After talking to Megan, Eleri walked back through the glistening town, with shop lights shining on pavements still wet with the effect of the thunder storm. There was a cleanness about the air, and a lightness in her heart. The tragedy of Lewis-boy’s death was now a different grief; sadder, but somehow more acceptable.
She didn’t want to go home, and found her feet taking her towards the Griffithses’ house, where, in spite of the chill of the evening, the door stood open and the windows thrown back on their hinges as if they couldn’t get enough of the newly-washed air.
Basil was there, preparing his pack for work as night watchman. That he was pleased to see her she was in no doubt. He gestured for her to know that his mother was in the kitchen then hugged her briefly.
“Where’ve you been? You’re soaked.”
“I’ve been talking to Megan, of all people. I never thought we’d be able to stay civil for more than a minute, but somehow she got me talking, about Lewis-boy.”
“Did it help?”
“The day he died he wasn’t flirting, out on a date with Joseph and the Weston girls. He was being paid a fiver to drive them to collect those fancy clothes.” Tears threatened as she went on, “He told them the money was for me, to buy something nice for the flat. Oh, Basil, I feel ashamed for doubting him.”
“He tried he did. Tried very hard to be irresistible to women but he lacked your father’s ruthlessness. It’s that touch of the scoundrel they fall for with your father. Nothing but an old softy he was, your Lewis-boy.” He offered up a prayer that she would never find out about Molly Bondo.
“It sounds crazy, I know that, but I feel happier about it all now. I think my grief was twisted into knots by the belief that he’d cheated, let me down. I’d heard whispers but no proof that he went out with other women, but he seemed the type, and I never felt utterly certain he was faithful.”
“He pretended mind, pretended to have that something special that had the girls reeling. And he definitely flirted a bit when the opportunity was there, but although he gave girls the come-on, I think he’d have run a mile if one of them had taken just one step towards him. I saw a lot of Lewis-boy, remember. Fond of him I was. He was a good’un.”
Seeing she was upset, he went on packing his bag ready for work; sandwiches, a flask and some fruit, cartridges in an inside pocket just in case.
“Pity, mind, but I’ve got to go in a minute. I don’t want to be late.”
“You’re serious about this job then? I never thought you’d keep it,” she teased, fighting away her tears.
“Keep it? Of course I’ll keep it, got a good reason to, haven’t I?”
“And what reason is that? So you can slope off and snare a few rabbits, or shoot a pheasant or two and have an alibi to prove it couldn’t have been you?”
He grinned and admitted that was certainly part of the attraction. “But it’s really because of you, Eleri.”
“Me?”
“If I asked you to marry me, you’d turn me down flat if I couldn’t show I’m prepared to work and keep you.”
“And are you? Going to ask me?” She stood with her head on one side, her round face glowing with love for him.
“Will you marry me, Eleri? I know I’m not much of a catch and not smart or handsome like Lewis-boy, but I do love you and I’ll do everything I can to make you happy.”
Eleri stood for a moment looking at him. In the kitchen, holding her breath, listening from behind the door, Janet stood with fingers so tightly crossed they were almost dislocated.
“I’d do my best for you too Basil. Of course I’ll marry you.”
As he took her in his arms they both heard the sudden release of Janet’s breath and Basil called his mother in. “Don’t you know eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves, Mam?” he said, eyes shining and his face a mask of utter joy. “I was just going to tell Eleri what a terrible mother-in-law you’ll make!”
“Congratulations, son. Welcome to the family, Eleri, love. I’m thrilled with the news. Is it all right to tell dad and Caroline, and Frank and Ernie?”
“Of course. I’ll come back later and talk to them, but now, can we go quickly and tell Dora and the others?” Eleri said, pulling him towards the door.
When Basil and Eleri went to seven Sophie Street and announced their intention to marry, Dora burst into tears.
“Oh, Eleri, my dear girl, I’m so pleased for you. Don’t stop being my daughter-in-law though, will you? I’d miss you so much.”
Viv warned her jokingly about Basil’s police record, and Rhiannon smiled and congratulated them but with an unexpected surge of jealousy.
