Katie insisted on greeting Lucas at the door, and all Ivy could do was watch as she peered up at him. “Hi, Daddy.”
Her voice lowered bashfully at the end and she stared down at her feet. She’d been too nervous to say it when he picked her up for the play date that morning, but she’d bolstered her nerves before his evening visit.
Lucas looked at Ivy, shock evident in his eyes. She held her breath and waited on his reaction. When his gaze landed on Katie again, it softened and a muscle in his jaw twitched.
“Hey, munchkin.” His voice sounded hoarse.
Instead of giving her the customary hug, he lifted her into his arms and pressed his nose into her neck. He held her like that for a long time, standing in the doorway of the condo with Katie’s arms wrapped tight around him.
Ivy’s throat constricted and she blinked away tears. She’d dreamed about her daughter having a solid, healthy relationship with her father, and she was happy he hadn’t held what she’d done against Katie and had embraced their relationship.
Lucas put down his daughter.
“You’re ready to go?” he asked Ivy, his voice oddly husky.
“Yes, I guess I’ll see you guys later.”
They switched places. Ivy stepped outside the door and Lucas and Katie hovered on the threshold.
“Have fun on your date,” Katie said. “We’ll be fine.”
“Date?” Lucas’s eyes flicked to her, and he visibly stiffened. “With a man?”
“Uh…yes, actually.” Why did she feel guilty all of a sudden, as if she’d done something wrong?
“Mr. Gil is taking Mommy on a date to the museum. Is he going to kiss you? Mwah, mwah.”
“Katie, that’s enough.” That edgy feeling overcame her again, and with the weight of Lucas’s stare on her, she felt distinctly uneasy. To Lucas, she said, “If you need me, I’ll have my cell phone. It’ll be on vibrate, so—”
“Got it,” Katie and Lucas said at the same time.
Katie pinched her father. “Jinx.”
“No, you’re a jinx.” He made to pinch her back, but she let out a high-pitched squeak and ran off.
“You better hide cause I’m coming to get you,” he called after her. He turned back to Ivy. “Have a good time with your friend,” he said, his tone derisive.
The change in attitude confused her a little. Why would he care that she was going out with a man when he had someone else in his life? She was the one living in the past, clutching onto memories.
She slipped her arms through the sleeves of her jacket. Coupled with a Chanel scarf doubled around her neck, the lightweight fabric was just heavy enough to keep her warm during the short walk to and from the museum.
“I’ll be back in a few hours.”
He had no reaction. She shot him another look, but his face revealed nothing, so she left, determined to have a good time.
“Would it be too presumptuous of me to ask you if I may come up?” Gil’s eyes crinkled into a smile at the corners. Black and Pakistani, his exotic features had served him well in his younger days when he’d modeled.
Ivy wanted to want to have sex with Gil. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t many times before, but she couldn’t muster the energy or desire as their evening wound down in the hotel lounge after they’d left the museum. They’d lingered over drinks while he made her laugh with his stories about his racially blended family in London and how they navigated the various holidays.
He then paid the tab and walked her to the bank of elevators. They stood off to the side, out of the way of others getting on and off.
“I have a daughter, Gil, you know that.”
“And I’ll never be allowed into the sanctuary of your condo so I can get to know her because I’m not the type of man you take seriously, am I right?”
They’d had this conversation before. Gil was a great lover, but he wanted to be serious. She preferred to keep the relationship casual, which meant he couldn’t be introduced to her daughter as anything more than a friend. And he definitely couldn’t spend the night.
“Gil…”
He tucked his hands into his pockets. “Not to worry, I won’t give you a hard time, although I am curious about one thing.”
“And that would be…?”
He studied her, weighing the question on his mind. “Why did you call me that night, a few months ago?” he asked.
“I told you, I changed my mind and wanted to go out.”
“I asked you out when I saw you at the park, but you turned me down, and then all of a sudden you called and wanted to go out. I found that a bit odd.”
“There’s nothing odd about it.”
He took a deep breath and stared at some point over her shoulder before he spoke again. “I care for you, Ivy. I’ve never made a secret of it. I understand that you don’t want me to become a familiar fixture in your daughter’s life—not unless we were serious, of course. It wouldn’t do, and I respect your feelings on the matter. But I won’t be used as a substitute for anyone. Do you understand?”
