The long cold winter became her summer. Annie felt like the chrysalis which Robin had shown her while they were on the Wolds. It had hung on a fine silken girdle from a plant stem, and he assured her that soon it would be gone and in its place a butterfly would emerge. ‘Lady of the Woods,’ he’d said, ‘the prettiest of them all.’ She hadn’t believed him, not until they returned to the place and found the shrivelled pupa cast on the ground and above them a free and fluttering orange tip butterfly.
She felt that she too had cast off her old life. She had shed her past, forgotten her beginnings, let slip even the memory of her children, as love and passion absorbed her. The desire of wanting Matt replaced all else and her days were spent watching for his ship; riding through the night to greet him and rowing with breathless anticipation towards the Breeze; mounting the ladder with practised ease and wanting him so desperately that there was no waiting for him to join her in the cottage before dawn, just falling into each other’s arms with an urgency born of need, the moment they reached his cabin.
Exhilaration gripped her; she was invincible. She took tremendous risks, drawing Roxton away from the river as the men unloaded the goods and leading him on a chase through the saltmarsh and scrub land and into the darkness of Hesslewood where she lost him. She had bought a donkey-and-cart with her own money and carried her goods in baskets in the back of the cart through the streets of Hessle and under the very nose of Roxton. She stopped him and asked if he would buy some ribbons for his lady and he brusquely turned away and didn’t hinder her; she cracked her whip and laughingly drove off to visit the big houses where she asked for the master and unloaded the ankers of brandy and geneva which they so gratefully received.
‘I must visit my father.’ Matt lay on the bed next to her, stroking her thigh. ‘I haven’t seen him for months. I’ll go tomorrow.’
‘Don’t be long away, will you? I’ll miss you. I’m greedy for you. I can’t bear it when you’re away.’
He rolled over and pulled her towards him. ‘I’ll miss you too.’ He placed his lips around her nipples and she breathed in a sigh of delight. Her fears had gone that first day, when he’d soothed and enticed her, seeking to please her, finding hidden secret places of ecstacy, so secret that she had never known before that they were there. Her body throbbed. Never had she felt so desirable. Never had she thought she could give or receive such pleasure. Never had she felt so much love.
When he returned he was brimming over with glee. ‘Father has been invited out yet again. A neighbour, Mrs Burnby, was visiting when I arrived and has invited him to a supper party. He declined of course, and then she asked me. I too declined saying that I had to get back to my ship. “Oh” she said, “But it’s not for another three weeks, Captain, you have time to come back again.” Again I declined, but then she went on to say that it was to be a masked party – and what do you think?’ He picked Annie up and whirled her round. ‘I said I would only go if I could bring a partner.’
Annie stared at him. What was he talking about?
‘She was a bit put-out I think. I’m sure she was angling for me to partner that whingeing niece of hers who was once set on Toby. Anyhow, she could hardly withdraw the invitation, and then father said that if I was going, then he might as well go also.’
‘So who is this partner that you’re taking?’ Annie said resentfully. This was a part of his life which she couldn’t share, and could never be a part of.
‘Why you, of course. Who else is there? Who else is there that I should choose to partner me?’
Hungrily he began to undress her, fumbling with the buttons of her blouse in his eagerness to hold her.
‘Stop.’ Her lips mumbled beneath his. ‘How can I partner you? How can you take me, a waif and stray?’
Sometimes she teased him, reminding him of the time when he had said such things. He became penitent, or sometimes angry with her for reminding him. He was angry now.
‘Don’t tell me what I can or can’t do.’ He pinned her down on the bed. ‘I will if I want to.’ Then his eyes became soft as he gazed down at her. ‘I want you to come with me, I hate it when I’m away from you. I wanted you with me on the Wolds when I visited my father, I want you with me on the Breeze, only I know that it is too dangerous.’ Then he laughed. ‘Do come. Josh can take care of the running this once. We won’t be needed. Think what a jest it would be!’
What a jest indeed. To go from a life on the dank and muddy wharves of the river to a fine party in a great house. It was a great house as she well knew. But Matt didn’t know that she had been, he didn’t know that she had met Mrs Burnby, that she had sold her satins for her gowns, maybe even for one that she would wear for the party.
She smiled. She had gone into the great house by the back door. If she attended the party with Matt she would enter by the front. What a jest. But it was time now for some truths to be told.
