grandma?” she asked, kissing her on the cheek before helping her out of her coat.
“It was fine, baby,” her grandma said, giving her a tight smile. Gigi helped her over to the sofa then went to get her a glass of water. When she came back, Andrew was gone, and she made a mental note to talk to him about his thieving ways. There had to be another way to help Grandma.
Gigi got dressed for her date with Mel, although she really wasn’t in the mood to go out.
By the time Gigi returned home the next morning from spending the night at Mel’s place, Grandma was still asleep, and it looked as though Andrew hadn’t been home.
After checking on Grandma, Gigi thought about going to bed, but she realized she wasn’t sleepy, so she studied instead. It was around nine o’clock in the morning when she finally heard Andrew come in. “Where have you been?” she asked before the front door could even close.
“Where you think?” he said, barely able to catch his breath. His round face was red and sweaty.
“What happened?” she asked.
“These dudes were chasing me,” he said.
“Why?” she asked, peeping out the window. “Get away from there,” Andrew yelled as he snatched her back. “Someone might see you.”
After they settled on the sofa, Gigi turned to him. “You know Grandma doesn’t like you stealing,” she said.
“Grandma’s the reason I’m doing what I do,” he said, removing a balled-up handkerchief from his baggy jeans. He opened it on the cushion, revealing three crack bundles.
“I stole it from some bitch-ass nigga’s stash two blocks over.” Gigi didn’t know what to say. While she didn’t agree with what Andrew was doing, she understood why he was doing it. His heart was in the right place. She was willing to do anything for Grandma, too.
As though reading her thoughts, Andrew turned to her. “This would be a lot easier if you helped me,” he said.
“Help you?” she repeated. “What … rob cats?”
“Nah, I ain’t talking ’bout that,” he said. “If we both hit the block and bump off them bundles, we’d make the money for Grandma’s kidney transplant twice as fast.”
Gigi realized Andrew made sense, but she didn’t like the idea of standing on a corner making drug sales. It was nerve-racking enough doing it from the comfort of Grandma’s apartment. Plus she had seen how badly things could turn out when her ex-boyfriend went to jail, and she had vowed never to put herself in that position.
“Do it for Grandma,” Andrew pleaded, knowing good and well Gigi would do anything for her.
Gigi sat thinking for a while. She thought about all Grandma had done for her and was still doing for her despite being sick. She tried to think of another way to get the money, but she couldn’t come up with anything else.
“Well, if we plan on making twenty-five grand, we need more work than that,” she said. “We gotta get our hands on some more white.”
“I’ma step to Chico.”
“There’s no way he’s gonna do it,” she said. “He know Grandma don’t want us hustling unless she approves of it. And you know she ain’t.”
“Quit tripping,” Andrew said. “It don’t hurt to ask.”
Thinking of a way to get their hands on the product they needed, Gigi’s ex popped into mind. Asking him was almost as bad as hustling. She sighed and turned to her cousin.
“Let me holla at Rasheed first,” she said. “If it doesn’t work out, then you can ask Chico.”
“A’ight … bet,” Andrew said.
* * *
Gigi got up really early on a cold Thursday morning and spent hours trying to sleep as she traveled to Attica. After making her way through security, Gigi waited anxiously in the drafty visitor’s area of the prison.
Not wanting to hear anyone’s mouth, she had lied and told Grandma and her boyfriend, Mel, that she had to work when she really had the day off. She shivered as she wondered why it was taking longer than usual for them to call Rasheed’s name. It had begun snowing hard a few minutes after she arrived, so she was ready to get her visit over with and get started on the long trip back home.
She still couldn’t believe she was asking her ex for his help. The thought of having to rely on Rasheed didn’t appeal to her, but she figured with her ex’s street connections, he would be able to get her what she needed.
Finally, Rasheed walked into the visiting room sporting a state-issued orange jumpsuit. Gigi noticed the angry expression on his face as he sat on the plastic chair facing her.
“What’s good?” Rasheed mumbled.
“What’s up wit’ you?” Gigi asked, adjusting her chair closer. Rasheed shrugged. “I keep hearing you too good for my money now.”
Although she and Rasheed weren’t together anymore, he still tried to look out for her. He had his people bring her money a few times a month, but she always refused to accept it. Since she lived with Grandma, her expenses were low, so the money she made from her part-time job took care of all her needs.
“I don’t need any handouts,” Gigi replied, leaning in closer, “but I do need a big favor.”
“What?” Rasheed snapped, annoyed she wasn’t there for the sole purpose of seeing him.
“I need you to hook me up with one of your connects.”
“Why?” Rasheed asked more out of curiosity than concern. “You wanna be a hustla all a sudden?”
Gigi shook her head. “This is serious. I gotta pay for Grandma’s kidney transplant,” she answered with a concerned expression. “She’s real sick.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Rasheed said, immediately changing his attitude. “Don’t worry. I’ll set it up for you.”
They talked a few more minutes before a corrections officer tapped Rasheed on the shoulder, advising him the visit was over. They hugged each other good-bye.
When Gigi got home late that night, Grandma was already sleeping soundly. She checked Andrew’s room and was surprised to find him holed up in there flipping through the TV channels.
“Hey,” she said.
“What’s up, Gigi?” he said, never taking his eyes off the TV screen.
“It’s done,” she said simply, as she stood in the doorway.
“What’s done?” he asked, finally looking at her.
She just stared at him a second before rolling her eyes. “Rasheed’s gonna hook it up.”
Andrew’s eyes got big as he realized what she was saying. He jumped off the bed, ran over to her, grabbed her by the hand, and dragged her into the room. “Yo, we about to get paid,” he said excitedly.
“Look, we only doing this for Grandma,” she insisted. “Once we make the money we need to pay for her transplant, we’re out. Agreed?”
Andrew nodded, but Gigi knew he wasn’t listening to her.
She got in his face. “Agreed?” she repeated.
He finally looked at her. “Whatever,” he said.
“Andrew, we aren’t gonna do anything stupid,” she warned. “I’m serious. No dumb shit. We just gonna make this paper. This ain’t about us. It’s about Grandma. Promise me we’re finished after Christmas.”
“Okay, Gigi,” he finally agreed.
* * *
Two weeks before Christmas, Rasheed made good on his promise. Gigi was headed to work one morning when Rasheed’s best friend, Big Ben, met her at the corner.
Without even bothering to greet her, Ben handed her a backpack and turned and walked in the other direction. Gigi knew what was inside and nervously looked up and down the street, wondering why he would do something so out in the open. After realizing she was alone on the street, she shouldered the backpack and headed back to the building.
“Back so soon?” Grandma asked, making her way down the hallway.
Gigi nodded, trying not to look guilty. “I forgot something.”