He’d seen through her feeble ruse to make herself feel better. “I didn’t mean to—”
“I know, and I’m not upset, love. Matter of fact, I’m ridiculously happy that of all the blokes you thought of to fill this position, you chose me. But, I know how I feel about you, and I know how I want you to feel about me, and this won’t work, you understand.”
Ivy nodded. “I do.” Remorse filled her.
He placed gentle hands on her arms. “You’re a lovely woman, and any man would be lucky to have you. My regret is that I’m not that man. I understood the situation when your husband was alive, but I simply can’t continue like this. I’m afraid I’m no longer willing to settle.”
Their relationship had started years ago, and while he’d filled a void in her life, he wanted more than she could give. She’d been unfair—selfish even—to call him when she knew how he felt about her.
He pulled her into a hug and pressed his lips to her temple in a prolonged kiss, his embrace warm and solid. She held onto him a little longer than she should have, accepting this was probably the last time she would touch him. He’d held a very special place in her life for a long time. He’d helped her through some lonely nights when she’d needed affection and had no one else to turn to. She would miss him.
“Take care, love,” he said. She watched him walk away and didn’t move until she could no longer see him.
When she entered the condo, the first thing she noticed was the quiet and the shadowy dimness of the rooms. Only the light in the kitchen over the counters was on. Then she inhaled the familiar scent of chocolate and peanut butter in the air.
Lucas lay on the lounge chair near the window. She imagined he must have fallen asleep like that after a night of crossword puzzles and pizza—based on the empty box on the living room table. In the kitchen she found a couple of sandwiches left on a plate, the crust cut off the way she liked. They were filled with the strange but delicious combination of chocolate, peanut butter, and banana. Lucas had named the sandwich “the princess,” after her.
She left the kitchen and peeked in on Katie before heading to her own bedroom where she tossed her jacket on the bed, removed her boots and tights, and slid her feet into a pair of comfy slippers. She shuffled quietly back out to the kitchen. Lucas was in the same spot, his eyes still closed.
She debated whether or not to wake him and then decided she’d eat one of the sandwiches first. As she picked one up, movement caught her eye. Her gaze collided with Lucas’s and she smiled tentatively.
He eased off the furniture and stretched. His muscles rolled under the ribbed, long-sleeve T-shirt he wore. He looked completely at ease, and she tried not to think about the fact that he looked right at home there, as if he belonged. “I’ll be right back,” he said. Seconds later, she heard the bathroom door shut.
By the time he came out, Ivy had poured herself a glass of red wine in a long-stemmed glass and had already downed half of one of the sandwiches.
“You didn’t waste any time,” he said with mild amusement.
“Uh-uh.” She had a mouthful of sandwich, so she couldn’t say much.
“You’re eating it cold?” he asked.
She swallowed. “Mhmm. It’s good this way, too. Not as good, but good enough.”
His gaze remained fixed on her, and she pretended not to notice, keeping her attention on the bread and then taking a sip of wine before setting the glass on the counter.
“How was your date?” he asked. She’d wondered if he would bring that up.
She paused in chewing, her senses on alert, and tried to figure out where the conversation was headed. She swallowed the last morsel. “I don’t know if we should be discussing this.” She stuck her thumb in her mouth and sucked off the remnants of chocolate.
“I’m just asking a question,” Lucas said. “Being friendly, like you said we’d be. Nothing wrong with that.”
She eyed him skeptically, still not sure where the conversation was headed and feeling a bit uneasy about it. “It was nice,” she said cautiously.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were going out with a man?”
“I guess I thought it would be weird.”
“Nothing weird about that. We’re adults, aren’t we?”
“Yes, we are.” Was he that indifferent to her? Was she the only one who felt the energy vibrating in the air between them?
“You have a good time with your friend at the museum?” he asked. He made the word ‘friend’ sound like a dirty word. His question didn’t sound at all like an innocent inquiry, but she went along with the conversation.
“I did. We saw the Romare Bearden exhibit.”
“I saw his work in Atlanta a couple of years ago. Did you like it?”