It didn’t seem fair that Eleri had a second chance of happiness while she had lost the only man she could love because of her father. Yet she couldn’t stay unhappy for long. As soon as Basil had gone to work and Viv had set off to meet his friends, she hugged Eleri and told her she was happy for her, and meant it. They went with Dora to the Griffithses’ and the rest of that evening was spent discussing plans and preparations, and searching magazines for ideas on a suitable dress. Basil went about his night’s work in a dream.
Barry decided to move out of the house where his mother now lived with her new husband. They didn’t suggest it but he thought it was time to get a place of his own. The flat over Temptations seemed a sensible choice. Joseph and Caroline no longer needed it. He went to tell Rhiannon as soon as his mother agreed.
Knowing he would be there unnerved her. How could she cope with seeing him all the time? Within touching distance but untouchable. Because of a situation Rhiannon considered intolerable, when a new rep started calling and invited her out, she accepted.
Bottomley’s was a new firm planning to build a business as soon as rationing finished and Jimmy Herbert was full of enthusiasm. He was very persuasive and Rhiannon laughed as he tried to sell her something of every range in his catalogue.
“All right,” he said, blue eyes flashing in undisguised admiration, “come out with me tonight and I won’t be offended at the smallness of your order!”
She was about to refuse, but he pleaded and promised her “The pictures, then supper. How’s that?” He winked a saucy blue eye and added, “I just know it’ll be an evening to remember, Rhiannon.” He said the name slowly, his lips pursing in what he hoped was a tempting hint of a kiss.
Barry’s van drew up outside at that moment and he began bringing in suitcases and armfuls of clothes.
“All right,” she said, smiling up into Jimmy’s handsome face. “I’ll meet you outside the cinema at seven.”
“Great!”
It was the beginning of a series of evenings out and Rhiannon enjoyed being flattered and spoilt and told she was beautiful and wonderful and witty and all the other things she knew she was not. He was handsome in the classical way, tall and slim. Fair curly hair and large blue eyes and a moustache not much larger than her father’s.
She had the feeling she would never feel completely at ease with him. He would be similar to her father in needing admiration in great slabs, but accepting this, she enjoyed their time together. Jimmy was excellent company, he was amusing and light-hearted; he had turned up at exactly the right time, with Barry popping in and out of the shop disturbing her peace of mind, and Eleri talking about her wedding.
One evening he suggested meeting the following Sunday. “For a walk, and a chat and tea somewhere.”
It was as they walked over the grassy headland, with the wind icy in their faces and the sky above a hard, winter blue, that he began to tell her about one of the salesmen in his firm.
“Talk about dirty old man. He’s been trying to date every one of the secretaries and typists. Caused a row between the manager and his wife, and how he gets away with talking to the lady customers like he does, well, for a man of his age he’s got a nerve. There are always complaints about him, some from the other reps, although he doesn’t affect me. I can hold my own with the likes of him. One said he’d poached three shops away from him by taking out the owner and treating her to a night-out that lasted until morning.”
He was unaware of Rhiannon’s hands covering her face as she asked, “What’s his name, this disreputable salesman?”
“Lewis Lewis, would you believe. Fancy a mother naming her son with a name like that! Popular idea in Wales, mind, but I’ve never liked the practice.” He went on and when he realised she wasn’t responding with the expected laughter he looked at her and saw her face was white with shock.
“Rhiannon? What is it?”
“That salesman – he’s my father.”
She ran past his car to where a bus was approaching and went home. She refused to see him again. Because of her father’s continuing inability to behave, she had lost another friend.
She missed his cheerful company but didn’t tell her mother why they no longer saw each other. “Just as well if you ask me,” Dora said, “I only saw him a couple of times but I could help thinking he was another one like your father.”
“No,” Rhiannon said bitterly. “There’s only one man like our Dad!”
Lewis’s new flat wasn’t very grand, but he didn’t expect to be in it very much. He ate out and spent his evenings socialising. Some nights too, when he was lucky. He tried hard to pretend he was lucky to be free but the hours that couldn’t be used in eating or at the pub passed painfully slowly.
He missed the opportunity to just loll about at the weekend, listening to the radio, reading the paper, or pottering in the garden. Things were not the same without the activity of the family bustling around him.