‘Matt?’ She reached up and touched his lips. ‘I’ve something to tell you.’
He sighed and held her close. ‘Can’t it wait?’
When she told him that she had met Mrs Burnby and her two nieces and that she thought that it was probably his father who had turned her off his land, he was more determined than ever that she should go.
‘But my voice will give me away, even if I wear a mask. You knew that I was a nobody – no, be honest, you did,’ she added as he started to protest. ‘And besides I haven’t a dress. How can I go in what I have?’
He grinned. ‘Now you’re making a typical woman’s excuse. There’s a trunk full of silk which will make a dozen dresses. And as for your voice – well. I know – we’ll say that you’re Dutch and that you don’t speak much English! You could be, quite easily, with your fair hair, and if anyone asks you an awkward question then just shake your head and say that you don’t understand. I’ll say that you’re a widow, which is true, and that your name is, erm – Annaliese Hope.’
She started to laugh. What a lark it would be, and if they were found out, what did it matter. Matt wouldn’t care and neither would she.
They opened up a chest and brought out silks and satins, and then Annie remembered the other chest, the one she hadn’t yet looked in, which was covered in rugs and cushions which Toby had said he’d stolen from his father’s house. They took off the coverings and beneath they found a sandalwood chest, sweet smelling and carved with scrolls.
‘I remember this,’ said Matt quietly. ‘I didn’t know that Toby had it. It was our mother’s. She kept it in her room.’
‘Toby said he brought things away bit by bit, so that no one would notice,’ Annie stroked the carved lid. ‘Though how anyone could fail to miss this I can’t understand.’
‘The servants would know. They would just be pandering to Toby’s games.’ He shook his head sadly. ‘He could get away with anything, could Toby.’
She took his hand and held it. ‘And you couldn’t?’
‘Not then.’ He lifted his head and laughed. ‘But now I can. Let’s show them all, Annie. We can do whatever we want.’
The chest contained silks which Matt had brought from abroad, clocks and trinkets which Toby had brought from his father’s house; and wrapped in a muslin cloth was a string of pearls. Matt placed them around Annie’s neck. ‘Pearls for a princess,’ he said and kissed her.
‘But I can’t wear these,’ she protested, fingering them lovingly. ‘It doesn’t seem right.’
‘It doesn’t seem right that they’re locked away in a chest. Perhaps they were my mother’s, or maybe Toby bought them intending to give them to Clara.’ He shrugged. ‘Who knows? But now they’re yours. And pearls should be worn,’ he added. ‘They need the contact with a woman’s skin to give them their sheen, their translucency. Keep them on,’ he said and gently touched her throat, ‘and by the time we go to the party they will be beautiful. Their colour will be matched only by the colour of your skin.’
At the bottom of the chest was a sheet covering a large yet soft bundle. They opened it out and shook it and out spread a gown of silk, the most beautiful thing that Annie had ever seen. It was the colour of a newly opened damask rose, a flush, a blush of a virgin’s cheek, with silver silken threads running though it. The neckline was low and heartshaped, the skirt full and trailing.
‘There!’ Matt said triumphantly. ‘There is your gown.’
Annie wept. ‘I can’t. I don’t deserve it. It’s meant for a lady.’
‘You will be a lady,’ he laughed. ‘Even if it’s only for one night. Mrs Trott will dress your hair – yes she will. We’ll give her something.’
Annie smiled through her tears and picked out a piece of shiny satin from the heap on the floor. ‘Yes, she will. We’ll give her this to add to all the others in her chest.’
Matt took Annie and the dress down to Mrs Trott and told her what he wanted her to do. She took the dress from him and handled it softly, drawing its silkiness through her fingers.
‘I remember it,’ she nodded. ‘It was your mother’s. Only she never wore it. She got took ill and it was put away in a chest and never brought out. I often wondered what happened to it.’
‘Tidy it up, will you, Mrs Trott? It’s badly creased and I have it in mind to give it as a present for someone. Oh, yes—. Mrs Hope and I have a wager on. She said that she could never look like a lady, and I said that if you dressed her hair, the way you used to my mother’s, then she could – that there was no-one more expert than you. What about it? Can you help me win the pledge?’