“It looks like you found something,” Grandma said, nodding at the backpack. “I didn’t see you leave with that.”
“Oh, I left it upstairs at my friend Tiffany’s apartment yesterday,” Gigi lied nervously.
Grandma looked at her suspiciously. “What did you forget?” she asked.
“Oh … uh, I hafta tell Andrew something,” she said, inching past Grandma and making her way to her cousin’s room. She didn’t look back, but she could feel Grandma’s eyes on her back.
Once she made it to her cousin’s room, she closed the door and leaned against it, trying to calm down. She hated lying to Grandma, but she knew the older woman wouldn’t approve of what she was doing.
Andrew was still asleep, so she shook him. It wasn’t until he sat up that she noticed the naked female lying next to him. “Get dressed. Meet me in my room,” she ordered, ignoring the girl.
It took Andrew a good five minutes to make it to her room, and by the time he did, Gigi had thought of several reasons why she shouldn’t do what she was about to do. Each time she would change her mind, as though led by some unseen force, her gaze would wander to Grandma’s picture, and she would think of all that Grandma had done for her. She couldn’t even begin to repay her, but she could try.
“What?” Andrew asked the minute he walked into the room.
“Where’s your friend?” she asked, not really caring.
“Gone,” he said.
Gigi went to the door and looked up and down the hall to make sure all was clear before coming back into the room and locking the door. She grabbed the backpack and emptied its contents on the bed.
Andrew’s eyes grew big as he examined the quarter brick of cocaine wrapped in cellophane.
“We need to flip all this in two weeks if we still wanna get all the money for Grandma. Remember, her surgery is January fourth. You down?”
Andrew nodded.
“Okay, then now I need you to show me how to cook this up. I have a hard enough time boiling water.” Even though she handled crack almost every day, she had never took part in the cooking process.
For the next two hours, Andrew explained more than she ever wanted to know about cooking up coke. After they were done, he took her to a friend’s house and began the laborious process of turning the cocaine into crack.
They agreed they would start selling the next morning. Gigi spent the night tossing and turning, trying to tell herself that what she was doing really wasn’t hurting anyone. By the time it was six A.M. she was still awake.
Andrew came bounding through her door at six-thirty, already dressed.
“What you doing up so early?” she asked.
“I’m trying to catch the morning rush,” he said, grinning. “It’s time to get paid.”
Gigi sighed. “I’m serious, Andrew. Once we reach the goal, we’re out. It’s bad enough we’re doing this when we promised Grandma we never would. I don’t wanna get in any trouble.”
“Whatever,” he said. “You coming? The fiends need their medicine before they go to work.”
Gigi reluctantly got dressed. By the time she made it down the hall, Andrew was sitting at the table while Grandma prepared him breakfast.
“Good morning,” she said, hoping the guilt over what she was about to do didn’t show on her face.
“Hey, baby,” Grandma said, smiling and giving her a kiss.
“Hey, Grandma. How you feeling today?” Gigi asked.
“Just fine,” Grandma said.
Something in her voice made Gigi look at her. Grandma looked a little pale, and she seemed tired.
“No, you’re not,” Gigi said, leading her over to a chair.
“I’ll be fine,” Grandma insisted, but Gigi ignored her as she went to finish preparing breakfast.
“Do you have a treatment today?” she asked. She immediately felt guilty at having to ask the question. There used to be a time when she knew Grandma’s dialysis schedule better than Grandma did, but the last week had been so crazy, she couldn’t remember.
Grandma nodded. “Do you think you could take me?” she asked.
Andrew’s eyes grew big. “Uh, she can’t take you today, Grandma,” he stuttered when he saw Gigi about to give in. “She promised me she was gonna help me with something.”
Gigi felt horrible. She knew that Grandma really wasn’t feeling well if she had even asked for Gigi’s help.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Can I call Access-a-Ride for you?”
“Thank you, baby,” Grandma said, leaning heavily in her chair.
She looked as though she was having trouble breathing, and Gigi hurried the few steps to her. “Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked.
Grandma just nodded.
Gigi threw Andrew a look. Hustling would have to wait. There was no way she was going to leave Grandma alone.
“I’ll take you,” she said, ignoring Andrew shaking his head.
Grandma smiled her thanks, and Gigi went back to the bedroom to grab her purse.
“You go on without me,” she said to Andrew as she helped Grandma into her coat. “I’ll get with you later.”
Andrew headed out the door without saying a word.
* * *
By the time Gigi made it home that afternoon she was depressed. After Grandma’s dialysis treatment, they had seen a doctor, and things were not looking good. Grandma definitely needed the kidney transplant. Gigi knew she had to do whatever it took to get the money.
After she made sure Grandma was comfortable, Gigi grabbed some product and headed out. She joined her cousin, who was now standing on the stoop. “Damn, it’s cold out here,” she said.
“You just came back outside, and you already bitching,” Andrew replied, sucking his teeth.
Gigi rolled her eyes at Andrew. “Why don’t you mind your business?”
Suddenly, gunshots rang out as a gunman chased a fleeing teenager into the middle of the street. The intended target was headed straight in Gigi and Andrew’s direction.
“Get down! Get down!” Andrew yelled as bullets went buzzing over their heads. They both ducked, quickly crawling into the lobby of the building.
From the vestibule, Gigi and Andrew watched in horror as a bullet slammed into the back of the slender teen’s back, sending him sprawling a few feet away from the stoop. The hooded gunman aimed the revolver at the teen’s head and shot him point-blank. His body jerked violently for a few seconds before going limp. A pool of blood ran along the sidewalk, spilling into the gutter.
Still in shock, Gigi knew from the blank look in the guy’s eyes that he was dead. Making matters worse, Gigi recognized both the killer and the victim. They had been her classmates in high school.
The responding officers pushed their way through the growing crowd gathered around the corpse.
Watching from the stoop, Gigi bowed her head, saying a silent prayer for his soul and asking God to forgive her for not coming forward as a witness because she wasn’t the snitch type. What happened on the block stayed on the block; Grandma had instilled that in Gigi.
Gigi was an eighties baby, raised in the South Bronx during the wild crack era. By the time she turned nineteen, Gigi had seen more drug dealing and bloodshed than most of the police officers working her neighborhood.
Now she realized selling on the block wasn’t as easy as it looked, but before long she got the hang of it, and, despite the murder, by the end of the night she had made close to a thousand dollars.
Although it was a decent amount, she knew it wasn’t nearly enough to help Grandma, so she decided she had to step up her game the next day.
Between school and her part-time job, Gigi barely had time to hustle, so she was relieved now that winter break had arrived and she could focus on making money at night. She thought about taking time off from her job in a local dentist’s office, but she didn’t want to arouse Grandma’s suspicion.