Filling time was how he spent his weekend and late evenings, instead of using it. He began to feel saddened by the way he had lost the family, the framework of most people’s lives. With Dora and Nia staying away from him there seemed little hope of any meaningful structure ever returning. For a while he had been buoyed up by the hope of seeing Nia, but as weeks passed he gradually accepted that she and her new husband were content.
So it was a surprise one Sunday afternoon when he opened the door and saw her standing there.
“Well? Aren’t you going to let me in?” she said. “You haven’t got a ‘house guest’ or anything?”
“No house guest, Nia love.”
He couldn’t decide how to behave. He wanted to hug her and kiss her and take her to bed, but she stood there looking so formal. All held in and acting like a stranger. She wore a navy suit and court shoes, a small hat rested on her greying curls and her small hands were encased in leather gloves, which she smoothed nervously, stretching them tighter on her hands.
“You going to sit down?” he asked.
“I can’t stay long.”
“Our time together was never noted for its length, only its intensity,” he smiled.
“Never easy, yet we succeeded in keeping our secret for all those years.”
“Pity we hadn’t kept it longer. It’s created more trouble since the secret got out than it ever caused before.”
“There’s no one left to hurt, now, is there? No need to hide.”
“Dora is divorcing me. I don’t think she’d worry if we marched down the main street carrying a banner!” Hope began to swell in him. “There’s only the gossip and I don’t think either of us would mind that. And—‚” he stopped a moment before adding, “and there’s your new husband of course. I don’t think you’d like him to find out, if we started seeing each other again.”
“Oh,” she gave that weary little half sigh and said, “I don’t think he’d mind all that much. He left me yesterday. My marriages don’t last long, do they?”
With delicious slowness he opened his arms and enfolded her.
Viv hated his new job in the warehouse. It was boring, checking stock and ordering when necessary and never seeing the customers he supplied. The staff came in, collected items off the shelves and went out, and when five o’clock came he went home feeling like someone who’d spent eight hours in a cave.
So it was with malicious pleasure that he absorbed the news that Weston’s was failing and on the point of closing down.
“Mam,” he called, bursting through the front door one Friday evening. “Westons are on the slippery slope. Downhill fast they’re going and if I could, I’d give ’em a push to speed them on their way!”
“Didn’t you know?” Dora asked. “I’d have thought Jack, being your friend, would have hinted that all was not well. I heard it weeks ago.”
“So did I,” Rhiannon told him.
“Never hear a thing in that ol’ cave of mine. They come and go, collect what they want, and the only time they speak to me is when the item isn’t exactly where they look for it. I’m the most gossip-free member of the Lewis family, that’s for sure.”
He looked forward to a visit to The Railwayman’s that evening. He’d make Jack talk about it. They were no longer as close as before the little chest of drawers had given up its secret but he’d surely tell him the situation at the shop. He wanted to know exactly what had happened. The delight at the family’s downfall was still strong, but other ideas filtered into his mind and caused him to smile.
Basil was there, having taken Eleri to work, and Frank and Ernie Griffiths, but, to his disappointment, Jack didn’t appear.
Jack was worried about his father. Islwyn had become a recluse. Waiting for the trial had made him shun everyone he knew and over a period of a few weeks he had seen fewer and fewer people until he now refused to see anyone apart from his immediate family. Ryan’s daughters, the lively Weston Girls, continued with their lives as before and tried to cheer him but he hardly seemed aware of their presence. Joan refused to go there long before Megan gave up on him.
Seeing the state of the business, with half-empty shelves and a lethargic staff who drifted through the days doing as little as possible, Jack decided to try once more to make an improvement. Even if the worst happened and his father and grandfather went to prison, they would need something to come out to.
“Dad, why don’t you come to the shop and at least look at what needs to be done?” he pleaded.
“It’s Viv Lewis’s fault,” Islwyn muttered. “He did this to us. And you thought he was a friend of yours! Never make friends with those beneath you. Keeping your station in life is the only way to keep your respect.” Islwyn said the same things time after time, repeating in different words the same sentiment, until Jack wanted to hit him. As he left, his father brightened up and Jack paused hopefully but all Islwyn said, was, “Viv Lewis caused all this, Jack. You should never have been his friend.”
His attempt to coax old man Arfon Weston to do something before it was too late was no more successful.
