‘Does tha want to go straight home, Robin?’
They had reached Hessle as dusk and a light rain were falling.
‘Tha might as well, no sense in coming back to ’Trotts, Toby won’t be there, and ’donkey will find his way home.’
‘If tha’s sure? Aye I will then. I’m dead beat.’
They were both tired, the journey had seemed longer coming back, and they had had to walk up most of the hills, urging on the donkey who refused to carry their weight, and jumping in the cart as he gathered speed on the downward slopes.
But Annie had delighted in the selling. Once she had got over her diffidence of talking to people, when she knew that she had something that they wanted, she began to feel the confidence of success. Her enthusiasm in the quality of the goods, and the way in which she handled the material as if it was something precious, influenced the women, whether cottagers, or cooks, housekeepers or farmers’ wives, and they had all bought from her.
The pocket book which Toby had given her in which to record her sales she’d filled with pictures. For Mrs Corner she drew two circles, one on top of another to denote her roundness and she counted on her fingers the items she had bought, and drew short straight lines to mark how many. For another customer she drew a figure with a man’s hat on and a pipe in its mouth and a cloud of smoke issuing from the bowl, for the old woman had puffed constantly as they had shown her their goods, and Annie had thought that she would die of coughing. Four stick figures represented the innkeeper’s daughters, two taller than the others; and for the innkeeper, again, two fat circles – and she knew she would remember who had asked for the special arrangements.
She took the reins from Robin and cracked the whip. She’d been wanting to do this since the start of their journey, only hadn’t liked to ask. To her surprise the animal moved off immediately, heading for home.
She mused on another time when she had ridden in a cart. Francis had been driving it, and she had felt like a lady until he had ordered her out in no uncertain manner. She shivered as she thought about him and fear descended now that she was alone. Nobody knows him here, she told herself, or me. How could they? But she glanced nervously at passersby and pulled her shawl about her head.
Mrs Trott had locked up for the night and Annie had to hammer on the door to be let in. The old woman grumbled at her and told her that she was back too early, that they should have stayed away another day.
‘We’ve sold out,’ Annie explained. ‘There was nowt left to sell. We’ve come back for fresh supplies.’
‘What? All muslins and that? Never!’
‘Aye. ’Whole lot, except for a few ribbons and bits of stuff. I kept getting asked for extras,’ she added slyly. ‘I wasn’t sure what they meant.’
Mrs Trott looked sour. ‘Aye well, I used to take a few bits o’ this and that, for special customers. I never reckoned on somebody else taking me place.’
No wonder she’s got the hump, Annie thought. She must think Toby’s ditched her because of me. ‘Well maybe we can come to some arrangement, Mrs Trott. Think about it if tha wants.’
Henry Trott arrived back from his night shift the next morning and Mrs Trott took herself off to the village to buy cheese from the dairy and meat from the butcher.
‘Tha can bring in wood and draw water and wash ’vegetables, and I’ll bring back a bit o’ shin for stew. Then tha can scrub ’table and sweep ’floor. Don’t sit about doing nowt and don’t disturb Mr Trott.’
There’s not much chance of doing that, Annie thought, looking at him already in his bed with his nightcap askew, and his lips quivering. We’re going to have a performance any minute now.
After stacking the wood at the side of the hearth she took a broom and swept up all the dust. She looked round. It looks clean enough to me. She’d never know if it was done or not. Annie brought in the water and then looked glumly at the pile of potatoes and turnips which she’d been told to scrub. She sighed and wandered to the door. The morning was damp and misty, winter was on its way.
She closed the door to keep in the heat but the fire began to smoke, so she opened it a crack and then walked idly around the room. Mrs Trott had left out her bedding. Usually she folded it and put it into the chest, but today she had straightened it and left it on top of the lid.
Annie took the blanket to the door, shook it and folded it and lifted the lid of the chest. She knelt down beside it and placed the blanket on top of the sheets and linens that were there. Idly she ran the material through her fingers. It was good stuff, quite fine, not ordinary fustian like most people used. Mrs Trott obviously treated herself to the best, although it looked unused.
She lifted up the top layer, there was her own satin petticoat, washed and folded, and next to it another piece of coloured silk, underneath that was a fold of lace. ‘Why, she’s nowt but a squirrel,’ she muttered. ‘When’s she going to use these?’
Curiously she delved further into the chest, Mr Trott was still whistling and rattling in fine form and she knew that he would sleep for hours. There was another blanket stretched across the length of the chest and she lifted a corner. Beneath it were two parcels wrapped in calico, she opened them and inside were waxed bags. She pulled one out and sniffed it. ’Baccy, she grinned. I knew it. ’Old lass has got a bit o’ business going. She pulled up the other one. The smell wasn’t so strong so she tore a corner with her finger nail and put her nose to it. Tea! She breathed in the aroma and sat back on her heels.
Her back was to the door and she didn’t hear it being pushed further open, but she saw the shaft of light against the floor and then the shadow as Toby stepped into the room.
