"What did you do?" Meghianna's frown deepened. "Lord Mrillis--"
"It is complicated," he said on a sigh. "Megassa, you did not do anything wrong. Remember that. Anyone who tells you it is your fault that you do not see your father is lying." He fought a grin when Megassa looked up to Gynefra for confirmation of his words. At least the child trusted someone. "The easiest explanation is that your mother was not married to your father when you were born. The Estall says it is wrong to make babies between people who are not married. Your father does not want to remember that he and your mother did something very wrong. You did nothing wrong by being born. Do you understand?"
Megassa's nod and little smile stabbed him yet again.
I am getting soft in my old age, Mrillis thought.
"My mama died when I was a baby. Seeing me hurts Papa, because he misses her," Meghianna said, and reached out to take hold of Megassa's hand.
"So he sent you away?" Megassa shook her head, her confusion and disbelief almost comical.
"No. Princess Meghianna is a student at the Stronghold," Gynefra hurried to say. "She has very much to learn before she is grown up. That is why she only lives here part of the year."
"That's why I never saw you before?" She tipped her head to one side, mirroring Meghianna's expression.
Mrillis caught Gynefra's glance, both of them sharing silent concern at this mimicry. Megassa's hair had more curl, and slightly more red tint, but other than their mode of dress, the girls could have been twins. That would only be a problem for another six or seven years, he estimated. Meghianna's hair would grow fairer, finally turning white as she reached maturity. That was one constant among all the girls who became Queen of Snows. The flow of power through them as they manipulated the Threads turned their hair white. But Megassa could bleach her hair too easily, if she wanted to take her sister's place.
Ridiculous, he scolded himself. Megassa has little imbrose, and even if she started training now, she would never reach Meghianna's skill and strength. We have agreed she will never be sent to the Stronghold to study, never be encouraged to cultivate her magical talents.
In light of the prophecy of the Three Drops of Blood, the Council had decided soon after Megassa's birth that if she showed any imbrose strength, any talent in magic whatsoever, she would be enfolded in spells and bindings, to cripple that aspect of her life. The leaders of the Rey'kil had learned a bitter lesson with Endor and his siblings. It would be wrong to kill Megassa, but there was nothing either criminal or cruel in keeping her from becoming a weapon in the enemy's hands.
As those thoughts ran through Mrillis' head, Megassa seemed to come to some settlement with what she had just learned. She smiled, nodded once, and looked up at Mist, who hung her head over the stall door, visibly waiting for Meghianna to pet her.
"Do you think they'll really let me ride a pony?" the child asked.
"If you want to become a warrior when you're grown, you have to learn to ride," Gynefra said. "Why not start now?"
"I'm going to ask Papa tonight," Meghianna promised.
"There you are." Nalla hurried into the stable, only slowing a few steps when she saw the group gathered in front of Mist's stall. She wrapped a shawl around Meghianna. "Come back and finish your breakfast. We don't have much time. You're riding out with Healer Onach today, remember?"
"Can I go?" Megassa immediately chirped.
"If you want to miss your first lesson with bow and arrows." Gynefra laughed when the girl's eyes widened and her mouth dropped open in dismay. "They'll be riding all day. You don't have a pony yet."
"But you will by tomorrow morning," Meghianna promised, and nodded her head for emphasis.
Mrillis didn't doubt, no matter how reluctant Efrin might be to give Megassa any mobility or recognition, his elder daughter would have her way.
The girls had discovered each other, and Meghianna's generous, open nature wouldn't allow her new sister to be pushed back into a dark room and forgotten. He supposed the wisest course of action was to allow the girls to be together, and be friends. If true affection developed between them, love for Meghianna might be all that was needed to keep Megassa from following her mother's and grandmother's footsteps into treachery.
He took comfort from the knowledge that Gynefra would guide Megassa's steps, away from using her magic and toward the life of a woman warrior. That sort of destiny for the girl would be safer for all of them.
