Once upon a time things were four thousand, eight hundred and seventy-three and five-sixteenths badder than the time things were three times as bad as the time things were twice as bad as the time when they were just very, very bad.
In fact things were SO bad that it made all the previous bad days seem like the good old days and the memory of those good old bad days made everybody cry and feel very sorry for themselves and feel even badder than they already did.
But eventually people started saying, ‘Hey, we can’t just sit around crying all day and feeling bad. We should try to fix things and make everything good again.’
So everybody got up, wiped their tears away, stopped feeling sorry for themselves and tried to make things good again.
But it was no use. The more they tried to make things good again, the badder things got. Things just got badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder and badder.
THE END