‘What are you doing? I didn’t think you’d be back yet.’ He stood over her as she quickly pushed back the bags and straightened the blanket on top of them.
‘Nowt,’ she stammered. ‘I’m just putting Mrs Trott’s blanket away. She forgot,’ she added lamely, ‘I’m just tidying up for her.’
He put his hand over his mouth to hide a laugh and glanced towards the bed. ‘You? Tidying up? Come outside.’ He grabbed her by the arm and dragged her to the door.
‘Now tell me what you were really doing, Annie? You were searching in Mrs Trott’s chest. What for?’
She hung her head and scuffed the ground with the toe of her boot. He didn’t sound cross, just stern and disappointed.
‘When we went to some of ’customers, they asked if Mrs Trott had sent them owt, I told them I’d bring what they wanted next time. Only I wasn’t sure what it was they were after, well, only partly sure – I guessed it was tea and ’baccy.’ She lifted her head defiantly and stared him in the face. ‘So I thought I’d look. I knew she put things in ’chest, cos I’ve seen her do it. One night when she thought I was asleep, I saw her. It was ’night she opened ’henhouse door for thee.’
He gasped and she knew that now they were on an equal footing.
‘I’ll not tell on thee, Toby. Tha’s been good to me and I’ll not forget it, but if I’m to work for thee, I want to know ’risks.’
He shook his head. ‘You don’t understand, Annie. The selling that you and Robin do, has nothing to do with the other. Mrs Trott must have been selling for herself, and I didn’t realize – no really,’ he added as Annie pulled a cynical face.
‘I wondered why she was so against you going in her place.’ He leaned against the wall and stared blankly into space. ‘She’s helped me, I have to say, with hiding stuff, and I’ve paid her in kind, with tea and tobacco, or linen. I thought she was keeping it for herself. She’s a hoarder, she always was. And all the time she’s been taking such a tremendous risk.’ He put his hands to his head. ‘If she’d been stopped and searched!’
Annie laughed. ‘Nobody would have stopped her. She’d have given ’em ’sharp end of her tongue if they had. But what about thee? What about risk thy’s taking?’
He grinned, his eyes merry. ‘I told you before Annie. Life can be fun. It’s also exciting. I get a tremendous thrill inside when I’m pitting myself against authority, when the chase is on and it’s them or me. And,’ he said in mitigation. ‘I’m not hurting anybody, I’m helping those who can’t help themselves. These are hard times and the people can’t afford to pay taxes on tea and tobacco; it’s only his Majesty and his Government who are losing out, and they can well afford it.’
There was silence between them, then he reached towards her and pulled her towards him. She gasped as he put his arms around her and spoke with his mouth against hers.
‘So. What do I do about you, Annie? You could tell the authorities about me and collect a reward. Or you can join me and live dangerously.’
She struggled free from his arms and pushed him away. ‘I telled thee afore. I’m finished wi’ men, so don’t try owt.’ She flushed, his arms had felt strong and safe. ‘Tha said afore we could be like brother and sister.’
‘And so we can, Annie.’ His face told her he was teasing. ‘I was only giving you a brotherly hug.’
‘And – and besides, I heard that tha was finished wi’ all that.’
‘Finished with all what?’ He looked puzzled.
‘Women and that.’ She felt embarrassed. She had never come across a man who was ever finished with it.
‘Has someone been saying something?’ He looked angry.
‘Somebody said that tha’d been crossed in love, and had vowed to be er—,’ she searched for the word.
‘What?’ His voice was sharp, devoid of humour and she knew that here was a different man.
‘Celibate,’ she whispered. ‘Though I’d never believe that of any man, none that I’ve ever known anyroad.’
They both turned as they heard the creak of the paddock gate and Mrs Trott came into view. As she tussled with the catch and her umbrella, Toby took Annie’s hand and hurried her around the corner of the house.
‘Quickly. Don’t let her see us.’ They ran up the slope at the back of the house and into the shelter of a belt of trees.
‘She’ll come looking for me. I haven’t done ’vegetables like she said.’
He peered out from behind a bush. ‘She won’t come up here; and anyway it will give her some satisfaction if she has to do the work herself. She told me that you wouldn’t be any good in the house.’
Annie bridled and then laughed. ‘She’d be right.’ She thought that his good humour had returned, but she was mistaken for he pulled her down onto the ground beside him and pinned her down.
‘Now, tell me what’s been said,’ he demanded. His eyes were cold and bore into her.
‘Don’t look at me like that, Toby.’ She started to cry. ‘I should have known tha’s just like all ’rest. And I’d thought tha was a proper gentleman – all this talk of being brother and sister,’ she sniffed away her tears as he still had hold of her hands. ‘And it means nowt.’
He let go of her hands and taking a handkerchief from his pocket, he gently wiped her face. ‘Have you been ill-used, Annie? Your husband?’
‘Was a bully to me and me bairns, and I wished him dead many times, God forgive me.’
‘And it’s him who’s searching for you, not someone else’s husband, as you said?’