* * * *
"Where is Megassa's mother?" Meghianna asked, looking up from the scroll she had been studying for the last hour.
Mrillis sighed, ending on a soft chuckle. He should have known that question would be bouncing around in her clever mind all day, since her most recent encounter with her half-sister.
"Nalla said nobody really knows, and I... well, I heard something she thought. I didn't mean to listen," she added, eyes widening in earnestness.
"I don't doubt you." He got up from his worktable and crossed the long, narrow room to her worktable, set in front of a window looking down on her garden. He reflected, not for the first time, that without meaning to, life in the Warhawk's fortress shifted to focus on this innocently wise child when she resided there. He rearranged his workroom to accommodate her lessons and her safety--this window was a far safer place for her to sit than the other window, which looked down over the outer courtyard. For an enemy to see Meghianna, he would have to penetrate several walls and sets of guards, and stand in the open where anyone looking down into the courtyard could see him. Or her.
"I think someone does know where she is. Whoever is guarding her. And you know who that person is. She did something bad, didn't she?" The child swallowed and her gaze flicked away from his for a moment. "Nalla thinks she hurt my mother."
"Yes, we are very sure Trevissa contributed to the death of your mother. Her cousin." Mrillis tugged over the stool so he could sit with his back to the window. All the light fell on Meghianna's face, and left his in shadows. "And yes, I know where she is. What have you learned in your lessons about Wynystrys?"
"It is the counterpart of the Stronghold, an island. When Master Breylon died, the island was rocked by the tearing of the Threads that had wrapped around him in his lifetime, and came loose, so it drifts along the coast of Lygroes."
"Hmm, and let this be your first lesson on prevarication and the usefulness of lies." He snorted when the child's eyes widened. He could almost hear her clever mind racing, fascinated and repelled by the concept of some lies actually being beneficial. "The problem with lies is that there is always some truth mixed into them."
"Then the island was knocked loose from the bedrock when Master Breylon died? And what does that have to do with Trevissa?" She frowned and tipped her head to the side.
"The island was rocked when my old master died, yes. We took advantage of that visible, very real sundering of the island from its roots and we set it free. It was Master Breylon's own deathbed vision that guided us. Wynystrys lies behind a cloak woven of Threads, to hide its presence from all who are not devoted to its safety, and to allow it to float freely along the coast. And we put Trevissa there, as her prison and her safe hiding place."
"Because people want to kill her for killing my mother?" Meghianna shook her head a moment later. "No, for killing Queen Belissa. For killing her own cousin. No one cares about a newborn baby being orphaned." Her lips twisted in what Mrillis could only describe as a bitter little smile, and something inside him shuddered in sorrow. No child, he swore, should ever have to wear such an expression.
"Those who know you want vengeance for you." He gave in to temptation and caressed a few soft strands of hair off her high forehead. "We need to protect Trevissa, because the madness that resulted from our enemies using her as a weapon against us also formed her into a tool of prophecy. When she is lucid, she speaks nothing but truth, and her eyes go white with Seeing. She has given us warnings that have all proven true. Would you allow such a gift from the Estall to be destroyed, or to fall into enemy hands?"
"No." She looked down at her wax tablet and made a row of dots down the edge, along the frame, while she thought. "So she wasn't evil, just insane, when she killed my mother?"
"Only the Estall knows."
"Why did my father make a baby with Trevissa, if he wasn't married to her?"
Mrillis nearly laughed aloud at that question. He had been living in fascinated, half-dreading anticipation of it, since the encounter that morning in the stable. No matter how sweetly, how cleanly they tried to explain the situation for the girls, no matter how they tried to protect them, the truth was basically ugly and cruel.
"Trevissa wanted to be queen, or at least a princess. Since Belissa was betrothed to Cafral, the Warhawk's heir, Trevissa thought she should marry Efrin, his younger brother."
"But my uncle died with my grandparents, so my father became Warhawk."
