Two nights later, there was a knock on Jill’s bedroom door.
‘Come in,’ she called, frowning after a moment when no one appeared. If it was Lottie, Mrs Em or Tilda seeking to disturb her nightly jottings to Ronnie they would have entered. It had better not be Will come to pester her. He and Jonny had backed off, but until Jonny had left this morning, with his father, to stay at Tremore, sign language of the innuendo kind, plainly about her, had passed between them.
Yet she shouldn’t be wholly suspicious about Will. This morning he had joined her in the dairy, usually the women’s domain. He had kept his hands, as if innocently, behind his back. ‘Don’t worry. Tom, your new guardian’s not far away. Anyway, I’ve just popped in to ask you to come outside. I’ve pulled everyone together, including Faye, who’s here. I want to take a photo of everyone. It will be nice to look at when I get back to camp.’
‘You want me in it?’ She’d been delighted to be included.
‘Of course. You’re part of the gang now. Jonny’s very disappointed Louisa Carlyon is not here.’
Thinking the Harvey airmen weren’t so bad, Jill hauled herself off the bed and opened the door. And changed her mind about Will again. He was leaning forward, smiling disarmingly but in a way that was too familiar. ‘What do you want?’
‘Don’t be like that, Jill. Perhaps I should have chosen a more appropriate place to come to you. You know I’m catching the early train back tomorrow. I want to say a private farewell to you.’ He glanced over her shoulder into the room. ‘Busy with the writing paper and pen again, I see. Your Ronnie’s a lucky blighter. I know a few chaps, well, a good many of them are dead now, who’ve received “Dear Johns”. A loyal woman waiting for them at home goes a long way in the comfort stakes.’
Staying wary of him, she was nonetheless glad for this chance to bid him a proper goodbye. It might be the last time he saw his home. ‘I hope you have a good journey, Will. I’ll pray for you. Good luck.’
‘Thanks. Fancy a stroll round the garden?’
So he couldn’t resist making another move on her. ‘Hardly.’ She tossed her head. ‘Listen. I am not going to have sex with you.’
She was expecting ridicule, perhaps scorn – Will could be sharp when crossed – but he threw back his head and howled with laughter. ‘Blood and bones. Can’t blame a chap for making one last try. You have been spending time with Lottie, haven’t you?’ He dropped his voice melodramatically. ‘Don’t think you’ll get away with it often, putting Lottie in her place like you did at the dance. She’s been rather quiet since then. It means she’s brooding. Likely to turn into a she-cat at any moment. She can be fiendish when she gets going. Then no one can control her. Even I hate being at the receiving end of her most vicious temper.’
‘I don’t believe anything of the sort.’ Jill was annoyed. Lottie was a young adult, of an age much given to rapid changes of mood. ‘Lottie can be strong-willed and that’s all.’
Will’s attractive dark face broke into a giveaway smile. ‘Perhaps you’re right. You must know her better than I do now. I’ve been away from the farm for the last four years. I worry about Lottie. Seriously though, Jill. I would like to talk to you away from the house. Come outside for a cigarette?’ At her look of doubt, he raised crossed fingers. ‘Promise it’s not an excuse to make a pass. On Harvey honour.’
Jill had gained enough insight about the younger Harvey men to know that when they swore an oath then heaven or hell wouldn’t make them renege on it.
A weak moon provided some light. More ominous lights were provided by the faint criss-crossing of faraway searchlights moving through the cloud-pathed sky. A pipistrelle bat, out searching for moths, a more innocent hunter than an enemy bomber, was picked up in the searchlights. To avoid the glow of their cigarettes pin-pricking the darkness they lit up inside the dugout shelter at the bottom of the back garden. ‘Will, what did you mean about Lottie? Why are you worried about her?’
‘Not just her.’ Will rubbed at the tension in his neck. ‘All of them. My whole family. Even Perry. And dear old Tilda. And I wish to God that my mother wasn’t pregnant.’ Jill listened patiently as he rambled on. ‘I’m glad I’ve at least had the chance to see Faye again. Pity Uncle Ben isn’t treating her properly. He went through some peculiar moods at the dance and he’s remained uncommunicative towards her since. She’s his daughter, for goodness sake! My father wasn’t particularly close to Lottie, but he was ill, couldn’t stand a noisy little brat like she was back then buzzing around him. I don’t know what’s the matter with Uncle Ben. Or Uncle Tris. He behaves so badly towards poor Louisa. Well, you can see what a lovely sort she is. I’d propose to her if I wasn’t called on for active service. She’d make a splendid wife, always so interested in what others do. A chap could count on her to always be loyal and supportive.’
Will had revealed a side that Jill would never have dreamt he owned. Apart from the understandable concerns of Mrs Em bearing a baby at forty-two years old, Jill thought it a shame he was otherwise troubled.
‘Silly isn’t it?’ he went on. ‘When I’m on a mission, or thinking about how dangerous my next one’s likely to be, I think about them worrying about me, and it makes me worry like hell about them. I mean, what if something was to happen to one of them? Uncle Tris’s wife was killed because of this damned war. She stepped out into the road without realizing there was a motor car there with its lights dimmed out. Kaput! She was killed instantly. Gone in a second. Lottie and Mum and Tom and the others work half the time in the dark. One of them might become victim of a terrible accident. Sorry, I’m getting morbid. I’m glad you don’t have to worry about your Ronnie being involved in the fighting at the moment.’
‘Yes,’ Jill said gloomily. ‘But I wish he would write.’
Will placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. He longed to put his arm round her. Both his arms to offer her comfort, and he needed comfort too. Another’s gentle touch. But his earlier advances forbade it. ‘Sorry.’
‘It’s OK.’
‘It’s a pity you’ve never known a close family life as I have. I’d never appreciated it until the war started. Through most of my childhood I’d expected to inherit the farm and all my father’s property, but just before he died he changed his will, leaving everything to Mum. I felt a fool. I resented it. Was quite often difficult with her after that, as if blaming her. I love her very much. I hope to have her see me settle down, but well… the odds are against me surviving this war. Tom and Lottie can give her grandchildren. She’ll love that. She deserves it.’
In the dim light, Jill could swear tears were glistening in his eyes. ‘Have you told your mother you love her?’
‘Not in years. Can’t now. Not really, can I?’
‘Why not?’
‘Mum would think I was fearing the worst. That I knew my number was about to come up. That I was saying goodbye to her for good. Couldn’t do that to her.’
‘Oh, yes. I understand.’
‘Tom was right about you, Jill. You are a good sort. It’s a comfort to know you’re here at the farm, that everyone likes and trusts you. Jill, if I write a letter to Mum, just in case… I mean, if I am killed, would you give it to her for me?’
‘Yes, Will, of course.’
‘Thanks. I hope that you’ll know lasting happiness with Ronnie.’
‘Thank you.’
There wasn’t any need for more words, so they stayed silent until they went back inside.