‘I reckon she needs to win ’pledge more than thee, Captain Linton, tha doesn’t need money, of that I’m sure.’ A gleam came into her eye. ‘It’s been a long time, a long, long time since I dressed my lady’s hair, but aye, I reckon I can still do it.’ She glanced at Annie who still felt there was a trace of animosity lingering towards her. ‘It’ll be a challenge mind, but aye, I’ll try.’
By the time the three weeks had passed and Matt was due to return, Mrs Trott had once more become an expert. Annie’s hair had been washed and brushed and washed and brushed until her scalp was sore, but her hair was shining like a mirror, and as soft and luxuriant as silk, and Mrs Trott had piled and pinned the long straight tresses into various styles. Finally she decided. ‘Tha hasn’t got ’type of hair for owt elaborate. It’s too fine and silky. I’ll have to coil it. I’ll coil it over each ear and I’ll twist the back, and if tha was really going to a party or a ball, then I’d dress it through with flowers or pearls.’
Annie smiled secretly. ‘Tomorrow Captain Linton will be back. I’ll come in the morning and then we’ll be ready for him. Does tha think he’ll win his wager?’ she asked mischievously.
‘Aye,’ she admitted. ‘I’ve not been beaten.’
He came that night. He’d dropped anchor in Hessle Haven and rowed to shore bringing with him a circlet of pearls to match the necklace. ‘You can wear it in your hair tomorrow,’ he said. ‘That’s what the proper ladies do.’
‘I know,’ she laughed. ‘I’ve just been told.’
Matt carried a leather valise; Annie’s dress, which was wrapped in a cotton sheet, he draped over his arm as they walked into Hessle where he had ordered a carriage for their journey to his father’s house.
Annie carefully covered her hair with her hood. She was wearing just a simple skirt and shirt beneath her cloak and would change at the inn at Welton where Matt had reserved two rooms.
‘Two rooms?’ she’d asked with a smile.
‘Of course,’ he answered. ‘Don’t forget that you are a respectable young widow, and that rumours can soon spread. It’s a very well-known inn and it’s possible that other guests of Mrs Burnby will be calling there.’
She was beginning to be nervous. Suppose someone guessed what she was? Suppose someone spoke in the foreign language of Dutch and engaged her in conversation? The only Dutch person that she had known was her late husband’s former captain on his whaling ship. She remembered his fair good looks and broken English accent. She fell silent and began mentally practising stilted conversation.
The carriage was already waiting for them at the Marquis of Granby Inn and Matt helped her in. She breathed in the smell of leather and commented. ‘It smells like a slaughter house.’
‘Ssh,’ he said. ‘You’re a lady. You’re not supposed to know about such things. You only know about music and theatres and fashion.’
‘But I don’t,’ she implored. ‘Matt – I don’t know. Only ’flutes and drums and shops that I’ve seen in ’Market Place in Hull.’
‘Then tell about those.’ He laughed at her. ‘Make up a story, I know full well that you can, and everyone will think that that’s the way it is in Holland. The ladies that you’ll meet tonight know nothing. They’ll believe everything you say.’
They swung into the coachyard of the inn in the small village of Welton at the foot of the Wolds and he whispered into her ear. ‘Now don’t forget, you’re foreign. You don’t understand. Just nod and smile if I should speak to you.’
The innkeeper’s wife took charge of her when Matt explained that she spoke little English, and would require the services of a maid to help her dress. She stared wide-eyed at him but dare not speak. What was he thinking of? She was perfectly capable of dressing herself.
He handed the dress to the landlady and then unclasped his valise and took out another bag which he handed to Annie and spoke in a language which she didn’t understand. He gave her a small bow and then turned and went upstairs.
Annie watched him go and then turned to the landlady with a question in her raised eyebrows.
‘Molly will look after you, ma’am,’ the woman shouted at her. ‘She’s here now.’
A young girl in cap and apron appeared and she too shouted instructions at Annie to please follow her.
Do they think I’m deaf? she wondered as she followed the girl to her room. Or stupid, not being able to dress myself?
The room was warm and comforting with a four-poster bed draped with thick hangings and beside the fire was a table with a bowl and jug of hot water and warm white towels upon it.
‘I’ll just fetch thee refreshment ma’am, like ’gentleman said,’ the girl shouted. ‘Tha’ll be tired after thy long journey. Then I’ll help thee dress.’
