Press button to improve quality of sound.
It was 4:20 in the morning, the room was hazy, and JP and I shook our heads, laughing incredulously. I had recently purchased a new set of portable speakers for my Sony Walkman cassette player and was anxious to try them out. But of course, being the OCD guy that I was (and essentially still am), first and foremost I was compelled to meticulously pore over the full set of instructions. And there it was in the diagram, word-for-word: Press button to improve quality of sound.
Seriously?! What kind of “choice” is that? When would you ever not choose to press this button? JP and I tried to concoct some scenario when you might seductively nuzzle up to your sweetheart on a moonlit night and gently croon, “Baby, I’m kind of in the mood for some crappy sounding music tonight…What d’ya say?”
People love the idea of choice and control, we mused. Especially when it requires very little effort. And particularly when it seems like there are no costs. But this little damn button wasn’t a real choice — it was a pseudo-choice. Hell, when would you not want anything to be “better”? JP and I were now on a roll:
When would you not want a better night’s sleep?
When would you not want better tasting food?
When would you not want more pleasurable sex?
When would a man not want to feel more virile or a woman more attractive?
When would you not want to feel stronger, healthier, or more energetic?
We couldn’t think of a single exception to wanting to feel better…even if “just little bit” better.” JP and I mulled this idea over for a while. Maybe it explained the alcoholic’s one-size-fits-all rationalization for drinking:
“It’s been a great day — I want to celebrate with a drink.”
“It’s been a horrible day — I’ve earned the right to a drink.”
“It’s been a boring day — I might as well have a drink.”
It all seems to be about seeking pleasure. In a word: hedonism. We wondered aloud if hedonism is inescapably hard-wired in our nature. Then again, to quote a line from the movie The African Queen, maybe “nature is what we were put on earth to rise above.” But, on the other hand…
Okay, enough! JP and I had hit the limit of our 4:20 ponderings. Time to shut up and finally listen to some music. First up: “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” (And, of course, we pressed the button to improve the quality of the sound. Some “choices” aren’t really choices after all.)