September 29, 2014. I’m driving on the 101 in LA. Phone rings. It’s Secretary of State John Kerry’s office, asking if I can help with some remarks he has to give. The prime minister of India is coming to a luncheon in an hour and the secretary would like a little help with what he is going to say. He needs a light icebreaker for the audience. I’m not good coming up with jokes on the phone, I need to write them out. I’m about to tell everyone at Foggy Bottom they need to wait until I pull over, when I get an incoming call. I see it is the Muppets wanting copy for Miss Piggy’s duet with Michael Bublé. It’s the ultimate dilemma. I tell the secretary of state’s office I’ll get back to them, because I need to handle Miss Piggy. After all, a mere cabinet member will be out of work in two years, and Miss Piggy is forever. As I pull over to the side of the road to write the back-and-forth between Michael Bublé and Miss Piggy, I can’t help but wonder: How did I get to this place in my life?