By the time Andrew made it in, she had fallen asleep, and when she got up the next morning, he was already gone—if he had come home at all.
Grandma looked much better the next day. Gigi made her some bacon and eggs and kept her company while she ate, all the while thinking of how she could make more money.
It had occurred to Gigi the night before that she was wasting her time trying to sell crack or coke in her Bronx neighborhood. The block was already saturated with hustlers. She had to go to where the big money was—Manhattan—but she didn’t know how she could get access to the people who had the kind of cash she needed.
She was so deep in thought it took her a second to notice the box wrapped in red paper Grandma had placed on her breakfast plate.
“Grandma, whose gift is that?” she asked curiously.
“I don’t know,” Grandma said, unable to contain her denture-filled smile.
“Yes, you do,” Gigi said excitedly. “Is it for me?”
“Open it and find out,” Grandma urged, looking just as excited. “Oh, my God, is this what I think it is, Grandma?” Gigi asked as she peered into the box. She had ripped the bow off and tore off the paper without waiting for her to answer.
Gigi’s face lit up as she spotted a shiny gold chain with a Lazarus medallion. Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked up at Grandma.
“Thank you,” she said, barely getting the words out as she started to choke up.
Gigi knew her grandmother understood just how much the Lazarus chain meant to her. Grandma was a God-fearing Catholic and had always taught Gigi that Saint Lazarus would protect her from all evil.
“You’re welcome,” Grandma answered. “Christmas came early.”
Every year Grandma surprised Gigi and Andrew with an early Christmas present, and every year Gigi was genuinely surprised.
Gigi gave her grandma a long bear hug, then gestured for help putting the chain on. Once it was on, she admired herself in the mirror. “It’s beautiful,” she said, gently stroking the chain. “Thank you, Grandma.”
“You’re welcome, baby.”
“Do you know how much I love you?” Gigi said suddenly.
“Sure do,” Grandma said, “but it’s still not as much as I love you. I’d do anything for my grandbabies.”
“And I’d do anything for you, Grandma,” Gigi said.
Grandma’s words gave Gigi the motivation to get on her grind, and at that moment an idea hit her.
A young white guy, Scott, from her accounting class worked down on Wall Street as a junior broker with a bunch of big spenders. According to him, his business associates worked hard and partied even harder, especially when it came to snorting coke.
Gigi found Scott’s number in her spiral notebook and gave him a call. She told Scott she had something for him but couldn’t talk about it over the phone. He invited her to stop by his office.
She made sure Grandma was settled, then she grabbed her backpack and headed out. As Gigi waited for the train, she wondered how many customers Scott would introduce her to. No matter what, she knew she had to make it happen.
The panoramic windows in the brokerage firm’s office gave a great view of Manhattan’s skyscraper-filled skyline. Entering Scott’s cubicle, Gigi noticed Scott appeared stressed out, even though it was barely eleven a.m. Only twenty-two years old, he looked more like thirty-two.
“You okay?” she asked, trying to appear concerned.
Scott looked at her strangely. “Why you ask?”
“Just noticed you seemed a little stressed,” she said.
“Shit … my performance rate has fallen short the last two months. Now, my boss is riding my ass. If I don’t turn things around quick, my job’s down the toilet.”
Gigi nodded understandingly. “It’ll work out.”
“Maybe,” he said. “I know you didn’t come all this way to play Dr. Phil.”
“Whatever.” Gigi chuckled.
Scott smiled slightly, motioning to a chair. “Take a load off. Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty.”
Gigi sat down.
“For you to be in the city and it ain’t even a school day, this must be important.”
“You know it,” Gigi said as she unzipped the backpack and pulled out a glassine bag filled with a gram of powdered cocaine. “I got coke for sale.”
Scott’s face, redder than a ripe tomato, suddenly brightened. “Well, why didn’t you just say so? What’s the damage?”
“For you … a hundred.”
He reached into his pocket, retrieved his wallet, and pulled out five crisp twenty-dollar bills, handing them to her. “This stuff good, right?” he asked.
“The best.”
“Okay, then let’s see what you’re working with,” he said, finally managing a full smile.
Gigi tossed him the glassine bag.
Scott tapped some coke onto a glass coaster resting on his desk and used a business card to cut up two lines. Using a rolled-up fifty he snorted a line. Welcoming the oncoming high, he tilted his head back for a few moments.
“Oh yeah, Gigi,” Scott said, straightening up. “Best believe I have quite a few friends that’d love to make your acquaintance. Unless you wanna introduce me straight to your connect.”
She gave him a small smile. “If I did that, you wouldn’t need me.”
Scott stood and stretched his arms. “Give me a few minutes while I see how many takers we have,” he said, before hurrying out of the cubicle.
Gigi breathed a sigh of relief. She had made her first sale, and it looked like a few more sales were on the way.
With Scott hooking her up with more customers, the rest of the day went pretty smoothly. By the time she made it home that evening, she had made almost three thousand dollars, and she had a bunch of business cards from various Wall Street brokers. She had a feeling she was going to get a lot of repeat business.
Apparently Wall Street stressed out a lot of its employees because in a week’s time Gigi had dozens of repeat customers, and after reupping twice she had managed to put away almost thirteen thousand dollars.
Andrew hadn’t been so lucky. He had managed to make only a thousand dollars, despite Gigi’s advice to move his business out of the Bronx. One night, in frustration, Gigi decided to accompany Andrew to see why he wasn’t making much money.
That night, Andrew headed out to one of his usual spots. He posted up on the corner of 141st Street and Saint Ann’s in front of the corner bodega, trying to knock off a bundle.
“Got that fire, mami,” Andrew said to a passing woman who looked like she could have been a fiend or a wino.
The woman looked interested and staggered over to him. “Yo, baby, give me another free hit,” she begged as though Gigi wasn’t there. “I’ll make you feel good again.”
Andrew looked embarrassed. “Not tonight,” he said, pushing her on down the street.
“So that’s why you haven’t been making money,” Gigi said angrily. “You’ve been giving the shit away?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Andrew said, gazing down the street.
“You gotta stay focused. We’re out here for Grandma.”
He offered a few more passersby product, and only one agreed.
After Gigi calmed down a little, she focused on the task at hand. “Have you sold any of the coke?” she asked.
Andrew shrugged. “A little,” he said. “It’s too hard to move. Fiends checking for that rock.”
Gigi popped him upside the head. “Have you lost your mind?” she asked. “The coke ain’t moving ’cause you’re pushing it to these junkies who can’t afford it. I told you you gotta hit Manhattan where them white folks at,” she said. “You claim to be a hustler, but you sure getting hustled. You’re probably giving away more product than you selling.”
