The albatross has
No care for the angry sea.
Should I care for you?
“Gen-san is much recovered.”
I was so deep in my thoughts that Anzu’s voice startled me. She sounded sly, as if something was amusing her.
“Thanks to your care, yes, he is.”
Dear Anzu. It was so very good to see her again. She shrugged modestly and lowered her gaze, self-conscious that, for a moment, she had spoken to me as if we were equals.
“He is a very good patient, and Mori likes him a lot. They have spoken together many times. He will be sad when Gen-san leaves us.”
I was surprised. I could hardly see Mori as a red-hot revolutionary. I spoke cautiously, not wanting to offend Anzu.
“I’m pleased they get on so well. But Gen is from the city and knows nothing of country ways. What do they find to talk about?”
“I don’t understand most of it. But Mori says that Gen-san has many good ideas.” She lowered her voice to a whisper, clearly worried she might be overheard. “Mori does not approve of all the changes Emperor Meiji has made. He says men who will spend their lives farming have no need for book learning. Nor does he think all of the old ways were entirely bad. Did you know our samurai left the land to work in Tokyo because the emperor took away his allowance? Have you ever heard of such a thing—a samurai working! It’s not right. Not right at all.”
Absently, I remembered the samurai I had seen in Father’s office. He had come to borrow money. At the time, I had been bewildered, but now that I understood how the world had changed, it didn’t seem so very odd. But if I found such things strange, how disturbing it must be to the lower castes, who were given no explanations but only orders.
“Things change,” I murmured. “And whether we like it or not, Anzu, time cannot be rolled back.”
“More’s the pity,” she said sharply.
I had no answer for her. I asked if Gen could stay until he was fully healed.
“Of course. The cash you sent with him was far more than we need. Will you take what is left back, Mi-san?”
“No. Please keep it. If there is anything left, you can buy the baby a present with it.”
Anzu smoothed her belly softly, smiling happily, and at once all my fears came back ten-fold now that I understood the enormity of the danger I had inflicted on her.
“Thank you, Mi-san.”
She looked so serene, I hated that I had to warn her of the threat that Gen carried with him.
“Anzu, you do understand that it is vital that you don’t tell anybody that Gen is here. I sent him to you because I knew he would be safe with you, but I’ve found out since that he was one of General Takamori’s men. If the authorities find him, it will be very bad for Gen, and for both you and Mori.”
“Oh, I know that. He told Mori all about the revolution. Mori says it’s a shame it didn’t succeed.”
I felt the blood leave my face at Anzu’s innocence.
“You must never tell anybody that! That kind of talk could get back to the authorities.”
“Everybody around here feels the same way,” she said simply. “But we’re not fools, Mi-san. What we say amongst ourselves would never be repeated in front of strangers. And nobody knows that Gen-san is here. He hasn’t left his room since he arrived, and we have told nobody about him. Don’t worry.”
She gave my arm a consoling pat and for a moment, I was a child again, coaxed out of the fear left by a nightmare by my dear ayah.
“I will come back to see you in no more than a week. I think Gen will be ready to leave you by then.”
“You are always welcome here, Mi-san.” Anzu escorted me to the entrance hall and I slipped on my shoes. Beaming, she added, “It is good to see you walking so well again. One would barely know that you had suffered from the paralysis of the morning.”
I smiled back at her through my hurt. Dear Anzu meant well, but I had long ago convinced myself that my limp no longer showed. It appeared that—just like so many other things I had learned this day—I was wrong about that.
“Thank you.”
Anzu helped me mount my horse. The placid creature had found a patch of succulent grass and was munching happily.
“Will you go with Gen-san when he leaves us? I know he hopes that you will.”
I was so shocked I laughed. So loudly it was grossly impolite. Anzu seemed not to mind at all. She smiled her sly smile again and waited for my answer with her head on one side.
“Now, why would I do that, Anzu? I expect Gen has told you that he used to work for my father, but I haven’t seen him in years. And he certainly hasn’t asked me to marry him.”
My own words hit me with the force of a physical blow. No, Gen had not asked me to marry him. He seemed to think I would be perfectly happy to accompany him to the other side of the world—but as what? An interpreter? A doctor? His lover?
Anzu smiled serenely, astonishing me. “No, but you like him. And I could never think that it was proper for you to be in the city all on your own, with no man to look after you. I expect he will approach your father for permission to marry you before he leaves Tokyo. And then you can go with him and it will be perfectly proper.”
Anzu gave my horse a pat on the neck and stepped away. I kicked the mare into a walk.
I smiled at Anzu’s certainty, although I certainly did not share it. And with every step we took, I felt the spell of Gen’s coaxing words begin to lessen. After a while, I began to think that I had run as mad as Gen clearly was. What had he to offer that could persuade me to leave all I had in Tokyo?
I shook my head in disbelief that I had begun to believe in Gen’s cause, and then jolted with shock as another rider came abreast of me on the narrow track.
“Well, Mi-chan? And how is your patient?”
I turned so sharply in my saddle that even my patient mare stumbled with surprise as I jerked on her reins.
“Jirocho-san!” My amazement showed in my voice, which had gone almost squeaky. “What are you doing here?”
Clearly, he had been waiting for me. Was it possible that he had followed me from Tokyo?
“I was waiting for you to leave Mori-san’s house. What else would I be doing here in the middle of nowhere?” He sounded deeply amused. His expression was full of laughter, and I found it impossible to be angry in the face of his honesty. But I tried.
“Did you follow me here from Tokyo?”
“I did. It was very easy. You were so intent on your mission that you had eyes and ears for nothing else.”
“Why?” I demanded simply.
“Even in this new world we live in, it is not safe for a woman to leave the city alone. There are bandits on the road, and you would have been an easy target for them.”
“You think so?”
He was patronizing me, I was sure, so I reacted in anger. I took my reins in my right hand and then shot my left hand out, fingers straight and taut, pulling what would have been a killing blow when my fingertips just grazed his temple.
I was delighted when he gasped and flinched back from my hand.
“Where did you learn that trick?” He sounded shocked. “You could have killed me!”
“But I chose not to,” I said smugly. “I am not as helpless as you think, Jirocho-san. Now, tell me the real reason why you followed me.”
“Mi-san.” He sounded reproachful. “You saved my life. You have seen me naked and helpless! Is there any need to be so formal? My name is Abe. I would be happy if you used it, Mi-chan.”
He was undoubtedly an attractive man, and I couldn’t help but compare him with Gen. My old friend was so serious, so single-minded, but this young man clearly had not a care in the world beyond his own amusement. He reminded me of my brothers, only they lacked his sweet nature.
“I’ll call you Abe if you tell me why you followed me.”
“Because I was worried about you.”
I sighed and re-phrased my question. “So you said. But how did you know I intended to leave Tokyo?” Suspicion hardened into certainty. “Have you been spying on me?”
“No.” He shrugged his shoulders sheepishly as I glared at him. “Well, not me. But when I told Father about Gen, he made some inquiries and discovered that he had indeed been close to General Takamori. He decided that your association with him could put you in danger, so he ordered that your house be kept under a watchful eye. When your maid ordered a horse for you, I guessed where you were going, so I followed.”
He smiled as if it was all quite simple as I sat in angry silence. Neither he nor his father had any right to spy on me in this way. No doubt they thought they were safeguarding me, but I did not need their care, and I told Abe so, in no uncertain terms.
He waited until I had finished and then smiled. “Well, as I am here, there’s no harm in me following you back to town, is there?”
As he spoke, he pulled his horse to a slow walk, allowing me to move in front of him.
I let him stay there without a further word all the way back to Tokyo.