"Your parents married for duty, but they liked each other very much, and grew to love each other before she died," he hurried to assure her. Mrillis knew Efrin rarely spoke of Belissa to his daughter, and suspected the young Warhawk wasn't sure if it was guilt or love that gave him such pain at the memory of his queen. "Trevissa was jealous, and she was badly hurt, angry, when your mother announced she was pregnant with you. Trevissa used her imbrose to cast a spell on your father, to make him think she was Belissa. They... mated, and Megassa was conceived. When your mother died soon after you were born, we knew magic had been used against her, but we were not sure of the source, only that blood-magic had been intertwined with imbrose. Then, before the ashes of her funeral pyre cooled... Trevissa announced she carried the Warhawk's heir. She demanded he marry her.
"Magic examination proved she spoke the truth, and how the conception took place. We were unable to determine either her guilt or her innocence in your mother's death, which led us to believe she was used by someone else to commit the deed. Despite the methods used, the fact remained that Trevissa did carry another child for the Warhawk. Your father vowed he would only marry her if she gave him a son. The strain of the questioning shredded her fragile grip on her sanity, and that refusal to legitimize her child before birth only made things worse. When Megassa was born..."
Mrillis shook his head and studied the somber little face, with the bright afternoon light spilling across it. "Trevissa was furious to learn she had given birth to a girl. She tried to kill Megassa when she was only a day old, and we realized then she was truly insane."
"So you put her on Wynystrys, behind the shield, to protect Megassa." Meghianna nodded, pursing her lips as she thought. Mrillis waited, fascinated by her thought processes, even as he sorrowed over another bit of her lost innocence. "And to protect me."
"Yes, indeed. To protect you."
"That's why she isn't held prisoner in the Stronghold, even though it might be a more secure prison. To keep her from being anywhere near me. And..." She exhaled slowly, loudly. "I think you keep Megassa away from me, because you think she might hurt me, too?"
"There is always the possibility. Do you ever wonder why we are so careful of you, why we teach you duty and consequences and fill your head with such serious things?"
"Because Lady Ceera chose me as her heir before I was born, and there is so very much to learn before I can become Queen of Snows. Papa says the Court is filled with people who would want to make me silly and do my thinking for me, and waste all that time I need to use for studying."
Mrillis surprised both of them by laughing, tipping his head back, the sound coming out of him so strongly his chest ached. He was delighted at the grin and the sparkle in the child's eyes. As long as she could laugh and not fear the reactions and thoughts of the adults entrusted with her care, he knew she would be well. He regretted taking her childhood away from her, but she had spoken a large part of the truth. There was so very much to teach her before she could fulfill her destiny. And yet, there was more truth to the course he and the child's guardians had taken. Despite being only six years old, Meghianna was no doubt wise enough to comprehend.
"There is that, yes." He wiped a last few laugh tears from his eyes. "But has it ever occurred to you that the enormous magical potential in you can bend toward evil choices just as easily as good?" He waited until the sparkle of humor in her eyes faded into interest and the unfocused gaze that signaled deep thought. "You and Megassa are both great-granddaughters of the Nameless One. His poison could still linger in your blood, bound to your flesh and bone with spells so quiet, so deeply buried, no one can sense them no matter how carefully we watch. But just as your grandmother Nainan taught us, free choice and the power of the will can battle that magic when nothing that outside forces can do will prevail. We train you to protect you, to teach you to choose the right, to follow the Estall. Just as Megassa can be a tool for our enemies, because of her heritage, you can also be touched by that magic, that enemy, and in the end, only you can protect yourself. Only Megassa can choose the right."
"Then shouldn't she get the same training?"
"Indeed, she should."
"Does she have imbrose?"