Andrew looked at the ground guiltily.
“Did you forget we’re doing this for Grandma?”
Before he could respond, a shadow fell over them.
“Get yo’ faggot ass up off my corna, nigga,” a dark-skinned man in his early twenties demanded as he strode up to Andrew. A black do-rag covered his nappy afro, and the latest urban fashion hung off his medium-build frame.
“Fuck you, Rob,” Andrew shouted. “This ain’t yo corner, bitch!”
Without warning, Rob slugged Andrew in the mouth. The impact sent Andrew stumbling backward into the brick wall of the grocery store, which was the only thing that kept him from falling flat on his ass. Gigi stared in shock for a moment before she rushed over to aid her cousin.
Before she could check to see if he was okay, Andrew pushed her aside and pulled a knife out of his back pocket, flicked open the blade, and charged Rob, who tried to sidestep him. He still managed to plunge the blade halfway into Rob’s left thigh.
“Ahhhhh … shit,” Rob said, staring down at the blood trickling from the gaping hole in his pant leg. “Why the fuck you stab me, muthafucka?” He covered his wound with his hand, trying to stem the flow of blood.
Gigi grabbed her cousin’s arm.
Stepping between the trio, Chico seemed to pop up out of thin air.
“Both y’all niggas betta stop causin’ a scene on my block.” Chico pulled out a fifty-dollar bill and slid it into Rob’s free hand. “Go get that stitched up.”
“This shit ain’t over,” Rob warned, shooting Andrew a death stare.
Chico decided to send a warning of his own. “Don’t even think ’bout retaliating or you gonna deal wit’ me. You hear me, Rob?”
Rob nodded reluctantly.
“Now take yo’ ass to the hospital,” Chico ordered, staring Rob down. “And you better catch a bad case of amnesia when they ask you what happened.”
With his head hung low, Rob limped over to the curb and hailed the first gypsy cab to pass by. He climbed into the back-seat, still holding his wounded leg.
“That nigga’s getting his,” Andrew snapped, still clutching the knife tightly. “Watch.”
“Put that away. What’s wrong with you?” Chico asked, grabbing the knife from him and tossing it into the sewage drain on the corner.
“I didn’t come out looking for problems,” Andrew fumed. “That nigga put his hands on me. Tryin’ to put fear in my heart. Fuck that. I’ll stab his ass again.”
“Just chill,” Gigi demanded. “You too hardheaded.”
Chico added his two cents. “I’m telling you for yo’ own good, leave that shit alone.”
Andrew balled up both fists angrily. “Long as he don’t say shit, it’s all good.”
“You too hardheaded and ambitious,” Chico said. “I gotta keep my eye on you. Next thing you know you’ll be coming for my spot,” he said playfully. “Do Grandma even know you out here pumping?”
Andrew stared at the ground.
“Do she?” Chico asked forcefully.
“Nah.”
“A’ight, then take y’all asses upstairs.”
“Look, Chico, you know Grandma’s very sick,” Gigi blurted out. “When the cops raided the crib, they took the money she had saved for the surgery.”
“Damn. Why didn’t she tell me?” Chico replied, rubbing his chin.
“You know how she is.”
“How much the operation cost again?”
“Twenty-five thousand.”
Chico’s mouth seemed wired shut for a moment or two. “When she need it?”
“Before January fourth.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” Chico assured her before turning to Andrew. “I don’t wanna see you on this corner. Stick to that stoop of yours like a fly on shit.”
“Whatever,” Andrew snapped, as if he wasn’t frightened by Chico’s ruthless reputation.
“Never take my kindness for weakness. You family, and I’d never cause you no real harm,” Chico said, anger flashing in his eyes. “But I’ll slap fire out yo’ ass if you disrespect me again.”
Andrew had the good sense to look nervous. “My bad,” he said, before walking off with Gigi.
The week leading up to Christmas, Gigi worked harder than she had ever worked before. Although she knew Andrew was doing the best he could, she realized he was fine selling to the dope fiends on their block while she was determined to sell to a higher clientele.
Through sheer determination she had already managed to stack eighteen thousand dollars, thanks to the stockbrokers, which left them only seven grand shy of their goal.
With only three days left until Christmas Day, Gigi and Grandma lay sleeping one night when they were awakened by a gunshot in the apartment.
Not knowing what was happening in the living room, Gigi knew her cousin was in trouble because he was asleep on the couch when she last saw him. She dashed into Andrew’s room, searching for the gun her cousin kept hidden there.
Gigi heard the intruder bump into the wall as he ran past Andrew’s room toward the front door. The intruder yelled “Fuck, fuck!” as he struggled with the locks. Just as she found the gun under the mattress, she heard the apartment door slam into the wall as the man made his escape. She turned in time to see Andrew fly by. Clutching the .45 tightly, she quickly followed, ready to bust her gun if necessary.
The intruder hit the stairwell like a bat out of hell, almost tripping as he descended the staircase, two steps at a time. Andrew busted through the stairwell door just as the intruder reached the half landing. Raising a .380, Andrew let off two rounds that just missed their mark. The man barely dodged death as he dipped around the partition separating the lower staircase from the upper one.
Dashing out the building the intruder almost knocked over a fiend and leaped into a black sedan idling at the curb. The car squealed off before the intruder could shut the door.
Flying onto the stoop, Andrew took aim at the car disappearing down the street and unloaded the rest of the clip.
Hearing the wail of police sirens in the distance, Gigi knew it was just a matter of time before the cops pulled up. She grabbed Andrew by the shoulder.
“Let’s go,” she yelled, running back inside the building. “We gotta get rid of the drugs before the cops get here.”
As they reached the second-floor hallway, Grandma was standing halfway in the apartment doorway and halfway in the hall.
“Andrew, you bleeding!” she cried out when she spotted her grandson’s bloody head. Bloodstains soiled the right half of his shirt.
“I’m okay, Grandma,” Andrew assured her as Gigi spun around to look. “He just grazed me.”
“Thank God,” Grandma said, rubbing the rosary beads hanging around her neck.
Caught up in the moment, Gigi hadn’t realized her cousin had been hurt. “You sure you okay?” she asked.
“Yes,” Andrew replied, shoving her forward. “Let’s clear the house ’fore we all end up back in jail.”
As Andrew’s words sunk in, the trio rushed into the apartment and tossed all the drugs, money, and guns into two book bags.
Gigi grabbed both bags and hurried out of the apartment, running up one flight to her friend’s place. She pounded on the door, her leg shaking nervously as she waited. Finally she heard footsteps growing closer.
“Who is it?” a woman asked through the door.
“It’s me,” Gigi said, trying not to shout.