“It’s gone, boy,” Arfon sighed. “All I’ve built up. When I think of the years and years spent working all the hours I could stay awake I could cry, boy. Dedicated my life to that business I did and now it’s gone, because of that Viv Lewis.”
“It wasn’t you who caused the downfall of the business by setting fire to the place?” Jack was brought to sarcasm by the tedious repetitions. “Or Dad, by stealing from the firm?
“It wasn’t the fire, boy, or the stealing. It was being found out! And who’s that down to? Viv bloody Lewis, that’s who! Now why couldn’t it have been Frank or Ernie Griffiths? I’d have been able to talk them round, no trouble. That work-shy lot would do anything for a few pounds. No, if Viv hadn’t reported finding that letter, and got the police in to investigate the books, your father and I wouldn’t be hovering like criminals, afraid to go out, waiting to defend ourselves in court.”
“But you’re guilty! You are criminals!” Jack was exasperated.
“Jack! How can you say that?”
“Because it’s true!”
“It would have been all right if it hadn’t been for Viv Lewis,” Arfon insisted.
Jack pleaded for him to go and look at the shop and at least decide on what could be done to save it but, like his father, all his grandfather said, was, “That Viv Lewis has the fault. Not me.”
By the time Jack had stopped at three pubs and drank several pints and several whisky chasers he had convinced himself his grandfather and father were right and it was Viv who was responsible for the collapse of the family business.
He walked into The Railwayman’s and, seeing Viv laughing and joking with the usual crowd, he pushed his way through the tables and chairs and aimed a blow at his chin.
Viv thought he was playing the fool and jeered, “Looking for a fight to make you feel better about the fortunes of the mighty Westons, Jack?”
Jack’s response was to strike out again, this time meeting Viv’s chin with a straight jab that made Viv reel.
“Steady on, Jack! What’s got into you?”
“You! You call yourself a friend? You don’t know the meaning of friendship! Why didn’t you come to me with your story about that letter, eh?”
“Because I couldn’t resist seeing your grandfather rattled. Not nice I know, but I wanted it, Jack.”
Again Jack went to hit him, but he was weakened and irresolute and he was held amid laughter by Basil and his brothers. Onlookers gathered and the landlord walked purposefully across to ask them to leave. But before he could do so, Viv looked at Jack and said, “I don’t have a solution to keep them out of the courts, but I do think I can help.”
“Help make him squirm some more?” Jack replied belligerently.
“No, but I believe I can save the business.”
Viv sat down and as Jack sank into a chair opposite, Viv waved away the landlord, who stood undecided for a moment, then returned to the bar.
Quietly and carefully, Viv offered a solution. Gradually sobered by Viv’s suggestion, Jack heard him out, then said, “They’d never agree.”
“They might, if you put it to them.”
Flowers arrived at frequent intervals for Rhiannon. Knowing they were from Jimmy Herbert, she thanked the young man who delivered them and put them aside. She had enjoyed going out with Jimmy but couldn’t see him again, knowing how he and his associates had enjoyed the stories about her father. He called at the shop twice, with special offers on various confectionery but she was formal, dealing with him as she would a stranger with a business proposition.
Twice when he called, Barry was there and she found she was a little more pleasant with Jimmy than intended, and then she felt guilty of teasing and was even more angry with her father for putting her in this dreadful position.
Barry thought the friendship was continuing and was cool towards Rhiannon. Until the wedding.
Eleri and Basil were married at the register office on St Valentine’s Day. And although there weren’t many at the ceremony, it being a Saturday morning when most people were at work, this was rectified later, when crowds gathered at the Griffithses’ for an evening of celebration.
The fare was not varied, just sandwiches and pickled onions, and some small cakes, brought by several of the guests. The sandwiches were surprisingly good. Besides corned beef and a few of cheese, there were three platefuls filled with roast chicken. The legality of the latter was in doubt when several guests found shot in the tender meat.
“Basil…?” Eleri asked with a quizzical look.
“Well, I’d had a bad night and hadn’t got a thing. Then, as dawn was breaking, I was coming back through Flaker’s farm and these poor chickens were wandering around in the field. Prey to foxes they’d be, so I just took a casual shot or two. I was a bit close though, so there was a lot of shot in them. Mam thought she’d got it all out.”