"No one knows." He decided Meghianna had endured enough bitter, heavy truth for the day. Later, when the girls were older and the elder girl's imbrose manifested, and Megassa expected to show her own magical talents--that was time enough to reveal to Meghianna, certainly not to Megassa, that her imbrose had been stunted from birth. They had learned their lesson too bitterly well, with Endor. Megassa would never be allowed to hold her magical heritage. Whether any children born of her flesh would be allowed to keep their imbrose would depend on how well she proved she was free of her family's heritage of evil.
Four brisk taps on the door, a pause of three heartbeats, then four more taps, followed by a rattling of the latch signaled the Warhawk was free of his Council meeting. Mrillis watched the brightness come back to Meghianna's face. She was a child again, not a grown woman, matured beyond her years by the weight of her duty. His heart ached with the guilt he knew every Queen of Snows had ever carried, when they recognized their heirs and set about to train them. How had Le'esha endured the burden of training Ceera and taking her innocence and freedom away from her for the good of the World?
"Papa!" Meghianna crowed, and leaped from her seat to run to the door. She yanked on the heavy iron latch, which resisted her, and whirled around to frown at Mrillis. "Please?"
"Must you leave?" he said, pouting to tease her. With a flicker of thought, he untied the knot of Threads that kept the door sealed more securely than a dozen locks and bars, and yanked on the latch, so the door swung open with enough force to bounce against the wall.
The sound of the bang was muffled by Meghianna's squeal of delight as she leaped into her father's arms. Efrin roared laughter and spun her around twice before setting her down.
"There's my Meggi, all dusty from spending her day crawling through scrolls and records. No ink stains on those pretty fingers, I hope?" He nodded once, exaggerated satisfaction on his face, when she fluttered her fingers for his examination. "Well, what shall we do today?"
"I want to give Megassa a pony so she can learn to ride," the child announced. "She's going to train to be a soldier with Captain Gynefra, Papa, so she truly does need to learn to ride right away."
"A soldier, huh?" Efrin straightened up, rubbing his bearded chin, and cast a questioning frown at Mrillis. "Very busy morning?"
"Gynefra wrote a report about the incident in the stable. I suppose it's too much to hope you read it," Mrillis said.
"I have reports stacked as high as my knee. We spent the entire council session discussing the latest Encindi movements and what we should do--finally--to keep them contained, instead of reacting after another farm or estate has been burned. Who has time to read reports?" He bent over enough to look his daughter in the eye and braced his hands on his thighs. "Well, I suppose soldiering is a good choice for your sister. Do you approve?"
"I think... it doesn't matter right now. Megassa doesn't like not having anything to do. Lots of people tell her she isn't allowed to do anything, because she's--" A blush darkened her face. "I know it's not a bad word when it's used right, but Nalla said I still shouldn't use it."
Mrillis mouthed 'bastard,' and had to fight a snort of laughter when Efrin rolled his eyes and muffled a grin behind his hand.
"So, she's bored. Well, boredom more often leads to mischief than a bad heart, my mother always used to say. Do you think your sister will like soldiering?"
"I think she will like it because she gets to be with Captain Gynefra, and she likes Captain Gynefra."
"Very wise observation, my dear." He bowed to her, low enough their foreheads touched, earning a giggle.
The boy is still too young for this, Mrillis decided. It amused him a little, that he still thought of Efrin as 'the boy,' and puzzled him that he never really saw Meghianna as a child. He wasn't prone to visions, as Ceera had been, but it seemed to him that a ghostly image of Meghianna as a grown woman hovered in the background during every encounter with the girl, and it colored every exchange. Whether that was a blessing or a barrier, he could never be sure.
* * * *
"Papa, I think you should spend time with Megassa like you do with me. It's only fair," Meghianna said, looking into the dark, round eyes of the pony Efrin had let her choose for her sister's use. They stood in the doorway of the stables, where they had plenty of light to examine the neatly brushed, plump brown creature.
"Fair? I suppose you're right."
"It's not her fault she was born, is it?"
"I can see I'm going to have to sit in on some of your lessons with our dear Lord Mrillis," her father exclaimed, and yanked on the pony's bridle, earning a disgruntled snort from the creature.