Gigi heard a series of latches being unlocked before the door swung open.
“What’s wrong, girl?” a slender female asked as Gigi rushed into the apartment. “Is everything okay? I thought I heard gunshots.”
Gigi didn’t answer until she reached the living room and made sure no one else was around. “Someone tried to rob us, Tiffany. My cousin got grazed, but he’s all right.”
“Oh shit,” Tiffany replied, dumbfounded.
“I need you to stash this,” Gigi said, dropping both book bags on the couch.
“What’s in the bags?”
“Trust me, you don’t wanna know,” Gigi replied, before turning on her heels and heading for the door. “I’ll be back for them later.”
No sooner than Gigi returned to the apartment, the police were ringing the bell. Answering the door, Gigi recognized the two detectives standing in the hallway with four uniformed cops. The same two detectives that had questioned her at the precinct the day Grandma’s apartment was raided. The two plainclothes narcs invited themselves inside.
Minutes later, EMS arrived and attended to Andrew’s wound in the living room while the detectives questioned Gigi and Grandma in the hallway.
“Way I figure, word must’ve leaked Grandma has large sums of cash and drugs stashed in the apartment,” the white detective said, staring at Grandma before turning his cold blue gaze on Gigi. “Why else would someone break in?”
“It definitely wasn’t for the fine art,” the black detective added.
“Grandma already told you, my cousin stopped selling drugs,” Gigi snapped, glaring right back at the white detective, showing no signs of fear. “Andrew almost died, and y’all treating us like the criminals. There ain’t no drugs in the house. You and your dumb-ass partner can look.”
The black detective’s nostrils flared as he spoke up.“You got such a fresh mouth for a young lady.”
“Damn right,” Gigi replied, rolling her eyes.
“I can’t help people who refuse to help themselves,” the white detective said, shaking his head in frustration as he glanced over at his angered partner. “Let’s get outta here.”
“Yeah, good idea,” Gigi said, as the two detectives made a bee-line for the staircase.
* * *
When the Diaz brothers found out about the home invasion, both drug dealers were livid. Chico and Joe couldn’t believe someone had had the balls to fuck with Grandma and her family.
Grandma pounded the coffee table with her fist. “Nobody fucks with my blood,” she said, through clenched teeth. “I want y’all to find that bastard and make him pay.”
“We got you,” Chico said, rubbing his palms together. “We gonna make an example outta this muthafucka.”
Joe cut in. “Only problem, we don’t have the slightest idea who the hell we looking for.”
“It’s only a matter of time before the ’hood starts talking,” Chico replied.
In Grandma’s bedroom, Gigi and Andrew had their ears pressed to the closed door, eavesdropping on the conversation taking place in the living room. They had never heard Grandma curse before. Matter of fact, they had never seen her lose her cool. But that night, they saw a side of Grandma they’d never expected.
On Christmas Eve, Gigi sat counting all the money she had made. She couldn’t believe she had actually managed to make close to twenty-eight thousand dollars in such a short time. She would be able to give Grandma just what she wanted for Christmas: a new life with new kidneys.
* * *
Christmas morning, Gigi got up and decided she just wanted to spend the holiday with her family in peace.
She smiled to herself as she turned off the hot shower and stepped out of the tub to dry herself off.
* * *
Up bright and early, Grandma was already busy cooking Christmas dinner. The aroma from the cooking food radiated throughout the apartment. All the noise Grandma was making in the kitchen finally woke up Andrew.
A few seconds later, he walked into the kitchen with his head still bandaged, rubbing his red eyes. “Mmmm … that shit smells good,” he said with a yawn. “I can’t wait to eat.”
“It does smell good,” Gigi said, as she joined them in the crowded kitchen. “Merry Christmas.”
Planting a kiss on Grandma’s cheek, she glanced at the pots and pans cooking on the stove and then greeted her cousin. “Morning, knucklehead. Merry Christmas to you, too.”
“By the time everyone gets here in a few hours, the food’ll be ready, and we can all eat,” Grandma said over her shoulder as she stirred the collard greens bubbling in one of the pots.
“Grandma, that’s still hours away. I’m starvin’,” Andrew said, rubbing his fat belly for emphasis.
Following her cousin’s lead, Gigi held her washboard stomach and added, “You ain’t the only one.”
Grandma laughed. “I knew you two would be hungry,” she said, reaching into the microwave and pulling out two plates overflowing with breakfast food. She placed one in front of each of her grandchildren then went back to bustling around the kitchen.
“Aren’t you going to eat?” Gigi asked, cutting into a sausage link.
“I’m not really hungry. I ate a little earlier,” she said.
“You’re feeling okay, right?” Gigi asked.
“I’m fine, baby. It’s Christmas Day. I couldn’t be better.” They spent the morning laughing and talking, and Gigi thought several times about giving Grandma her present before the family arrived. Now that she had the money, it occurred to her that Grandma would ask all kinds of questions about where she had gotten it, and she didn’t know how to explain it.
Finally, she decided that she wasn’t going to tell her grandma where she’d gotten the money, but she was going to insist she take it.
Later that afternoon, Gigi and Andrew were glued to the TV, playing one of his new PlayStation games, when the doorbell rang. Pausing the video game, Gigi glanced at the clock hanging on the living room wall. It was five minutes after two. She skipped down the hallway and opened the front door to find her mother and younger sister, Lulu, standing in the dim hallway. They had several containers of food and plenty of gifts sticking out of their bags.
“Merry Christmas,” they said, greeting Gigi in unison.
They exchanged hugs and kisses as she hustled them inside the apartment.
“Give me your coats,” Gigi said, holding out her hand.
“I’m ready to open my presents,” Lulu said, as she stepped past Gigi and then stopped to take off her North Face jacket. Lulu lived with their mother, Carmen, even though Gigi preferred to stay with Grandma. Carmen and her older daughter couldn’t get along. They butted heads because they shared the same type of temperament.
Sniffing the air, Carmen smiled at Gigi and added, “I’m ready to eat dinner.”
“Remember that we have to kiss under the mistletoe,” Gigi announced, motioning to the mistletoe hanging above the door frame. After kissing her sister and mother on the cheek, she skipped to the doorway of Andrew’s bedroom and tossed their coats onto the bed. “Who wants eggnog?”
“Dag, Gigi, calm down,” Lulu replied with a laugh. “We just walked in.” Heading into the living room, she placed the bag of gifts down and greeted everyone else.
Singing “Santa Baby,” Gigi happily passed out decorative Christmas mugs filled with eggnog. Just as she handed out the last cup, the doorbell rang again, and once again Gigi skipped down the hallway to answer it. This time it was Uncle Tito and his kids. Gigi greeted them with a jovial “Merry Christmas,” grabbed a camera from a side table, then snapped a picture, blinding them momentarily with the bright flash.