“You take such risks, Basil.”
“I wanted us to have a bit of a feast. Why not, on our wedding day?”
“Why not,” she smiled. “As long as you don’t spend all our money paying fines!”
After closing Temptations, Rhiannon went home to change to go to the wedding party. She left the house in a smart new slim-fitting dress and matching jacket in pale blue. The prospect of rain made her carry a coat over her arm, and to keep her long hair tidy she wore a head scarf of pale blue. She knew her outfit was rather formal for a party at the Griffithses’, but because she had been unable to attend the wedding she felt she had to make an effort, and show Eleri she had taken extra trouble on this special evening.
When she stepped outside, Barry was just starting his van and he flashed the headlights and called to her, offering a lift. She didn’t want to ride with him. Her instinct was to stay away from situations where they were alone, but it seemed ridiculous to walk when Barry was driving to the same place.
She was conscious of the tightness of her skirt as she sat in the big passenger seat beside him and tried unsuccessfully to pull it lower.
“You look lovely,” he said.
Disconcerted, she could only say ungraciously, “I wish I’d worn something more comfortable.”
He talked about the wedding and the photographs he had taken. “I hope to get plenty more this evening, I thought I’d make an ‘Album of Friends’ rather than the formal collection, what d’you think?”
“I think that’s a lovely idea. For a second wedding and with both sets of in-laws present, a perfect solution.”
“Will the in-laws be there? I mean your father,” he added.
“I doubt it and hope not!”
They had arrived by this time so he couldn’t ask more questions, and when she stepped out of the van, hastily adjusting her skirt, Jimmy commandeered her and led her into the throng.
“What are you doing here?” Rhiannon asked.
“Surprise surprise. I asked your Viv to wangle me an invitation.”
“How did you do that? I didn’t think you knew him?”
“I don’t. I asked your father to ask him for me.”
At mention of her father, Rhiannon’s smile faded and she left Jimmy to go and congratulate the happy couple. Jimmy tried to follow her but was pushed aside by Barry, who grasped her hand firmly.
“Your father is coming,” he told her, “and your mother threatens to leave when he arrives, so don’t add to the tension. It’s Eleri and Basil’s special day remember, and Caroline and her mother have worked for three days getting this party organised.”
The sharpness of his tone startled her. “How I treat my parents is nothing to do with you Barry Martin!”
“Your misbehaving and spoiling the evening is!” he retorted.
She pushed past him and looked around the laughing crowd for Jimmy, smiling provocatively at him, aware that once more she was giving him hope when there was none. She beckoned him over. Barry held her hand until Jimmy reached them, then let it go as if it was burning him and went to join Hywel and his sons Frank and Basil, and Ernie near the barrel in the kitchen.
The room had been changed to accommodate the extra people, many of whom had not been officially invited. The television had been relegated to a shed to make room for more seating. Temporary seats, made of sawn-off sections of a tree trunk, stood on end and were stacked in a corner and under the table and those who were regulars grabbed one and found a small area to sit.
Caroline brought the baby down as soon as her mother-in-law Nia arrived, so he could be photographed with the rest.
“One for the album, so we can tell him how well he behaved,” Barry smiled. Again, Rhiannon felt that unpleasant kick of jealousy. Specially when Basil took the camera and photographed the family of three together.
If Dora saw Nia she pretended not to, although several guests saw them glance at each other from time to time. “Like a couple of terriers spoiling for a fight,” Viv chuckled.
Basil pretended to open a book on the probable winner and Janet and Hywel watched the door for the arrival of Lewis and hoped he had been unavoidably detained.
Amid the laughter and the good-natured teasing Rhiannon was miserable and she was unable to decide on the reason. Perhaps it was the celebratory mood, or the presence of Barry, or simply the mysterious melancholy that weddings sometimes create. Weddings were a milestone and for her the road was leading inexorably to a barren future.
Eleri and Basil had found a flat and Dora was already aware of a subtle difference in her home. Number seven Sophie Street had a hollowness about it, having shed the presence of her daughter-in-law; who could no longer be given that title, she thought sadly.