She sat up and wiped her nose on her skirt and shook her head. ‘Nay, he’s dead all right. He died at sea. It’s somebody else who’s chasing me, but I daren’t tell thee who.’ The tears started to fall again as she thought of the punishment due to her. ‘I’ve to live wi’ this for ’rest of me days.’
‘I didn’t mean to frighten you, Annie. I’m sorry. It’s just that there have been so many rumours about me. Mostly I don’t mind for it stops people wondering what I really do. But sometimes I get angry at the insinuations.’
Annie looked at him and saw a childlike, lonely sorrow on his face and impulsively she leant forward and kissed his cheek. ‘Let’s be friends, thee and me, Toby. I think I can trust thee and I’ll do nowt to harm thee, if tha wants to confide.’
They sat within the shelter of the trees and smiled as they heard the sound of Mrs Trott calling Annie’s name. Ahead of them down the slope and beyond the cottage was the glint of the river, dark today and murky.
‘I fell in love,’ he began. ‘There was a young lady visiting a family near to our home. I was introduced to her and we fell in love. Foolishly, I told my father that I wanted to marry her when I came of age. He laughed at me and said that I’d better get some experience first. I was sixteen; my brother who was two years older had already left home, and I had no-one that I could turn to for advice. My father had always had women, cheap women, and even so-called ladies; they used to visit him at our home or he would go to theirs. He was quite blatant about his excesses: I suspect that my mother had been forced into marriage with him, she could never have chosen him of her own free will.’
He shuddered and Annie looked at him curiously. She had always imagined that people of class, with money and nice houses, lived happy lives; that only those in poverty, like herself and of her ilk, had suffered abject misery. Yet Toby, in spite of his merry manner, had had an unhappy childhood and an unloving father.
‘My father had a regular woman visitor called Hetty and of all the women she was quite pleasant towards me. I decided to confide in her. I told her of the young lady and my feelings towards her, and what my father had said. She said that she would make plans for me, that I should leave it all to her.’
He looked so unhappy that Annie took hold of his hand and kept it clasped in her own while he went on talking.
‘She took me to York. We went in my father’s carriage so he was obviously a party to it, and she introduced me to a woman who kept a house there. It was a fine house, small, yet clean and well furnished, and there by the charms of a particular young woman I came into manhood.’
Annie stifled a yawn. What was he coming to. Wasn’t that what all men did, one way or another?
‘She gave me the clap.’
He shook his hand away from Annie as if he might contaminate her, and glared at her, defying her to judge him.
She nodded. ‘Aye, she would.’
He stared at her. ‘Aren’t you horrified? Isn’t it so degrading?’
‘Tha’d get over it. Everybody gets it at some time, unless tha’s a monk and I wouldn’t put it past them to get a dose now and then.’
He got to his feet and looked down at her. ‘Don’t you understand Annie? I was infected with this terrible disease, and my father and Hetty laughed. They thought it was a huge joke that it should happen on my first encounter with a woman. But what was worse, was that they told the father of the lady I loved. He too thought it was a great joke, until he heard that I had planned to marry his daughter, and then that was a different matter entirely. He said that if I was such a dissipated rake at sixteen, then there was no hope for me and he banned me from seeing her.’
‘Oh, that was daft. Tha’d have got over it eventually, she probably wouldn’t have caught it from thee.’
She knew that was true. Her husband had got it from some whore, but he hadn’t passed it on to her. But then, she’d managed to get him so drunk every night until he went back to sea, that he didn’t come near her.
Toby sat down and put his head in his hands. ‘I loved her so much. Her father told her why he wouldn’t let me marry her and she was repulsed by the thought of it and said that she would never marry me anyway, even if her father said that she could. I vowed then that I’d never touch a woman again, never in my life.’
What a lot of fuss about nowt, Annie mused. It seems a waste though, a handsome man like Toby. I suppose that’s what folks might call principles. Principles. She turned the word over in her mind. She liked the sound of it. She didn’t think that she had ever had any; she shook her head as she pondered. Nay, not me, principles are not for ’likes of me.
Toby had begun talking again. ‘So you see, Annie. This is why I play a dangerous game.’ His eyes glittered. ‘I revel in defying authority. I pay back society for the way I’ve been treated. And one day,’ he said bitterly. ‘I’ll get even with my father.’
‘Tha might get found out. What if ’military catch thee?’ She told him of her meeting with the soldiers.
He shrugged. ‘I’ve nothing to lose but my life, and no one who would care.’
Shocked, she said, ‘I’d care, and ’Trotts ’d care, and what about thy brother?’
‘Ah, my brother. Yes, you must meet my brother, Annie. Are you with me? Will you join me in this mad game? Will you put some excitement into your dull life?’
He was merry again, she thought. It was as if he had locked away all the cares that had previously troubled him. As if he had not even spoken about them. Perhaps she should do the same.
‘Aye, Toby. Happen I will. Like thee I’ve nowt to lose.’