Gigi was the life of the party. She was already tipsy from drinking two glasses of Coquito, a mixed drink made of coconut and spiked with Puerto Rican rum. She happily handed out everybody’s presents and forced everyone to kiss under the mistletoe at some point during the evening, all the while snapping pictures.
Her boyfriend, Mel, stopped by. He couldn’t stay long because he had to have Christmas dinner with his mom and little brother. Before he left, Gigi dragged him to the mistletoe to give him a juicy kiss.
“You get your Christmas present later,” she whispered in his ear.
“Santa got a yule log for you, too,” he whispered in hers.
Ten minutes later, the entire family was seated around the dining room table enjoying the huge Christmas dinner Grandma had slaved over most of the day. The table was cluttered with all kinds of dishes—turkey, pernil, macaroni and cheese, apple pie, stuffing, chicken. Name it and Grandma had it on the table. Everyone was caught up in conversation, stacking their plates full of food. Grabbing the remote control, Gigi turned on the stereo in the living room to a station playing Christmas carols and raised the volume up high.
Slowly but surely the Christmas songs took the place of conversation as the family dug deeper into their meals. Every now and then a few of them stopped stuffing their mouths long enough to make light chat. For the next thirty minutes or so the family filled their bellies before each one slowly drifted away from the table into the living room, where they opened their gifts.
Gigi was so nervous about how Grandma would react to her present, she ignored the pile in front of her. When Grandma finally opened Gigi’s gift, she didn’t say a word. Tears filled her eyes as she read the note Gigi had attached.
“Something wrong, Grandma?” Lulu asked, seeing her grand-mother’s expression.
Grandma could only nod.
“What’d she get you?” Carmen asked curiously.
Grandma just stared at the box, shielding the contents from view and she softly whispered, “A second chance.”
She walked over to Gigi and hugged her tight. “Thank you, baby,” she said. “Thank you so much.”
“You’re welcome,” Gigi said, hugging her back, relieved she wasn’t upset about the gift. “You know there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
“And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you,” Grandma said.
She picked up a neatly wrapped box off Gigi’s pile and handed it to her. “Merry Christmas, baby,” she said.
Gigi shook the gift, trying to figure out what it might be. Finally, curiosity got the best of her, and she ripped the paper off and tore into the box. She frowned when she saw the red-and-white Santa hat.
“Thanks, Grandma,” she said, trying to act as if she really liked it.
Grandma didn’t say a word as Gigi pulled the hat out of the box and revealed a diamond tennis bracelet resting on a personal check. Gigi’s mouth fell open when she spotted the shiny piece of jewelry.
“Grandma, I love it!” she screamed. Jumping to her feet, she gave the older woman a big hug.
“You’re welcome, baby. Merry Christmas.” Grandma smiled triumphantly. “Now, try it on.”
After putting on the bracelet, Gigi shook her wrist beneath the light, watching the diamonds sparkle. Grandma’s gift had caught her by surprise.
Gigi picked up the check, written out for four thousand dollars, more than enough to cover her tuition, expenses, and books.
All she had been expecting was the Lazarus chain, but the expensive bracelet and tuition money surpassed all that.
By the time they finished opening presents, the entire family was caught up in the Christmas spirit. Grandma had really delivered on gifts for everyone. Uncle Tito and Carmen were dancing away to Spanish music without a care in the world, while the little kids played with one of the PlayStation 3s, although Grandma had bought one for each of them. Worn out by the long day, Grandma remained seated at the table, enjoying the moment.
The doorbell rang and Gigi answered it. Carmen’s boyfriend, Guido, stood there. “What’s up, Guido?” Gigi said as she motioned him in.
He strolled into the apartment with his usual swagger. He always sported a long leather trench coat with a button-down shirt and slacks underneath. Nobody would know by looking at the short, lanky Colombian with slicked-back hair that he smuggled cocaine into the United States for the cartels back home.
“Merry Christmas, Gigi,” he said, heading to the living room. “Hey, Ma, how you doing?”
“I’m okay. What about you?” Grandma asked.
“Can’t complain,” Guido replied. He always seemed to be in a good mood, thanks to his booming business, and he always showered Grandma with money and gifts. He treated her as if she were his own mother.
“I need to speak to you before you leave,” Grandma said, anxious to talk to him privately.
Happy to see her man, Carmen greeted Guido with a peck on the cheek before he had a chance to answer Grandma. “Merry Christmas, baby.”
“Hey, sexy. You look hot,” he replied, causing Carmen to blush.
“I hate to break up your little love connection, but I wanna talk to him in private,” Grandma said, getting to her feet. “Give us a few minutes.” She motioned for him to follow her to the bedroom.
* * *
The celebration finally died down around one a.m. Gigi kissed her younger sister and her mother, who were the last to leave, good-bye. She wished Grandma a Merry Christmas once more and sent her off to bed, then she cleaned up the mess her family had left behind.
It was almost three o’clock in the morning when Gigi finally made her way to bed. She was just drifting off when her cell phone vibrated. By now she had gotten used to the late-night phone calls and figured it was one of her customers. This time she didn’t answer the call. She had reached her goal. She smiled, realizing it was all over and she didn’t have to hustle anymore.
The expression on Grandma’s face when she had seen the money for the kidney transplant had been worth every moment Gigi spent hustling. She thought about the stash she still had left and tried to figure out how to get rid of it, but sleep overcame her.
The next day, Grandma began feeling ill to the point she could hardly get out of bed. Already weak and experiencing shortness of breath, Grandma’s heart palpitations had started up again.
“Grandma, I really think you should go to the hospital,” Gigi said. “I’ll keep you company.”
“No,” Grandma refused. “It’ll go away.”
For two days, Grandma lingered around the apartment in the same condition. Concerned about her health, Gigi and Andrew finally convinced Grandma to go to the hospital. Reluctantly, she agreed.
At the hospital doctors put Grandma through a battery of tests. A few hours later, the test results were back, and the news was grim. Wasting no time, the doctor admitted Grandma to the hospital.
“Her kidneys are failing fast, thanks to her poor diet,” the doctor informed Gigi and Carmen, who stood in the hallway outside of the older woman’s hospital room. “Not to mention, the disease has weakened all her major organs, including her heart.” He paused to look at the chart. “And I see here, she was already suffering from palpitations. She needs that transplant.”
“Will she get better after the operation?” Carmen asked, almost pleading.
The doctor shook his head. “I can’t make any guarantees,” he said.
“Why not?” Gigi asked.
“Her body could reject the new kidneys.”
“So she could die after the surgery?” Gigi asked.
