16 Alone and Restless

By 1990 Keith’s relationship with Peggy Jones was nearly over. “One night she came home and said she was pregnant and the baby was mine. Then I got a letter from a mutual friend telling me that she cheated on me every time my back was turned. The friend had evidence and phone numbers. When I told Peggy that I didn’t want a damn thing to do with the baby unless she proved it was mine with blood tests, she got defensive.

“By then I’d had enough, so I moved in with a great cribbage player from Spokane. He was a retired military man with multiple sclerosis, and he lived his life in a wheelchair. A mutual friend told me that he needed help. Eldon introduced me to tournament cribbage. He had a little block of wood with an arrow to show whose crib it was. You had to shuffle the cards for him and put them in his hand. I’d even pick him up and put him on the toilet. For a while it made me feel good, made me feel I was on earth for a purpose.

“But after a few months I began to feel a little too sorry for him. During a crib game one night he began gasping and moaning. It took him an hour to recover. I figured he didn’t have long on earth. What good was he to himself or anybody else? I could put a pillow over his face and put him out of his misery.

“I finally decided it was too dangerous. People knew I was living with him, and the cops would nail me fast. Otherwise, I’d have killed him for sure—a public service. I decided to go back to Peggy.”

 

After more unsettled months Keith’s bedmate stopped returning to her mother’s little house in Portland and seldom called unless she was out of money. When he dropped into local truck stops, he heard tales about her liaisons, past and current. Fellow drivers tried to set him straight. “Why follow that little piece of ass around?” “That whore takes your money and goes after every guy she sees.” “She’ll work you for your last dime, man….”

A friend informed Keith that Peggy had consorted with men in Yakima and Spokane while they were living together. Not only had she cheated, but she’d done it openly, brazenly. It was the third time he’d heard the same message.

He still wasn’t sure he was hearing the whole truth. Just because he was being true to Peggy didn’t mean she was being true to him—that was obvious. But he’d never caught her in the act, so how could he be sure? I can’t confront her while she’s on the road, he told himself, so why torture myself?

 

Temporarily unemployed because of his poor driving record, he spent his days watching TV, visiting bars, playing pool and reading. He’d had a job from the age of twelve, sometimes two or three. Working was as ingrained as breathing. Idleness gave him ideas, and drinking made him nasty and antisocial.

He was feeling restless when Sunday, January 21, 1990, arrived chilly and damp in the Rose City of Portland. Taunja Bennett was saying good-bye to her mother for the last time. Peggy Jones was somewhere in the East, trucking with her new partner. It was the kind of winter day that always got me down—windy, gray, nothing happening. I was in a bad mood before I even rolled out of bed….