‘Excuse, please.’ Annie pointed to her ear and shook her head. ‘I not deaf.’
The girl nodded. ‘Aye, that’s right, I expect, ma’am,’ and giving Annie a bright smile she bobbed her knee and went out of the room.
Annie chortled with laughter and taking off her cloak, bounced on the bed testing it for comfort. She stretched herself luxuriantly, how wonderful to sleep in such a bed. She closed her eyes for a moment, then remembering that soon Matt would be coming for her, she climbed off and unbuttoned her skirt and shirt and pouring water into the bowl began to wash. She remembered the bag which Matt had given her and wondered what was in it. She picked it up from the chair where she had left it and opened it. Inside was a silk underslip and petticoat, white stockings and a pair of white kid shoes, and long, elbow-length gloves. She delved to the bottom of the bag, something else was there. She held the garment up. Pantaloons!
She laughed and took off her shift and put them on and paraded in front of the oval swing mirror. She had never worn such things. How strange it felt to have her legs encased in such a fashion. She picked up the underslip and petticoat with a happy exclamation and pressed their softness to her cheeks. How thoughtful of him to think of such things. Then she reflected wryly on how he would have known what to buy. But she dismissed the thought. He’d had a life before her, what of it? Now was the time that mattered.
She stuffed the old shift in the bag and continued her bathing. The maid, Molly, came in bearing a tray with a bottle of wine and two glasses and a plate of thin slices of beef. She stared at Annie standing almost naked before the fire and hurriedly closed the door.
‘Dear me,’ she muttered. ‘I knew foreigners did strange things, but teckin’ all their clothes off, well I never!’
Later, she poured Annie a glass of wine which she slowly sipped, and then helped her into her stockings, underslip and petticoat. She took the gown from its wrap and shook it and invited Annie, by way of nodding and pointing, to step into it.
It was like looking at someone else in the mirror. It certainly didn’t seem like her. She didn’t know that she had such fine cheekbones, shown to such an advantage with her hair drawn away from her face, dressed with pearls and coiled and twisted about her ears. And the gown, how it showed off her slenderness as it nipped her waist and pushed up her breasts to swell the heartshaped neckline.
She fingered the pearls about her throat. Matt had been right, they glistened much more since she had worn them, now they had a lustrous sheen as they nestled so comfortably on her pale throat.
There was a knock on the door and Molly hurried to answer it.
‘Is Mrs Hope almost ready?’
Annie turned from the mirror to see Matt standing there in naval uniform with white breeches and stockings and carrying a tricorne hat. He looked so handsome she wanted to run and put her arms around him.
‘She’s almost ready sir.’ Even Molly seemed overawed as she stared at him, then remembering herself, she bobbed her knee.
‘Please. Come in, Captain.’ Annie extended her hand. ‘I am ready.’
Matt brushed past the maid and took Annie’s hand and bending low, kissed it. ‘You are beautiful,’ he murmured.
The maid watched the handsome couple, her eyes shining and her mouth open. ‘Oh, sir,’ she said. ‘Isn’t madam lovely? Beggin’ her pardon, and I know it’s not my place to comment, and it doesn’t seem right talking of her when she doesn’t understand – but she looks so handsome.’
Matt smiled, ‘I’m quite sure that she wouldn’t mind in the least. I’ll convey your comments once we are on our journey.’
Molly dipped her knee again and went out, closing the door after her. Matt strode after her and opened it again and heard her cry out to the landlady. ‘Oh, mum. What a handsome pair. And so in love, tha can tell.’
‘How handsome you look.’ Annie put out her hands to hold his.
‘My father says that I am not a proper seaman, because I don’t wear a uniform or gold braid.’ There was a note of bitterness in his voice and he fingered the gilt buttons on his frock coat. ‘So I’m going to show him how I would look if I wanted to.’
He tipped up his hat. ‘Here. Here is our disguise.’ Tucked inside the hat were two masks, one in white silk for her and one in black for him. ‘We’ll put them on now to go down to the carriage.’ He gave her a sudden smile. ‘The fun is about to begin, Annie. You are a beautiful but penniless Dutch widow, and I a respectable naval captain. And not one of my father’s honourable and dignified acquaintances could begin to guess otherwise.’