The doctor frowned.
“I’m sorry, but there’s always a risk associated with this kind of surgery.”
“Isn’t there anything we can do?” Gigi asked, starting to grow hysterical. “I wanna speak to the fucking head of the hospital.”
Carmen did her best to calm down her emotional daughter. “No matter what, we have to remain positive.”
Gigi wanted to spend the night, but she and her mother agreed that Carmen would stay and Gigi would come back the next day to relieve her.
* * *
Later that same night, Chico’s black BMW rolled through the tollbooth headed to Randalls Island, a desolate strip nestled between three boroughs—the Bronx, Queens, and Manhattan. The place was frequented as a lover’s lane because of its remoteness.
Slowing down near a baseball field at the south end of the island, Chico pulled off the asphalt road and drove onto the snow-covered grass. He parked near a stand of trees.
Andrew was in the passenger seat and right away noticed Joe’s red BMW sitting a few feet away. He scanned the dark deserted park, noticing the huge trees lining the field were casting even darker shadows.
Fighting the bitter winds blowing across the open field, Chico pulled the knitted cap over his ears as he stepped out. He glanced at Andrew, who was already out the car. “Ready to earn yo’ stripes?”
“No doubt,” Andrew replied without hesitation.
Chico screwed a silencer onto the barrel of a .38 special and then passed it to Andrew. “Don’t use it ’til I say.”
Andrew was so busy eyeing the revolver, he didn’t bother to acknowledge him.
“You deaf?” Chico asked.
“Nah, I got you.”
About twenty feet from where they stood, to the right of the baseball field, was a small cinder-block structure. On the left side of the unit was the women’s bathroom and on the right side was the men’s.
When Chico and Andrew entered the dimly lit men’s room, Joe had Rob seated on the dirty toilet with one arm handcuffed to the metal drainpipe. Standing in front of the stall, Joe kept a watchful eye on him.
Seeing Chico, Rob’s blackened eyes widened, and a shudder racked his body. “Yo, Chico, w-wh-what the fuck’s going on?” he asked, his voice cracking in fear.
“Get a load of this nigga,” Chico said, looking at his younger brother, Joe. “Like he don’t know.” He turned his attention back to Rob. “The day you violated Grandma, you should’ve slit yo’ own wrist and saved me the time.”
“C-Ch-Chico, I swear to God, it wasn’t me,” Rob pleaded.
“You fucked up—told the wrong nigga yo’ business. Now it’s come back to bite you in the ass.”
Rob had made the mistake of telling one of his boys from the block about the foiled robbery attempt. That person had then ratted him out to get in good with Chico and Joe’s team.
“Looks like yo’ friends are worse than yo’ enemies,” Joe added.
“I-I-I know I fucked up, man,” Rob stuttered, “but let me make it right. Don’t kill me. I’ll make it right, Chico.”
“How you gonna make it right?” Chico asked, pointing to the gun-toting Andrew. “You shot poor little Andrew in the head. He’s blood to me.”
“You saw how he stabbed me. You would’ve done the same thing if you was in my shoes.”
“I told you to leave it alone,” Chico said, cutting off the pleading man, “but you didn’t heed my advice. Now you gotta suffer the consequences.”
Rob looked to Joe for help. “Come on, Joe. What about all the work I done put in? That shit don’t mean nothin’?” he pleaded, tears rolling off his chin.
“It means you should’ve known better,” Joe said. “When you violated Grandma, you violated us.”
“Andrew, put this nigga out his misery,” Chico said, giving the trigger-happy teen a nod.
Rob braced himself as Andrew stepped forward and pressed the silencer to his forehead.
“Please, man …” Rob managed to say before Andrew pulled the trigger. A small red flower-shaped hole blossomed right above his brow, leaving blood splatter on the stall’s dingy white tiles.
Chico spit on the slumped corpse. “Now that’s what I like to see,” he exclaimed, getting a rush from the bloodshed. “Straight to the point. No boring speeches and shit.”
* * *
Gigi and Andrew went to see Grandma the next day.
The large hospital bed seemed to swallow their grandmother as she rested. Grandma does look sick, Gigi thought as she studied the older woman closely. Her rosy cheeks and bright complexion were now pale. Gigi could tell her grandmother was in a lot of pain, but, no matter what, Grandma never complained. Forcing a smile, she just lay there, suffering in silence.
Gigi sat on the edge of the bed and leaned in to kiss her grandma’s sweaty forehead.
Grandma looked up at her grandkids with tender love in her eyes, and said, “I’m glad y’all are here.”
After a few minutes, Andrew excused himself, claiming he had to use the bathroom.
When he left the room, Grandma cupped Gigi’s hand in her own. “Gigi, I need you to do something for me. I want to see Andrew’s lawyer. I wanna make a statement,” Grandma said.
“Why?” Gigi asked.
“Don’t ask questions,” Grandma said. “Just do it. Please.” Gigi made the call, and Andrew’s lawyer dropped whatever he was doing and made it to the hospital within an hour.
“Now, you take this down,” Grandma said to the lawyer, pulling herself up to a sitting position. “I want to make it known that I was the one selling the crack. My grandson didn’t have nothing to do with it.”
Andrew inhaled sharply. “Grandma, I told you, you don’t have to do this. I already took the rap for it. It’s not like we haven’t been hustling anyway. How you think we got the money for your surgery.”
“Is that true, Gigi?”
Gigi nodded.
“My heart was right.” Grandma sighed, and she beckoned for Gigi to come over. After Gigi was settled on the bed, Grandma gave her a hug. “Didn’t I tell y’all not to sell drugs on your own?” she asked.
Gigi nodded. “We did it for you,” she said.
Grandma sighed. “Promise me you’ll never do it again. You’re a smart girl. I don’t want y’all to go down the same path I did. You can make something of yourself. Promise me you’ll do that. Both of you.”
“Okay,” Gigi said.
Andrew nodded reluctantly.
“I’ll need you to act as a witness to this statement,” the attorney said, turning to Gigi. Gigi nodded.
Grandma finished giving her statement, and when the lawyer left, Gigi looked at Grandma.
“You shouldn’t have done that, Grandma,” Gigi said, choking back her tears. “You’re gonna get better, and when you do, they’re gonna send you to jail.”
“Gigi, I can’t let Andrew end up in prison for my drugs,” Grandma said. “I was trying to make a better life for you and your cousin, not make it worse.”
“And you did,” Gigi replied. “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have money for college.”
Grandma shook her head. “What about Andrew? My poor baby’s facing time ’cause of me. I failed you both.”
“It’s okay, Grandma,” Andrew said. “You did what you had to do, just like I did what I had to do. Trust me, I’ll be okay.”