"Oh, Lord Mrillis didn't tell me all that. Nalla did. And I overheard some things. And I know you wouldn't break your promise to my Mama, so I think you were tricked, so you shouldn't feel guilty or embarrassed. Should you?" It occurred to Meghianna, as she tipped her head to the side and studied her father, that perhaps this was one of those times when she should have kept her concerns to herself. Adults sometimes reacted oddly to what she thought was perfect sense.
"If only the world could see through your eyes," Efrin said on a sigh. His mouth curved up on one side. "We would all be much happier and kinder to each other, I think." He went down on one knee before her. "Would it make you happy?"
"I think you wouldn't be so lonely when I'm at the Stronghold. And..." She swallowed hard, wishing she could push away the thought that came to her.
How many times had Nalla teasingly scolded her for asking too many questions, and listening to adult conversations instead of ignoring them like most children did?
"What?" He caught her chin gently with two fingers and tipped her head up so their gazes met again. "Are you lonely, my Meggi?"
"I'm too busy to be lonely. Except just before I fall asleep," she hurried to add in a burst of honesty. That earned a widening of her father's grin and a snort of laughter. "I know you don't dare let Megassa come to the Stronghold, just like you can't let people know where her mother is hidden. You're afraid our enemies will control her. And use her to hurt me. But what if they use her to hurt you, too, Papa?"
"Ah, and do you think your papa is afraid of that happening?" He stood, signaling for the stable hand, who came to fetch the pony and put him in a stall next to Mist.
"I think my papa is a very brave man." She slipped her hand into Efrin's, and they walked out into the sunlight.
"But?" He swung her arm extra hard, making her giggle.
"But everybody reminds me that my papa is also the Warhawk, and politics is an invisible monster that whispers in everyone's ears and ties their hands and makes everything complicated."
"You are growing up far too fast."
"I don't think so. I think it will be a long time before I am old enough and smart enough and know enough to be Queen of Snows. That is a good thing, isn't it, Papa?"
"A very good thing." He squeezed her hand. "The invisible monster says I would be very smart to have had Megassa killed when she was born, or even had her and her mother killed before she was born. But while the monster whispers that in one ear, it whispers in my other ear that protecting myself and my throne and the future that way is impossible. Some people say to destroy the problem before it grows strong and smart, and other people would say that is proof that I am unworthy to be the Warhawk, if I killed an innocent child and her insane mother."
"And some of those people say both things at the same time, I think."
"Ah, you are far too wise! I should put the Warhawk crown on your head." He swept her up to sit astride his hip, putting them at eye-level again. "What do you think of that?"
"It is very heavy and too big for my head. And I would much rather be only the Queen of Snows. And not for a very long time," she added, pressing her little hands against her father's cheeks. "Papa, why didn't I ever see Megassa before?"
"She wasn't living here, until last fall. She has been living in a very far off castle on Moerta. I thought she was safe. And we were all safe from her," he added, nodding, almost the moment that thought occurred to Meghianna. She liked those times when it seemed she and her father thought the same things, as if their minds touched without any imbrose. "Nobody but the lord of the castle knew who she was. We hoped that ignorance was enough to protect us all. And her."
"But something bad happened?" She smiled as he carried her through the archway into her walled garden.
"Our enemies found out where she was. Her guardian sent me regular reports, telling me if she was healthy, if she was smart, if she was happy. I don't hate her. I know she's innocent, but it's rather hard to look at her." His eyes darkened with pain and guilt Meghianna recognized, but couldn't quite understand, even after all Nalla and Mrillis had explained to her. "Those enemies tried to kidnap her. And when they couldn't, they tried to kill her."
"People died, Papa?" she whispered. She rested her head on his shoulder when he sat down on her favorite bench, next to the stone shelter that held all her gardening tools and protected the spring she used for watering her garden.