At eleven o’clock, when the cutting of the cake was imminent, Rhiannon saw her father arrive, saying he had just driven back from Aberystwyth. She couldn’t face him. Not with Jimmy Herbert there knowing all his worst secrets. It was best if she slipped away now. It had to be without Jimmy seeing. She didn’t want him to walk her home. That suggested a good-night kiss and the possibility of a date. She had to tell him firmly that she was no longer interested, but tonight was not the time.
Finding her coat amongst the muddle on the bed, she held it over her arm and went down the stairs and out of the back door. As she closed the door behind her it quickly reopened and Barry followed her.
“Won’t Eleri wonder why you didn’t stay for the cutting of the cake?” he demanded.
“Barry, why are you so angry with me?”
“I thought you had more guts!” he said, “Or is it this Jimmy Herbert? Embarrassed he’ll find out what your father’s like and chuck you? Is that it?”
“He knows. He was amusing me one day by telling me the exploits of a rep who works for his firm. Oh yes, he knows it all, Dad’s past and present affairs, and the way the younger ones laugh behind his back and call him a dirty old man!” Tears were close and Barry reached out and held her.
“I’m sorry, Rhiannon. I’ve been so jealous, and knowing I haven’t the right to do anything about it is driving me wild.”
She pushed him away reluctantly. “Jimmy might see us and then there’d be more fun to be had out of the Lewis family’s carryings on. That wouldn’t do, would it?”
“Carryings on? God how I wish we were! I was stupid to accept your refusal without talking it through. And I should never have married Caroline out of some false loyalty to Joseph.”
“It’s done and there’s nothing we can do about it.”
“I want you to wait for me, but I can’t ask it.” Without waiting for her response he led her back into the house. “Come on, just show yourself long enough for me to get a few photographs of this lot stuffing themselves with cake and I’ll drive you home.”
Dora watched as Lewis waved to a few friends then gradually moved through the throng nearer and nearer to Nia. Like a bee to honey, she thought contemptuously. So irresistible to him that even being repeatedly stung hadn’t cured him!
Closer and closer he moved, exchanging a few words to some, smiling politely at others, trying to look as if nearness to Nia was not his intention. When he was close enough he muttered a few words in her ear and Nia gave an almost imperceptible nod. Then Lewis moved on out into the kitchen where the men, predictably, had gathered.
That they had made some arrangement to meet, Dora didn’t doubt. She wondered why they attempted secrecy when there was no real need? Both of them were separated, Nia’s new husband having returned to London, and everyone knew, so they could meet openly. That they didn’t, suggested Lewis was keeping some options open. He might need to come back home. Not one to burn bridges was Lewis!
Weddings are occasions when people look back and Dora was no exception. She sat amid the noisy revellers and wondered when it had started to go wrong for her and Lewis, or if it had ever been right!
Drifting through her memories of their stormy marriage, she saw herself repeatedly blaming him for having given up her baby as an excuse for her bad temper. Had she really been as bad as she now remembered? Certainly she hadn’t been soft and womanly like – she glanced at Nia and added silently – like Nia. Perhaps that was what had driven Lewis back into her arms so soon after they were married.
All these years she had been poisoning her marriage by her bitterness over the child she had never known. Rejecting Lewis and piling on the guilt. As if anything could change it now! Even if she succeeded in finding the child, the years between wouldn’t return and the poison she had spread wouldn’t go away.
Later, when Barry’s van pulled up outside the house, Rhiannon jumped down and ran in without a word. Locking the door behind her was locking herself away from any chance of love, marriage and future happiness. She saw a future where she stayed with Dora and settled early into middle age.
Damn her father and his unreasonable need for women!
As she climbed the stairs, the silence of the house mocked her. Her reflection in the mirror showed her a silly young woman who had allowed pride and anger to thus far ruin her life. It woke her out of her foolishness.
This house wasn’t her life. Life was out there waiting for her behind the door she had willingly locked. Well she could just as willingly unlock it. At nineteen, she could do anything. Life here, as a companion for her mother, seemed suddenly ludicrous. She threw off the new suit and jumped into bed filled with new exhilaration. Barry might be mourning his lost chances but that role wasn’t for her. Tomorrow was going to be a wonderful new beginning.