She relaxed into the conversation about the exhibit, a much safer topic. “Absolutely. Some of the collages were very striking. I even texted Cyrus. He’s an art collector, and he’s partial to African-American artists. He’d appreciate the work—assuming he doesn’t already have Bearden pieces in his collection.” She laughed. Knowing Cyrus, he probably did.
A muscle in his jaw moved. “You’re in a good mood—smiling a lot, so you must have had a good time.”
“I did.” On guard again, she kept her answer short on purpose. He was being pleasant enough, his tone neutral, but she couldn’t shake the uneasiness. He seemed to be watching her closely.
“It must have gotten hot outside.”
“Not in this weather.” She frowned. “Why do you say that?”
“You left with your jacket on, but then came back with it off. Must have gotten hot.” So he hadn’t been asleep.
“I took it off once we came back into the hotel. I didn’t need it anymore.” She swallowed, feeling almost like she was under an inquisition.
“What did you do afterward?” he asked.
The line of questioning wasn’t particularly intrusive. He was being quite casual about it, leaning against the counter and asking her about her date as if they really were two friends having a chat. Except they weren’t just two friends.
“We went for a short walk. Then we had drinks downstairs and talked for about an hour or so.”
“Planning to see him again?” This question wasn’t asked in the same offhand tone. It was more deliberate, and his face had hardened.
“Probably not.” Now would be a good time to cut him off. “But I don’t think my relationship with Gil is any of your business.”
“Actually, it is my business since you have him around my kid.” He crossed his arms over his massive chest and his muscles bulged under the cotton.
“He’s never been around Katie.” Where had this come from?
“She knows who he is. She knows he gave you flowers on your birthday.”
“Not that I owe you an explanation, but we were at Pike Place Market and ran into each other. I introduced him as a friend. We happened to be near a stand with organic flowers, and he bought a bunch for me because it was the weekend of my birthday.”
Lucas continued his relentless grilling. “How well do you know this man?”
“Where is this going?”
“You have to be careful. We have a little girl.”
He was back to that again. “Are you suggesting Gil would harm Katie? That’s preposterous.” She dismissed his comment with a flick of her hand.
“You can’t be too careful.”
“He’s a good man.”
“How would you know?”
She bristled, her back straightening. “I just do. I’ve known him for a long time—five years at least. He comes from a well-respected family. You’re overreacting.”
“I’ll never overreact where Katie’s concerned.” His voice had become even harder.
Ivy backed up. “This is completely unnecessary. I know Gil very well, so I assure you, you have nothing to worry about.”
“How well do you know him?”
“Well.”
“You fucking him?” There was no mistaking the inflection now. Harsh, abrasive.
“Wh-what?” She wondered how the conversation had gone downhill in such a spectacular manner.
“I mean, while we’re talking and being friendly, you can answer that, right? Friends can ask those kinds of questions and share information about what’s going on in each other’s love lives, can’t they?”
“It’s none of your business.”
He came closer, his body tense, his eyes boring into her. “You planning on it? Fucking him, I mean.”
She felt cornered and hot all of a sudden.
“You think you’re just going to punk me,” he continued, “got me sitting here babysitting while you run—”
“It’s not babysitting, she’s your daughter.”
“—around with other men—”
“Now wait a damn minute, you and I don’t have—”
“You think I’m going to let him come up in here and fuck you right under my nose? Like I’m some kind of chump? You think I’m going to allow that to happen again?”
She stared at him in disbelief. Again? What was he talking about? Anger flashed in the depths of his eyes. She’d never seen him so enraged.
“How can you even question me when you have a woman in Atlanta?” she demanded.
“She and I are done.” He said it with such finality she was taken aback.
“When did that happen?”
“About a month ago.”
“What about your other women?”
“There are no other women right now.” His answer surprised her. She’d envisioned him with legions of women that he switched between according to preference when the need arose.
“So tell me,” he said, his voice dropping a full octave, “you fucking him?”
He didn’t deserve an answer, but since he’d told his relationship status, she gave him one. “We had something once but not anymore.”
“Good,” he ground out. “Because if I ever catch that pretty motherfucker up in here, I’ll toss his ass out the goddamn window.” He’d dropped his voice almost to a whisper, but that didn’t negate the lethal threat in his statement.
Once again, his anger had come out of nowhere. But this time, she took a good look at him. It wasn’t only anger that contorted his face. She saw pain, too.