“When you get better, we’ll all put this behind us,” Gigi said, tears running down her cheeks.
“No, Gigi, I’m not getting better.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Promise me … when this is over, you’ll leave this crack shit alone and finish college,” Grandma said. “Promise me, you’ll live your life the right way. Don’t do what I did. I never wanted this for ya’ll. Look at me, cursed with this illness for all the wrong I’ve caused, at least when I’m gone, no one—in hell or on Earth—can ever say I didn’t keep food on our table.”
“I promise, Grandma. Believe me, I was only in the game to help you out. I know this ain’t the way.”
Suddenly, Andrew punched his fist into the wall. “Shut up!” he barked, fighting back tears.
“Calm down, Andrew,” Gigi demanded.
“Grandma’s coming home and shit’s gonna continue like it was. We gonna keep making this money!” Andrew shouted, before storming out the room.
Gigi knew this was the beginning of the end. She knew there was a chance Grandma would not survive after the operation.
“Andrew’s right. You’re gonna be fine,” Gigi assured her, struggling to believe her own words. Praying for the best, she hugged Grandma tightly.
* * *
Gigi lay in bed with Mel that night, and, long after he had fallen asleep, she thought about Grandma and all that the older woman had done for them. Grandma was right. They all deserved better. She vowed that she was going to finish school and get her life together, and take care of Andrew.
The next day, Gigi arrived at the hospital for her daily visit, carrying a beautiful bouquet of flowers and two huge Get Well balloons. Stepping out of the elevator, she headed down the long corridor toward her grandmother’s hospital room. She walked into the room and found Grandma’s bed empty. Taking a deep breath, she tried to stop her racing heart from beating so fast.
She must be getting her dialysis treatment, Gigi thought as she left the room and walked down to the nurse’s station.
Approaching the nurse seated there, Gigi rubbed her sweaty palms on her blue jeans and asked, “Is Lola Lewis being treated for dialysis? She’s not in her room.” Gigi bit her lip, impatiently awaiting the nurse’s reply.
“Are you a relative?” the nurse asked solemnly.
“I’m her granddaughter. Why?”
“Hold on just a second.”
Rolling back from the desk, the nurse wheeled around in her swivel chair and spoke to a doctor standing behind the station. The older man glanced up from the chart he had been examining and stared at Gigi over his thin-rimmed glasses with sorrow in his dark eyes. The grim expression on the doctor’s pale face said it all.
With tears rolling down her face, Gigi already knew what he was about to tell her before he said a word.
“Come with me, please,” the doctor said, nodding toward a spot off to the side where they could have more privacy.
Squinting, Gigi tried to stop the flow of tears. She tried to keep the doctor from speaking by tossing her hand up and turning her face away from him. Gripping the ribbon on the balloons tightly, Gigi braced herself for the bad news.
“I’m sorry, Miss Lewis, but your grandmother had a fatal heart attack. She expired early this morning. We tried to reach you—”
Unable to contain herself, Gigi dropped the flowers she was holding and collapsed on the floor sobbing. The balloons floated up to the ceiling. Deep wails racked her body as she curled up into a fetal position.
With solemn expressions on their faces, the doctor and a hospital orderly helped Gigi back to her feet. Waving away the orderly, the doctor let her cry on his shoulder. Gasping for air, Gigi was inconsolable as a continuous flow of tears fell from her face onto his white coat.
Finally finding the strength, she pulled away, her eyes red and teary, staring blankly at the doctor as he gave her his condolences.
“I’m sorry, dear. I wish there had been something I could have done.”
“Thank you,” Gigi managed as she turned to walk away.
Lost in a daze, Gigi trailed through the hallways, then stepped into an enclosed phone booth in the hospital’s main lobby. Pulling the glass door shut, she sat on the metal stool and wept hard again. The pain of losing Grandma was just too much to bear. She was doubled over, lost in her grief.
“Grandma, Grandma,” Gigi cried out repeatedly, knowing she would never see the older woman again. “What am I gonna do now?”
Gigi wished she could hear her grandmother’s loving voice one more time. Then the thought hit her, Grandma died without any family by her side. Gigi wished she had been there, holding Grandma’s hand when she took her last breath. The last thing she had wanted was for her grandmother to die alone.
After grieving a few more minutes, Gigi tried to regain her composure for the walk back to the train station. Grandma’s in a much better place, Gigi thought, pulling herself together.
Exiting the hospital, Gigi still didn’t know what she would do without Grandma. A car horn beeped, and she looked up to see Chico’s black BMW waiting at the curb.
“How’s Grandma?” Chico asked as she approached, then he saw the agony etched on her face. “Aww, don’t tell me.”
“She’s gone,” Gigi said.
Chico dropped his head into his palms. When he finally looked up again, tears were rolling down his cheeks. “I loved that woman. You know she was like a mother to me.”
Gigi nodded. “You gonna be okay?”
Chico grimaced. “I should be the one asking you that. But I know you’ll be all right. You’re strong. You know that, right?”
Gigi nodded.
He reached into the glove compartment, grabbed a manila envelope stuffed with something, and handed it to Gigi. “I know this can’t replace your loss, but I want you to have it.”
She glanced curiously at the package before opening it. To her surprise, it was filled with money, mostly fifties and hundreds. “I can’t take this.”
“Don’t talk crazy. That’s thirty grand. It was for Grandma’s transplant. I was on my way to give it to her. Now it’s yours. It’s the least I can do. If it wasn’t for Grandma, we’d probably still be in a drought.”
Gigi tucked the cash into the inside pocket of her Woolrich coat. “What you mean?”
“Our regular supplier got busted a few months back, and we needed a new connect. Grandma tried to hook us up with ya mother’s boyfriend, Guido, but he would only deal with Grandma, so she ended up supplying us.”
“Damn … so you were really working for Grandma?” Gigi asked.
“Well, I wouldn’t say that. But she was our new connect,” Chico said.
Shaking her head, Gigi couldn’t help but smile. “I’m always the last to find out.”
“I know this ain’t a good time, but now that Grandma’s dead, I’ma need you to holla at Guido for me when it’s time to reup.”
Gigi nodded. “I got you.”
“Hop in. I’ll give you a ride back to the block.”
“Nah, that’s all right. I need time to think. The train ride should do me some good.”
“A’ight … holla when you need me. I mean that,” Chico said, before pulling away from the sidewalk.
With tears still staining her cheeks, Gigi couldn’t help but smile as she fingered her Lazarus chain. Even in death, Grandma was making sure she was taken care of. She dried her tears and headed for her mother’s house to tell the rest of her family that Grandma was gone. Grandma had done everything for Gigi, and Gigi was going to do everything for her grandma, starting with never selling drugs again.