"Good people died to protect her. And once our enemies knew where she was, I knew she wouldn't be safe anywhere but here, where enchanters could watch her and protect from magic attack. And Captain Gynefra could protect her from knives and arrows and swords."
"She needs a papa and a sister, doesn't she?"
"Are you sure you don't need a sister, more?" He wrinkled his nose at her and tipped his head down so their noses and foreheads touched.
"I think... if she knows you like I know you, Papa, Megassa will love you as much as I do. She is going to be a soldier. She can protect you when I'm not here. When we are grown up, of course," she added with a decisive nod.
"Of course," Efrin sighed.
* * * *
Megassa showed more interest in getting to know her new pony and learning to ride him than she did in meeting her father. That bothered Meghianna, until Lord Mrillis explained that when people were hurt in their hearts, they were slow to trust and to make friends. Megassa knew her father hadn't wanted to see her when she came to the fortress the fall before, and that hurt her. It would take time, Mrillis warned, before Megassa and Efrin could be friends, then learn to love each other. He told Meghianna he approved of her reasoning, and that soothed away her fear that she had caused problems for her father with her request.
Efrin made an effort to go riding with his daughters every three or four days. His roar of laughter when Megassa made her pony perform tricks for him encouraged her to try more tricks, and take chances with risky riding. Efrin realized first what Megassa was going to do, the day she wore leggings and a boy's tunic on their ride, and knelt in the saddle before they had left the gates of the fortress. He rode up close to the pony, watching the little girl rather than the road ahead of them. When Megassa scrambled up to stand in the saddle, his face went white and he rode close enough his warhorse almost stepped on the pony. Meghianna decided that meant he did indeed care about Megassa. When she slipped, Efrin snatched her up into his saddle almost before she let out her little cry of fear.
"Gynefra, are you teaching my daughter trick riding?" he demanded, when he swung his mount around to face the other riders.
"No, Majesty." The guard captain went pale also, but sat straight in her saddle and held out her arms to take Megassa.
"Then someone had better start." Efrin turned Megassa around in the saddle to face him. From her vantage point, Meghianna saw her sister stare at him, wide-eyed and pale, with trembling lips. That was fear, she realized, and wondered how Megassa could ever fear their father. "You did very well, for being so young. I wouldn't want you to break your pretty little neck. Promise me, you'll be careful?"
"Yes, sir," Megassa whispered. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?" He shook his head. "I'm proud of you. That was very clever. I hear you're a good bowman already. I'm glad you want to be a soldier. That is an important thing to do. Someday, when you're grown, you will ride next to me in battle."
"I will?"
"I promise." Efrin let out a sigh that ended on a growl. "Megassa... we've started badly, but I do want to be friends." He glanced at Meghianna, and something in her expression made him laugh. "I am your father, and your sister loves you--"
"She does?" Megassa twisted around to look at Meghianna, her eyes wide with wonder, and glistening with tears.
"Now I've gone and done it." He lifted her up and held her close for a brief hug. Then he swung her over into Gynefra's waiting arms. "I've bungled it again. Mrillis--"
"I think it would be best if Meghianna and Gynefra explained things to Megassa," Mrillis said, his tone dry and tight, but a sparkle of laughter in his eyes. "Women are much better with such things."
"Please do." Efrin shook his head. "I think we should finish our ride, and then we have a delegation from Moerta arriving this morning, don't we?"
"Yes, Majesty, we do." Mrillis turned his head, met Meghianna's gaze, and winked. She grinned back. When she looked at Megassa again, her sister watched her with a somber gaze, but her tears had dried already.
"I think I would learn tricks better with a bigger horse," Megassa offered in a little voice. "Please?"
"Start small," Gynefra said as she settled Megassa on the saddle behind her. "It's a shorter distance to fall."
"I won't fall. I never fall," the little girl proclaimed, so much pride and certainty in her voice, it earned a grin and laughter from Efrin and Mrillis both.